SKJAM!: (Hikaru voice) "I am one with the fire. The fire protects
me
and heals me. I will not burn."
Lurker: (SKJAM! voice) "I am one with the mallet. The mallet protects
me and heals me. I will not be bashed through the wall."
<wham>
Kira: I've sorta been stuck in this volcano, no one calls, no one
writes...
Lurker: (Genie voice) Could be worse. Try ten thousand years in a
little gold lamp.
SKJAM!: Interesting variation of telepathy special effects, which
works
very well for prose.
Thanks! I thought it might work...
Kira: Which suggests that Rayearth is now in command of the body...
Only he's too busy controlling the test, so they're all still in a
trance...
SKJAM!: Having P-chan show up here would really be straining
Akane's
"no-see-um" attitude. He'd better hope no one notices...
Fortunately, I came up with a convenient copout...errr....a great way
to prevent the curses from running amok in Cephiro...
SKJAM!: uh-oh! Permanent vendetta time.
Lurker: (Brando voice) Now where did I leave those black roses...
Kodachi: OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!
Ryouga: <sweatdrop> Ummm...I'm Japanese, Lurker. Not Sicilian.
Lurker: Oh yeah...
SKJAM!: Yes and no. Put him near a girl, especially Akane, and his
willpower drops to nil.
But his will to remain human and not turn into a pig is indomitable.
SKJAM!: No, you turned into a potted plant.
<A kawaii brown-haired head pops out of a potted plant>
Tsubasa: Hey! I resemble that remark!
Kira: Who says you can't?
SKJAM!: And if Akane and Ranma start getting closer, staying in
Cephiro
might seem like a pretty good idea to Ryouga.
We shall see, we shall see...
Kira: Hint, this isn't the real Tso Pu...
No kiddin'.
SKJAM!: Trick, it's got to be a trick...
Hikaru: I am *not* a trick!
SKJAM!: <sizzle>
Lurker: Anou, Hikaru-chan...he was talking about what Tso Pu said...
Hikaru: Oh. <blush>
Kira: Taking the law into your own hands is illegal. You should
immediately report them to the police so they can be arrested,
fairly
tried and executed in due accordance with the Chinese penal code.
<snicker>
SKJAM!: Okay, what's *he* doing in ancient China?
Looking for the seven Seishi of Suzaku?
Kira: This is definitely some kind of trick.
What a mean thing to say about the pillar of Cephiro...
Kira: When rapists tell you to kill them, there's something wrong.
Unless they're masochistic rapists...
Kira: Patiently? Okay, where's the real Nerima warriors and what
have
you done with them?
I left them at your place. They were arguing about their favorite
Jackie Chan flicks last I saw them.
Kira: Super-soba effect...I'll bet Shampoo and Ukyou are glad
they're
getting their own power-ups right now.
SKJAM!: Actually, I enjoy any fic where Akane gets to one-up her
rivals...absent accidentally gutting them with a katana, of course.
Well, considering that Akane's now going to have a Thor complex...
<grin>
SKJAM!: Should be really fun if she can do that with escudo too.
Well, when they get their Escudo weapons, Presea makes weapons
especially suited to them. So, probably, she'll have her spatulas
back, and Ryouga will get his umbrella...
Kira: Planetary Bakusai Tenketsu!
Sumpin' like dat...
SKJAM!: (Darth Vader voice) "Feel the power of the Dark Side,
Shampoo."
"Shampoo, I am your father."
"You lie! Shampoo father never look that cool!"
SKJAM!: Apparently deaged past her very tall teen years.
Quite. Of course, that's to be expected: Clef looks to be about 10 or
so, but he's 700...
Kira: No, it's a tall Smurf.
Cologne: <whack> Smurf you.
Kira: We're in the anime continuity, so this is before Nodoka has
found
out the secret, right?
SKJAM!: In theory, though the Musk haven't appeared in the anime
either. But since she wasn't mentioned in any of the Tendou home
scenes, we may presume that is the case.
Yeah...it seems this story keeps jumping between the continuities.
Suffice it to say, although everything from the anime has happened,
this story assumes volumes 36-38 of the manga never happened.
Kira: (Nodoka voice) Through the miracle of human speech. I would
explain in greater physical detail, but I'm in a hurry to kill you.
Sheesh...
SKJAM!: Well, not *no* honor.
Kira: Must be Blade in disguise.
ACK!! That's the SECOND person to make that comment... <chuckle>
Kira: Well, the manga Nodoka would be okay with this. The problem
is
getting the girls to *share*.
Shampoo: Stupid spatula girl! It Shampoo turn to make whoopee with
Ranma tonight.
Ukyou: Oh no you don't. Tonight's my night with Ranchan.
Meanwhile, in the bedroom...
Ahem...nevermind.
Kira: Actually, some samurai tradition, like that of ancient Greece,
considered homosexuality the only truly "manly" love. OTOH, they
were
still required to marry women to produce heirs.
But somehow, I don't see Nodoka encouraging Ranma to get it on with
some dude....
SKJAM!: Mind you, good women have these same traits...
Good *people* have these same traits. But for this example, we let
Ranma get away with it...
Kira: Ranma doesn't think very much of his father, does he?
Would you?
Kira: (Nodoka voice) You must find the Holy Grail.
Wrong fic again, and they aren't gonna get that far along anyway...
SKJAM!: (Clef voice) Only 150 years old, barely out of diapers...
<Clef conjures up one of his old diapers, and drops it in SKJAM!'s
lap>
SKJAM!: Though the brains seem to have been diluted...
<snicker>
Kira: yes, that's tempting, but murder isn't Ranma's style.
And therein lies the nature of the test...
SKJAM!: Because she wants Ranma all to herself.
Hikaru: Never! Ranma-kun and I are of one mind and one body!
Nodoka: One...mind?
Masaru (Hikaru's brother): One...body?
Nodoka: (pointing) ONE MIND AND ONE BODY!?
Kira: Yes, she does, she's a Magic Knight. It's Ranma that's out
of
place in Cephiro.
I think she meant she's got no place inside Ranma...
SKJAM!: "over" two years would be better here.
Good call!
Kira: Well, technically, the word usually translated as "Drowned"
in the
spring names can also mean "immersed", as in the case of
Akaneniichuan.
Heh...you'd make a great defense lawyer for Jyusenkyou's true victims.
..
Kira: (Hikaru voice) But...how did you know about the hamster?
<thwap!>
SKJAM!: No, somehow I think knowing this is a test is giving you
extra
gumption.
Somehow I think so too. If this were the real Nodoka, Ranma'd have
talked himself into a hole by now...a hole in his abdomen, that is....
SKJAM!: Note that he does mean "outside combat" here. I'm pretty
sure
he considers self-defense okay.
Naturally.
SKJAM!: At the moment. Your sex life might be a bit of a mess
though.
Hey, there's always that thing they have going in their mind...
<Lurker sweats nervously as suddenly Hikaru and Ranma loom ominously
over him>
<crash-crunch-wham-sizzle-frappe-slam-crush-dent-mangle-spindle-
mutilate-grievousbodilyharm-majorpainandhurting-freunleiven>
SKJAM!: *Knew* that was coming.
Kira: Only because I told you last week.
<shrug> Hey, it was a natural thing to have happen.
SKJAM!: And made a mental note to be far, far away the next time
Ranma
got her mad.
<snicker>
SKJAM!: Except get their love lifes fixed.
There's that...
SKJAM!: Now *that's* a transformation sequence.
<grin> Wait till you see what I have planned for a future act...I've
got something in mind that'll put some of Toriyama Akira's Super
Saiyajins and Fusion Ha to shame...
Kira: The Romanian judge only gave it a 4.5, but everyone else
seems
impressed.
LOL
Kira: Shouldn't that be a "Fire Engine"?
<Rayearth sizzles Kira>
Kira: But if the "revealed to Mom" thing hasn't happened yet, then
he
shouldn't have met Saffron or the other Mt. Phoenix people. Maybe
in
this timeline he can avoid that battle by being diplomatic?
Avoid a battle? Ranma? ROFL! I do have something great in the works
for this though.
Act three should begin soon...tonight, most likely.
____
------------------------------------------------------------
Ryodachi Kouma
"The Eternal Lost Lurker"
squn29a@prodigy.com
My Web Page is UPDATED! Check it out!
http://pages.prodigy.com/EtLostLurker
no da.