***************Alternate Universe: Ranko and Kaneda*************
by: Adrian Wong
Intro:
In the Ranma 1/2 manga by Rumiko Takahashi, Genma Saotome
engaged Ranma to one of Soun Tendo's daughter, Akane in order for
him to inherit the Tendo Dojo. The entire series is largely
consisted of the problems and chaos generated by the couple.
Supposed that Genma has a daughter, and Soun has two girls and
one boy, then what's going to happen? Also, how will the
Jusenkyo factor apply itself in this case? Well, read on and
find out!!
*Most characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi (even though some of
them have endured sex changes)*
Part Six: <draft> In Come the Amazons (Part b)
Note: Chinese dialogues in { }
In the Village of Amazons, a bunch of girls in Chinese
garments were gathered around two teenagers who are fighting.
One of them were a long-haired, bespectabcled boy who looked
heavily bruised, and the other one was a long-haired, curvy girl
who didn't even look winded.
{You're hopeless, Mousse.} The girl tossed back her wavy,
knee-length, purple hair as she looked at the boy with a bored
look. {Just give it up. You'll never be able to win my hand
through combat.}
Her friends cheerfully joined in.
{Do you really think that someone like you can win the hand
of someone like Xian Pu?} one of the warrior girls asked
mockingly. {Maybe you really should have the village healer to
check out your brain.}
{Yeah, four-eyes! Why don't you try to get someone around
your own level to marry you? You know, there was this really
cute girl who had lost a leg at the neighboring village. Why
don't you try defeating HER to win her hand in marriage?}
{Hehe . . . the blind and the disabled, what a match they
would have made!}
{Hehehehehe!!!!}
Mousse was trembling with frustration. He knew that he
could beat up those annoying girl warriors, but that would only
anger his love. Actually, he also knew that he could have just
beat up his love and try claiming her as his own. His fights
with the other boys have proved that he was the strongest male of
his generation. Yet he couldn't for the life of himself ever
even perceive the idea of hurting his love.
Even if it means winning her as his bride.
So instead of trying to defeat his love in combat to prove
his worth, as any other male would have done in the Amazon
Village, he tried pleading with her. {Xian Pu, I love you. I
can't fight you, even if it means that I can then have a chance
of being your lawful hushand. But won't you at least take me as
a concubine?}
Xian Pu's reply was careless, which made it sting even
worse. {Please! What would I want with a wimp like you as a
concubine? If you aren't any good on the battlefield, how can
you possibly be any good in bed?}
Mousse's face reddened with shame as the girls giggled
around him.
{And to think if you give me a child that is every bit as
blind and wimpy as yourself . . . eeewww . . . my bloodline will
NEVER live that down.}
Mousse persisted despite his shame. {But I love-}
Xian Pu cut him off with distain. {And you think I care? So
long, blind boy.} With that, she and her friends sprang onto a
rooftop and left, leaving him to stand there in a stupidor.
Mousse fell onto his knees in despair. His heart had
finally shattered after the prolonged abuse by the girl of his
dreams. As the pair of glasses fell from his face, tears could
be seen running down his bloodshot eyes. {Xian Pu . . .}
#################################################################
Mousse's eyes snapped open, blazing with the fury of a lover
scorned as he bit down on his lower lip. The fury dimmed as he
remembered how it was all in the past now, that Xian Pu was now
the one in his shoes.
As he calmed down, he became melancholic for a brief
instant: can there never be a healthy equlibrium between them?
Then the image of a gorgeous red nymphet flashed through his
mind, washing away his depression. Tomboylish, but none the less
sexy, Ranko was every bit as attractive as Xian Pu used to be in
his mind. What was even better was that Ranko doesn't have even
a tiny hint of that annoying snottiness that had plagued so many
girls of her age: an advantage that Xian Pu can't even hope to
compete with.
He didn't need to have anything between him and Xian Pu
anymore.
Sitting up from his bed, the boy took a look at his room
under the morning sunlight for the first time. It wasn't
luxurious, but it was quite modestly furnished: the Grand
Matriarch had quite a taste in just about everything.
Pulling on his Chinese pants and robes, he went down to the
washroom to get cleaned up. Afterwards, he went into the
restaurant area, and saw the Grand Matriarch already there,
setting up the sighs regarding the "Grand Opening of Hulihanten".
"Huli?" Mousse asked with a frown. The youthful Grand
Matriarch smiled as she finished putting up the last sign on the
restaurant. "Yes, Mousse, huli. Here, why don't you pass these
out all over the town?" with that, she handed him several huge
stacks of advertizement.
Mousse took the stacks and slided them into his robes with a
magican's grace. "Sure, Grand Matriarch."
The girl smirked. "Skip the formalities: we're not in the
village now."
Mousse took a good look at the Grand Matriarch, and couldn't
help but marvel at how different she was from Xian Pu aside from
the fact that they were both good-looking. Slender and willowy,
she was elegant in ways that made the bubbly Xian Pu appear
vulgar by comparision. And her lidded, large eyes, they showed
off a sophistication on her that Xian Pu cannot hope to have . .
. not until her beauty had wilted from old age anyway. Had he
not known of the truth, Mousse might actually be tempted by the
alluring woman.
"As you wish."
"Oh, and while you are passing these out, go invite Ranko to
our grand opening at noon." the woman-girl smiled with a twinker
of light in her wise eyes as she recalled an Amazon proveb. "The
way to a woman's heart is very often through her stomach . . .
especially the way to that one's."
Mousse clapsed his fist into his hand. "That's right! Ranko
does seem to have a thing for food, cleaning out Tai Cha Fan's
food storage like that . . . Hmmm . . . now is my chance to
impress her. Thanks for the idea!"
With that, he walked out from the backdoor of the restaurant
with excitement in his steps.
The Grand Matriarch smiled after the leaving boy. If all
went well, not only will Xian Pu have to give up on her hopeless
pursue, but their village will be much strengthened as well. She
took a look at the signs all round the well set up restaurant,
and headed back into her room to get dressed up for the occasion.
* * * * * * *
At the Tendo Dojo, the Saotomes were as usual sparring
around the koi pond in the yard. Both were punching and kicking
each other in midair.
"Dammit, you animal!" Ranko yelled at her father in rage.
"How dare you steal your own daughter's breakfast!!!"
With a skillful kick, Genma got past Ranko's defence,
sending the girl plummeting toward the pond. Droping down
lightly onto the edge of the koi pond, he gloated at his falling
daughter.
"Haha! You're getting sloppy, girl-" before he could have
finished the sentence, somebody used the back of his head as a
jumpboard to propel himself at the falling girl, driving Genma
into the pound instead.
"Ranko!"
Grabbing the falling girl under his arm, he sommersaulted
and landed safely on the other side of the pond. Holding her
small, shapely frame in his arms, he gently looked into her eyes
and flashed her a charming smile. "Nihao!"
Already somewhat immune to his overused ladykiller-gaze,
Ranko manage to get out of his grip this time, even though she
was still blushing. "Hey . . . eh, Mousse. What brings you
here?"
Mousse frown to himself as he felt the everpresent
resistance from his new love. The Grand Matriarch had already
stated that their union was legal. Could it be that she really
WANT to be engaged to that Kaneda boy? How could she? When the
boy was so rough towards her?
Then again, Xian Pu was even rougher toward him in the past
. . .
He then smiled to himself. He was no longer the pitatious,
grovelling, blind clown that he once was. Just as he had finally
got the strength to leave Shampoo, Ranko will surely get the
strength to leave Kaneda too . . . Yes, victory shall be his.
With a slightly wicked but seductive smile, Mousse spoke up
again. "Airen . . ."
"Eh . . . what?" Ranko asked hesitantly, guarded.
"Interested in a free lunch at the new Chinese restaurant
that I'm now working at?"
* * * * * * *
Taking his morning jog along his normal route, Kaneda was
deep in thought.
The chaos from last night has reveal something very shocking
to the heir of the Tendo School of Anything Goes Kempo: his style
might be a match for that of the Kuno School of Kendo, but was
clearly outclassed by the Kuonji School of Martial Arts
Okonomiyaki.
Kaneda frowned as he remembered now straineous it had been
for him to dodge those stone shattering strikes of Kuno, while
Ukyou didn't even broke a sweat as he casually "swatted" the air-pressure hits aside with that spatula of his. After continually
swatting for a while, the okonomiyaki expert had apparently got
bored as he casually leapt over to spatulate the offending
kendoist up to the stars. With that much strength and speed, no
wonder he could defeat Mr. Saotome.
While Kaneda wasn't jealous of Ukyou's combat skill, he felt
. . . threathened by it. Even though the Kuonji cook wasn't
exactly hostile to him, he appeared to be quite determined in
reinforing the engagment with Ranko that Mr. Saotome had cheated
out of him. It may come down to a fight . . . a fight which
Kaneda doubt if he could win.
And what about Mousse? He hadn't yet seen him fight. But
being a male Amazon, he obviously wasn't one to be
underestimated.
But the most important thing was: Who did Ranko want?
How did she actually feel about him? Did she feel the same
way about him as he did her? And why DID she allow those other
guys to chase after her like that?
If he, being a boy, could turn down dozens of love-sick
girls without hesistation, shouldn't it be even easier for HER to
reject suitors since she was a girl?! Kaneda jogged faster and
faster.
But the way that Ranko had came up with all those lame
excuses to reject Mousse's proposal, could it be that she really
liked . . .
"You're my idol, man!" a very excited Ranko was laughing
together with Mousse as they danced past a nearby rooftop like a
pair of lovebirds and into the distance.
Below them, Kaneda, while staring at them in disbelieve, ran
into a street light.
Prying himself painfull off the post of the street light,
Kaneda cried out in rage after the now distant pair. "RANKO NO
BAKA!!!!!!!!!!"
* * * * * * *
<Hmmm . . . Did I hear something?> Ranko's excitement
cooled down for a moment.
Already out of Kaneda's hearing range and toward the
Hulihanten, Mousse continued on with his wooing.
"Love, ever know that there is a kind of Chinese Noodles
that can be served cold?" Mousse whispered seductively into her
ear.
The hunger driven Ranko became excited once more as her
worries were forgotten for the moment. "No! Show me!"
Mousse smiled at the easy victory. "I will, Airen, together
with the infamous spicy jellyfish shreds . . ."
"Oh, Mousse!" His "Airen" looked up at him with her large,
starry eyes.
* * * * * * *
Fumming to himself, Kaneda was stomping home in a losy mood.
"Baka! Tomboy! Minx!" He grumbled to himself.
Suddenly a sense of danger that had became even sharper
since Kodachi's obssession with him made him stop abruptly in the
apparently empty street. Kaneda immediately shifted into a
defensive stance, his anger forgotten for the moment. "Show
yourself!" He shouted.
Two blurs shot down from either side of him, prompting him
to leapt backward to dodge. As he landed in a defensive stance,
his expression turned incredulous as he took in the sight of his
assasinants.
They were a pair of insufferably cute girls, around 12 or
so, dressed in Chinese clothes. One of them had brown hair and
carried a staff, as the other one had green hair and carried a
sharpened battle harpoon.
"He very cute . . ." Brown hair observed as she spoke in
broken Japanese.
Green hair looked rather peeved. "Pigtailed one dare rob
our Prized Male when already have cute boy? She greedy minx!"
Kaneda was utterly confused. What the heck were they
talking about? Wait . . . pigtail . . . Prized Male . . . could
they be . . .
"You two are from the Amazon Village, aren't you?" he asked.
"Aiya . . . him not only cute, seems smart too." Green hair
said.
Brown hair took a step forward and said. "I LinLin."
Green hair stepped up as well. "I RanRan."
"We Amazonian sisters! Have come to get Mousse back from
pigtailed minx Ranko!" They stated in union.
"Whoa . . ."
LinLin asked. "What you to Ranko?"
RanRan asked as well. "You minx's husband?"
Kaneda brittled as the memory of Ranko "fawning" over Mousse
re-entered his mind. "Me? Ranko's husband? Ha! That stupid no-good tomboy isn't THAT lucky!!"
LinLin mock whispered to RanRan. "Maybe he concubine: cute
boy no seem strong enough to defeat Ranko." RanRan nodded as
Kaneda facefaulted.
"THE HELL?!"
"Him Japanese: might not follow us rules." RanRan said to
LinLin and turned to Kaneda. "In Amazon Village, woman warrior
can take any man as concubine. But real husband MUST be one who
can defeat her in combat."
Kaneda looked surprised. "But according to Mousse, only
VERY few males in the village can actually outmatch a female in
your village."
"Mousse right, but when some women really love man, they let
men win." LinLin looked indignant, then brightened up as she
continued on the next sentence. "Most, however, marry stronger
martial artists from other villages."
With his curiosity arosed, Kaneda further questioned them.
"Then what happened to the rest of the men in your village?"
RanRan shugged. "If they handsome, or cook well, might get
women take them as concubines. They be ranked under women's real
husbands, though . . ."
Then suddenly, both sisters shifted into battle stances,
startling him. "But concubine or husband, cute boy valuable to
Ranko!" With that, they leapt at him with inhuman speed, weapons
raised as they advanced upon the unarmed boy. "You we kidnap!!"
CLANG!!!
In a movement that neither of the sisters could see, Kaneda
had sent them flying past him and into the air. "Sorry, kids.
You made me do it." Kaneda said as he watched them flying
away.
Suddenly, a blur shot up at the girls, grabbing them both
under its arms as it intercepted them. The figure leapt back
over from a rooftop and landed back in front of him, putting the
stunned girls down as she did so.
"You not bad . . . for boy." A beautiful girl with an
incredibly rich flow of wavy, knee-lenght purple hair stood
before him, smiling michieviously. Curvy and short, but still
very leggy, she had the same type of built as Ranko. Below a
layer of short, purple bangs were a pair of striking, starlit
eyes that were the focus of her pretty face. However, with the
twin buns and other decorative items on her already overvolumious
hair, her beauty was just a tiny hint . . . less relaxed than his
fiancee's carefree style.
"Who are you?!" Kaneda asked.
"I Xian Pu." She smirked unpleasantly. "Mousse's rightful
Airen. LinLin and RanRan Xian Pu's sisters (as in the case that
they studied under the same master). Since you most valuable
concubine of Ranko . . . " She took a step forward. "Xian Pu
need you in plan defeat minx."
Kaneda growled. "I am NOT her concubine, Shampoo!"
Xian Pu lost her cool. "It Xian Pu!"
"That's what I said: Shampoo!"
Shampoo gritted her teeth. Why do these Japanese ALWAYS
mispronounced her name?! But that wasn't important anymore.
"Stupid cute boy defend self!" With that, she attacked.
"Hey!" Kaneda yeped as he desperately tried to block and
dodge a rapid series of punches and kicks, being pushed back all
the while. He quickly realized that she was about to get past
his defence shortly. <Damn! She's GOOD! Must use full strength
. . .>
"Kiya!!!" Getting out of defensive, taking several vicious
strikes as a result, Kaneda punched forward with all his strength
and speed . . . only to find that Shampoo had already leapt over
him. Before he could have reacted, a blow to the back of his
neck knocked him out.
"Hmph, not nearly skilled as Ranko. Definitely minx's
concubine." Shampoo said as she landed lightly. She then picked
up the boy and held him in her arms in the way that a man
sometimes carried a woman. LinLin and RanRan rushed up to her
and asked anxiously. "Shampoo big sister! Cute boy still defeat
us, can he be us husband?"
"Shampoo no object, but he rather old for you two." Shampoo
smirked like an older, playful sister. "Besides, LinLin RanRan
need TWO hushands. Amazonian law no allow for one man have two
wives. Can keep boy as concubine, though . . ." Shampoo's face
turned devious. "After use him to get rid Ranko."
The three scheming girls laughed in anticipation of
defeating their common foe. Then together, they leap up over
onto the rooftops and ran back to their temporary base in Nerima.
* * * * * * *
Kuno Kodachi was in a troubled mood, as she had been since
her sidekicks had told her about how the handsome pigtailed boy
that had embraced her in the showers (see Part Two), of whom she
had later secretly brought pictures of, of whom she had almost
chosen over Kaneda-sama . . . was no other than the masculine
side of that minx Saotome Ranko!?
That . . . pervert!!! How dare she try to sway the Black
Rose's mind from Kaneda-sama by tempting her with that lust-
inducing masculine form? And what of Kaneda-sama? Why did he
allow Ranko to hang around him like that?! Wasn't the feminine
Black Rose a thousand fold more appealing than that half-boy
abonormality?
Obviously, her prince wasn't capable of making his own
decisions. Yes. He needed someone to take charge of his life,
someone who could give him the love that he really needed,
someone like . . . herself, naturally. A scheme to forcibily
remove Kaneda-sama from that horrid wrench was now of outmost
necessity.
Just as she was brainstorming in her own special way, which
involved leaping aimlessly from rooftop to rooftop under a black
cape, laughing occasionally as a feasible idea came into her
head, her train of thought was rudely interrupted by the
frightful sight in front of her.
Kaneda-sama, handsome yet vulnerable in his unconciousness,
was being carried away by three hideous looking Chinese girls
running on a nearby rooftop.
"Lowly Chinese hussies! What do you think you're doing with
my godly prince?!" With that, she shot out a hail of clubs that
she had previously hidden under the cape at them.
Without stopping, Shampoo reached into her volumious purple
hair with one hand and took out about a dozen hairpins while
carrying Kaneda with another. With a flick of her wrist she shot
them out like darts at the incoming projectiles. The hairpins
disrupted the paths of the clubs and nailed the stunned Kodachi
onto the exterior wall of a building as the three girls
disappeared over a higher rooftop.
Gritting her teeth together, the enraged Black Rose swore to
have vengence upon those lowly Chinese sluts and save her prince.
Surely Kaneda-sama would have realized her love then.
* * * * * * *
The grand opening of the Hulihantan was almost a sensation.
Chinese food fans from all around Nerima have come for the
modest-prized but definitely luxurious looking dishes. The Grand
Matriarch, now with her knee-length hair set in dozens of long
pigtails, was acting as the waitress as she chatted with the
diners. The new hair-do, a more dramatic makeup, together with a
black and red Chinese dress, made her look glamorous and
stylistic at the same time as she socialized her way through the
new custumers like a butterfly through a bush of flowers.
Somehow, she appeared to be more inept in talking with the older
custumers, as the younger ones were all slightly taken back by
her sophistication.
Mousse was acting as the cook in the kitchen behind the
counter, cooking with the martial art based moves that was kind
of like Ukyou's. Some of the girls in the restaurant are
giggling and mock-whispering with blushes on their faces while
staring at him. Whenever he finished an order, he placed them
on the front counter for the Grand Matriarch to pick up.
However, he would continually threw dishes of Chinese cusines at
Ranko with great balance, who caught them with equally great
skills. That had to be done quite often, as Ranko would inhale
the food as soon as her chopsticks touched the plate. The
"special treatment" that the handsome cook was giving the
pigtailed girl caused a few random girls to give her jealous
looks while the others were just envious.
Mousse was enjoying the sight of seeing Ranko ate with
absolutely no table-manners, but a lot of animated charm that
resulted from the lack of inhibitions. Wild . . . Ranko's name
was SO fitting to her person. Idly, he wondered how could she
have kept such a tiny waist despite the amount of food that she
had wolved down. Mousse blushed a bit as he thought about how
maybe the "input" was distributed at other more . . . desirable
areas other than the waist . . .
After several hours, the diners began to leave. Mousse
walked over to sit beside Ranko. "So how do you like the food,
Airen?"
"Love it . . ." Ranko said as she breathed out a sigh of
relieve and held a hand to her midsection. "Wow, I've never had
a chance to be THIS full, living with pop all these years . . .
however did you learn to cook like this? I thought you were ust
a martial artist."
Mousse smiled. "Have you forgotton that I'm an Amazonian
male? All males were trained to serve their women counterparts
since an early age, be it cooking, or cleaning, or . . ."
Mousse's smile dimmed just a tiny bit. "It was . . . It . . .
<sigh> A girl in your situation probably won't understand."
Ranko became concerned at seeing Mousse's sudden change of
mood. "What's the matter? C'mon, tell me about it . . . if you
want to."
Mousse smiled a bit, secretly glad that his Airen was
finally showing some emotions toward him. Perhaps Ranko was
actually the sensitive type. Mousse continued to open his heart,
in hopes of getting Ranko to open hers. "Being a man in my
village is like being a woman in your country: no matter how high
you want to aim, you would ultimately have to deal with the fact
that you're just going to end up as a supportive, background
figure of the spouse that you'll eventually have to take. Like
the so called *old maid* in Japan, older men who can't find a
spouse will be laughed at and looked down upon. That's why a
successful Amazonian male have to master ALL the techiniques and
skills needed to serve a wife. Also, an Amazon woman will only
allow one that can defeat her in combat to be her legitimate
husband. And THAT was why I was trained in martial arts, just so
that I can get a *good* wife and not bring shame to my family."
"That's . . . sad, Mousse." Ranko frowned with compassion as
she took in his handsome features. "But surely, someone like you
shouldn't have any girl problem?"
"That remains to be seen . . ." Mousse smiled meaningfully
at Ranko and continued. "But in the past, when I was younger, I
wasn't quite the same as I am now."
"Eh? What do you mean?"
"Well, you see. I was born with this . . . eye problem.
For as long as I can remember of my earlier years, my world was
literally a blur. I have to wear really thick glasses in order
to see, and even with them, I can't see with complete clarity.
The other kids all made fun of me because of my eyesight . . . I
was a loner."
"However, ever since I was three, I have fallen in love with
this really skilled girl, who remains to this day the best female
warrior of her generation in the village. Her name is Xian Pu .
. ."
"Shampoo?" Ranko blinked.
Mousse sweated slightly. "You can call her that too.
Anyway, she was like this beautiful princess to me . . . even
though most of the time I couldn't see her face too clearly. I
told her that I loved her at every turn that I could, but she
insisted that I have to win her hand through combat. After
several losses, mostly due to the fact that I couldn't bring
myself to hit her, she began looking down upon me. The other
girls, who didn't think that I was all that cool to begin with,
also took the oppotunity to look down upon me as well. I was . .
. the village's joke."
Ranko felt sorry for him. She didn't have any friend aside
from Ucchan during her childhood, living on the road with her
father. But to imagine actually having the chance to be among a
group of kids . . . only to be cruelly outcasted by them. That's
. . . scary.
"Finally, last year, I . . . Do you know how come I didn't
seem even remotely surprised by your curse?"
Ranko's eyes widenen as a possibility went through her mind.
"You don't mean you were . . ."
"I . . . like youself, am a victim of Jusenkyo." Mousse
said.
"How . . ."
"Well, as you already know,our village wasn't that far away
from Jusenkyo, and -" his sentence was cut off as a short dagger
shot through the space between them and embedded itself on the
wall. Ranko immediately turned to the direction of the entrance,
but no one could be seen there.
Mousse pucked the dagger out of the wall, and saw a note and
a ticket attached to it. He read it out aloud:
"To Ranko minx from Amazons:
We got you concubine. He be useful to today's show. If no
want something happen to cute boy, come to Amazon Circus Show at
3 this afternoon. Location on ticket-" Before he could have
finished, a pigtailed blur snatched the ticket form him and
bolted out the restaurant door.
It was Shampoo's hand writtings: even now, she wouldn't give
up on him. Mousse sighed as he crushed the note in his palm.
Dammit! And he was just about to further touch his Airen with
his tragic past!
Ranko was way more skilled that Shampoo. She should have no
problem in beating her. But then again, she wasn't nearly as
crafty . . .
"Sorry for taking off, but I've got to go after her!" Having
said that to the Grand Matriarch, he ran out after his Airen.
* * * * * * *
Ranko was running franticly toward her destination, the
circus ticket in her hand. She took a look at the ticket again,
just to make sure:
AMAZON CIRCUS SHOW: A TASTE OF CHINESE ACROBAT AND MAGIC
Special Feature:
THE MAGIC WATER THAT CAN TURN A BOY INTO A FOX!!!!!!!
There were some other boring mumble-jumbo on the ticket as
well, but Ranko wasn't interested in them.
The giant tent of the circus could be seen in the distance.
Lots of yatais and carts selling various foodstuff were moving
away from the empty lot in front of the tent. Music could be
heard, and apparently most of the spectators were already inside
the tent, meaning that the show had begun.
<Oh, my God . . .> Like Mousse had said, Jusenkyo wasn't
that far away from the Amazon Village. The Amazons would have no
difficulties in getting Jusenkyou water to be used in today's
show . . . And to think she was having fun while he was being
kidnapped . . .
"Kaneda!!!" She cried out and ran with all the speed that
she could muster.
* * * * * * *
Inside the tent, a large ring of people were seated around a
circular stage. On the stage were dozens of teenage girls
alternately slipping on and off the stage, all the while
performing various dance-like acrobatic acts that put the
audiences in awe.
**ALRIGHT, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!!!!!** The announcer, a
scholarly looking Chinese girl, spoke up in a slightly accented
Japanese. **NOW IS THE PART THAT YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING
FOR!!!!!***
With that, the girls on the stage all somesaulted to the
sides as the lights darkened. The thumping of Chinese drums
could be heard as the audiences all murmured anxiosly among
themselves. Suddenly, the sound of a metal bell shocked them
out of their murmurings and a strong light was casted upon the
centre of the stage, on which was a glass tank with a giant
watertap above it. Inside the glass tank was a boy who was tied
up and gagged, and was withering in helpless anger. The
audiences were all murmuring among themselves:
"Wow!!" "He's quite a knock-out!" "Is he really going to
turn into a fox?" "A handsome youko . . . why does this seem
familiar?" "Nah, they said it's the water that will change him."
"Why does he have to be tied up?" "He seemed to struggling
desperately . . ." "Nah, it's just an act."
The announcer spoke up again. **THIS TAP HERE IS FILLED
WITH A MAGICAL WATER FROM CHINA THAT CAN TURN PEOPLE INTO FOXES.
WHEN WE TURN ON THE TAP, THIS MAGICAL TRANSFORMATION SHALL OCCUR,
WHICH CAN BE SEEN WITH UTMOST CLARITY THROUGH THE GLASS TANK!**
An acrobat girl skipped onto the giant watertap and began
turning it as Kaneda's eyes widened. Drops of water dripped down
from he opening of the tab as he cowered back against the glass
in alarm.
Suddenly, a strong gush of water poured down from the tab,
and Kaneda squeezed is eyes shut, awaiting his fate to be cursed
. . .
"DON'T YOU DARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" A familiar shrill scream,
accompanied by the fact that he was still dry, prompt Kaneda to
open his eyes. It was Ranko, kicking off the mouth of the tap so
that the water now shot out horizontally instead of vertically
down at him. He chose the oppotunituy to push over the tank with
his side to avoid the water splashing back down when subsiding.
The audiences, however, were hit by the water. Both Ranko
and Kaneda were startled to see that that they remained human.
"What-?!" Ranko's question was immediately cut off as she
narrowly dodged a shot of water splashing past her.
Below her, Shampoo was aiming a huge, spraying hose at her,
a evil glint in her eyes. "Ranko tricked! Water in tap just
plain water! Real Jusenkyo water in hose, which Shampoo now use
on minx!!!" With that, she kept on aiming the hose at the now
desperately feeing Ranko. "Stay still so Shampoo turn you
fox!!!"
"What do you think I am, stupid?!" Ranko yeped as she
dodged spurt after spurt of cursed water as she leapt from rope
to rope in midair. <Oh, man! It's that really skilled girl
from the Combat Free Your Airen Ceremony! This is gonna be
tough->
"Airen, look out!!" Riding a leaping tiger, Mousse soomed
by and grabbed Ranko as he use the large animal as a shield to
block the water. The two leapt down to the ground unharmed as
the tiger shrinked and transformed into a tiger-stripped fox.
"Wow!!! The magic water is real!" The audiences clapped
obliviously as Ranko and Mousse faced off against the stunned
Shampoo.
"Mousse . . ." Shampoo's voice rised as anger took over.
"Why you help Ranko? You really no like Shampoo?!"
"That," Mousse spoke up dryly as he stared coldly at her.
"Would have been an understatement."
"BUT WHY?! Mousse pursued Shampoo for years! Thought you
love Shampoo!!"
"I LIKE*D* you, in the past." Mousse replied as he ran a
hand arrogantly through his bangs, purposely denying his past
feelings. "I despise you now."
Shampoo broke down in tears as she sank to her knees. "Why
despise Shampoo now, when Shampoo just starting love Mousse?"
"Oh, c'mon now, Shampoo. Why come crawling back?" Mousse's
voice turned bitter and slightly malicious. "After all, who was
the one who called me a blind wimp, huh? Who was the one who
teamed up with her damned friends to make me the village's joke,
huh? Who was the one who said that her bloodline couldn't afford
to be tainted by a weakling like me, huh?"
"Shampoo never though . . . Mousse hurt . . ." The Chinese
girl sobbed. "Mousse always come back, no matter what Shampoo
did . . . Shampoo thought . . . he no mind . . ."
Some of the audiences were sobbing. "Oh, my . . ." "Poor
girl . . ." "How tragic this is . . ."
"Then I supposed you thought that I wouldn't mind getting
cursed too, didn't you?" Mousse asked in a cold voice.
Ranko looked shocked as Shampoo looked downcast.
############################FLASHBACK############################
A year ago, at Jusenkyo.
A still bespectacled Mousse was training vigorously by
himself on the bamboo poles. While he could defeat his love
easily with his deadly armed and unarmed techniques, he MUST be
extremely agile in order to restrain Shampoo without hurting her.
{Shampoo, I shall win your love soon!} the boy spoke out
aloud as he performed a kata on a single bamboo pole.
{Mousse!} A child-like voice called out to him from below.
Mousse looked down, and his eyes could be seen brightening
up even from beneath the glasses. {Shampoo!!}
Shampoo smiled at him, playful as a nymphet. {Are you
training once again in hopes of winning my hand?}
Mousse looked embrassed. {Eh, well . . . that is . . .}
{Oh, Mousse-chan! I think it's REALLY manly of you to go
through all this for me!} Shampoo purred seductively as Mousse
almost suffered from a heart attack. Shampoo, his divine
goddess, actually . . . actually . . . COMPLIMENTED . . .
him?!?!?!?! She obviously liked him much better than she let on!
The boy stood on top of the bamboo pole with a stupid smile on
his face as his mind skipped years ahead into the bright future
that he and his love will have together in their married life.
What seems too good to be true, usually is.
While he was stil fantasizing, he didn't notice how Shampoo
was sawing on a bamboo pole with a long dagger . . . of which he
happened to be standing on.
{What-} Not being able to leap off the cut bamboo pole in
time, he fell into the Jusenkyo spring below him with a startled
cry.
SPLASH!!!
{Hmph!} Shampoo reverted back to her usual demeanor toward
Mousse as she stared into the bubbling pool of water. With a
splash, a blur flew out of the water and landed on a bamboo
pole, its now perfect vison reluctanly took in the face of its
beloved with utmost clarity . . .
. . . and saw the scornful look in her beautiful eyes for
the first time.
{See if you EVER dare to try getting my hand in marriage
again!} Shampoo smirked in such a cruelly thoughtless way that
the sight instantly destroyed whatever illusions that the
creature had of her. Satisfied, she turned and leapt away,
leaving the stunned creature perched on top of the bamboo pole.
#################################################################
Mousse stared hard at the shame-filled Shampoo.
"Shampoo very mean, she know that now." She spoke up
pleadingly. "But Mousse, in strange way curse help Mousse get
new eyesight too . . ."
"Yes . . ." Mousse spoke up in a cold voice. "And that's
EXACTLY why I hadn't taken any active revenge against you. You
do anything to my Airen, and I just might change my mind."
Shampoo seemed frustrated. "But minx already have dozens
lovers! You no can choose her over virtuous Shampoo!!"
Ranko fumed at hearing that. "I'm NOT a minx, you deranged,
curse inducing, hygene product! And how can you possibly expect
Mousse to keep on loving you after what you did to him?!
Shampoo narrowed her eyes. "Mousse no marry outsider who
only won cause she untied Mousse before ceremony formally
started! Everyone show self!!"
With that, all the acrobat girls from the circus, now
carrying various weapons, came out and formed a circle around
Ranko and Mousse. Ranko immediately recognized them as the other
girls from the Combat Free Your Airen Ceremony. LinLin and
RanRan positioned themselves beside Shampoo as she smirked evily.
"Now we show minx what REAL warrior women can do in fair fight."
The audiences began piling out.
"Okay, I'm done watching." "Guess I should go too . . ."
"Only an idiot would stay and get caught in a rumble." "Teenage
girls today . . . brrr . . ." "So much for feminism . . ."
"There are at least a hundred of you against one of me and
you call it FAIR?!" Ranko protested.
Shampoo shugged. "When Ranko rob prized male from village,
minx set self up against all us."
Mousse glared at Shampoo as his hands disappeared beneath
the sleeves of his robe. "Shampoo, I gave my warning . . ."
Shampoo looked sad as she stared at him. "Sorry, Airen.
Know this will hurt, but Shampoo no let you bewitched by unworthy
minx, neither will they . . . CHARGE!!!!"
With that, the warrior girls all raised their weapons and
rushed forward. Ranko immediately got into a defensive stance.
But just before the enraged Amazions could have reached her,
Mousse, who was standing right beside her, suddenly shot out at
them with dozens of chain-attached metal weights that were
previously hidden under his robes.
Ranko's eyes widened in amazement. <He had managed to hide
ALL these under his robes without moving so fluidly all the
while?!"
The ones closed to them were immediately hit by the hard
projectiles and franticly tried to back away. The ones from
behind, however, leap over the attack to come down at Ranko . . .
who immediately began pounding on the less skillful girls.
Eventually, however, their superior numbers began to press her
back. Among them, two younger girls were pressing her the
hardest.
"Stupid pigtailed minx, LinLin RanRan KILL!!!" They shouted
in union as they and the others pressed their attacks
Ranko called out as she franticly looked around while
dodging various Chinese weapons. "Mousse! I really need some
help here . . . MOUSSE?!" Her eyes almost bugged out as she saw
what her suitor was up to.
Sawing off the thick robes on the edge of the glass tank,
Kaneda was fumming angrily. "That manaic! How dare she-"
SPLASH!!!!
Narrowly leaping away from a slash of water, Kaneda landed
facing a bucket carrying Mousse. "What do you think you're
doing?!"
Mousse smirked unpleasantly as he pulled back the bucket
with the "Drowned Fox Spring" logo on it. "You don't deserve
Ranko, you who would hammer even his own fianc‚ . . . TAKE
THIS!!"
With that, he splashed the bucket's contents at Kaneda, who
dodged the water by leaping up. Before he could come down again,
however, Mousse had thrown two other water carrying buckets at
him, shouting all the while: "YOU'RE JUST LIKE SHAMPOO!!!"
Before the water cold have hit the falling Kaneda, a
pigtailed blur zoomed by and saved him just in time. With Kaneda
under her arm, she moved between the Amazon girls' attacks with
all the speed that she had.
"Ranko! Let go! I've to go trash that Chinese gigglo for
good!!" Kaneda struggled angrily in her grip.
Ranko, who has to dodge practically everybody's blows by
now, snapped under stress. "YOU want to trash HIM?! You who had
just allowed yourself to be kidnapped by those puny girls?!
Dream on!!!"
Kaneda didn't take it well. "What?! Are you trying to say
that I'm weak again?!"
"That goes without saying! How you can be a heir to
Anything Goes, I'll never know!"
"Ranko, you STUPID-"
Just then, Shampoo was coming down at the couple with a
bonbori strike as Ranko's eyes widened. "Minx die-"
CLANG!!!!!!!
Without looking, Kaneda threw a giant mallet that instantly
knocked the intruding girl away as he continued on.
"JERK!!! You two-timing minx!! If you want a stronger guy,
go for that Chinese fruitcake for all I care!"
"I CHOSE WHO I WANT, OKAY?!" Ranko yelled as she swatted
the incoming LinLin and RanRan aside. "And who are you to call
me a two-timer when you have strung Ryoko and Kodachi along all
this time?!"
"Ryoko is just a friend!! And Kodachi's-"
"Hohohohohoho!!!" The now leopard-clad gymnast entered the
fray, as did all the combat capable "Kaneda-sama admirers" of
Furinkan High. "Kaneda-sama! We've come to save you from the
vile-crutches of . . . SAOTOME RANKO?! You were the one behind
this?! HOW DARE YOU KIDNAP KANEDA-SAMA WHEN YOU HAVE ALREADY GOT
THE UNPARALLEL LUCK OF LIVING UNDER THE GLOW OF HIS
HOUSEHOLD?!?!? The Black Rose shall punish thee!!!"
"Oh, boy . . ." The already preoccupied Ranko groaned.
With that, she whipped out her ribbon and charged Ranko as
the untrained Furinkan girls charged the trained Amazon Warriors.
The latter group looked amused . . . until the Furinkan girls
began throwing Kodachi's homemade explosive gymnatic balls at
them. Then the battle became serious.
Kodachi snapped at Ranko with her ribbon, intending to
separate her from Kaneda. However, before it could have
connected, a sharp Chinese dagger rapidly sliced it into pieces.
In a split second motion, that dagger was pressed against her
throat.
"Don't you hurt my . . ." Mousse's angry look turned into
one of awe as he took in the long, delicate dark brows, the
heavily lashed large eyes that were further lengthened by the
natural highlights at their corners, the tall ridged but delicate
nose, and the delicate, crimson lips that made her pale skin all
the more pale. Mousse couldn't help but to involuntarily lower
his dagger, not willing to scar a beauty so striking such as he
had never seen before with his new vision.
A loud "BOOM!" could be head in the destance.
Kodachi, meanwhile, was feeling very much the same thing.
Never before had she seen a MAN who could have defeated her so
easily. And not only was he so unbelievably handsome, but those
eyes, those unbelievably striking dark eyes, were now softening
in . . . admiration? Of her?
BOOM!!! Screams and the sound of people panicking could be
heard this time.
Sparks of light were raining down beside them, as if
celebrating a beginning . . .
Sparks?!
Broken out of their stupidor, the two turned to the source
of the sparks and gapsed.
One of the explosive balls had onto a pack of fireworks
positioned at the side of the circus, and its own tiny explosion
was about to trigger that of the fireworks . . . Kaneda, being
the closed to the firwork, had malleted Ranko down to the ground
and then covered her smaller flame with his back. Shampoo had
immediately done the same thing for LinLin and RanRan, while the
rest of the girls quickly flew themselves flat down as well.
That left the two of them still standing . . .
KA-BOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
* * * * * * *
That night, Doctor Hinako's clinic had broken its record of
having the most patients in a single day.
"My. I know that a martial artist's path is always pathed
with pain . . . but shouldn't you kids love yourselves just a
little bit more than to do something THIS silly?" Hinako frowned
as she applied some medication along Kaneda's burned back.
Kaneda winced at the pain. "Doctor, it wasn't my idea to
have some girls throwing explosive balls around!" Kaneda glared
at his somewhat charred classmates, who all looked acutely
embarassed.
"Sorry. But the explosive balls were Kodachi's idea . . ."
"Yeah! She was definitely the one to be blamed for this,
that psycho."
Kaneda ignored them and continued talking to the doctor.
"Besides, if I don't have to protect that tomboy, I would have
made it away unharmed."
"Baka!" Ranko, mostly uninjured . . . save for this huge
bump at the back of her head, snapped. "I myself could have
gotten both of us out there in time! But NOOOO, you just HAD to
be the hero, and you ain't even doing it right! YOU DON'T SAVE
GIRLS BY HITTING THEM OVER THE HEAD WITH A MEGA HAMMER!!!!!"
"How else was I supposed to get you down, stupid?! If you
had continued running, both of us would have been blasted!"
After bandaging Kaneda's burns, Hinako left the couple alone
to their quarreling and walked over to check on Shampoo. She was
currently unconcious, with LinLin and RanRan, as well as some
other charred looking Amazons gathered around the bed she was
laid on.
"Doctor, how Shampoo big sister do?" The twins asked
worriedly.
"She wasn't burned as bad as Kaneda-kun, but something had
impacted with the back of her head really hard, probably during
the explosion. That was the cause of her unconciousness."
Doctor Hinako frowned as she ran her hand along the purple haired
bump. "I don't know if I can fix that . . ."
"It's alright, good doctor. I'll fix it." A beautiful but
somewhat weary voice from behind the doctor called out, startling
her. She turned around, and saw a Chinese girl with pigtailed
hair, sharp make-up and a stylistic dress standing there. The
somewhat charred Amazon girls all gapsed at seeing her. "Grand
Matriarch!"
Ranko and Kaneda were startled out of their quarreling at
hearing that. They had thought that the grand matriarch of the
Amazons would have been . . . old. But then again, given the
display of cleverness that she had shown last night, this girl
was certainly up to the task.
The girl bowed formally at Doctor Hinako. "I, Khu Lon, as
the Grand Matriarch of the Amazon Village, have to thank you for
your medical treatment to our young warriors. Please tell us
what they owe you and I shall pay."
Hinako, who was slightly taken back by her formality,
chuckled in a friendly fashion. "It's no big deal, Cologne-san.
I mean, I was just doing my job as a Doctor. Besides, those who
had received treatment had paid already."
"You're too kind, doctor." Cologne said as she straightened
up and smiled gratefully, deciding to ignore the
mispronounciation of her name. She then turned to the uneasy
looking Amazon girls all around the clinic, and spoke up in a
slightly stern voice. "You kids have caused enough trouble in
this place already. I want you all going back to te village by
tomorrow."
"But we still no defeat Ranko, Grand Matriarch!" Some of
the girls exclaimed. "It bad for village's image."
"A true warrior must know when to accept defeat, and move on
to the next battle accordingly. Ranko had proven once again
tonight that she was obviously superior in skill, and as such,
has the right to earn the Prized male of our village. If you
really want to have Mousse as your groom so much, then challenge
Ranko again after an ACTUAL training." Cologne's voice carried a
hint of distaste. "The last thing that our village's image will
need are headstrong girls making spectacles of themselves for the
outside world to see."
The girls all hung their heads and said nothin more.
Cologne's slender fingers began rapidly hitting various
spots on Shampoo's head as if typing one handedly on a computer.
After a two finger strike at the very back of the purple-haired
head, Shampoo began to come to.
"Aiya . . ." Shampoo winced as she tried opening her eyes.
"Stupid bomb throw-" She froze as she saw Cologne's face looking
down at her.
"Shampoo . . ."
Shampoo shot up immediately. "What Hiba-chan do here?!"
Hinako blinked. "Hiba-chan?"
Kaneda gapsed. "GREATGRANDMOTHER?!?!!??!"
Ranko whistled a bit. "Guess she got brain-damaged somehow
during the bomb blast . . ."
"Minx no smart off Shampoo! Cologne really Shampoo's Hiba-chan!" LinLin and RanRan defended their "big sister" as Ranko
looked amused.
"And how's that possible? Cologne didn't look old enough to
be more than an early wed mother, let alone a greatgrandmother."
Mousse, who had been deep in though while sitting at a
corner all this time, replied absently as he reflected upon the
beautatious vision that had mysteriously disappeared after the
explosion. "With Jusenkyo, anything is possible."
Ranko looked curiously at the glamourous but obviously
youthful girl as the latter turned away to speak to Shampoo.
"I am here to ensure that Mousse can sucessfully woo Ranko as his
bride, little one."
Shampoo looked stunned. "Hiba-chan . . . how you do that?!
You no care about Shampoo's happiness?!"
Cologne sighed. "If I don't care about your happiness, I
won't even be here in the first place. Shampoo, you are only
pursuing Mousse now to sooth your own wounded pride of how the
boy of whom you thought of as your slave can actually get a life
without you. That isn't how an honorable person, let alone an
Amazon, should behave toward what should be a lifelong
compainion."
"That lie! Shampoo LOVE Mousse!" the girl protested.
"Then why didn't you love him way back when he couldn't see?"
the woman-girl asked.
"I . . . Shampoo immature, that why! She no know what good
for her! She know now, and Mousse the one for her!"
"But are you the one for him?" Cologne asked.
"What . . .?"
"No way will she ever be the one for me again." Mousse said
absently from the corner that he was thinking on.
"Well?" Cologne stared into Shampoo's eyes.
"Mousse not know what good for him." Shampoo hmphed and
turned her embarassed face away. "But Shampoo will make him
realize love and get him back to village to be wed."
"Well, Mousse is quite determined in staying in Japan until
Ranko has agreed to wed him . . ."
Shampoo suddenly smirked, as if realizing something. "Then
Shampoo stay in Japan till Mousse agree wed Shampoo."
Cologne was taken back. "What-"
Suddenly playful, Shampoo put both arms around Cologne's
shoulder and hugged her like a child to a mother. "Hiba-chan
opened new restaurant, lots of work, must need waitress: that
Shampoo do. She work, earn living, woo Mousse." she mock pleaded
like a spoiled child while blinking her large eyes. "Please?"
Cologne sighed. She knew that she was about to give in to
this seemingly angelic child (to her) once more, against her
better judgement. "Well, you are pesistant in your pursue, even
if it is set on a wrong target . . . All right, if you are that
desperate, I guess I could only allow you to work in the
restaurant during our stay in Japan. But," She looked Shampoo in
the eye. "I can warn you now. I won't go easy on your work
load."
"Aiya! Shampoo handle ANY workload as long as she with
Mousse!" Shampoo exclaimed excitedly as she skipped around in
excitement, totally oblivious to how Mousse wasn't sharing her
joy one bit. Instead, he was still deep in thought.
<So what if she was beautiful? From what the others said,
surely she couldn't match Ranko's personality now, could she?
Looks ain't everything . . .> Mousse stole a look at the bouncing
Amazon. <I should know this better than anyone else.> The image
of that glamourous, almost aristocratic face forced its way into
his mind again. This time, he had the will to force it away.
Standing up, he walked over to the resigned looking Cologne
and whispered something, she nodded and he walked over to his
Airen.
"Ranko, why don't I walk you home?" He soothed her with that
charming eye-contact of his, once again melting down her futile
resistance.
"Well, it won't hurt-" Ranko was abruptly cut off by the
shadow of Kaneda's hammer that was now looming over her. "Then
again, maybe it will after all . . ."
Putting his hammer back into whatever dimension that he had
whipped it out from, Kaneda said to Ranko without taking his eyes
off Mousse: "You go ahead, I'll come after you."
Ranko sighed, and left the clinic hastily with a wave at
Hinako. "Bye, Doctor!"
Kaneda glared hotly up at the one who had almost cursed him
and hissed. "Stay away from her: she's MY fiancee, not yours.
You do so much as looking at her funny again, and I'll gladly
plug out those pretty eyes of yours."
Mousse looked down at him coldly and retorted. "She's MY
Airen, not yours. You do so much as laying a finger on her
again, and I'll gladly chop off that skinny arm of yours."
Just when the two boys were about to get into blows, Cologne
and Hinako each walked over and hit a pressure point on Mousse
and Kaneda, freezing them in place.
"This is not the place to make a scene, young man." Cologne
chided as Mousse nodded with some difficulty. Then she hit
another pressure point, and he was once again mobile. She then
turned to Hinako once more.
"I guess we should go before we overstay our welcome.
Thanks for your kindness again." she then turned to the young
Amazon troop. "Follow me." With that, Cologne and the rest of
the Amazons left the restaurant like a troop, with Shampoo giving
innocent, pleading looks to the unintersted Mousse.
After they had left for some time, Hinako freed the fumming
Kaneda and gently childed him. "A true martial artist must not
use his skills for senseless bloodshed, Kaneda-kun."
Kaneda was still fumming. "But that gigolo was making
passes at my fiancee!"
"But I thought you had told me that it was *not binding*?"
Hinako asked with amusment in her eyes.
Kaneda blushed, realizing that he had reveal more than he
should. "Wow, look at the time! Got to go, Doctor!" With that
he hurriedly left the place.
Hinako sighed as she prepared to close up the clinic for the
night. <Young people, always so hesistant in revealing their
feelings to their beloved . . .> It was then that the image of a
dignified looking man with long hair and mustauch entered her
mind, making her blush. <Oh, Mister Tendo! How I wish you would
have reveal your true yearings for me! I would have taken the
first step in our relationship, but . . . but . . .> She blushes
and hugged herself. <But I'm a woman for crying out loud . . .>
With that, the usually practical doctor wasted the night
away with idle thoughts and possibily one-sided dreams.
* * * * * * *
Back in the Kuno Mansion, a slighly charred Kodachi was
turning restlessly on her black rose patterned bed as she reflect
upon the earlier event. She couldn't believe that she would have
allowed that stranger to gave her such strange sensations, when
Kaneda-kun was the one and only prince for her.
<He admires your beauty, you know, like Kaneda had never
done before and never will do.> Her mind told herself.
But then she hardened. <No! I shall not be swayed from my
devotion to Kaneda-sama again! I won't allow for a repeat of the
humiliation that Ranko slut had put me through!!>
With that, she press herself against a large side poster of
Kaneda on the wall at the side of the bed and willed herself to
sleep.