Okay, I've taken care of some slight spelling and punctuation errors,
tightened up some of the wordiness, and expanded the last 1/3 of the
story to explore more of the thoughts in Yuka's mind. Thanks go out to
everyone who helped with C&C, and even more thanks to those who had so
many kind words about my debut fanfic effort.

Presumably, this is the final version, but no work of art is ever
truly final, as George Lucas demonstrated by, ah, "improving" his Star
Wars movies. So, feel free to let me know if you spot any errors I
haven't fixed, and I will rectify the problem.

This story is also available on my webpage, with some illustrations I
added.I'd be flattered if you'd check it out at: 

http://www.geocities.com/CollegePark/Quad/4831/procras01.html

+++++++++

Procrastination 

A Ranma 1/2 fanfic 
by Jeremy Parish 
(ejp95w@timon.acu.edu)

+++++++++

"Yuka! Wait up!"

Hearing my name shouted across the schoolyard, I stopped short of the
main gates of Furinkan High School. Seeing me pause, my friend Sayuri
stopped too.

We turned around to see Akane Tendo running toward us. She crossed the
yard in no time flat, making me feel a little envious. After all,
Akane is about the most gorgeous girl at Furinkan High, and definitely
the most athletic. All the guys love her. So seeing her run so swiftly
and effortlessly tends to inspire a bit of jealousy from the other
girls... mainly because it inspires a bit of attention from the guys.
No one has the right to be that attractive AND that talented. And
she's also really good at her schoolwork. Not as good as me, but most
students at Furinkan High School aren't.

That didn't sound very modest, did it? Oh well... must be
Upperclassman Kuno's influence.

She cleared the yard in a few seconds, and she wasn't even breathing
hard. Or sweating. I love Akane to death, but sometimes that little
twinge of envy hits me. Not much. But a little. Luckily, it's small
enough to hide.

"Hey guys! Can I walk home with you?" Akane tucked her school bag
under her arm and ran a hand through her hair as if trying to tame
misplaced strands or something, which was a bit unnecessary.

I smiled at her. "Okay, Akane. But there's only one condition." I
winked at Sayuri, who gave me a conspiratorial look. Akane looked
taken aback.

"What's that?" she asked, confused and a bit wary. Knowing her sister
Nabiki, I can understand why Akane might be cautious of anyone making
conditional statements. 

"Well," Sayuri piped in, speaking in an overly dramatic tone, "we
could tell you... but if you didn't agree to our conditions, we'd have
to kill you."

Akane played along gamely. "You'll never make me talk!" she said
seriously. She closed her eyes and stood bravely at attention.

A smile tugged at the corner of my lips. I wanted to play along for a
little longer, but I couldn't help it - I had to smile. I smile a lot.
Some people say I smile too much, and maybe I do. Or maybe it just
seems unusual for someone to be sincerely happy around here.

Akane saw my grin and couldn't help but let one of her own play across
her features. The three of us started laughing as we began to move out
the gates to make way for other students. For a minute, I could see us
as we were years ago when we first became friends in grade school.
Just three little girls, not a care in the world. It was nice to see
Akane smile - she had taken to scowling a lot ever since we got to
high school. It was even nicer to see Sayuri laughing, putting her
cares behind her. Recently, I had been wondering if that girl would
ever smile again - she must have been having a good day, for once.

As our laughter faded I hopped in front of Akane and Sayuri and
grabbed their arms, walking backwards and dragging my friends as we
headed toward the Tendo Dojo. "O.K., Akane, here's the deal. Tonight
is girl's night out and YOU have to come with us!"

"Yeah, we're gonna see a movie and hit the new fast food place and eat
fattening food and gossip!" Sayuri added drolly. "Come on, Akane,
you've gotta go!"

Akane's smile grew. "Great! I'd lo-"

Her face fell. I could almost hear a discouraging thought rattling
around inside of her head. She looked down at the ground and bit her
lip. The three of us walked in silence for a minute - I kept looking
over my shoulder as I was still walking backward and didn't want to
walk into a lightpost or anything - as Akane waged some unknown battle
in her head.

When she looked back up, her eyes met mine with less light behind them
than before. "I don't think I can, guys. I've - um, there's something
big happening tomorrow and I've, uh, gotta prepare for it tonight."

I was disappointed, but tried to hide it behind a friendly taunt.
"Oooh! It doesn't have to do with RAN-ma does it?" I said in my most
obnoxious singsong. Like all of Akane's friends, I had had long ago
discovered the best way to annoy her was to mention her fiance.

Fiance! Akane has a fiance. Even after 3 months, it seems weird.

The fire that sparked in her eyes was answer enough. Her jaw set
firmly for just a brief instant before she wiped her face free of
expression and said, "Of course not. Why should I care about ANYthing
that JERK DOES?!" she said with increasing forcefulness. Embarrassed,
she realized her tone had betrayed her. "Um..."

I felt immediately sorry for teasing her and released my grip on both
her and Sayuri, falling back into stride with the two of them.
Obviously she was upset about something. I didn't mean to remind her
of whatever anger she held for Ranma - I was just trying to get her to
join us tonight. I fell back into place at Akane's side, opposite
Sayuri.

Sayuri looked sad. "What happened now, Akane?" she asked quietly,
turning her face toward Akane and tilting her head inquisitively.

Akane looked at the sidewalk - probably to avoid making eye contact
with us. "Nothing," she mumbled and bit her lip again. I glanced at
Sayuri and she held my gaze. We exchanged a look of silent agreement
not to press her for details. With an almost imperceptible nod, I
looked back at Akane, who perked up again, having pasted a false smile
on her face while we looked away.

"But who cares about that idiot? I'm going to see a movie tonight!"
she said.

I clapped her on the shoulder with a grin and Sayuri made an
exclamation of happiness. Seeing our positive reaction, Akane's smile
warmed up a bit and even spread to her eyes. But it couldn't totally
hide the disappointment in her heart.

Ranma. What a jerk.

+++++++++

Now, before anyone flies off the handle about my criticism of Ranma,
let me qualify what I've said. Personally, I like Ranma. He's a sweet
guy, very skillful at martial arts and VERY good looking. He's also a
bit slow when it comes to interpersonal relationships, knows nothing
whatsoever about tact, and is sometimes shockingly one-dimensional and
arrogant. Still, he's always been nothing but nice to me and my
friends. Except to Akane, of course. But then, she can have a pretty
short fuse at times - you kinda have to wonder who provokes whom.
Between his mouth and her temper, I sometimes feel like they're the
world's worst mismatch.

But then at other times they seem so RIGHT for each other. Despite
their antagonism, they have some sort of bond. They'd never admit it,
but I think they're pretty sweet on each other. I've seen Ranma do
nice things for Akane, and I've seen her sidelong glances during
class. I've seen him get totally flustered - blushing, stammering and
scratching the back of his head - when she's, as he puts it, cute.
It's times like those, when I can tell the best-looking guy at school
has a crush on the best-looking girl, that I'm jealous of Akane.

Okay, not jealous. Jealous is when Akane punches the snot out of Ranma
for letting that obnoxious Chinese girl, Shampoo, hang all over him. I
guess I'm just envious.

But he's a jerk, sometimes. Those are the times when I don't envy
Akane at all. Times like the situation Akane was dealing with when we
invited her to the movie.

Apparently, someone had laid down a challenge to Akane's father to
claim his dojo. That's pretty serious stuff for martial arts folks
like Akane and Ranma, who actually understand honor, bushido, giri,
and all those other words from the samurai flicks. And so the two were
going to face this dojo destroyer for the honor of their martial arts
school.

That's another reason I think they're so good for each other - they
rock at martial arts. Akane can beat anyone at this school, even
Upperclassman Kuno, who is pretty darned good. In fact, the only
person she can't beat is Ranma. Frankly, I don't know if ANYONE can
beat Ranma. I mean, I guess someone out there could - he's not
perfect. But I haven't seen him lose a fight yet.

The guy is just sixteen years old - he must have spent his whole life
training to be as good as he is.

Normally, with their skills, this dojo destroyer thing wouldn't have
been a problem. Akane would face off against him and Ranma would help
if need be. Unfortunately, that wouldn't happen this time. It seemed
Akane would have to face the destroyer alone because that Chinese
girl, Shampoo, had taken this as an opportunity to manipulate Ranma
into a date, set for the exact time that the duel was supposed to be.
An unusual coincidence, to be sure.

Shampoo... what an irritating person. I know Akane hates her, and
Ranma doesn't seem to enjoy her company much either, unless he's
sponging free food off of her. She's so dense and insistent. I don't
know why Ranma doesn't just tell her to shove off. I don't know why
Akane puts up with Ranma's waffling, either, but what the heck - it's
their lives. Certainly I'm in no position to tell them what to do,
even if it does make me sad to see my friend so frustrated about the
whole situation.

Too bad Shampoo couldn't live up to her namesake - we could get her
out of our hair with a lather, rinse, repeat.

But this kind of weird timing seems to be par for the course since
Ranma got here. Maybe the whole thing really was just a coincidence.
Coincidence has been the rule of the day around here ever since the
first time Ranma disappeared to be replaced - coincidentally - by a
red-haired girl with his exact hairstyle and clothes. Of course, most
of us caught on, after a few transformations, to the nature of Ranma's
secret. Some of us, though - well, specifically Upperclassman Kuno -
still haven't figured out the relationship between Ranma and the
pig-tailed girl with Chinese clothes. You've kinda got to feel sorry
for anyone that dense, although I suppose it's not too hard to
understand why someone would be a little slow to realize that Ranma
and his female look-alike are actually one and the same. Curses and
magical transformations are supposed to be stuff of kid's stories and
cartoons, not part of my high school career.

But there's Ranma, the cutest guy at school... and the cutest girl.
Poor Akane.

Actually, Ranma as a girl is physically attractive but has to be the
least feminine person I have ever seen in my life. Not cute at all. I
suppose that's good for him, though. If he was demure and maidenly I
think Akane would kill him. Or she'd kill her father for getting her
engaged to him.

Anyway, that's the whole deal with this dojo destroyer problem. Ranma
was supposed to help Akane defend her family's honor, but Shampoo
showed up in the middle of gym class and told Ranma she could help him
stay male forever with some magical powder she had. To demonstrate,
she turned a dog into a man. That was, well, pretty unusual, and not
something you normally see in gym class. I mean, a lot of weird things
happen around here, but this was impressive, even for Furinkan High
School.

So of course Ranma bought it, hook, line and sinker. And I can't blame
him. If I turned into a boy when I got wet, I'd do just about anything
to undo my curse. Still, it was pretty insensitive to accept a date
with Shampoo at the exact time he was supposed to stand with Akane for
the honor of her family. But Ranma being Ranma, he was more than happy
to ditch Akane and accept Shampoo's conditions - that is, he'd go out
on a date with her in return for the Nanni-whatsit powder that Shampoo
had.

All this was exchanged during gym class, although no one else really
understood what they were talking about. It was very confusing,
especially with Akane's father in the gym bawling his eyes out. Poor
Akane.

Anyway, all anyone knew was that Shampoo crashed into class, turned a
dog into a boy, and Akane got mad at Ranma. Besides the dog, pretty
much par for the course. I didn't know anything else myself until
later in the evening when Sayuri and I met with Akane for the movie.

+++++++++

We had separated at the Tendo Dojo, which was more or less the
centerpoint between my house and Sayuri's, and we had each headed
toward our respective homes. For a minute I was tempted to walk the
other direction with Sayuri to her house, but I decided that it would
be better for me to let both of them be for now. I keep saying poor
Akane, but believe me, Sayuri deserves just as much sympathy as Akane,
if not more. Actually, Akane's problems would probably go away if
everyone just sat down and talked - Sayuri has no such assurance.

But, you can't accomplish too much by belaboring the point. So I went
home, alone. We planned to meet soon enough. Maybe after the movie we
could all have a nice talk and try to resolve some things. Frankly, I
was dying to figure out what was eating Akane, and to see how Sayuri
was coping, but... like I said, I didn't want to push it.

I got home a few minutes later and let myself in. My parents hadn't
gotten back from work, of course, and my older brother was probably at
baseball practice. I checked the mail - nothing for me. Another
typical day. Boring.

I dropped onto the couch and hefted the remote, seeking something to
waste my time. It was a weekend, so I didn't have any homework due the
next day. I had homework for Monday, but I am a big fan of
procrastination. Besides, after spending five days doing nothing but
schoolwork, I wanted to make the most of my free time. Or watch TV.
Not exactly the most productive use of my day, but, oh well.

Of course there was nothing on. Even in a big city like Tokyo,
television choices are pretty limited and, like TV anywhere, really
shallow. Swallowing my pride, I decided to veg out and watch a sitcom
rerun.

I always lose track of time when I watch TV, and sure enough, this
instance was no different. Before I knew it, it was 6:30. My family
arrived and started their weekends as well. First my brother came in,
sweaty and tired from hours of baseball. I smiled at him and welcomed
him home, a greeting to which he grunted and trudged to the washroom.
Such a social being, my brother.

Soon afterward, my parents came home, my mother from her job at a
nearby library and my father from his teaching job at the University.
We exchanged some customary greetings and my mother disappeared into
the kitchen while my father disappeared into his study to work.

I got up from my seat and walked toward the kitchen. "Mother," I
called. "Yes, Yuka?" she replied. I could hear the sound of her knife
against the chopping board.

"You don't need to fix me dinner this evening. I'll be eating with
some friends."

A moment of silence. As the hush dragged on, I began to worry a bit.
It wasn't unusual for me to spend my mealtime with friends, so I
didn't expect her to be upset, but you never know. Sometimes parents
can be so unpredicatable.

Finally she called back, "Alright, Yuka, but don't be out too late."

"I'll call if I need to," I replied and headed for the door.

I don't mean to give the impression that I don't like my family.
That's not the case at all. I love my family, and I appreciate all my
parents do to provide for me and my brother. Sometimes, though, I'm
envious of Akane's family. Despite her mother being gone, Akane lives
in a very full, loving environment. Her father runs a business from
his home - or rather his home (his dojo) IS his business. Mr. Tendo is
always around to be with Akane, and even though he can do some
embarrassing or stupid things (like engage her to Ranma), she still
loves him. And she's so close to her sisters, Nabiki and Kasumi. Well,
as much as anyone can be close to Nabiki. She does an even better job
of sealing away her true self than me. Kasumi, on the other hand, is a
delight - the nicest, most even-tempered person on earth. She holds
the Tendo family together, and has ever since their mother died. My
family just isn't that close; our only time together is at meals. But
maybe we're more of a normal Japanese family, if normal is the status
quo. Akane's family seems so close and so laid back, and they actually
have property in suburban Tokyo! Far more than my family, that's for
sure. I can't help but be a little envious.

There I go again. You'd think that I'm developing some kind of Akane
fixation. Not that I'd be the only one at school with that particular
affliction. Maybe it's contagious or something.

I stepped outside, noticing that the air was becoming increasingly
chilly as we got closer and closer to winter. Fortunately tonight
wouldn't be too cold, and I was wearing a sweater. I decided I would
be comfortable and took off for the Tendo Dojo.

As I walked, I couldn't help but think about the various problems that
Akane and Sayuri were facing. I was certainly thankful that my life
was devoid of similar complications. Namely, it was devoid of
interesting boys. It seems everyone I know is either single or
involved with someone "interesting," and frankly, I'm happy to be
single. Men seem to be causing entirely too much unhappiness and pain
for my taste. Maybe we should exterminate them or something.

Not that I'm a man-hater or anything. I don't hate men, I just can't
stand to see my friends opening up to someone else and having that
person insensitively throw it back in their face. For what it's worth,
I've known plenty of girls who have put men through the ringer.
Nobody's perfect, I guess, which is why I'm single. I'm holding out
for that perfect someone. A bit unrealistic, to be sure, but it's kept
me from being hurt like my friends.

Like I said earlier, Ranma's really a pretty sweet guy. Most guys I
know are so disgustingly perverted. All they want out of a
relationship is a quick thrill. They'll treat a girl really well,
acting very romantic; but in the final analysis, a girl who won't put
out gets left behind. Ranma's not like that at all. In fact, I don't
think he and Akane have even kissed once, besides that time Ranma
thought he was a cat. He seems intimidated by women, in fact, although
that probably has something to do with the way his father reared him.
Not only does he have Akane (who doesn't actively pursue him), Shampoo
and Upperclassman Kuno's sister Kodachi (who do), but most of the
female population of Furinkan High School would be after him if they
didn't have to go through Akane first. It seems strange that someone
so awkward with women would be so popular with them. Maybe, just
maybe, that's why they like him.

I know Akane gets frustrated about all the girls who are after him,
but she knows inside that Ranma is an honorable person and won't cheat
on her. Frankly, I think Kuno's sister and that Chinese girl would be
happier if Ranma was a total playboy. But he's a good, honorable guy.
Of course that has its down side as well - I think sometimes Akane
worries that Ranma's sense of honor is the only reason he accepts
their engagement. Not that she's ever told me this, but I can tell
that the act she puts on about their engagement being forced upon them
is usually just that: an act. Ranma I can't read as well, but I don't
think he's too upset to be engaged to Akane. If he's is, he'd be the
only guy on earth who would be.

Personally, I think it's hilarious that there are guys who want a
cheap, shallow thrill but can't get one because all the girls are
pining away for Ranma, who could have just about any girlfriend he
wanted but frankly doesn't care. I call it poetic justice.

But still, Ranma's niceness doesn't change the fact that he's
basically thoughtless and uncultured. I've heard he spent the past ten
years of his life travelling with his father - no companionship
besides his old man. If that's true, I'm surprised he's turned out as
well as he has, considering his father. But the time he's spent away
from other people has failed to instill within him any sort of manners
or tact. In this overwhelmingly polite society, he's like a sore
thumb. It's kind of funny sometimes, because he's not afraid to tell
people like it is - I love watching him and Upperclassman Kuno go at
it - but when he's rude to Akane, it's not so funny.

So it was with these thoughts burning in my mind - and the question of
what Ranma had done THIS time - that I met Akane at the front gate of
her home. She was wearing a really nice light sweater and a mid-length
skirt, which was pretty long for her - she must have been preparing
for the cold. She tends to favor short skirts when not in her school
uniform, and of course she looks great in them (another reason to be
envious, I suppose). I felt a little underdressed compared to her,
although our outfits were similar. I'm just so plain compared to
Akane. Yes, yes, I know, I'm supposed to be the sunny and happy girl
in our trio, but I'm human too. It's only natural I should carry
around a little resentment of Akane's natural good looks. I'm sure
most guys feel the same way around Ranma, although I know none of them
would ever admit it. You know, pride and ego and stuff.

"Hey Yuka!" Akane said. "Sayuri just called, she's on her way. She
said something came up and she'd be a few minutes late." A brisk
breeze gently brushed us and we shivered. "Come on, let's go inside
and wait."

I didn't mind going inside. It was cold out, and if I went inside, I
could see Ranma. Okay, I admit, I think he's cute. I would NEVER tell
Akane - she gets so irrationally jealous, and I'd hate for that to
come in the way of our friendship. Sayuri feels the same way, I know,
so it's our little secret from Akane. It gives us something to
conspire about. Oh, such sheer wickedness.

So I said, "Okay!"

As we walked into the house, I saw Mr. Tendo in the room to my left
playing shoji with a giant panda. The panda, of course, was Ranma's
father - no, nothing weird, or at least not unnatural. Just like
Ranma's cursed to turn into a girl, Mr. Saotome turns into a panda
when splashed with cold water. It must be kinda cool to have a curse.
I wouldn't want to turn into a guy, but it must not be so bad for
Ranma to turn into a girl. Of course, I'm a bit biased about my
gender. I'd rather be a girl anyday, but I guess that doesn't hold
true for Ranma. I never see him lounging around as a girl like Mr.
Saotome does as a panda.

They paused in their game. "Ah! Hello girls. Going to see a movie
tonight?" Mr. Tendo asked cheerfully. Like I said, he's a nice man.

"Yes, sir," I said. "It's a girl's night out."

The panda held up a sign that said "I wanna go too!" Akane and I
laughed and she started to reply when we heard Ranma's voice.

"Gee, Akane, if it's girl's night out, you better stay home. They're
probably gonna go see some mushy movie that'll just bore a tomboy like
you," he said with a smirk as he walked into their living room with a
bagful of rice crackers in his hand.

I could see Akane struggling to contain her anger. Some people clench
their fists when they're angry - Akane clenches her whole body. It's
pretty impressive.

"You're right, RANMA, maybe I should stay at home and practice for the
fight tomorrow - the fight that at I least I have the DECENCY to take
PART IN!" Akane grated. I could almost see an aura of anger rising
from her body. She's a scary girl when she's mad.

"Um, hi, Ranma," I said meekly, hoping to defuse an escalatingly tense
scene. I could almost imagine warning klaxons ringing as people
prepared for Akane to go ballistic.

"Hey, Yuka," Ranma said distractedly, too intent on tormenting Akane
to greet me courteously. I sighed, a bit disappointedly.

"That's not a bad idea, Akane," he said, turning back to her. Behind
us, I heard the sound of a man weeping. Mr. Tendo, no doubt, crying
that his daughter and her fiance were fighting again. He's so
histrionic. "Although I'm sure a butch chick like you'll have no
trouble wiping the mat with that dojo destroyer guy."

Dojo destroyer? I was taken aback. That sounded serious. Remember,
Akane hadn't told us the story yet. Thinking back, I realized that I
hadn't actually seen the Tendo's sign out in front of the house.
"Akane, you mean-" I started, but was cut off by her anger, which had
apparently reached its peak.

"No kidding, Ranma?" she spat through clenched teeth. Like I said,
full-body clenchage. "Maybe I should get some practice RIGHT NOW!" And
with that, she kicked Ranma, hard, in the gut. He dropped his
crackers, letting out a surprised "Whooof!" as his breath was forced
out of his lungs, and flew backward into the living room with a loud
crash, plus several secondary noises as objects were jarred loose from
the walls by his impact.

Akane stood fuming for a moment, breathing hard. Mr. Tendo continued
to cry and Mr. Saotome was using his competitor's distraction as an
opportunity to rearrange pieces on the shoji board. A knock sounded at
the door.

"Oh," Akane said cheerfully, turning to me. "That must be Sayuri!" She
skittered off to answer the door, leaving me in her wake to marvel at
her mercurial mood swings.

+++++++++

By the time we had eaten our obligatory fattening food and arrived at
the movie, Akane had told us the whole story. I have to admit,
sometimes Ranma is a total dope. I don't know why Akane puts up with
it. Actually, in this case, I'm not referring to Ranma's going off on
a date with Shampoo. I can understand why he'd be willing to risk
Akane's wrath if it meant he could cure his curse. Actually, it sounds
like Shampoo's going to cure his curse by cursing him with a new kind
of water. The rationalist in me wonders how effective that will be -
do two wrongs make a right? Do two curses make you normal? et cetera,
et cetera. But, whether it works or not, Ranma really does need to
give it a shot.

No, I think he's a jerk because of the way he handled the whole affair
before Shampoo entered the picture. The honor of the Tendo Dojo is
very important to Akane, but Ranma insisted on facing their opponent
himself. That was terribly insensitive, especially the way he so
offhandedly dismissed Akane's prowess. Yeah, so she's not as tough as
him, but she's led a balanced life and is still pretty talented,
whereas people like Ranma and Shampoo and Kuno - excuse me,
Upperclassman Kuno - basically obsess over their skills. I'm pretty
sure Akane could have handled the destroyer.

But it was a moot point - both Mr. Tendo and Mr. Saotome demanded that
the two face the destroyer together. Sounds kinda fishy to me. Akane's
told me about how they'll take any opportunity to get their children
together, and this sounds like more of that shameless opportunism.

Surely they don't really think they can force Ranma and Akane into
getting together? The only way those two will fall for each other and
admit it is if the gods made them. Or if they're allowed to get to
know each other at their own pace. Well, parents will be parents. My
parents are blind to my needs because they're so caught up trying to
provide for the family; Akane and Ranma's fathers share a similar
blindness, in a different way. Sometimes I think having children makes
you oblivious to details because you're so worried about the big
picture. Me? I have the exact opposite trouble. I get bogged down in
details and have trouble focusing on the bigger scale.

That's why I need friends like Akane and Sayuri. They seem so good at
balancing my shortcomings, and I'd like to think that I serve an
important role in their lives as well.

I hate when I see my two best friends upset. So I was pretty unhappy
at the movies that night.

I feel pretty one-sided here, talking on and on about Ranma and Akane
and totally glossing over Sayuri's problems. That's definitely not my
intention. I just don't feel totally comfortable about sharing
Sayuri's pain with everyone. Ranma and Akane are so public about their
disagreements that I feel pretty stupid not to talk, especially if I
can help clear up any misperceptions by explaining from a more inside
perspective. Really, I would think Nabiki would be the best person to
help clarify the situation and dispel all the rumors that spring up,
but no one is really willing to pay her prices. And anyway, most of
the rumors have to do with the two of them breaking off their
engagement - believe me, a lot of people at Furinkan High School would
be happy if Ranma and Akane were suddenly available. Sometimes I feel
almost obligated to explain and let everyone know that neither one is
unattached, so stop salivating, please.

With Sayuri, on the other hand, she's such a quiet and hidden person
that no one really knows anything about her. I don't think most people
wonder. Everyone knows she has a boyfriend at the University - or had,
anyway - and most people are content to let it go at that. That's
pretty unusual for this school, where gossip is half of what comes out
of people's mouths, but I think Sayuri is just so shy and good-natured
it seems a sin to talk behind her back. I wish the same thing held
true for me. You should hear some of the things that have been spread
around about me. Just because I don't have ANYONE...

Well, I digress. Sayuri is going through a really difficult period
right now. She's very unhappy, very depressed. Okay, well, almost
suicidal. She says she's developed "a morbid fascination with death,"
which sounds pretty alarming to me. Even more disturbing are the
ocassional comments she'll make, telling me what a great friend I've
been to her and how she has really appreciated me. Normally I'd be
touched to hear stuff like that, but her use of the past tense has me
pretty worried. I know why she feels so down, and I'd love to help
her, but she won't let her barriers down. I suppose in a way that's my
fault. I've always been pretty guarded about my own feelings; outgoing
and happy, but guarded. Sayuri picked that up from me, and now she's
using it to try to hide her pain. But I know she's depressed, and she
won't share it, and so she just dwells on it in her time alone.

I keep telling her he's not worth it. He was just a guy, and something
of a jerk at that. He always treated her pretty well, and it didn't
seem like he just wanted to get her in the sack, but the way he left
her was totally unfair.

The night that he left her was the scariest night of my life. I'll
never forget the sound of Sayuri's voice over the phone, ragged with
tears as she told me he had left her when he found out she was
pregnant. I remember my heart racing at the desperation in her tone.
For the rest of my life, I'll remember the cold, hard ball that formed
in the pit of my stomach as she told me that she had just swallowed a
bottle of aspirin and that all she wanted was to die. By the time I
got over to her house, running in the humid August night, she had
already swallowed an emetic and brought most of the contents of the
bottle back up. But she was sick for days, and even more horrifyingly,
she lost her baby.

I never told anyone else about it, not even her parents (well, her
mother, anyway... gods know where her father is) or her doctor. They
just thought she was having a bad month and left her alone to get
well. I promised her I wouldn't tell. But sometimes I think I should
have. But I put it off, procrastinated, waffled, and kept it to
myself.

But I can't tell, you know? I promised. And right now it seems like
the last thing she needs is someone else to break a promise. Yoshi
promised he'd always love her, and when he went back on his word, she
snapped. Sometimes I feel like my support is the only thing that keeps
her going, and I shudder to think what would happen if I withdrew that
support.

That's why I hate to talk about it. It's so depressing, and so
painful. And personal. It's another reason I envy Akane. She doesn't
really know anything about this - certainly not about Sayuri's growing
morbid streak or the bottle of aspirin - and doesn't have that extra
darkness to carry around inside of her. And compared to Sayuri's
problems in the wake of her relationship with Yoshi, Akane's problems
are almost trivial. Yeah, Ranma's a jerk sometimes, and he lets
himself get suckered by other women, but in a pinch he'll stick up for
Akane. I've seen it over and over again.

The only one who'll stick up for Sayuri is me. And no one sticks up
for me.

+++++++++

We watched the Maison Ikkoku final movie. It was in rerelease to
commemorate the tenth anniversary of the TV series. Of course we had
all seen it before, but of course we all cried at the end just like
the first time we saw it.

Actually, as we sat through the film, I began thinking that perhaps it
wasn't the best choice of shows to see. I mean, we all liked Maison
Ikkoku when it was showing, but the show was all about relationships,
love triangles, and, in the end, dealing to some degree with
disappointment. By the end of the movie, I was fidgeting a lot. I just
knew Sayuri was going to jump out of her seat and run crying from the
theatre. Fortunately, no such thing happened. I guess I can be a
little overprotective of her at times and don't always give her enough
credit for being able to overcome difficulties.

Akane, of course, didn't disappoint me. As expected, she left the
theatre in a noticably foul mood. I sighed and vowed to do everything
within my power to keep her from staying in a funk.

"Wow, don't you just love Maison Ikkoku?" I said as we walked through
the lobby. I turned to face them, walking backward like I had that
afternoon.

Sayuri smiled. "Godai and Kyoko are such a great couple!" she
exclaimed. "It's nice to see true love win out for once!" I looked at
her carefully, but her smile was in her eyes too. No remorse or
sadness behind the comment - just a straightforward statement, like
the old Sayuri I used to know. I tried not to let my relief show on my
face.

"Yeah, whatever," Akane groused. "I don't know why Kyoko would put up
with his two-timing. He's so pathetic! I would never put up with a guy
like that."

I quirked an eyebrow and looked Akane in the eye. "Oh no?" My question
was dripping with meaning. Sayuri giggled as Akane's face flushed.

"No, I... um, I mean, I really need to go home now," she stammered. "I
need to rest for that confrontation tomorrow. No, really, I was
meaning to go home right after the movie all along," she added
quickly, seeing my face fall. I was afraid for a second I had really
upset her and my remark was going to drive her away.

"I guess. Not much of a girl's night out." I tried to hide my
disappointment, but did so very poorly and my ords came out with a
trace of bitterness. That made me feel pretty low. I didn't want to
add guilt to the list of negative feelings Akane was harboring - it
really wasn't her fault she had to leave.

"That's okay," Sayuri said. "We understand, right, Yuka?" She gave me
a meaningful glance that she held until I broke eye contact.

"Uh, um, yeah. That's okay, Akane, we'll walk you home." I flushed a
little bit and cast my gaze down at the sidewalk. What was that look
all about? I was concerned about Sayuri and had spent a lot of time
with her recently, tryiong to get her to open up to me. I actually let
down my guard for her in the hopes that it would help bring her
around. Sometimes I wondered if she misunderstood that attention.

Akane looked at me with a bit of puzzlement on her face and shrugged.
"Sorry, guys, I'd love to hang out a little longer, but I have a busy
day tomorrow. I would have a little more free time if my fiance wasn't
flirting around on me." I could hear a bit of steel tempering her
words: cold, sharp and dangerous. What a woman. I want to be like
Akane when I grow up.

"Well, hang in there, Kyoko," I said, punching her arm. "I'm sure your
Godai will come around soon enough." Sayuri and I laughed as Akane's
flush returned with reinforcements.

"Shut up, Yuka!"

+++++++++

Sayuri and I said goodnight to Akane at the gate of the dojo, wishing
her luck in her fight tomorrow. That cracks me up - usually you wish
your girlfriends good luck on a date or a test or something, not a
martial arts duel. Akane's definitely an interesting one.

We waved goodbye and she shut the door to the house. That left me and
Sayuri alone, in front of the dojo.

We were quiet for a moment, neither one of us making eye contact.

Sayuri broke the silence. "Um, Yuka, would it be okay if I stayed over
tonight at your place? My mother's got her boyfriend over and..." She
let her sentence trail off and looked up at me pleadingly.

Oh boy.

"Sure!" I said, putting a hand on her shoulder and doing my best to
hide any misgivings I was harboring - which, truth be told, were quite
substantial. Something about Sayuri was making me feel a bit uneasy.
"We've got room! You're welcome to come over anytime, Sayuri!"

She beamed. "Really? Great, Yuka, that's great!" She hugged me,
enthusiastically and a bit more tightly than I liked. I let her hold
on to me for a few minutes, feeling distinctly awkward, until I needed
to break free.

"Well, come on, girl, let's go before we freeze!" I said, stepping
back from her. We turned toward my house and started walking the few
blocks distance. It was an awkward ten minutes. She hovered at my
side, much closer than I found comfortable - more like a girlfriend
would be with a boyfriend. Her hand kept brushing mine as we walked,
and every time we made contact I tensed up. I knew she was rebounding
somewhat and was filling the gap Yoshi had left in her life with me,
but I wasn't certain just how much of that vacuum she expected me to
fill for her. And this wasn't the first time I had gotten some weird
signals from her, either. I looked at her surreptitiously a few times,
and every time she was looking at me. Each time we made eye contact,
she blushed and looked down at the ground. I wasn't sure if I liked
that.

When we finally got to my house, she stepped back from me, putting a
little more distance between us. I pursed my lips, on the verge of
commenting, but decided once again that now wasn't the time. With a
sigh, I opened the front door and stepped inside. Most of the lights
were off, but my mother and father were in our tiny living room
watching television.

"Mom, Dad?" I said, poking my head into the room from the hallway.

"Yes, Yuka?" asked my father, not looking away from the news program
they were watching.

"Is it okay if Sayuri stays over tonight?" I held my breath. Normally
they're not unreasonable, but like I said, you never know with
parents.

"That's fine, dear," said my mother. "Hello, Sayuri," she said,
turning back to face us.

"Hello," Sayuri said shyly, from behind me. She disappeared behind me,
out of the light of the television. I felt her tugging my sleeve.
"C'mon, Yuka, let's go to your room."

I felt my heart slam in my chest - probably without warrant. Still, I
felt an unpleasant confrontation in the near future, and I was very
reluctant to face it. I hate getting involved in anything that makes
me tell another person something they don't want to hear, and I will
do anything I can to procrastinate when such a event is near. 

"Uh, well, okay. But, do you want some tea or soda to drink?" I asked
in my best I'm-not-really-stalling-for-time-that's-just-your-imagination
 tone.

"No," she said, "I'm okay. Let's go talk."

And that dispelled any unease I had. Sayuri had been so quiet and
uncommunicative since Yoshi left her that this - the first time she
had actually offered to talk - was an opportunity I couldn't pass up.

"That would be great," I replied, this time with a good deal of
sincerity.

We trekked upstairs to my room, which was slightly messy with papers
and clothes. Not like my brother's room - good gosh - but the clutter
still didn't leave too much space for sitting. I tried not to wince as
Sayuri shut the door behind her. Something was about to happen, and I
didn't know if it was going to be a good thing or a bad thing. But it
was definitely going to be big.

She took a seat on the floor and grabbed my hand, pulling me down
beside her. I managed to get a fairly neutral distance from her and
turned to face her.

"So...? What would you like to talk about?" I asked.

She bit her lower lip and cast her gaze about the room as if looking
for something.

"Well," she began, her eyes focused on the wallscroll I had hanging on
my closet door. "I, uh, I've been thinking." She looked at me.

"Yeah?" I said, wanting her to get to the point but appreciating the
fact that she was procrastinating just as much as me.

"About Yoshi."

I pursed my lips. "Sayuri-"

"And- and, about other things." She took a deep breath. "Things have
been really hard for me lately. He -" she stopped, trying to fight
back some tears. I moved a little closer to her and took her hand for
support. She grasped my hand like a lifeline.

A moment of silence, punctuated only by my wall clock and the muffled
sounds of the television downstairs.

"He called me," she said, eliciting a gasp from me. "He called, and
wanted to know how everything was. He said he wanted to apologize."
She looked up at the wall again.

"I told him... not to worry. That it was no big deal. That I- I didn't
need him anymore."

I was surprised. I thought for sure Sayuri would take him back. Not
that I thought her doing so would be a good idea, but she was so
broken up without him. I was actually speechless.

The tears sprung from her eyes. She began shaking as her tears became
sobs.

"I- I told him-" She stopped, unable to speak.

"Oh, Sayuri," I said. "You poor girl." I slid over next to her and
hugged her, holding her, letting her tears soak into the shoulder of
my sweater. Finally, after a few long moments, she calmed down. "Poor
girl," I said, closing my eyes and trying to will a sense of comfort
into her. She began taking those deep breaths that always follow a
hard cry and shifted a bit in my arms.

She spoke again, quietly, and I shut my eyes again to listen.

"I told him I already have someone."

Puzzled, I looked up and was surprised to see that her face was just
inches away from mine. Her eyes pierced mine, shining with tears and
some undefinable emotion. And before I could react, she kissed me.

For a second, I just sat there stunned. What does someone do
in that sort of situation? I didn't want to just pull away, because it
would have devastated her. And because, well... I hadn't kissed anyone
in a long time. For a moment, all I felt was the sensation of my lips
against those of someone else... warm breath against my cheek...
the smell of tears, and a hint of perfume. And there was an electric
thrill that sent a shiver down my spine. What mattered in that one
instant was not whose lips they were - just that for a brief time, I
closed my eyes and all my world focused around a very intense
sensation.

But, despite what others may say behind my back, the idea of kissing a
girl is kind of repugnant to me. Just because I didn't have a
boyfriend doesn't mean I didn't want one. I just hadn't met anyone who
was as attractive to my heart as to my eyes. And truth be told, no one
had expressed a whole lot of interest in me, either.

After a few moments - I don't know how long, really - I very gently
put my hands on her shoulders and pushed her away while leaning
slightly backward. We broke contact, each reflecting the other's look
of sadness, although the two of us were sad for very different
reasons.

The room was smothered in an awkward moment of silence as we sat, a
few inches apart, transfixed by the other's eyes.

"Sayuri," I said in a whisper. "Why- why did you do that?"

"I'm so sorry," she said, emotionlessly. "But I love you." She didn't
move, but her eyelids slowly lowered until my face was out of her
field of vision. Another teardrop trickled down her cheek and fell
heavily on my bare knee.

>From somewhere, I heard a loud noise. A moment later I realized it was
my own heart. My throat felt dry and my whole body felt like it was
tightening to the beat of my pulse.

"I love you, too, Sayuri. You're my best friend." I sat back, leaning
against the wall. I felt suddenly very tired. "But... it's not like
that." I rubbed my eyes and discovered to my surprise that I had been
crying as well. "It's not that kind of love."

She held her position for moment, hunched forward on her knees, before
leaning back and facing away, dejectedly. "I... I know. But-"

I leaned forward again and grabbed her hands, on an impulse. She tried
to pull them away but I refused to let go. "Sayuri."

She didn't respond.

"Sayuri, listen. I have to tell you something important." Despite
herself, she was drawn in by the gravity of my words and the tone of
my voice.

"Do you realize that if I was Akane, I would have kicked you through
the ceiling just now?"

Sayuri stared at me blankly for just a second, sniffling. "What?"

"You heard me." I imitated Akane's voice. "'Don't kiss me, you
pervert! Not like this! We're both girls!'"

I dropped her hands suddenly, afraid I had just been extremely
insensitive in calling her a pervert. We continued to stare at each 
other.

Another long, expressionless moment of silence.

Finally, she giggled. Relieved, I cracked a smile. Soon, we were
holding our sides in paroxysms of laughter - that sort of hysterical,
relieved laughter that you have after a really tense situation boils
over.

"Shut up, you violent tomboy!" she gasped between breaths. That set us
to laughing even harder.

After quite a while, we calmed down and sat, exhausted. A comfortable
silence settled over us as we thought. I stood up and walked over to
my bed, against which Sayuri was leaning. I sat down on the bed's
edge, next to her, and leaned down to put my hand on her shoulder.

"Yuka, um... thanks." She looked down at her lap.

"You're welcome... uh, for what?" I rubbed my eyes again.

"For, well, for not getting mad at me." She reached up and put her
hand on mine. "For understanding."

"Well-"

"You've never felt the things I feel, the pain and sadness, Yuka. I- I
need Yoshi, but... I know he'd just hurt me again. I can't trust him."
She turned her head to look up at me. "I need someone I can trust."

I said nothing. I could tell she was coming to a resolution in her
mind, and I wanted her to be able to fight her own battle. So that she
could have a victory to call her own.

"Yoshi filled an important part of my life, Yuka. When we were
together, I felt protected." She sighed, looking at the ceiling
wistfully. "I thought we were really in love - I trusted him with my
heart and with my body."

(But Sayuri,) I wanted to say, (the heart and body don't have to go
together. You didn't have to kiss me - I'll be here for you in way
that Yoshi wasn't. But I can't give you everything he did.) 

But I didn't say it. My words stuck in my throat when I looked at her,
so small and vulnerable, and I felt an urge to turn the tables and kiss 
her. Surprised at myself (and somewhat embarrassed), I sat back
slightly and looked away.

"You don't know what it's like, Yuka. But you've been such a good
friend. So patient and open and supporting. I- I just want to say, I
really appreciate it." She paused, but before I could say anything
else, she continued. "I'm sorry about- you know."

I nodded. "It's... I understand." (And it would be hypocritical for me
to hold your confusion against you,) I thought, (because it's not yours 
alone.) 

But these words I kept to myself. No sense in complicating the
situation even more.

"But... well, okay, I think I'm okay now." She rested her head against
my knee and fell quiet for a moment. 

"Yuka," she said, with the intonation of a question.

"Yes, Sayuri?"

"I want you to know you're a real friend. My best friend." She sighed,
working the last of the tears and laughter out of her system. "I
really need you, Yuka."

My heart seemed to swell inside of me with pride and happiness as she
stood up in front of me and took my hand, pulling me to stand up as
well. I smiled at her and said, "I need you too, Sayuri. You're
important to me." We embraced again, and this time it wasn't weird or
uncomfortable, just the warm, encouraging embrace of two best friends,
supporting each other in an ugly world.

Maybe I was wrong before. I said no one sticks up for me, but I was
wrong. Right now, I have to stick up for Sayuri, but I know that when
I need her, she'll be there for me too. It's a good feeling, and a
rare feeling, and I wouldn't trade it for the world.

And for once, I wasn't jealous of Akane at all.

+++++++++

Abbreviated notes:
This takes place during the events of the Dojo Destroyer storyline,
which is in Viz novel volume 6. The Viz spellings for names and places
were used since that's what I grew up on.

Thanks to the positive responses I received about Procrastination,
more stories in this vein are in the works. Some will deal with minor
characters, others won't; some will be in the Ranmaverse, others
won't. Mostly, I just want an opportunity to crawl into other people's
heads... it gets so boring being in mine all the time.

Jeremy

Standard disclaimers apply. The characters and situations created by
Rumiko Takahashi are, of course, her property, and I use them only out
respect and admiration.