A Ranma 1/2 / She-Hulk crossover

Emerald Daze

Day 3 
--------
By She-Hulk (brobinso@neocomm.net)



	"No way!" Jennifer punctuated her statement by thumping the table firmly.
"I will not go there!"

	# I don't understand. #

	Jen shook a fist at the author and scowled. "Like hell you don't! I'm not
going to a place that gives you that much power!"

	# What power? #

	"The power to have me turn into some weird animal every time I get
splashed with cold water!" She crossed her arms over her chest and stared at
nothing. Granted, she would have stared at something, but the page was a
little blank at the moment. 

	# That's in Jusenkyo! Not Nerima! Besides, having you fall into a cursed
spring would cause me more problems than you. #

	"How on earth did you come up with that?"

	# If you fell into a spring then I would have to explain that in every
story that follows. I hate playing catch up. Look, I promise I won't drop
you into a spring, okay? #

	"Is that supposed to convince me? I can't trust you any further than I can
throw the moon. I'm not going, so there!"

	# Have we forgotten Shibaru and Utsu so soon? # 

	She-Hulk scowled at the author. "Your going to use that line once too often."

	Shibaru appeared behind Jennifer holding a length of rope.

	# Look out! Behind you! #

	Jennifer jumped out of the way as Shibaru tried to catch her. Shibaru sent
a threatening look to the author and started to disappear. A vortex started
to form, but it was too late. She was gone.

	# Damn! Missed! #

	She-Hulk looked at the author and then to the spot where the Shibaru had
appeared. Something was fishy. "What was that?! Why did you warn me?"

	# Uh...a well developed sense of fair play? #

	"Try again."

	# Nothing, really. I just didn't feel like writing another hentai scene,
that's all. #

	Jennifer's laugh was derisive. "I don't think so. Your exact words, in a
panicked voice I might add, were: Look out. Behind you. Then you went on to
say; Damn. Missed. Now I think you're evading the question and are hiding
information."

	# I hate lawyers. #

	"You don't have to love me, just spill your guts." 

	# Fine. The twins are loose. #

	"Define 'loose.'

	# Loose, as in free. Unbound. Unrestrained. As in, we don't know where
they are. #

	Jennifer froze and shook her head. "I did not hear that. Tell me I did not
hear that!"

	# You did not hear that. #
	
	Jen drew a deep breath and let it out slowly. "The important thing is to
remain calm. Now, how did this happen?"

	# I'm not sure. I only realized something was wrong when Utsu popped in
yesterday. Kahm's out of town this weekend and I hadn't looked at her
computer. My guess is that one of the shields failed and they slipped out. #

	"Can't you just write them back into their fiction?" Jennifer kept
glancing around nervously.

	# I wish it were that simple. They show up at random. #
	
	"Isn't there anyway to catch them?"

	# I guess we could use you as bait. #

	A piece of paper fluttered down from nowhere. Jennifer snagged it and
groaned when she read the message. "Oh wonderful! It's from the twins. They
say that using me as bait won't work as they intend to enjoy the thrill of
the hunt to it's fullest and that means catching me off guard. Apparently
they've made a bet between each other as to who will catch me first."
Jennifer crushed the paper and absently tossed it at the author. It burned
up in the energy field. 

	# I wish you would stop doing that. #

	Jennifer turned suddenly and faced the author. "All right. If they're
hunting me then I won't make this easy on them. I'll just have to keep
bouncing around and hope that they can't find me. You work on catching them
again."

	# Does this mean you'll do Ranma? #

	Jen narrowed her eyes at the phrasing. "I'll go kill demons, yes. Just
keep me away from Jusenkyo."

	# No problem. #



	Ranma caught the descending hammer easily and took it away from Akane.
"Will you cut it out!?"

	Akane let out an inarticulate scream of rage and charged him. As he jumped
back to dodge her he was struck from above as something fell on him. 

	She-Hulk sat up, mumbling to the vortex. "At least you broke my fall this
time." She spotted the legs stick out beside her and realized what she'd
landed on. Jen moved off of the boy and knelt beside him, feeling for a
pulse. "Thank goodness! He's still alive. Hey kid! Come on, wake up so we
don't have to finish this story in a hospital." Jen looked up as young girl
knelt beside them. She was holding a bucket of water.

	Akane tried not to stare at the woman as she poured the water over Ranma.
Ranma gasped and jerked up. "That's cold!" Ranma was glaring at Akane, but
then she saw the large green hand move into her field of vision. She gave a
little cry of surprise and scrambled back.

	Jennifer sighed and sent a mental rant to the author. <Do we have to go
through this in every story?>

	# Yes. #

	"I'm sorry about landing on you. My name is ....."

	
	Soun came in from his morning walk and seated himself at the table. Kasumi
passed him a cup of tea and he thanked her, turning to Akane. "How was
you're training this morning?"

	Jennifer sipped her tea and wondered how anyone could be so oblivious to a
seven foot tall green woman at their breakfast table. Ranma was frowning at
her again and she answered his...her unspoken question. "No, I didn't fall
into the cursed spring of giant green woman. It's a long story, but the
short of is that I received a transfusion of blood from my cousin. He had
been exposed to a tremendous amount of gamma radiation, thus my change."

	Ranma looked at Akane who just shrugged. "Never heard of it. I don't think
we've gotten that far in science class."

	Nabiki slid around to the window and began to snap pictures of their
strange visitor. No way was she going to pass up this opportunity!

	Ranma absently tapped her cup with a chopstick. "When are the demons
supposed to arrive?"

	Jennifer didn't answer as the floor beneath her had started to shimmer.
She leapt away as a hole appeared where she'd been sitting. She-Hulk
motioned everyone back as a head popped through the opening. Utsu scowled at
Jen and tossed her long black hair over her shoulder with a sniff. She
disappeared as the vortex dropped on her.

	# Damn it! #

	Jen watched the floor return to normal and the vortex dissipate. "Nice
try. At least you didn't waste time describing the vortex."

	# I have to describe what's happening to the readers. #

	Akane spoke hesitantly. "Who was that?"

	Jen ran a hand through her hair and wondered how to explain. "Just
somebody I'm trying to avoid. Anyway, the demons should break into this
anime soon so we should-"

	A loud crashing sound in the distance had everyone running. Well, not
everyone. Just Akane , Ranma and Nabiki, who was carrying bags of camera
equipment. And Jennifer, of course. Genma and Soun, considering themselves
to be the wisest of the group decided that a game of chess would be perfect
right now. Kasumi smiled happily and went back to dusting the house.

	The horde had arrived, needless to say and they had landed right in the
center of the city. They had also ran into two problems. One being that of
Upperclassman Kuno. He charged one of the demons and it evaporated under the
blade of his bokken.  He swung around as another demon approached. "Turn
Hell-hound! Flee before the wrath of Kuno!" 

	Ranma groaned and yanked Kuno out of the way before another demon could
attack him from behind. Kuno was ecstatic to discover the identity of his
savior. "Oh, my Pig-tailed Goddess! Such is your love that you would risk
your life to save me! I am unworthy!"

	"You got that right." Ranma muttered darkly. Akane gasped and everyone
turned to find her pointing at the horde with a shocked expression. 

	Several of the fiends had been trying to catch a small black piglet. It
was incredibly fast so they weren't having much luck until the leader of
this pack appeared. He was huge, standing well over twenty feet tall and he
caught the darting animal easily. Akane saw her beloved P-chan captured and
thus the second problem that the demons faced, now developed.

	Jennifer watched as Akane charged the demon leader, a huge mallet clenched
in her hands. She looked at the bracelet on her wrist and wished for a
weapon. Jen groaned as she rose into the air again and her normal clothes
disappeared. She heard Kuno gasp as the new outfit formed and she sank to
the ground again. "Will you stop with the weird effects? Where did you come
up with such a crazy idea, anyway?" 

	# Later. I think you have more important things to worry about now. #

	She-Hulk glanced down at herself and groaned. She was dressed in a green
and black gi. An elaborately embroidered dragon curled up her leg and waist
ending as it curved over her shoulder. Jen stared at the red eye and
muttered darkly. "All of this, just so I can fight the things with my bare
hands? Why did I bother?" The sound of an anguished scream filled the air
and they looked up in time to see the demon leader  disintegrate.

	 Akane swept P-chan into her arms and raced back to the group. "What are
you guys waiting for?"

	The demons were bearing down on them and Ranma and Kuno rushed to meet
them. Jen sighed and followed. When in Rome....

	Jen crunched the face of a demon into the ground and glanced up to see
Ranma literally punch one of the demons to death. She couldn't see Ranma's
fists, only the effects they were having on the demon. A tingle raced across
Jennifer's nerves and she reacted without thinking. Her foot swung out and
back, catching a demon in the face and knocking him into the side of a
building. 

	Akane brought her hammer down and grinned as the demon gave a defeated
moan and vanished. P-chan was guarding her back, though Akane thought she
was guarding him.  Nabiki continued to film and estimate projected profits
from this little battle. The transformation scene alone would be worth a
fortune!

	Kuno slashed his way through the demons and laughed madly. Ranma shivered
as she heard him. <God that's creepy! He sounds like Kodachi!> She saw three
demons converge on him and dropped the demon she was pummeling to help.

	She-Hulk had also seen Kuno go down and she leapt over a group of demons
to reach him. She pulled two of them off and slammed them together. They
made a gross squishing sound and disappeared. Kuno killed the other one and
threw himself at Jennifer's feet. "O' Emerald Queen! You have saved the life
of Kuno! I am yours to command!" 

	Jennifer blinked and hoped this didn't mean what she thought it meant.
"Uh....no problem. I would have done the same for any of the others." Still
Kuno knelt and Jennifer shot a desperate look at Ranma, who was smirking at
them. 

	"I don't suppose you know how to deal with this?"

	Ranma snickered. "Nope. You're on your own." She jumped back into the fray.

	She-Hulk sighed and lifted Kuno from the ground, gripping the lapel of his
Kendo jacket. "I command you to get back in there and start fighting again.
Only this time, watch your back!" She threw him into the battle.

	Akane felt the hammer torn from her grasp and looked up into the face of
one of the ugliest demons she'd seen yet. It crushed her hammer and she
backed up a little reaching for another. The demon caught her in it's arms
and tossed her over it's shoulder, knocking the air from her lungs. She saw
P-chan racing after them as she blacked out. P-chan tried to attack, but he
was knocked out as another demon landed on him.


	Ranma's kick crushed the demon's chest and she didn't bother to watch it
vanish as she turned to face her next opponent. The battle field was empty
save for the ruins of the buildings and the debris littering the street.
She-Hulk was walking towards her.

	"I guess that's the last of them. Funny, I thought there was more." 

	Ranma laughed and shook her head. "I thought so too. I guess in the heat
of the-"

	A high-pitched squeal had them looking down to find P-chan at their feet.
He squealed again, a frantic urgent sound and Jennifer laughed slightly.
"You know, I think he might be trying to tell us some thing." Ranma ducked
into a shop and returned carrying a tea kettle. She lifted it over her head
and sighed in relief as he returned to normal. He poured the rest over
P-chan and Ryoga gasped and ran behind a trash can.

	"Ranma! Akane's been kidnapped by one of those demons!" He began to dress
and Jennifer wondered where the backpack had come from.

	"What? Why didn't you stop it?" 

	"I tried! What did you expect me to do in my other form?" Ryoga settled
the backpack on his shoulders and pointed in the direction he'd seen the
demon take Akane. "They went that way. Let's go." Ryoga was jerked to a halt
as Ranma caught his backpack.

	"Are you absolutely sure they went that way?" Ryoga nodded impatiently.
"Then we'll go this way." He dragged Ryoga after him as he started off in
the opposite direction. Ranma looked at She-Hulk as she caught up with them.
"Ryoga can't find his way out of a paper sack."

	Kuno didn't see them leave as he searched for his pig-tailed goddess.

	
	Akane opened her eyes and screamed. The demon jerked away and frowned at
her. Akane looked around wildly and tried to figure out where she was. She
appeared to be in an abandoned warehouse. The faint smell of fish lingered
and she realized that she was in the old fish market. Her hands were tied
above her and she was hanging several feet off of the floor. The dull ache
in her shoulders changed to a steady throb as the demon pushed her and
started her swinging. 

	She groaned and the demon laughed. "What do you want with me?" He reached
out and grabbed the front of her gi. The sound of the cloth ripping echoed
through the empty building.

	"No!!!"


	Shibaru stepped into the anime and smiled when she saw the picture before
her. Akane was trying to evade the hands of a demon. She smiled as the demon
managed to pull the rest of her clothing away. <I think I'll take over from
here.>

	Akane heard the crack of a whip and watched the demon fall back with a
relieved sigh. Her relief was short lived as the owner of the whip stepped
into the light. Akane saw the black leather outfit and hoped that she was
one of the good guys. 

	Shibaru let her whip fly and ripped the demon to shreds. The body
disintegrated and she turned to Akane. She smiled at the young girl and
began to untie her.

	Akane gasped as the blood flowed to her arms and Shibaru began to briskly
rub her back and shoulders. "Amateurs! That position is totally unsuitable
for prolonged activities. I can't stand sloppy workmanship, can you?"

	Akane shook her head blankly and wondered what she was talking about.

	"There. Feeling better?" 

	"Yes. Thank you for rescuing me."

	Shibaru stared at Akane in genuine surprise. "Rescue you? What gave you
that idea?" Shibaru shrugged and quickly began to tie Akane up again. "You
see? This is how it should be done." 

	Akane looked down. The rope was wrapped around her waist several times,
pinning her arms to her sides. The bands stopped just below her breasts.
"What are you doing?! Let me go!" She tried to step away, but Shibaru pulled
the rope taught, lifting Akane back into the air.

	Shibaru retrieved her whip and faced Akane. "You're just what I need." She
traced Akane's cheek with her whip. "Now, I need a scream. Do you think you
can manage that or do you need......help?"

	Akane screamed.


	Ranma was arguing with Ryoga again while She-Hulk asked the people they
passed if they had seen a demon carrying a young girl. To her surprise, most
people answered her calmly and didn't seem upset by her appearance. <What
gives?>

	# It's a Ranma thing. Too much weird stuff happens here for the people to
be surprised anymore. #

	A distant scream halted the argument and Ranma took off running. "That's
Akane!" Jen snagged Ryoga and followed.

	They stopped in the street and tried to figure out where the sound had
come from. Jennifer began to look into windows, exclaiming when she spotted
Akane. "She's in here!"

	Ranma and Ryoga burst in before She-Hulk could suggest they proceed with
caution. She sighed and joined them.

	Ryoga took one look at Akane, who was naked and passed out cold. Jen
watched him hit the floor and looked at Ranma. He shrugged and moved toward
Akane. 

	Akane glared at him and tried warn him, her cries muffled by a gag. Ranma
frowned and followed her eyes in time to see the large cage drop over him.
Jen ran forward to help. She felt herself sink and looked down to find that
the floor below her was dissolving. Jennifer lunged for the side of the hole
and managed to grab the edge as she fell. Something clamped around her wrist
and she glanced up as Shibaru secured the manacle. 

	The vortex appeared, but Shibaru vanished. She reappeared a second later
and  tried to fasten a second cuff around She-Hulk's other wrist. Jen jerked
away and fell into the hole. The chain snapped tight and she was left
hanging in between animes. Jen saw the dungeon below her and cringed.

	Ranma slipped out from under the cage and attacked Shibaru. She jumped
back and ran through a small black portal that had opened. He grabbed the
chain and began to pull Jennifer up. 

	"Thanks." She-Hulk gripped the manacle and strained to break it as Ranma
went to free Akane. It finally snapped and she tossed it aside, glaring at
the author. "That was too close!"

	# I tried! #

	Ranma finished untying Akane and hugged her. He let go quickly and turned
his back, slipping out of his shirt. Akane accepted it in silence. Once she
was covered she drew a deep breath and opened on Ranma with both barrels.
"What took you so long?! Do you know what I've been through?!" Ranma rolled
his eyes and let her continue her tirade.

	Jennifer watched them for a few minutes and then turned to the author.
"Uh...are we done yet?" Jen fervently hoped so. A vortex appeared beside
her. She waved at the couple, but they didn't notice as she left.

	Jennifer landed on the bed and sank into the softness gratefully. "I'm so
tired! I could sleep for a week."

	# I'm afraid that isn't possible. Not unless you want to get caught? # Jen
groaned and rolled over to look at the author.

	"Are you sure you can't catch them?"

	# Sorry. Kahm might have some ideas, but she won't be back until tomorrow. #

	"What do we do in the mean time?" She wanted to go to sleep, but she was
afraid to let her guard down. "I have to get some rest."

	The author thought for a few minutes and then decided to try something. A
white flag on a pole appeared and she called out.  # Shibaru!  Utsu! Truce!
I promise we won't try and catch you. We need to talk to you. #

	They appeared at the foot of the bed and She-Hulk scrambled away from
them. They grinned at her reaction and Jen scowled. "What do you want to
talk about?" Utsu absently straightened the line of her glove. 

	# We need to establish a couple of rules. #

	"No rules!" Shibaru pointed at the author with her whip. "You aren't
calling the shots now!"

	# Don't push me, little girl! It would be easy to end this right now. All
I have to do is return She-Hulk to Marvel. You can't follow her there. #
Shibaru frowned and the author bit back a grin. # I propose that when
Jennifer is here, at the starting page, you don't bother her. The animes
will remain open ground. #

	Utsu shook her head "No way! Then she'll just stay here and we won't have
a chance."

	Shibaru snapped her fingers and pointed to She-Hulk. "How about we leave
you alone when you're asleep here? That way we have to wait until you're
awake and you can get some sleep." Utsu frowned, but Shibaru ignored her.

	# Deal. #

	"What? Wait a minute! Don't I get a say in this?" Jen was indignant.

	# No. # 

	The twins vanished and the author sighed. Kahm had a lot to answer for.
She'd been the one to lower the shields on her computer. It was the only way
to explain how the girls were getting around so quickly. Kahm must have
provided them with a way to slip between animes.

	"Let me make sure of something, here. You Do want the twins captured
again, right?"

	# Of course. # The author held her hand under her desk as she crossed her
fingers.


	Nabiki finished editing the footage she'd taped and smiled as she ran it
back. Leaving the camera running on the roof had been a risk, but it had
been worth it. She had slipped into the warehouse after Akane and the demon
and had captured every money-making moment! A slight cough caused her to
jump and she turned to find Shibaru and Utsu standing behind  her.

	Shibaru leaned over Nabiki's shoulder and looked into the viewer. "Nice
camera shots."

	Utsu pushed Shibaru away and exclaimed, "Oh cool! You have a good  eye."

	Nabiki watched them nervously. "What can I do for you, ladies?" As the
words left her mouth she knew that had been a mistake.

	 Shibaru laid a gloved hand on Nabiki's shoulder and smiled down at her.
"Three things, actually. We'd like a copy of this tape." Utsu clapped and
nodded. "The use of your equipment for a little while."

	Nabiki swallowed hard. "And the other thing?"

	Shibaru's smile turned evil and she laughed. "Oh, just a little of your
time."

	Kasumi shifted the clothes in her arms and knocked on Nabiki's door. She
pushed it open when she got no response. Kasumi put Nabiki's clothes away
and frowned at the empty room. "That's odd. I thought I heard her laughing."