Subject: [Deluge] [Fic] [Repost] Self-Insertion
From: Terence Fergusson
Date: 7/3/1997, 3:14 PM
To: fanfic@fanfic.com


This was a little experiment I started a little while back.  A story, written
as if it was an adventure.  Hell, I like doing things like this.

So, for those of you who remember Infocom, here's a little treat.

(And maybe, one day, I'll also do an interactive version ^_^)
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It's four o'clock, and it's a dismal Sunday afternoon.  Somehow, this always
happens to be the most dull and boring part of the entire week.  Well, at
least you've got the FFML to keep you occupied.  That is, you would have, if
your computer hadn't gone down for the second time today....

SELF-INSERTION
An Interactive Whistle Stop Tour of the World of Anime Fanfics
Copyright (c) 1997 by Terence Fergusson.

Your Bedroom
It's a typical otaku's bedroom.  That is, maybe if you hired a forklift,
scrummaged around for about half an hour, and flooded your room with bleach,
you might just find the floor.  As it is, every available space is covered
with anime tapes, posters, dolls, pin-ups, mangas, and other otaku fanstuff.
If you clambered over the large replica "Nuclear Tokyo with Real Explosions",
you can reach the landing to the east, while if you climbed onto your bed,
you can just reach your closet to the north.

Your computer is set up in a spare corner of the room, currently turned off.

TURN ON COMPUTER
Hitting the switch on the side of the 486, you watch in consternation as it
runs through the boot-up sequence.  Within a few moments, Microsoft's
personal torturing device - Windows 95 - has booted up.  Miracles will never
cease.

EXAMINE COMPUTER
It's your 486, complete with 3 1/2" disk drive, a rather modest hard drive,
connected to a small black-and-white TV.  The keyboard is battered from
continual use, and the hard drive is the type that sounds like a slipping
gear, chuntering away every time it's accessed.

On the screen, you can see a graphical interface environment, complete with
icons and a mouse pointer.  Fortunately, you've already customised the
GUI so that there are no more windows to worry about, just the icons.  One
of the icons in particular, "Pegasus Mail", leads to your gateway to the
FFML.

CLICK ON PEGASUS MAIL
Moving the mouse over the icon, you activate it.  After a few seconds of
chuntering from the hard-drive, a helpful message appears, "The installed
version of Pegasus Mail has become corrupt.  Do you wish to reinstall?"
BLAST!  You knew the computer crash had done something this time.  You resist
the urge to locate Bill Gates and carbomb him.

At the bottom of the error message are two buttons: Reinstall and Cancel.

CLICK ON REINSTALL
The error message disappears to be replaced by another helpful message,
"Please insert the Pegasus Mail Program Disk."  Oh, great.  Now you're going
to have to go search for the disk.  Where could it be?

EXAMINE FLOOR
If you want to examine the junk, say so.  Otherwise: I cannot see any floor
here.

EXAMINE JUNK 
Well, it's not exactly junk, par se.  It's actually very useful and essential
stuff, which you couldn't bear to get rid of.  Like your Sailor Moon figure
collection.

SEARCH JUNK
Rummaging through the stuff on the floor, you fail to find anything to help
you in your current situation.

EXAMINE CLOSET
On the other side of the bed in a slightly clearer area of the room, is your
closet.  Even with the amount of stuff on the floor, you think you could get
it open.  You'd have to stand on your bed to get close enough.

OPEN CLOSET
You can't reach the closet from here.  

GET ON BED
You get on your bed.

OPEN CLOSET
You open the door and are instantly surprised as a ton of anime stuff topples
out on top of you.  You lay there on your bed, in amongst all the new junk
that the closet has spewed out.

SEARCH NEW JUNK
Sifting through all the stuff that fell out, removing things like your
Ranma 1/2 "Changes in water" T-shirt, your Urusei Yatsura "Lum Shocker Pak"
and your Bubblegum Crisis "Shedding Skin Boomer".  Finally, you hit paydirt.
In amongst a cache of disks, you finally retrieve the Pegasus Mail Program
Disk.

[Your score has just gone up by two points.]
                                       
GET OFF BED
You have to get out of the closet junk first.

GET OUT OF CLOSET JUNK
You remove yourself from the closet junk.

GET OFF BED
You get off the bed.

PUT DISK IN COMPUTER
The disk drive churns as the computer accepts it.  After a few minutes
waiting, Pegasus Mail finally reinstalls itself.  You're glad you automated
the process; but then, after about thirty-seven times of reinstalling Pegasus
after crashes, you do learn a few things.

The computer drops back into the familiar GUI.

CLICK ON PEGASUS MAIL
This time, Pegasus Mail boots up without a hitch.  Bringing up the New Mail
folder, you quickly check if anything has been sent while you were down.

Unfortunately, there's only one new mail, but it has no subject header.

CLICK ON NEW MAIL
You open up the mail message to find it's full of garbage, as if it was
compressed or something.  Not another one.

But hang on a sec.  You're pretty sure the hard drive shouldn't be flashing
like that.  And why is the TV flickering like that?

TURN OFF COMPUTER
Before you can do anything, the screen suddenly blanks out of its own accord.
You back away from the machine before it gets any ideas about electrocuting
you or something.  It appears, however, to have other ideas.

The screen begins to glow eerily.

PANIC
You scream and shout, generally running around like a chicken with it's head
cut off.

The glowing grows stronger, and you feel a strong gravitational attraction 
pulling you towards your TV.

EAST
You attempt to flee, but the pull from the screen is too strong.

With a cry, your feet lose their grip on the floor, skidding on your
scale-model Griffon.  You fly across the room, and completely defying any
law of physics, are sucked into your 12" TV.

And then, all is black.






Elsewhere, elsewhen, a shadowy figure gazes at their computer screen.  "It
begins."




---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Someone actually took me up on the challenge, and did the second part.  It
wasn't quite in adventure style, but I thought "what the hell", and took
what he'd done to set the basis for the next part.  So, here's part three
as well.
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You seem to awake.... no.  Awake isn't the right word.  You don't feel as if
you've been sleeping.  It's more as if you were daydreaming, and reality has
come screaming back to you.  Except what you see seems less like reality.

Screaming At Two Hundred Feet
You look out on the world through some sort of visor literally inches from
your face.  Various HUDs and hilighted information fill your vision, and the
sensation of speed tugs at you from within.  You don't seem to be falling,
but from what you can see out of your peripherals, this bout of skyscraper
flying should be handled very carefully.

[Your score has just gone up by four points.]

FULL SCORE

You have scored 18 points in the course of your journey, giving you the rank
of Autographee.

The score is made up as follows:

   2  Finding something (anything) in your bedroom
   5  Downloading new mail
   3  Winning out against Ryoga's sense of direction
   1  Protecting Ryoga's curse
   3  Bweeing for help
   4  Attempting to set the course of true love straight

EXAMINE ME
This particular action is actually more difficult than usual due to the
outer casing of armour that surrounds your body.  You quickly pick up the
basic details of your new persona.  Essentially, you seem to be flying a
heavily armoured hardsuit at supersonic speeds with little or no flying aids.
The hardsuit part of yourself makes you think that you might have ended up in
Bubblegum Crisis, but on the other hand, you definitely feel male....

A clear female voice startles you out of your initial confusion: "Skyknight?
What's going on?"

TAKE INVENTORY
You are carrying nothing.

The voice, which must be coming over some sort of communication system, seems
to get more worried.  "Bert, come in.  Are you still there?"

VOICE, YES
Trying desperately to sound confident, you answer in the affirmative.

The voice sounds relieved, but takes a serious tone.  "Good.  Don't pull
stunts like that.  Right, you got a couple of boomers straight ahead.  We're
still caught up with a majority of the task force, so we won't be able to
bail you out.  So no stupid stunts, 'kay?"

EXAMINE SUIT
Trying to make sense of the various displays, you manage to identify
something that looks like a radar screen and an altometer.  One of the VDUs
seem to show a map of some unknown city, which you suspect is MegaTokyo;
while yet another gives you damage status.

[Examining any of these displays does not take any time.  You can control the
hardsuit by using the commands GAIN ALTITUDE, LOSE ALTITUDE, GAIN SPEED,
LOSE SPEED, TURN LEFT, TURN RIGHT and STOP.  Although the hardsuit seems
capable of more, these are the only commands you can decipher at such short
notice.]

The voice over the comm seems to get irritated.  "Bert, you're going to
promise not to do any stupid stunts this time, aren't you?"

VOICE, YES
You quickly try to ease the woman's fears by promising not to do any stupid
stunts.  Not that you were inclined to, anyway.

For some reason, the voice seems uneasy.  "If you say so, Bert.  Catch you
when you punch out.  Good luck."  The comm goes silent.

You notice a couple of dots appear on your short range radar, closing at the
unimaginable speed of 545 m/s (according to the suit).

EXAMINE WEAPONS
Locating the weapons display, you find that the suit is equipped with a
plasma cannon mounted on each arm, retractable sword blades and, to your
delight, missile pods on the shoulder mounts.  The missiles appear to be
armour piercing high explosives, with an acquiring radar lock.  However, the
lock still has to be manually set.

[You can lock weapons with the LOCK <weapon> command.  Fire them with the
FIRE <weapon> command.]

EXAMINE RADAR
The two "boomers" appear to be 20 klicks and closing.  The hardsuit IFF
system has identified them as C-55 Boomers, and has marked them as B1 and B2
for target acquisition purposes.

LOCK MISSILE AT B1
The hardsuit flashes a yellow light at you, informing you that it is trying
to acquire a missile lock.

The dots on the radar are within 10k now.

GAIN ALTITUDE
You pull up out of the skyscrapers to a height of three hundred feet.

The dots on the radar split as they come within 2 klicks, somewhere below
you.

LOSE SPEED
You cut down on the thrust, slowing your progress.

B1 passes you below and to the left, while B2 climbs to your level, turning
to get a shot.

The suit flashes a red warning light as a boomer missile locking system is
detected.

TURN RIGHT
You bank slightly to the right.

B1 slows down directly behind you, while B2 flies into your field of vision.

Your hardsuit flashes a white warning light as it temporary loses sight of
B1.

The klaxon sounds as a missile lock is detected!

LOSE ALTITUDE
You dive back in between the skyscrapers, weaving between the buildings.

B1 approaches you behind and slightly above you, while B2 passes overhead.

Stabs of laser fire pass harmlessly above your position.

LOSE SPEED
You cut down on the thrust, slowing your progress.  The reduced speed brings
you down lower, to one hundred feet above the ground.

B1 overshoots, passing into your field of vision, while B2 dives to your
level, turning to get a shot.

Your hardsuit triumphantly trills as it acquires a missile lock on B1!

FIRE BOTH MISSILES
You fire missiles from both shoulder mounts, chasing B1 close behind.

The first missile misses, but the second scores a direct hit, completely
annihilating the boomer!

B2 comes up right behind you, lasers firing!

[Your score has just gone up by five points.]

GAIN ALTITUDE
You try to gain height, but you can't at your current reduced speed.

The sky rocks as lasers slam into you, severely damaging several systems!

B2 overshoots, passing into your field of vision.

EXAMINE DAMAGE DISPLAY
The damage display shows that your right jet is damaged, as well as both
plasma cannons.  In addition, while there is another load of missiles left
to be used, the targetting system appears to be totalled, making them
useless.

GAIN SPEED
You increase your speed, but find yourself veering slightly to the right as
well.

Skyscrapers loom ominously on your right.

B2 slows down, keeping just in front of you.

TURN LEFT
You bank slightly to the left, correcting your slight course change.

B2 slowly falls back, decreasing the distance between you.

TURN ON BLADES
You withdraw the retractable sword blades, an extension to the hardsuit's
arms.

B2 is literally inches in front of you!  Any closer and you'll ram!

ATTACK B2 WITH BLADES
With the effortless ease afforded by the hardsuit, you slash straight through
the boomer, sending it spiralling out of control.  Scratch one boomer.

As you dispatch the last boomer, the voice on the comm contacts you: "Bert!
You done yet?"

[Your score has just gone up by five points.]

VOICE, NO
The voice sighs in exasperation.  "Quit fooling around, Bert.  You haven't
got time for flybys.  Oh, and Sylia wants to see your recording when you get
back."

You hear a series of small explosion from just behind you, and are shocked to
feel your right engine give out.  The whine of the turbines wind down to
leave you with a terrible silence.

LOSE ALTITUDE
You dip slightly, trying to reduce your height even more.  However, your
current speed makes flying increasingly difficult.

Red warning lights appear all over the HUD, telling you of imminent system
failures and lockouts.  You must have got hit more badly than you thought.

"Bert?!" comes the worried voice of your benefactor.  "What's happening?
Sylia, Priss, I think Bert's in trouble!"

LOSE SPEED
This is easily done as the other engine decides to cut out as this point,
sending you ever nearer towards the unforgiving concrete of the ground.

You notice a particularly large building loom ahead, spelling a final end to
your flight if you don't do something quick.  You need to find some way to
slow down, and fast!

LOSE SPEED
Unfortunately, this flying lump of plate armour doesn't appear to have air
brakes.

You crash into the building at a critical speed, easily demolishing several
offices and electronic equipment, before ending up as a terrible mess on
someone's desk.

Unfortunately, this is an injury that not even the almighty Skyknight can
recover from.

   
    *** You have died ***


You have scored 28 points in the course of your journey, giving you the rank
of a Third-rate Skyknight.

Would you like to RESTART, RESTORE a saved game, give the FULL score for that
game, or QUIT?
UNDO
Screaming At Twenty Feet
[Previous turn undone.]

FIRE BOTH MISSILES
There's a hiss of air as the hardsuit loads and fires another set of missiles
into the oncoming building.  Both the recoil of the projectiles and the
resulting explosion serve to slow you down enormously.

You hurtle headlong into the building, but your reduced speed serves to aid
your descent.  Scraping your breastplate against the breadth of a large
office floor, you finally skid to a stop as you smash against the wall.

Fortunately, you don't seem too damaged; the suit seems to have absorbed
most of it.  However, that doesn't seem to prevent you losing consciousness
at this critical moment....

Once again, all is black.






Elsewhere, elsewhen, a shadowy figure gazes at their computer screen.  "It
would appear that the first trials have been successfully passed.  Maybe this
is the one."

"We shall see."





                             Terence Fergusson
                          -- Student of Advanced Murphodynamics
                          -- Stranded in an Anime-free College