Alpha Centauri wrote:

Kergma wrote:

On my holiday in the land of Kulture, hand guns and religious extremists,
all of whom drive on the wrong side of the road, I had the dubious
pleasure of being shown to one of America's many attempts to cultivate
'culture', in this case the imitation of my own country's eating
refinements.

You think that's scary, just wait until you see Americans try and
imitate Canadians. You either get Lumberjacks with bad french accents or
boy-scout Mounties. Brr!

	Just be thankful they don't try to imitate our *dear* Prime
Minister, Jean "I mangle both official languages of Canada equally" 
Chretien... 

	*shudder*

Pardon me for a second while I watch an episode of Barney while eating
a frozen meal prepared by C-ko, I need to get that thought out of my head.

Unfortunately, I had forgotten to bring over some *real* beer so my
planned 'XXXX.  Its Australian for beer, for when you can't spell Beer'
bit did not happen.  I'll send you some when I get back to Australia Greg.

FYI, 'Fosters' as Americans know it is not 'Fosters' as it should be.  For
one thing, its brewed in Canada.

Yes. You see, Canadian beer is actually a plot by Canada to mind control
the United States. Everybody in the country is in on it, because
naturally we all know each other (When Canadian act annoyed when someone
asks if they know someone from the other side of Canada, its just that,
an act. We really DO all know each other). One of our early experiments
resulted in Dan Quayle becoming Vice-President (We wanted to see if we
could make the Americans accept a complete MORON as VP. Of course, then
we had to make sure nothing happened to Bush). Mike Tyson is an
unfortunate side-effect of one of our experiments, as is Michael
Jackson.

So you see, Canadian beer is actually a plot to take over the world!
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Flashing red lights start strobing and sirens start to howl around
Prime.  Suddenly, The Apprentice arrives in all his unimpressive unglory.
For some reason any observer would think that he's somewhat out of sorts.
Maybe it's the blood tinted foam around his mouth, and the fact that he's
red as a beet.  And the fact that he's screaming at the top of his lungs 
might be a hint too :-s

"Stimpy, you Iiidioooot!  Do you know how many years your one post may have
put us back!  First the Americans learn we're training our comedians to weaken
them from within and now you reveal the secret of our beer!"  Slight pause for
enraged hopping back and forth and the removal of several clumps of hair and
scalp.  "There's too many people on the list to Clean it completely, and they
produce Lemons that will help us destroy them from within, damn it!  And it's
not like they're going to forget about it!  Forget... of course!"

Suddenly The Apprentice stops ranting and raving and starts to pull things out
of his pockets.  A pile of various odds and ends start to conceal his black
slacks, not the least of which are his wallet, some chewing gum wrappers, a 
booklet with the title "Welcome to NERV" and a squirtgun filled with Fadeaway.
Finally, after palming a small black item, The Apprentice turns to face all
the non-Canadian members of the FFML.  With a used-car salesman smile he 
addresses said members.

"Ladies, Gentlemen and the gender challenged, I would like to issue a statement
on behalf of our nation in the Great White North..."  The last thing the
non-Canadians see is a bright red light eminating from the black item in his
hand, "Forget all about this.  Thank you."

Opening a subspace hole to shove all the kipple into, he then Grabs Prime by
the ear and starts to drag him.  "All right, you young whipper-snipper we're
going to have a Looonnng talk on Operational Security.  Then you're going to
destroy all the notes, gene samples, tapes, discs, Tarot decks and dice used
in Project G.E.N.O.M.  All of it!  Everything on how we created Quayle, Tyson,
Michael Jackson, Pee Wee Herman, Andrew Dice Clay... All of them!"

"And if you ever do this again sonny I'll personally see to it that you're
forced to watch, consecutively, every Brady Bunch episode known to exist.  
Followed by the Brady Bunch movie.  *Then* we'll put you're mind into
Ranma's body the next time Akane cooks a 10 course meal for everyone!"


 - Activate Post-Overwrite Goto V6.68 -

As for how the Sailor Scouts could be killed that depends on whether, in your
fic, the youma will actually act like they have more than three working 
braincells between all the flonqing race.  If you think that they actually
have individual, working brains then I'd recommend one of the following:

	- Youma Wave Attack:  If you've got the cannon-folder to spare, and
you don't give a frag what happens to your soldiers than "Quantity beats 
Quality" may be for you.
	- PsyOps:  There's a lot of psychological methods of reducing their
combat effectiveness.  Encourage the strife between Sailor Moon and Sailor
Mars.  Venus could perhaps be encouraged into overconfidence due to her
longer, solo career.  Jupiter could be convinced that the other Sailors,
particularly Sailor Moon are in danger; this may lead her to miscalculate.

Assuming that you'll decide that, yes, they are brain-dead then I'd like to
add these ideas to the 'how to kill' list:
	
	Mars - A Youma that is immune to flames.  She'll still have her
abilities as a priestest, but if the youma can get in a few good shots
before she recovers from the surprise...
	Jupiter - A energy absorber/rechanneler.  Use her own energy against
her, or even better against the other scouts.  With any luck she'll try to
overload your youma and either kill herself or weaken herself greatly.
	Venus - Close in attacks would seem to be your best bet here.  Perhaps
a Youma that could 'Phase' so her energy attacks and chain attacks would not
affect it?
	Moon - Probability Altering abilities may be your best bet here.
Somehow, no matter how much she fumbles it, it all seems to work out in the end,
so energy attacks, physical attacks and even mental attacks may work in the
short term but not the long term.

*Note to Self:  Send Will Smith a thank you note and a six-pack*

See Ma, no Spam!,  

-- 
The Apprentice:

        Student of the Dark Side.  Keeper of the Vlad `Assassins are People
Too!' Taltos shrine.  Wage slave at the J-C Corporation.

Darkness is the true state of the Universe.  It existed before the Light
came.  It will exist after the Light is gone.