Subject: [FFML][AMG][Jeeves] 1 hour challenge
From: gavin.steyn@comverse.com
Date: 6/30/1997, 3:25 PM
To: fanfic@fanfic.com

     Hi all,
     
     I decided to do this one hour challenge.  The story needs pretty 
     severe revision--large chunks of it don't resemble Wodehouse at all 
     and the end is very rushed, but I'm not too displeased with it for 
     just and hour's work.
     
     Comments, criticism, etc are welcome, although please send them to 
     malkakor@shani.net
     
     Thanks,
     
     Gavin
     
Start time 1:20

One evening, I was sitting and pondering the ineffable, if
that's the word I want, mysteriousness of life.  How is it,
I thought, that some nights a chap can feel that all is
boomps-a-daisy with the world, while at other times, he
can only sit and brood?

Of course, if Jeeves had been around, I could have popped the
question at him.  But if Jeeves had been around, I might not
have been in such a funk to begin with.  I was not the gay
Bertram Wooster of former days--I could not even drag myself
out to one of the tamer nightclubs.  But I was starting to 
feel a bit peckish.

Suddenly I remembered a frightfully rum thing one of the fellows
had been telling me in the Drones club a week ago.  "Frightfully
convenient," he had said.  "You just call up these places, and 
they bring food right to your door."

"But, I say," Barmey Fotheringay-Fipps had said, "how do they know 
what I want to eat?"

So Bingo explained the procedure, and I must admit that it seemed
simple enough.  I decided to give it a try.  However, the first place
was busy, and the second did not answer the phone.  On the third
try, however, I got a rather pleasant-sounding girl on the line.
"Goddess wish line, I'll be right over to talk to you."

Just then, the mirror began to glow, and a beautiful girl stepped
out of it.  Bingo hadn't told me about this part of the procedure,
so I am not deceiving my audience when I say that my eyes bulged 
from their orbits like the quills of fearful porpentine.

"You chappies certainly are efficient.  I must order dinner from
you more frequently!"

"I'm sorry; I think you misunderstood.  I'm a goddess.  I'm here
to grant you a wish."

"But what about the dinner I was about to order?"  

"Don't you understand?  You reached the goddess wish line; I'm
here to grant you a wish.  Now, what would you like to wish
for?"

Now, if there's one thing I've learned from my long association
with the Jeeves, it is that one must approach things methodically.
Obviously our lines had crossed, and I had somehow reached this
beazel instead of a restaurant.  "What number were you at?
Maybe the phone company misprinted the number in the yellow pages."

"I am a goddess.  You have been selected to receive a wish.  Will
you please choose one?"  She seemed a bit on edge, for some reason.

"But I think this little mystery of the telephone line is dashed
interesting.  Still, if you insist, we shall not dwell on it, we
shall pass over it.  Bertram Wooster will not mention again.  Others,
of a more curious disposition might, but I will not."

"Will...you...please...choose...a...wish!"

I was starting to notice a definite coldness on her part.  Ever the
preux chevalier, I wanted to make her feel a bit more at home by
encouraging her to talk a bit more.  "I say, did you say you were
a goddess?  I didn't think they existed.  Are you sure about this?"

"Yes, I am a real goddess.  You saw me come through the mirror, did
you not."

"Oh, that.  I thought it was a new promotion for your restaurant.  These
scientific coves are always comin up with the cleverest ideas.  I don't
suppose you'd care to teach me how to do that, would you?"

"That is my mode of travel as a goddess."

"That's what I thought--secret of the guild and all that.  Tell me, what's
the goddess business like?  Must be dashed interesting, I'd imagine.
Rushing around, saving people, righting wrongs, and all that."

"Please, I am not Superman.  Now will you please choose a wish?"

It seemed that she was awfully persistent on this wish theme.  I considered
entering a nolle prosequi, but I wasn't sure how she would take it.  Maybe
if I tried to draw her out a bit on her job.  "It still must be bally
interesting.  I wish I could do it, too."

"Finally!!" she shouted in positive glee.  "Your wish has been granted!"

There was a loud crash of thunder and I fell down to the ground.  When I came
to, she was speaking on my telephone.  "I'm sorry, kami-sama, I know I should
pay attention to the wish before I grant it, but I was getting a bit impatient.
Can't you reverse it?  No?  Then we'll just have to make do."

I stood up a bit unsteadily.

"Hello, Bertram," she said.  "Welcome to goddess-hood."

I looked down at myself.  "Oh, no, I'm a girl again.  What will Jeeves say?"
was all I could think.
  
end 2:17