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Nerima Blues
by rpm
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It was late.  Very late.  It was the kind of late that inspired people
to do some deep and serious introspection that they would definitely 
regret later.  At the moment, several people in Nerima were doing just 
that in Ucchan's Okonomiyaki.  They were seated about in various places 
and fairly overdressed.  The men, Ryoga and Tatewaki, were clad in 
tuxedos, while the ladies, Kodachi and Ukyo were in gowns and Shampoo 
in a rather elegant looking Chinese dress. 

Nobody was in a good mood.

"It was... nicely done," droned Ukyo.  She was behind her grill, as
usual, but this night nothing was cooking.  Instead, she sat there
looking at a half-empty glass of soda.

"Yeah, it was," said Ryoga, leaning on the doorway and looking out
into the darkness of the street.

"Was... very very quick," said Shampoo quietly, resting her head on
the counter.  She had her own half-empty glass to stare at.

"Verily, swifter than the wind," muttered Kuno.  He sighed and gazed
out of the window by his seat and briefly considered opening it.

There was a deathly silence.

"It was nice of his mom to invite us all," said Ukyo.

"A noble gesture, that," said Kodachi.  She gave a small laugh,
although it didn't sound at all like her usual laugh.  This one was
tainted with melancholy, quiet and brief.

Ryoga seemed to shake for a moment and his fist clenched.

"Was nice gift Ryoga give," observed Shampoo, rolling her head
slightly on the table.  "Where get it?"

"Hell, I dunno.  Somewhere out there."  He kicked a passing dust
bunny carelessly.

"Oh."  Shampoo sighed and covered her head with her arms.

The second Great Deathly Silence hit that night.  Ukyo took that
moment to finish her drink and refill her glass.  Silently, Shampoo
handed her glass over and Ukyo refilled that as well.

"Hey, where's Mousse?" asked Ryoga.

Shampoo scowled.  "He back at Nekohanten.  Hold big kareoke party
because he very very happy today."

***

The music was loud.  The crowd was energetic.

And Mousse?

He was singing his heart out.

o/" Ceeeeeeeeeeeee-le-bra-tion time COME ON! o/"

***

"Well, I guess he should be happy," said Ryoga numbly.

Shampoo shot a cold glare at him.  "And why that, pig-boy?"

Ryoga ignored the insult.  "Well, nothing's in his way now."

Shampoo defiantly hmphed.  "Will be cold day in hell before Mousse get
Shampoo."

Ryoga looked around.  "Hey, where's... where's... what's her name?"

"Who?" wondered Ukyo.

"That girl that works as your waitress... Kouma?  Keiko?"

"Konatsu," said Ukyo.  "And she's a he, remember?"

"Oh, yeah, I forgot," replied Ryoga, scratching the back of his head.
"Really looks like a woman, he does.  Where is he anyways?"

Ukyo sighed.  "Well... I had a talk with him, and..."

***

o/" Well I guess what they say is true o/"
o/" I could never be the right kind of girl for you o/"
o/" I could never be your woman o/"
o/" Oh I could never be your woman o/"

Mousse was impressed.  Konatsu really did imitate a woman well.  He
even sang like one. 

***

"Was there not another male of feminine guise that courted you,
Kuonji?" asked Tatewaki.

"Yeah.  Tsubasa."

"Haven't seem him in a while either," said Ryoga.

"Well," replied Ukyo, "I had a talk with him too and..."

***

o/" I could never be your woman... o/"

***

Time passed like greasy food through a man's digestive system.  It
made everyone feel queasy, have a loss of appetite, and generally
sluggish.

"Well... where do we go from here?" asked Ryoga.

"Where indeed?"  Kuno stood up and opened the window by his table.
"The moon shines brightly tonight, but not upon the Blue Thunder. 
Wherefor art thou, love?  Your gentle, soothing touch is denied to me
twofold, as my loves are now clearly gone from my reach."

"You MORONS!" yelled Ukyo.  She flung a spatula at Ryoga's head,
narrowly missing him.  "YOU still got Akari, don'cha?!"

***

Akari's sleep was restless.  She hadn't seen Ryoga for weeks.  She
accepted him, all of him, even his pathetic sense of direction, but
there were some _nights_ where she felt far too lonely.

"Oh... Ryoga-sama..."

***

"And YOU, Blue Blunder," said Ukyo, shooting Kuno a mean glare, "you've
got that girl Mariko after you, right?"

***

Needless to say, female feelings of lonliness weren't uncommon on this
night.

"K... U... N... O.... Kuno-samaaaa...."

***

"If anyone should be moping about lost opportunities, it's me,
Kodachi, and Shampoo!" finished Ukyo.  The other two girls nodded
solemnly.

Ryoga and Kuno had enough grace to look embarrassed for a moment.

"But... well... I'm lucky to have Akari, I guess," said Ryoga.  "I
thank the Kami that I met her.  But... I loved Akane.  I really did."

"Forgive us, fair ladies, if we seem selfish in our cries, but we have
reason," said Kuno.  "The Lady Mariko does touch my heart but it
lessens not the sense of loss I feel in my heart.  When one loves and
loses, sadness can not be avoided." 

Moment of silence #3 came upon the group.

Kodachi looked up at the clock.  "The hour is late."

"Not late enough for Shampoo," said the Amazon.  "Mousse still at
Nekohanten waiting to bother Shampoo.  No want to go home yet."

"I wonder," mumbled Ryoga, "I wonder... how they're doing."

***

"Oh... oooooh RANMAAAAAA!"

"AKANEEEE!"

***

Ukyo shuddered.  "I don't wanna think about it."  

She tossed her glass carelessly to the backroom and had a look around. 
What she saw struck her as remarkably pathetic.  Ryoga was still by
the door, now dabbing his eyes a bit with a bandanna.  Kuno was
yanking petals out of a rose.  Kodachi mindlessly twirled her ribbon. 
Shampoo looked like she might be asleep at the counter.  Good thing
the grill was off, else her face might've been fried. 

"THAT'S IT!  I can't take it anymore!"  She stomped around the room,
nudged Shampoo awake, and marched towards the door.

"Hey, what're you doing?" asked Ryoga.

"I'll be damned if I'm gonna sit here all night and mope!" yelled
Ukyo.  "C'mon, guys, this is pathetic!  Let's get outta here."

"And, pray tell, where do we go from here?" asked Kodachi.

"Hell, I don't know.  There's clubs out there to dance in.  There's
beaches to swim in.  I think there's a Jackie Chan film festival out
there waiting for us.  Let's go!"

Everyone glanced at each other.

"Well, got nothing better to do," said Ryoga.

"I'm inclined to agree," said Kodachi.

"Anything to not see duck-boy," mumbled Shampoo.

And so, five really grumpy individuals hit the town.  Several hours
later, they destroyed it.

-end-

characters created/owned by R.Takahashi