At 11:42 PM 6/22/97 +1000, you wrote:

One hour challenge. I was in the mood to do it. This is dark. You have 
been warned. No funny twist at the end, like most of my spamfics, so 
don't take that warning as a joke.

Okay, warning noted.

Together
by Mark Doherty<mdoherty@mailbox.uq.edu.au>

Start 20:20

Power! Oh such sweet, energising, glorious, soul-filling, soul-destroying
power! Oh gods... the rush, the adrenaline pumping glory! Power to burn,
power to destroy, power to kill... power to take what was hers. Power...

She smiled, as light discernable only to those trained to see swirled and
coruscated around her in neon waves of ecstaticly charged ki. It was so...
so... _orgasmic_...

I'm beginning to wonder if that "really" is what holding ki is like.  And here's
another thing to wonder about; how does Kodachi know what an orgasm
feel like?

It had started, as many things do, with a single seemingly insignificant thing.
Akane Tendo had somehow learnt how to throw ki energy. Not that remarkable,
considering her constant exposure to examples of how to do it, but it caused
ripples. Like the arms race of the nations, others could not stand to sit by
while one claimed such a weapon.

This is such a true statement.  The sequence of events that follow seem logical
also.  This part I question:

Gosunkugi, meanwhile, had sold his soul for power. Unfortunately for 
him, his soul wasn't worth all that much, and he was consumed by his 
new found energy. Before he died, however, he did manage a quite 
spectacular battle with Ranma, Ryouga, Akane and Ukyou. At least he went 
out with a bang, and with the grudging respect of his opponents. It wasn't 
much, but it was all he got.

Why in the world would Gosunkugi want to know how to hold ki power.  If 
I remember correctly, most of the guys who were "after" Akane gave up
on their claim to her and didn't want to fight her anymore.  He's never
been in the thick of a fight before, (excluding the Hinako-sensei thing)
and surely Ranma doesn't see him as a threat.  Why???

And so it went. Mousse, Kunou, dozens of others learnt how to wield 
energy, be it ki based or magically based, or even scientifically based. 
Everyone suddenly seemed to have power, and it made it dangerous to fight 
a person if you didn't have a ki technique of your own.

This I can understand as an explanation, but Gos never really "fought" with
the big four (Ranma, Ryouga, Kuno or Akane).  Even if he were caught up
in a fight, he wouldn't *need* ki to escape.  He knows his limitations.

Kodachi giggled as the ki flowed through her, revitalising parts of her 
made numb by her constant poison abuse.  Ah... power was bliss.

She uses her own poisons?  That makes sense, but I like the idea someone else
put forth of Kuno and Sasuke being her "pet canaries" so to speak.

Oh yes, she had found the way to her personal power. Her example had been
her Ranma-sama, a paragon for any martial venture. His power came from his
confidence, and so the solution had been obvious: she had to find what drove
her with such power that she could use it like Ranma did.

This makes me wonder.  Did Akane learn the Mokou Takabisha?  Or is it something
similar.  Or is it not important?

She giggled as she landed on the last building before the Dojo. She couldn't
stop giggling. Everything was so funny. The sky, the ground, the birds
flying round, the cities noisy din, the people below, and the lifeblood of 
her brother that she had just recently soaked in... Ohoho YES! My, but 
everything seemed amusing today.

I didn't catch that second to the last sentence the first time around.  Nice
fore-
shadowing.

Ranma shook his head. "Hell. Kodachi, you... you gotta come with me.
You need help."

He is the eternal optimist, isn't he?   I think that maybe that is one of his
greatest weaknesses, the idea that *he* is supposed to save the world.

"Get off him." Akane grated, as she started to glow in a shade far brighter 
than the aura she used when she was angry. Kodachi knew the signs, it was the
Tendo girls ki attack. "Now."

Minor note: change "the Tendo girls ki attack" to "the Tendo girl's ki attack."

One lesson, at least, had come out of this. In ki techniques, insanity... 
was not a good focus.

Hee hee hee!  What a great closing line!  I loved it!  God, don't you
just love the writing challenges?

Mark Doherty  -  mdoherty@mailbox.uq.edu.au
My fanfics and the Weekly FFML Synopses Lists are at:
http://www.uq.edu.au/~zzhdoher

"Kawaii must die."

Foxtrot the Furryous, CBTFH, ret.