This is pretty good. The representations of various stages of Ryoga's
childhood ring true; I think you break interesting ground showing Akane
and Ranma as parents.

Thank you very much! ^_^

If changes are to be made, I'd say make them in the second section, and
a little in the third, by cutting the aspects of caring for young Ryoga
that are repetitive.

I'll go back and have another look at it, but at the moment I'm not really
sure where I'm being repetitive.  What exactly are you talking about
cutting?

Also, I think Nabiki's soliloquy about the fathers'
screwups kind of betrays the author's mind too much (OOC for Nabiki, but
could be toned down). These aren't major problems, but some cutting
would speed up the pace a little.

I knew I could count on you to point out my weak spot! ^_^  I'll definitely
work on that scene, but I'm not sure if I can cure Nabiki of her OOC-ness.
She pretty much has to be the one to point out that they're mirroring their
fathers, because I think she's the only one who would observe and notice
such a pattern.

It would be more like Cologne to insist that Ranma do something for her
in return for her help. Or if she wants to help Ryoga out of generosity,
it might not be a "soft spot" so much as it would be the fact that he
has been her student before, which makes her feel a little responsible.

I think she does have a soft spot for him though, because he was her
student for a while.  Cologne's not really a bad old ghoul, imo, she's just
following her own moral code.  And she and Shampoo do have an ulterior
motive - they really are helping because they care what happens to Ryoga,
but they're also aware that Ranma could be grateful.

You refer to another mushroom story here. I don't personally know it;
you might want to mention where it is, or give a summary or something,
at the beginning of the next post of this story.

Sorry! ^_^  Rumiko Takahashi did this story, I believe it's in Volume 33
(somebody tell me if I'm wrong?).  I've seen the manga and read a summary
of it; I'll have to find that again.  But from what I've seen of it, Ranma
and Ryoga both eat magic mushrooms and get younger, but they pretty much
have the same "maturity level" as before. ^_~

Keep up the good work!

Thanks again, very much!  I'll try to!

^_^

Cindy

P.S.- I lost the address to send the fic summary to!  Somebody help me?