On 7/9/97 6:31 PM, G.L.Sandborn/Uncle Fester at sandborn@microlink.net 
wrote:

(Yes, it's taken me this long to get to this reply. Long week, lotta 
stuff backed up.)

At 06:16 PM 7/9/97 +1000, you wrote:

On my holiday in the land of Kulture, hand guns and religious extremists,
all of whom drive on the wrong side of the road, I had the dubious
pleasure of being shown to one of America's many attempts to cultivate
'culture', in this case the imitation of my own country's eating
refinements.

       In all fairness, Travis *did* take him out to get some good
Kansas City BBQ the night before - right after the 43rd bookstore, 
the Plaza (with its open sewer creek), and the giant shuttlecocks
on the lawn of the Nelson-Atkins Art Museam.  (Now *that's* culture,
mate.)

Heh. You should have seen the giant badminton racket he, ah, 'borrowed' 
from Jimbo. (Texans make *everything* bigger; didn't you know that? ^_^) 
Fortunately, the police came along before he could get *too* involved, 
and explanations to them proved much easier to handle. His accent helped, 
of course. And really, we didn't disrupt the wedding preparations *too* 
badly...

Now, the American accent sounds to the ears of Aussies' as being very
nasal, drawling and above all, *grating*.  Americans trying to do an
Australian accent is... is... lets just leave it as akin to blackboards
and fingernails.  Travis and Greg took almost unholy pleasure in telling
the waitress, who I must say was cute *grin*, that she was dealing with a
True-Blue Aussie with an amusing outlook on life ;).

       Knock it off, Bruce.  She was 16 and you kept asking if she
ever did it 'down-under'.  The local police are still looking for
you.  It's okay.  I told them Travis arranged the whole thing.

It didn't go too badly, I must say; I just directed them to compare notes 
with their KCMO counterparts. ;>

And really, it's annoying to see you attempt to drag all those... ahem... 
connotations into it. *He* certainly wasn't the one who offered to dance 
the Watusi on the table in return for a case of Fosters. *Him* I can take 
out in public. :)

'The Outback Special' wasn't too bad, being a medium size steak.
'Victoria's Filet' is, for some reason, a small sized tenderloin steak.
'The Melbourne' is also a steak, a rather large one, which puzzled me as
Melbourne isn't a cattle town.  Rockhampton is though, so a dish called
the 'Rockhampton Rib-Eye' is apt.

My home town of Brisbane has something along the lines of a 'Brisbane
Shrimp Saute'' and a 'Brisbane Caesar Salad'.  New South Wales is saddled
with 'Botany Bay Fish O'The Day'... it fits, just.  For those who follow
politics, the 'Prime Minister's Prime Rib' is rather funny given its size
and our current PM.

What really made me laugh, was not the 'Mad Max' n or 'Sweet Chook O'Mine'
nor even 'Bloomin'Onion' (An Outback Ab-original), but a dessert named
'Chocolate Thunder From Down Under' being a pecan brownie, rich vanilla
ice cream topped with hot homemade chocolate saude and chocolate shavings.

Picture the latter in your mind.  Now, Australian residences of 40years
ago and/or no town sewerage have something called the 'Thunderbox', or in
other words, an outside toilet.

       Known as an 'outhouse' here in Kansas.  We still use em too.

Heh. Of course, certain other references become rather amusing in that 
light... Er, Kuno isn't reading this, is he?

Greg in person is .. a respectable American.  Travis in person is... an
interesting character.  Both of these statements could be expanded upon,
but not at this time ;)

       [Greg cocking his HK91 and leveling it at Kergma-san]  Aw, go
ahead, sport.  Tell the nice folks.  My Aussie-English dictionary
describes a 'Respectable American' as 'armed, crazy, and drunk most of
the time.'  I won't tell you what it says about an 'interesting character'.

Gee, how nice it is not to be 'respectable'. :) As far as 'interesting' 
goes... yes, I know of the ancient Chinese curse. What's to say? ^_^

       It's okay.  The wife and I went back there for dinner the other
night and told her you're 30, married to someone named 'Kun-chan', and
have three kids.

Hmmm. Well, one out of three isn't bad...



Travis Butler
(The Professor, formerly of Myth and Magick!, Lawrence, KS;
 tbutler@tfs.net, now from the Wandering Powerbook;
 <http://www.tfs.net/personal/tbutler/>;
 Mac page <http://www.tfs.net/business/tbutler/>)

...Hello. I'm afraid I'm not sapient right now, but if you'll leave a 
message I'll get back to you when I reach a higher evolutionary plane. 
Thank you.