At 01:38 PM 22/06/97 +0000, Trisha Sebastian wrote:
Together
by Mark Doherty<mdoherty@mailbox.uq.edu.au>
She smiled, as light discernable only to those trained to see swirled and
coruscated around her in neon waves of ecstaticly charged ki. It was so...
so... _orgasmic_...
I'm beginning to wonder if that "really" is what holding ki is like. And
here's another thing to wonder about; how does Kodachi know what an
orgasm feel like?
I don't know, I've never been charged with ki poisoned through the focus
of madness before. I thought it was at least possible that that sort of
thing would give a huge rush, but it's not a theory I'm going to fight to
the death over.
How does Kodachi know what an orgasm is like? .......... The same way anyone
else without a sexual partner would, I guess. Personally, I sometimes
wonder if she's not getting off on her insanity, she does seem to enjoy
herself a little too much. (Yes, I believe she's madder than a meataxe,
and twice as dangerous, but THAT'S why I like her! To tell the truth,
while I like Ukyou a lot more, I think I can do more with Kodachi, and
so she's been getting more and more of my fanfic time)
Besides, one doesn't have to experience something to use it as a
comparison, people do that all the time.
Gosunkugi, meanwhile, had sold his soul for power. Unfortunately for
him, his soul wasn't worth all that much, and he was consumed by his
new found energy. Before he died, however, he did manage a quite
spectacular battle with Ranma, Ryouga, Akane and Ukyou. At least he went
out with a bang, and with the grudging respect of his opponents. It wasn't
much, but it was all he got.
Why in the world would Gosunkugi want to know how to hold ki power. If
I remember correctly, most of the guys who were "after" Akane gave up
on their claim to her and didn't want to fight her anymore. He's never
been in the thick of a fight before, (excluding the Hinako-sensei thing)
and surely Ranma doesn't see him as a threat. Why???
I was rushed, I didn't explain properly. Gos didn't gain ki power, he gained
some kind (it doesn't really matter what kind) of magical power. I'm thinking
of cleaning this up and sending it to RAAC, maybe I'll throw in a line like
'...Akane and Ukyou. Not for love, not for vengeance, but for that one
elusive thing that all sought. Respect.'
And so it went. Mousse, Kunou, dozens of others learnt how to wield
energy, be it ki based or magically based, or even scientifically based.
Everyone suddenly seemed to have power, and it made it dangerous to fight
a person if you didn't have a ki technique of your own.
This I can understand as an explanation, but Gos never really "fought" with
the big four (Ranma, Ryouga, Kuno or Akane). Even if he were caught up
in a fight, he wouldn't *need* ki to escape. He knows his limitations.
Ok, the point I was trying to make with Gos was that he got power, he used
it, he died from it, but he died flashily, his gaining of such power was
either a catalyst or an indicator of things to come, as more and more
people gained energy abilities. It was also a way of showing that not all
gain by gaining power. Sort of a mild foreshadowing for what happened to
Kodachi.
[snip]
This makes me wonder. Did Akane learn the Mokou Takabisha? Or is it something
similar. Or is it not important?
Truthfully? In a fic this size, it doesn't matter. I thought leaving it
to let the reader wonder is so much more fun.
Sometimes, it's not what you say, it's what you don't that makes things
interesting.
She giggled as she landed on the last building before the Dojo. She couldn't
stop giggling. Everything was so funny. The sky, the ground, the birds
flying round, the cities noisy din, the people below, and the lifeblood of
her brother that she had just recently soaked in... Ohoho YES! My, but
everything seemed amusing today.
I didn't catch that second to the last sentence the first time around. Nice
fore-shadowing.
Thank you, although I got the order mixed up. It should have been:
The sky, the ground, the birds flying round, the people below, the cities'
noisy din, and the lifeblood of her brother that she had just recently
soaked in...
Sets up a nice poetic beat. I like to use poetic beats when I'm trying to
convey insanity. I honestly believe it works very, very well.
Ranma shook his head. "Hell. Kodachi, you... you gotta come with me.
You need help."
He is the eternal optimist, isn't he? I think that maybe that is one of his
greatest weaknesses, the idea that *he* is supposed to save the world.
But he did help her. He helped her gain what she wanted...
Who said it never hurts to help? (Well, Eek the Cat did, but that's
beside the point.) ^_^
"Get off him." Akane grated, as she started to glow in a shade far brighter
than the aura she used when she was angry. Kodachi knew the signs, it was the
Tendo girls ki attack. "Now."
Minor note: change "the Tendo girls ki attack" to "the Tendo girl's ki attack."
Yep, thanks. I tend to proofread my stuff twenty or so times before releasing
it, but the whole idea of this challenge was to send it unedited, so I did,
and things like a few spelling mistakes and punctuation errors got through.
That's not to say that a couple slip by me at other times, just that it's a
nice, handy excuse, and I'm gonna use it while it's there to be taken. :P
One lesson, at least, had come out of this. In ki techniques, insanity...
was not a good focus.
Hee hee hee! What a great closing line! I loved it!
Thank you.
God, don't you just love the writing challenges?
Oh yes, I've just driven another nail into the coffin of my 'Why no,
I do not hate Ranma' defense. Love it. ^_^
(Gah, I've gotta write a fic where Ranma's not a bastard/killed horribly/
given a curse that's driving him nuttier than Kodachi/etc soon. I know...
I've been talking to Meredith lately, she's got one of the better Ukyou web
shrines... she gave me a great little idea for a Ranma-Ukyou story...
No, wait, Ranma's not too nice in that one either. Damn, I know I can
do it, I know I can give Ranma a break. One day, eh?)
Oh well, thanks for the C&C.
************
Mark Doherty - mdoherty@mailbox.uq.edu.au
My fanfics and the Weekly FFML Synopses Lists are at:
http://www.uq.edu.au/~zzhdoher
"Kawaii must die."