I found this file on CiS, my appoligies if this has been on the list
before.
[HUMOR] Rejected Tenchi continuities
[Ed. Note: The Tenchi timelines is a little our of control. There are
- 13 OAVs (one time line, with more OAVs to come)
- 26 TV Eps. (a different timeline/reality)
- The First Movie (comes after the TV series)
- Pretty Sammy OAV (parody of Sailor-moon-like shows) (yet another
reality)
- Pretty Sammy TV Series (follow the OAV reality)
- Shin Tenchi Muyo (New Tenchi Muyo): Tenchi's College years (follows
TV series reality)
- 2nd Tenchi Movie: ???
- Galaxy Police Mihoshi Special: Kind of follows OAV reality..but not
really.
Thus, this is a topic ripe for mockery :-)
End Ed. Note]
[Ed2. Note:
And that's only the video:
- No Need For Tenchi (Viz - branches off where the 6th OAV end)
- Tenchi Muyo! (P-Anime - don't know what kind of timeline it
follows)
- Drama CDs
So that's 9 - 11 timelines (depending on whether you count the 2nd
movie and the Mihoshi Special as new timelines.) Pioneer is
probably trying to turn Tenchi Muyo into the definite be-all and
end-all harem story.
Business: I've tried to get the credits right, but
if I failed: - I apologize.
End Ed2. Note]
-----------------------------------------------
Ryan Mathews <mathews1@ix.netcom.com> started it all with:
Okay, so now I hear SHIN TENCHI MUYO is yet another (stinking) TENCHI
continuity. This makes *7*! Count 'em: OVA, 1st TV, PRETTY SAMMY
specials, PRETTY SAMMY TV, manga, American comic, and now SHIN TENCHI.
But hey, why stop there? I'm sure if we put our minds to it, we can
make things *way* more confusing than they are now! So, let's go,
with:
TENCHI MU-"YO!" - This alternative version takes place in Hollywood's
favorite economically disadvantaged community, South Central L.A..
Instead of being sealed in a cave, Ryoko has been locked in the trunk
of a junked car for fifty years. Other characters include Mimi Hoshi,
a good cop who saves the hero from a nasty beating at the hands of the
Galaxy Police, and in place of Kagato, Rapmaster Kozmik K, leader of
the West Betelgeuse Crips, and his ship "Sister" Soujah.
Jim Henson's TENCHI BABIES - Aw! It's cute baby Tenchi, baby Aeka,
and baby Ryoko, as they scamper and play at the Masaki Day-Care
Center. Chibi Washuu-chan, the 2-year-old scientific prodigy, is
always creating mischevious inventions using parts from her toys.
Ryoko-chan and Aeka-chan fight over Tenchi until they get so mad they
wet themselves! When the urge for adventure strikes, they fly away
in Ryo-oh-ki, who can transform in a flying playpen.
Quentin Tarentino's TENCHI MUYO! - Meet Tenchi, 16-year-old hit man
for the Masaki gang. Aeka and Ryoko, his main babes, are always
fighting over who gets to hold his gun. Other characters include
Mihoshi, a cop on the take, and Sasami, the child prostitute with a
heart of gold. Washuu creates designer narcotics and Ryo-oh-ki
tranforms into a Ford Mustang.
ROCK ON! TENCHI! - Meet Tenchi, lead guitar and vocals for Tenchi and
the Juraians, the bitchinest rock band this side of Tokyo! Drummer
Ryoko and keyboardist Aeka are always trying to get Tenchi backstage!
If that isn't bad enough, Kiyone and Mihoshi are the two clumsiest
roadies in the history of rock. Sound engineer Washuu manages to blow
out at least one speaker at each gig, and Ryo-oh-ki transforms into
their bus.
TENCHI HENTAI! - Who will win Tenchi's love, as well as his virginity?
Will it be Aeka, the S&M dominatrix with a good heart and a long whip?
Or will it be Ryoko, the incredibly horny, four-breasted, alien
hermaphrodite? Or perhaps Sasami, the impish lolita? Or maybe
Ryo-oh-ki, who can transform into an inflatable doll? Meanwhile,
Washuu-chan invents a never-ending series of high-tech sex toys.
THE TENCHISTONES - Tenchi discovers Ryoko in a cave... the one he
lives in! Yes, Tenchi lives in the stone age with all his friends!
Washuu-chan invents fascinating devices like "fire" and "the club",
and Ryo-oh-ki, their pet half-mastadon/half-rabbit, can transform into
a wheel.
TENCHI DETECTIVE AGENCY - If there's a mystery to solve, Tenchi will
solve it! With the help of millionaire Aeka and ex-convict Ryoko,
they have the resources and know-how to solve any case! Feed Ryo-oh-ki
Doo a Ryo-oh-ki Snack and she transforms into the Mystery Mobile.
MOBILE SUIT TENCHI - Can Tenchi, Gundam pilot, find romance with Jion
princess Aeka? Perhaps with rogue pilot Ryoko, who flies the RX-700
"Carrot Eater Special". Guess what the "R" stands for.
PROJECT RYO-KO - A curious continuity in which Tenchi doesn't exist at
all! Instead, Ryoko and Aeka fight for the love of Sasami, who sounds
surprisingly loud and whiny...
MARRIED... WITH TENCHI - Tenchi marries Aeka and moves to suburban New
Jersey. But what will happen when his old flame, Ryoko, moves in next
door, with her wacky mom, Washuu? Ryo-oh-ki transforms into something
amusing every week.
TENCHI MU-YIPPY-YI-YO - Yee-haw! Let's saddle up with Cowboy Tenchi
as he tries to protect the Masaki Ranch from that cattle rustlin'
varmint, Cool Hand Kagato! Perhaps Mihoshi, U.S. Marshal, can help!
Ryo-oh-ki the Cowbit transforms into a pick-up truck and Washuu-chan
invents new ways to cook beef.
-----------------------------------------------
>From Ross TenEyck <teneyck@u.washington.edu>:
RYOUKO AND AYEKA - After Ryouko blows away a guy molesting Ayeka in a
parking lot, the pair goes on a harrowing cross-Japan road trip on the
run from the law. On the way, they gain deep insights into life, the
universe, and each other. The story ends when it belatedly occurs to
the girls that either one of them could take on the entire Japanese SDF
without breaking a sweat.
VAMPIRE PRINCESS SASAMI - Sasami's vampire blood awakens on her 713th
birthday, and she begins speaking entirely in cryptic poetic allusions.
Ryo-Ohki dons a mask and accompanies her as her mysterious guardian.
Sasami continues to cook for the "family," but the menu is suddenly
restricted to human blood. Rather than learn to cook for themselves,
the gang adjusts.
TENCHYLON 5 - On a station out in the depths of space, all alone in
the night, Captain Tenchi and his sidekick, Commander Kiyone, struggle
to understand the war between the First Ones that threatens to tear
apart the galaxy. It turns out that Shadow Princess Ayeka and the
Vorlon ambassador Ryoukosh are fighting over who gets to marry the
Captain.
[Addtional response to above from another post by Frank White
<fwhite@colfax.com>:]
But it'd be more fun if it was Commander Mihoshi (god help the
shipping around the station), if it were Centauri Ambassador Ayeka
slugging it out with Citizen Ryouko of the Narn, with Minbari
Ambassador Sasami and her faithful aide Ryo-ohki trying to out manuver
the Shadows, and the battle was between Tokimi's Shadows and Washuu's
Vorlons.
MARMALADE TENCHI - One day, the girls are called into Tenchi's room to
hear a stunning announcement: he and Ranma Saotome have agreed to
trade harems.
-----------------------------------------------
>From Mike Breen <mikeb@user1.channel1.com>:
THE MASAKIS OF HAZZARD - Tenchi and his cousin Nobiuki are on parole
from their whiskey running days, though they dream of one day joining
the NASCAR circut. They live with Masaki patriarch Uncle Yosho on the
Masaki farm in Hazzard county along with Cousins Ryoko, Ayeka and
Sasami. They're also constantly on the run from Sheriff Kyone P.
Coltraine, bumbling deputy Mihoshi, and "Boss" Washu. When the chase
is on, Cousin Sasami's pet transforms into Tenchi and Nobiuki's stock
car, the General Ryo-oki.
NEON GENESIS TENCHIMUYOLON - Tenchi Masaki is a reluctant 14-year-old
pilot of a giant robot defending the Earth from invasion by Angels.
Joining him on his adventures are two other pilots; Ayeka Jurainami,
quiet, subdued, and mysterious; and Ryoko Langley Soyouze, out-going,
loud, and uninhibited. Also serving to defend the Earth are Tenchi's
father, Commander Nobiuki Masaki, Captain Kyone (who takes Tenchi and
Ryoko under her wing and has a pet pen-bit named Ryo-Ryo-oki), and
scientist Dr. Washu.
THE REALLY ODD COUPLE - Neat freak Kyone Unger is tossed out of her
apartment by her husband. With nowhere to go, she moves in with her
best friend, slob Mihoshi Madison. Will they learn to live together?
Or will they drive each other insane?
SUPERDIMENTIONAL FORTRESS RYO-OKI - Only Sasami's song can save
mankind from the invading giant alien Ryokos. Singer Lynn-Sasami
and First Officer Ayeka fight for the love of fighter pilot Tenchi.
And the sequel:
RYO-OKI PLUS: Test pilots Ayeka Dyson and half-alien Ryoko Goa Boman
compete for the funding of the new fighter and the heart of handsome
record producer Tenchi. But what's the secret of Ryoko's past?
and the sequel [From Damien Roc <damienroc@aol.com>]:
RYO-OHKI 2: Tenchi is a reporter who wants to be a war correspondant.
While out one day with a real war correspondant, Nobiyuki, he finds
Ayeka, a singer for the Marduk, a strange alien Race... Tenchi can't
decide who he likes, Ayeka or Ryoko Jina, the best Valkyrie Ace that
the UN. Spacy has.
and the sequel [From Damien Roc <damienroc@aol.com>]:
Ryo-Oki 7. Tenchi starts singing, and the entire show sucks
MIHOSHI AND THE BRAIN: The misadvantures of lab mice "Brain" Washu and
Mihoshi as they try to take over the world.
SCIENCE NINJA TEAM TENCHIMAN - Eagle Tenchi, Condor Ryoko, Swan Ayeka,
Swallow Sasami, and Owl Mihoshi battle the evil Galactor and the
mysterious Berg Washu aboard their airship, the God Ryo-Oki.
-----------------------------------------------
>From J.H. <roberjr@bgnet.bgsu.edu>:
TENCHI Z: The hyper-kinetic adventures of Tenchi Masaki and his
friends!! When Kagato attacks Namek can Tenchi tap the spiritual
energy to become a Super-Saiya-Jurain? Also featuring Ryoko in the
role of Kuririn (imagine her bald) and Washu as Kamesenin!! Don't
forget the new Tenchi Z Movie!! What happens when Aeka (killed in the
last movie) returns as a Metal Cyborg? Featuring Ryo-oh-ki as the Big
Gehtti Star!!
SAINT TENCHI: The Goddess Athena has reincarnated in the body of the
young Jurain princess Sasami. Now her warriors gather to determine who
shall wear the Golden armor of Sagittarius. But in the middle of the
fight Phoenix Ryoko appears to steal the legendary armor!! Pegasus
Tenchi, Dragon Washu, Cygnus Mihoshi and Andromeda Aeka must don their
mystic armor to stop Ryoko and the re-incarnation of Ares... Kagato!!
Featuring Ryo-ok-ki as Sanctuary!!
-----------------------------------------------
>From <plainair@mindspring.com>:
TENCHI PON POKO: The Cute 'n Cuddly Ryo-oh-ki's habitat is threatened
by a land development. Matriarchal Washuu unites them against the
threat. But will their laziness and gluttony lead to inaction? Or will
they follow headstrong, young leader Ryoko into tragedy...
-----------------------------------------------
>From Anne Packrat <akane@erols.com>:
RYO-WARS - Young Jurai knight Tenchi Masaki must learn the way of the
Force and learn how to become a true knight so that he can defeat the
evil Darth Kagato and the ultimate weapon: the DEATH SOUJA!
First movie - Tenchi must escape his home planet of Terratooine with
his master Yosho Wan Kinobi. They find unlikely help in the form of
smuggler Hans Ryoko, and her trusty ship, Millenium Ryo-ohki. Directed
by the smart and sensible bot C3PKiyone and the stupid yet brave bot,
R2Mihoshi2. Together these intrepid adventurers rescue Princess Aeka
from the clutches of Darth Kagato.
-----------------------------------------------
>From Wei-Hwa Huang <whuang@ugcs.caltech.edu>:
THE TENCHIANA JONES TRILOGY:
Part 1: Juraiders of a Lost Art
Famous archeologist Tenchiana Jones searches for the location to a
five-thousand-year-old cave supposedly containing the mummified
remains to an ancient demon. To help him, he looks up his old
girlfriend Ryoko, whose family has had some connection with the
cave, including an ancient medallion with three embedded gems.
Traveling to the Middle East and enlisting the help of dark-skinned
Mihoshi, they attempt to avoid Kagato and his Nazi minions.
Part 2: Tenchiana Jones and the Shrine of Doom
Haughty singer Ayeka is dragged unwillingly into a second adventure
of Tenchiana Jones, along with enthusiastic sidekick Sasami. This
time, the trio uncover a secret society of underground
worshippers, who worship the great god Ryo-oh-ki.
Part 3: Tenchiana Jones and the Lost Crusades
Tenchiana Jones helps his father Yosho in a search for the Holy Grail.
This movie features the return of Mihoshi and also a prominent part
for Tenchiana's colleague Professor Kiyone, whom we only saw a bit of
in the first movie. (The repartee between the two is priceless.)
Also in this movie is the mysterious but intelligent woman Washuu,
who also appears to seek the Grail. Is she friend or foe?
-----------------------------------------------
>From Jesse Chang <pxc131@psu.edu>
THE CALL OF WASHULU: Intrepid explorer Tenchi Masaki and his band of
stalwart allies discover a secret passage deep beneath the Masaki
Catacombs. While searching the dank and ryo-ohki infested tunnels,
they come across slumbering form of dread Washulu. To their horror,
she awakens from her eon-long slumber and insists on being referred to
as "Washulu-chan".
"Loathsome Washulu rose then from the deeps and raged with exceeding
great fury against the Juraians. And They bound her venomous claws
with potent spells and sealed her up beneath the Masaki Shrine wherein
she shall sleep death's dream until the end of the Aeon".
"I'm not only an Elder God, but I'm cute too!"
- Washulu
-----------------------------------------------
>From Rob <rob@studio.watertower.com>
MIHOSHI'S ISLAND
Follow the hysterical antics of seven island castaways. With
Mihoshi as ... Oh, YOU know, Kiyome as the Skipper, Ryoko as the Movie
Star, Sasami as Mary Ann, Washu as the Professor, Tenchi as the
Millionaire, Ayeka as his Fiancee who argues with the Movie Star ALL the
time, and a constantly drunk on carrot brandy Ryo-ohki as the Wreck of
the Minnow. ((Drunk? Wreck? get it? Heheheheheheheh!))
-----------------------------------------------
>From David Goodwin <ksg1-2@mail.idt.net>:
<clears throat>
Here's my little rejected Tenchi alternte universe...
"In the not too distant future, next Sunday AD
There was a guy named Tenchi, not too different from you or me.
He had several girls running after him
And we wondered; god, who was gonna win?
We might never have found the answer to this case
But Miss Washuu had to know, and shot 'em into space!"
<<Tenchi: Help, someone please! Ryo-ohki: Meeoowww!>>
Washuu: I'll send him cheesy movies
The most rubbery I can find.
He'll have to sit and watch 'em all
while the girls occupy his mind!
Now, keep in mind he can't control
when the movies begin or end!
Because he used those special parts
to ward off his female friends!
<vrrooom....women roll call!>
Ayeka! <Flirting? Never!>
Ryoko! <Tenchiiiiiiiiii??? Where areee youuuu?>
Sasami! <Stop it you two!>
Mihooooooshi! <Waaaaahhhh!>
If you're wondering how he eats and breaths
and other science facts,
Then repeat to yourself "This is just a weird Japanese show
I should really just relax."
For MYSTERY TENCHI THEATRE, 3000!
<TWAAANNNG>
-----------------------------------------------
>From Damien Roc <damienroc@aol.com>
TEENAGE MUTANT RYO-OKI's
(ARRGH!!! that was bad.)