Well, this is probably the final version,
unless you guys spot any goofs I missed,
or have a strong opinion on a part that's
written that you feel should be changed.
lemme know what you think, guys.
-RpM
tp-11
========================
The Pursuit of Happiness
Act I
Part 11
Konatsu's Arrival
=================
[Nerima District, Morning]
"Ryouga Hibiki, I challange you!"
The lost boy sighed. He really wasn't in the mood for this. He
was following Ukyou to school, and somewhere along the way he lost
track of her. And now, as was his nature, he was hopelessly lost and
definitely late for school.
Not good.
And now this.
A block away, in her usual sooty atire, the mysterious gaijin Tanya
Noori stood in a combat stance with a really mean looking steel-brush
broom in one hand, and a meaner looking metal sharp thing in the other
hand.
"Can you just tell me," he said tiredly, "WHAT did I do to you?"
For a brief moment, she ranted VERY angrily. But she ranted in
English and so he had no idea what she was saying.
"Um... excuse me..."
Noori snapped at him in English once more, and seemed to be waiting
for something.
"Can you talk in Japanese? You're talking really fast and my
English isn't that good."
Tanya scowled. She kept on slipping back into English every now
and then when she was mad, and was feeling embarrased that her five
minute tirade went right over his head.
No, that wasn't right.
It was his fault for not knowing his English better.
Yes, that's it.
"LEARN ENGLISH!" she yelled at him. "I sai- a... ACK!"
"Ack?" wondered Ryouga. Before he could ask further, she suddenly
ran off and quickly disappeared from sight. "Now where'd she go?" he
wondered.
"Um, excuse me?"
Ryouga blinked. Seconds after a battle was supposed to have
started, one doesn't expect a genteel feminine voice to be asking for
attention. He turned around to see who was asking, and his eyes were
greeted by one of the more... beautiful, he guessed (any other word
wouldn't be quite appropriate), girls he'd ever seen. She was
covered, except for her face, entirely in black ninja garb. It was
obvious she was in fine shape indeed. Not curvy or busty, but a
normal sort of form. And her face was certainly beautiful, in a vague
sort of way, as well, topped by long, soft ebony locks bound in a
ponytail. If she wasn't in ninja garb, he'd imagine she'd probably
make someone a nice wife.
"Um, excuse me? Hello?" she asked.
"Hm? Oh, sorry. Were you talking to me?" he wondered.
"Yes," she said, looking concerned. "I'm wondering... have you
seen a young girl here... a gaijin... with blond hair, probably
covered with soot?"
"Yes, she was just here a moment ago, but..."
"She was?" asked the girl, her voice rising slightly with hope.
"Do you know where she went?"
"Um... sorry, no."
She sighed. "Thank you for your help. Goodbye." Suddenly, she
was engulfed in smoke, then disappeared as a breeze blew the smoke
away.
Ryouga frowned.
It was going to be one of _those_ days.
*
Tanya peered from the shadows nervously. _How_ did Konatsu find
her? How? Damn, this was quite an unpleasant pickle to be in indeed.
It was ridiculous how much of a pain in the rear one simple act of
kindness could escalate into something so ridiculously annoying.
Konatsu was a sweet girl, really, but what she wanted, Tanya really
was not willing to give.
Right now, what Tanya really needed was a drink and a quiet place
to hide. Now where, around here, was like that? Hm...
*
King looked at her latest patron with some curiosity. It seemed to
be a very young, sooty, agitated, and nervous chimneysweep thumbing
through a copy of the London Times, muttering occasionally in English,
and nursing some darjeling tea.
If she was back in England, this wouldn't be so surprising.
<Hey, weren't you here a couple of nights ago?> asked King.
Tanya blinked. <Ah... oy dunna recall...>
<You seemed kind of drunk that night.>
<Oh, THAT night. Wasn't drunk, oy was stoned. Big diff'rence,
y'see?>
This wasn't much better, in King's view.
<Hey, hope you don't mind me asking...> started King tenatively.
<Hm? Wot's at?> said the girl in a tired (and very heavily British
accented) voice.
<Is there really a chimneysweep market in Tokyo?>
<Hm? Yea, surprisin'but true, innit?>
King nodded in agreement. <How'd a chimneysweep like you end up
way over here?>
<Heh, long story.> The girl took a long sip of her tea and sighed.
<Ah, good tea, like'n ol'Englund, it is. A bloody relief to foind
somebody wot speaks English too!>
<Name's King, nice t'meet ya,> said King, extending a hand.
The girl shook it, saying <Name's Tanya.>
<If you don't mind me saying, Tanya,> said King, <seems like
something's bothering you.>
<Yeah, s'a bit ova... tricky thing, this is.> She briefly wondered
why she was about to tell the bartender what she was dealing with,
although she shouldn't have worried. Everyone tells the bartender
everything eventually. It's a rule of the universe. <Started some
months back...>
[SOME MONTHS BACK...]
Tanya was tired. Very tired. Wandering through Japan on foot (as
most martial artists tended to do) was very draining on her, and she'd
been doing it for an entire month so far. She needed some rest. She
needed relief. And in this remote mountain area, she wasn't expecting
anything but another night under the stars on the hard forest floor.
Just when she was ready to give up, there was suddenly hope.
Lit in the darkness, like a ray of hope, was a modest wooden
building, with a sign that displayed 'Sexy Tea Shop Kunoichi'. Sexy
Tea Shop? Sounded bloody perverted to her, but Tanya was incredibly
sick of nature and had a burning desire for some modern civilization
settings.
And what she saw next was...
*
<Bloody 'orrifyin! Three'o the most bloody ugly witches oi evah
seen!> said Tanya. <The missus wus this UGLY ol'biddie, words CANNOT
begin tew descroibe haw absolutely WRETCHED she looked! An'er
daughters, oh, wot a blight they be on the eath, ev'ry bit as UGLY as
their mam!>
<Sounds like you stumbled into a witches' coven, kid.> said King.
<S'wot it looked like!> swore Tanya. <They wos circle'in 'round a
bubblin' tea pot an'cacklin most hag-like! T'was a den'o evil, I tell
ye, a bloody teahouse o'the damned! An'that wasn't the worst part.
They had'em a prisoner, they did...>
*
Tanya stared with major apprehension at the cup of tea that was
placed before her. In any other setting, it would probably look like
a quite normal beverage, of no threatening nature, and possibly quite
refreshing.
Within the abode of those three hags, however, it looked like it
was possibly brewed by questionable persons, using dubious liquids,
and with the distinct possibility of sanitary violations occurring
during the creation of said drink.
She eyed it much like someone eyes something really distasteful.
Actually, that's exactly what she was doing. Meanwhile, the three
witches were watching her carefully, waiting for her to actually drink
the liquid.
"Er..." she said nervously, "Do you... have... um... sugar?" That
seemed to be a good idea at the time. Sugar. Surely it couldn't make
the drink any worse than she was afraid it was. She looked around the
table as an afterthought, and noted that there wasn't any sugar to be
seen. The three hags seemed to notice this too.
"KONATSU!" bellowed one of the hags suddenly, startling Tanya
enough to make her twitch. "KONATSU YOU LAZY USELESS DAUGHTER OF
MINE! GET OUT HERE!"
Tanya was horrified. There were _more_ of these hags? Looking at
what was apparently the mother, and what the two daughters looked
like, genetic odds were that this other daughter would kill her
appetite entirely.
She was entirely surprised when a young girl rushed out, a
perfectly normal young girl, beautiful actually, rushed out in a
panic.
"Yes mother?" said Konatsu timidly.
MOTHER?!?! Bloody hell, talk about defying the odds. Those
must've been some seriously dormant genes that made it through to this
girl, thought Tanya.
"Konatsu you IDIOT! You forgot to leave sugar on the tables!"
"S-sorry, mother! I'll go get it now!"
The two sisters cackled while the mother bellowed again. "For your
mistake, you get no dinner tonight!"
"But... but I haven't eaten in a week!"
"ARE YOU TALKING BACK TO ME?!" shrieked the mother ghoul.
"N-no... no, mother." said Konatsu meekly. "I'm not."
"And you'll have to scrub the floor before you go to sleep
tonight!"
"But... but I scrubbed the floor an hour ago..." said Konatsu
sadly.
"Don't you dare talk back to me you UNGRATEFUL GIRL!"
To Tanya's horror, the trio of hags started beating and kicking on
Konatsu, clearly enjoying it. She didn't like this, not one bloody
bit. But... it was a family matter, none of her business. But...
dammit, the way they were treating her... it REALLY was making Tanya
MAD.
<'At's bloody well ENOUGH!> she yelled.
In English.
Everyone in thee room stared at her curiously.
Tanya winced, realizing her mistake. She thought about saying it
again in Japanese, but decided it again and just started hitting
people.
*
<I mean, wos I not justified in defendin'the poor gel?> said Tanya.
<I jus' couldn't stan'by an watch'em do that to'er!>
<Seems like you did the right thing,> agreed King.
<Yeah, but ye know wot the sayin' says, 'The Road To Hell'
an'wotnot. Aaaynyways, after oi royally whipped'er bums good, the gel
was all actin' sad!>
*
<TAKE THAT! *WHAM* AND THAT! *WHAM* AND THATANDTHATANDTHAT!
*WHAM*WHAM*WHAM*WHAM*> Tanya was feeling GOOD. Nothing helped her
unwind than a savage beating to people that deserved it. Checking to
make sure the three hags from hell were unconscious, she sat down and
surveyed her work.
The tea shop would never be the same, definitely. Utterly
destroying the walls tends to do that to a place.
Oh well.
All seemed to be well, with the just defended and the unjust
whapped silly, when Tanya noticed that the girl, Konatsu, seemed to be
depressed and alarmed.
"Um... why did you do that?" asked Konatsu.
<Well, Oi jus'can't stand back an'let em hags abuse you an'whatnot!
S'not right!>
Konatsu blinked.
Tanya blinked. Oh, wait. Oops. Slipped into English again.
"They shouldn't treat you so bad. I cannot stand by and let them
abuse you like that! It isn't right!"
"Oh..."
"Why are you sad?" asked Noori in her uneven Japanese.
"Where... where do I go from here?" asked Konatsu fearfully. "I've
no place to stay now and... and they'll surely blame me for all this."
"WHAT?!" Tanya was fired up once more. "You not rely on... on...
THEM! What they give you? They beat you up and work you like dog!
You are better off alone!"
"But... but I don't know how!"
Tanya sighed, exasperated at the girl's lack of self-confidence and
apparent helplessness. She wanted to _liberate_ the girl, not strand
her helpless out here. Something had to be done, although she really
didn't want to be the one to do it.
"Come on, let's go."
Konatsu blinked. "Go? Where?"
"To the city. Find jobs over there, maybe?"
"But... but who will want to hire me? I mean..."
"Who will...? You are hard-working and beautiful, sure there will
be a job for you," said Tanya confidently.
Konatsu seemed to brighten slightly. "You really think I'm
beautiful?"
Tanya took a moment to look at Konatsu thoughtfully. "Very much,
more than your mother or sisters definitely." She then turned
southward. "Come on, let's travel."
She didn't notice Konatsu's slight blush. "By the way, you didn't
tell me your name."
"Hm? Noori Tanya."
"Kenzan Konatsu."
<Pleased t'meet ya.>
"What?"
"Nice to meet you."
"Oh."
*
<So anyways, as it turns out, the next town we hits was Hokkaido.
Loverly spot to tour, it is. Ever been there?> wondered Tanya.
<No, not yet> said King.
<Truely oughta visit there some time, yew should. Anyways, while
we was travelin', she tol'me why it was that she happened t'be quite
beau-ti-ful, while her mum an'sisters were bloody hags. Turns out she
was their stepdaughter, an'er parents died quite a long time ago. So
they been takin'advantage of her, those hags have. Oh yeah, she's
also supposed t'be some kinda super-genius ninja... some weird
one-inna generation thing. Seems stepmum was a bit envious, oi
thinks. Bit offa bizzare Cinderella-ish story, innit?>
<You're not making this up, are you?> wondered King.
<Wot? Naw, s'too bizzare to be a lie, an'I ain't that good a
storyteller. Anyways, we was a bit strapped for cash, so I gets us a
job at a restaurant, with me doin'the dishwork an'such, and Konatsu
gettin'the waitress bit. Things was going nice, they were, but 'er
bloody mum an'sisters followed us...>
*
Tanya wheezed for breath.
Around her, the restaurant was thoroughly, definitely, and totally
trashed. Damn, but those old biddies were a lot tougher than before.
She ached all over from the blows that the three hag Kunoichi had
inflicted on her. Konatsu was beside her, also looking severely
beaten. The hags, Tanya noted, didn't look so great either, but
considering how they looked normally, it was hard to judge their
condition properly.
They would have never, ever, gotten so many hits in if they hadn't
have snuck up in ambush. Or so Tanya firmly believed.
"Konatsu," said the eldest hag, "stop this nonsense and come back
with us NOW!"
"No... I-" said Konatsu before she was interrupted.
"SHE IS NOT GOING BACK WITH _YOU_," stated Tanya firmly.
"Oh-ho, being stubborn, are you?" said the eldest. She gave a
glance to one of her daughters, who suddenly whipped out a blowgun and
shot at Tanya.
She easily blocked it with her broom handle.
The other one, shot by the other sister, however, wasn't blocked.
Tanya felt the sudden sting on her neck, then felt the world slowly
fade into black, Konatsu's screaming voice only a distant sound...
*
It was darkness. She was not able to hear, see, taste, or smell
anything. It wasn't a state she was familiar with, and she sure as
hell didn't like it. Now... how did things end up like this? Oh yes,
darts. Must've been poisoned or something. That was rather
underhanded, wasn't it? Why those bloody hags. She'd have to give'em
a royal medievel thrashing... once she got out of this darkness.
She tested one more time.
Heard nothing, saw nothing, tasted nothing, smelled nothing.
Oh, wait, she felt something. Something soft... her head was
resting on something soft. Ah, she was lying down apparently. Good,
that starts to establish things, that does.
With slight apprehension, she blinked, then opened her eyes.
Apparently, her head was on Konatsu's lap. Not pillows. Hrm. It
seemed Konatsu had fallen asleep watching over her, and they were now
on some odd rooftop. Might as well get up, she thought, and silently
rose, sitting up and bending her sore back.
The sound of movement awoke Konatsu, who rubbed her eyes and
yawned. She looked drowsily at Tanya. "Noori-sama?"
<Yea, at's me> she grumbled.
"NOORI-SAMA! You're okay!" Suddenly, Konatsu wrapped Tanya in a
warm, caring, intense, and almost lung-crushing hug. "I was so
worried!" said Konatsu tearfully. "Mother hit you with poison darts
and I was afraid that... that..."
Tanya's brain was still in that odd sort of wake-up fog, and was
trying to figure out exactly what was going on. There seemed to be
quite a bit of crying going on. Yes, lots of that. Was she crying?
No, seemed to be this other girl. Seems to be rather hard to breath
too. Wonder why? Oh, we seem to be getting... what's the word...
hugged? Yes, we're getting hugged. Rather tightly too. Who's
hugging us? Oh, the girl.
THE GIRL?
Hugging was something alien to Tanya. Something left for the more
genteel folk. A handshake or a pat in the back was just fine for her.
None of this hugging nonsense. Her first reflex was th beat the hell
out of Konatsu. But... no... that would feel as dirty as kicking a
puppy, somehow.
"Er... Konatsu... hey..." said Tanya. She slowly and nervously
pried herself out of the girl's arms. "Konatsu... you can... ah...
let go now... I'm fine. Heyheyhey, let go now!"
After a hard tug or two later, Konatsu finally let go, and Tanya
was looking at her as if she was bloody insane.
"Why are you so concerned? I'm not that weak," she said irritably.
"I'm sorry," said Konatsu timidly. "It's just that I... I wouldn't
know how to survive on my own, and..."
Tanya took the moment to get up and stretch a bit.
"... and you just wouldn't wake up..."
Konatsu was saying something a bit quietly, but Tanya wasn't paying
particular attention. She tended to let people talk if they were
going to to be long-winded. The quicker they said what they had to
say, the quicker they'd get to being quiet again, in her experience.
"... I... I know that this is wrong, this feeling I have..."
Not until she heard two peculiar words.
"... love you."
No, she thought, must've misheard that. She turned and looked down
at Konatsu, who was still kneeling on the ground.
"What did you say?" asked Tanya.
"I... I ah," said Konatsu nervously, "I'm in love with you."
*
<The gel was in LOVE with me! Oi mean, how's oi supposed to react
to THAT, oi asks yew?> hissed Tanya.
<Oh my> said King. <That... must've been awkward.>
<Awkward? Sister, oi was totally besides meself!> exclaimed Noori.
<So, how'd you handle it?> asked King.
*
"I... I... I but I'm.... you're... aaaagh!" <Aw bloody hell, oi
REALLY don't need this!"
"Noori-sama?" asked Konatsu timidly.
<L-look, you're a nice gel, I'm sure you'll find ye'self some
opportunities out there, roight?> She was trying to be nice about it,
she really was. Until Konatsu bowed at her feet and started crying.
And then...
*
<Okay, so oi ran away. Yew got any better ideas?> said Tanya
impatiently.
<If you don't mind me saying so, I think you could've handled that
better> said King.
<Look, s'not like oi WANTED t'be a meanie, right? S'just...
well... oi can't handle stuff like that! Just can't!> Tanya sighed
and finished off her tea, then stared at the bottom of her glass for a
while. <Refill, miss?>
<Coming right up.> As King handed Tanya another glass, she asked,
<so that's what's bothering you now?>
<Partially... that. And she followed me trail all the way to this
city. Oi just haven't an idear what to do, really.>
<Sit down with her and talk it over, maybe?> asked King.
<An'when was the last time ANYTHING was as simple as that?> replied
Tanya.
<Good point.>
<Exactly.>
<Couldn't hurt to try, though.>
<Yeah, pull me other leg, s'got bells on it.>
Nearby, concealed by the entertainment section of the Tokyo Press,
Ryo grinned. It was funny what one could overhear just by lounging
around. This Konatsu... she sounded like a rather fun new addition to
the chess pieces of Nerima.
*
"Why are these things always wrong?" wondered Ryouga, looking at a
map of Tokyo. He looked at the streetname, then the map, then the
index of streets on the map. Nothing.
Had he known he wasn't in Tokyo, things would have made much more
sense. The large forest bit should have been a hint to him that Tokyo
was no longer a likely location, as well as the occasional [TOKYO
100KM] signs, but as was the Hibiki tradition, he failed to notice
them. He did, however, notice that Tokyo seemed to be a smaller
around here.
Across the street he spotted a bus stop and what seemed to be a
trio of people waiting within its shade. Might as well ask, he
reasoned, which way to Tokyo.
"Excuse me," he asked, "but do you know how to get to Tokyo?"
In a most hag-like, cackling voice, one of them replied. "There's
always the bus, young man."
"Huh?"
"The bus. The one we are waiting for. It is bound for Tokyo."
"Oh, is it?" He quickly checked his pockets for bus fare, and to
his relief, had some to spare.
*
Night.
Nice, unrevealing, shadow-filled night. What better time to go
hunting for Hibiki? That was Tanya's line of thought as she once
again patrolled the rooftops of Nerima. After a week of prowling
around here, she'd finally started getting used to the place.
Furinkan was a very important landmark, although the giant bronze
pineapple resting at its top was an irritating reminder of a night
she'd rather forget. After that was the Ono clinic. Unfortunately,
also a reminder of things gone wrong. The third landmark she used to
get her bearings was King's Cafe, with probably the only naturally
speaking English speaking barkeep in town.
She had been lucky early in the day, managing to catch Ryouga and
confront him, but Konatsu got in the way. Damn her! _Why_ did she
have to show up, wondered Tanya, just when she'd finally tracked
Ryouga down? The odds of her finding that directionally disabled fool
again were not good. She descended down from a rooftop, sitting on a
bench by the street, and watched the traffic flow by. *Sigh*.
As she stood up again, someone bumped in to her, knocking her off
balance slightly. <Jerk!> she yelled.
"Oh," said the person, sounding distracted, "sorry about that." He
went on his way, occasionally looking at a compass hung around his
neck.
Tanya turned away, fuming. Then she froze.
Details of that stranger suddenly clicked.
Distracted. Lost. Compass. Headband. Fangs. Stupid look on his
face.
HIBIKI.
"HIBIKI!!!" she roared, pulling out two rather wicked looking
metallic things (technically, chimney soot scrapers, but 99 out of 100
people wouldn't have been able to guess that) and advanced upon him
menacingly.
Ryouga turned around and sighed. It was that Noori girl, again.
He still didn't _why_ she was mad at him, and it was getting on his
nerves.
"What do you want?" he demanded. "Will you just tell me?"
<Oi wanna kick yer bottom t'the bottom o'the Thames river, at's
wot!> ranted Tanya, lapsing into English.
"What? I don't understand," said Ryouga, getting into a defensive
stance as she advanced menacingly.
<Ask me of oi care, boyo.>
"Noori-sama!"
Ryouga looked around, confused. Tanya stopped her menacing
advance, and was now looking more irritated than angry.
<Aw, bloody hell, not now> Noori mumbled.
"Noori-sama! Please wait!" cried out Konatsu, approaching from the
shadows. "Please don't leave me again!"
With a resigned sigh, Tanya faced Konatsu. "Look, Konatsu... I do
not... we can't... NOT NOW!"
Meanwhile, Ryouga was beginning to wonder exactly what he was
caught in the middle of. Seemed like one of those dramas Ukyou always
watched on TV. He briefly contemplated sneaking away, but a
determination to settle things once and for all kept him on the spot.
"I just don't know what to do," sobbed Konatsu. "I've... I've been
strong so far, but... I need you. I don't have anywhere else to
turn!"
Tanya seemed distinctly horrified. "But... but..." <Oh bloody
hell, we're both girls! Doesn't that bother ya a bit?!?!>
Konatsu blinked. "Ano... was that English?"
Damn, she thought. Did it again. "I'M A GIRL! YOU'RE A GIRL!
WE'RE BOTH GIRLS!"
Konatsu sighed, then looked down at her feet. "I... I know."
<YOU KNOW?!?!> yelled Tanya, lapsing into English again.
Damndamndamndamn, damn this situation. Why couldn't Konatsu be a guy?
Or meaner? Tanya'd feel much better about beating the hell out of a
mean guy. But noooo, this was poor trampled-on Konatsu. Damn.
Bloody hell. Panic was settling in, and Noori desperately looked for
a way to diffuse the situation without totally crushing Konatsu.
"I... ah... I..." said she, struggling not to lapse into English
and looking around nervously. "I'm not THAT way... not..." Konatsu
still seemed to be waiting on something. Drat. "Not that way and...
and..." Gads, how to get rid of this girl?!
It should be said at this point that Ryouga really should have
taken that previous moment to sneak off.
"I'm... ah... engaged to him!" said Tanya, grabbing Ryouga by the
hand.
"YOU'RE WHAT?!?!" yelled Ryouga. He recieved a swift elbow and a
mean glare from the chimneysweep in response.
"Shut up," grumbled Tanya.
"How did we-"
"Shutupshutupshutup."
"I..." said Konatsu sadly, "I see. Goodbye!" She turned away,
tears flowing, and disappeared into the night. Tanya released
Ryouga's arm and watched her bound into the distance.
Finally she was gone. Tanya breathed a sigh of relief, but a part
of her felt rather guilty at the sight of Konatsu in such a sorry
state. Damn. She hated feeling guilty.
There seemed to be something she was forgetting, but she wasn't
sure... oh! Ryouga! The duel! Aha! She turned, weapons once again
at the ready, and said, "Ryouga Hibiki, prepare to... to..."
<AAAAAAGH! WHERE'D HE GO?!?!>
*
It was a lonely, lonely night.
For Konatsu, it was a bitterly lonely night.
For her entire life, she'd relied on other people. Stronger
people. People with a _purpose_.
Her? She'd never really had a purpose in life. Father told her
what to do, she did it. Mother told her what to do, she did it.
Stepmother and her stepsisters told her what to do, she obeyed. But
at least Father and Mother had loved her. Her stepmother... she
didn't care at all. It was more like mere tolerance, as if Konatsu
was an inconvenience. And that's how she saw herself. An
inconvenience.
And then Noori-sama came along, and took her away from the
pointless and empty life she had. Tanya thought she _was_ somebody.
Noori _cared_ about her.
And then Konatsu ruined it all by opening her heart.
Noori-sama... rejected her.
She dabbled away the tears as they came, and tried to keep warm on
the rooftop. The thin bed sheet draped over her was a makeshift
blanket, but she might as well have been covered by paper.
"My my my," said a smooth, smug voice. "What have we here?"
Konatsu remained curled up on the roof. She didn't care who this
intruder was, she'd lost her Noori-sama.
"Oh, do lighten up, Miss Konatsu. I do believe I can be of
assistance."
<How?> she wondered.
"Oh, I can see you're upset... your dearest Noori-sama rejected
you, yes?" asked the voice. Konatsu nodded sadly, covering her hands
with her eyes. "Well, let me help you out," said the figure
comfortingly as he casually twirled his umbrella. "Trust me."
*
Maybe it was cowardice. Maybe it wasn't. Whatever. Ryouga just
wasn't in the mood to stick around for duels and such. He was also
having a hard time with the concept that he was ENGAGED. How on earth
did THAT happen? It wasn't a situation he wasn't used to, since he
saw Ranma get himself engaged three times... but that was because
Ranma was an idiot or his father was.
Father?
Ryouga briefly wondered about his own father. Would he do
something as stupid as Genma Saotome would? No... no way. At least,
he hoped not. He hadn't seen the man in twelve years, but hoped he
was a good person.
Frowning, he brushed those thoughts aside and decided that getting
home right how was all he needed to worry about.
He blinked.
Home. He was starting to think of Ucchans as home. Somehow, that
seemed right. After all, he hadn't been home in a long while. He
briefly wondered how his family was, hoping that they'd have a reunion
someday. Maybe he could bring Ukyou. That'd be nice...
As he passed another street, he noticed a familiar landmark, the
Seiko General Cinema. If he recalled correctly, Ucchan's was directly
south of here... south... south... hm. He pulled out his compass
necklace and checked, then headed (miraculously) south.
Hey, everyone gets lucky sometimes.
*
"I'm back!" called out Ryouga as he entered the now empty
restaurant. He slowed to a halt as soon as Ukyou's glare hit him.
"Er.... aheh... sorry I'm late."
Ukyou looked a bit upset, but a part of her was quite happy. Not
entirely because Ryouga finally came back, no. Part of this happiness
was rather mischievous, and wanted to have some fun _now_.
"Oh, he's sorry he's late," she said quietly, and in a somewhat
irritated mood. "Mm-hmm."
"So... ah..." he said, feeling he was on really shakey ground here.
"Good timing too," she added.
"Huh?"
"After all the crowds are gone, after the big rush, after all the
hard work is done, you're back," she said, smirking.
"Hey, I _tried_ to get back as soon as I could!"
Suddenly, she smiled. It was a happy smile. It really threw him
off balance. "That's okay, sugar," she said, "'cause you've got
dishwashing duty tonite."
"But..." He hated dishwashing duty. Really hated it. Mostly
because his curse and the occasional switch in water temperature due
to the odd plumbing made for a really irritating time. Usually,
dishwashing duty was determined by a game of poker. Usually.
"No ifs ands or buts, Ryouga," said Ukyou. "Go ahead and get a
little rest first, if ya want, but you _are_ washing dishes tonite."
"Ever thought of just switching to disposable dishes?" wondered
Ryouga.
"Idiot!" she chastised. "I'd end up looking cheap! Anyways, if ya
need anything, I'll be upstairs watching tv. Seeya!" With a smirk
and a laugh, she went upstairs, leaving him to stare at the large pile
of dishes.
"No way..."
*
Ryouga looked at his watch.
One in the morning.
Not bad. Not bad at all. It'd taken only an hour to get to his
room. He shuffled to his bed, noticing that it seemed to have been
tidied up a little. Hm. Ukyou must have done that... gotta thank her
some time for doing that. Without further adieu, he collapsed into
his bed, and was soon sound asleep.
And a moment later, the window opened silently. A figure in black
crept into the room with the stealth of the legendary ninjas and stood
above Ryouga with the intent to Hurt.
Konatsu looked down upon her nemesis, frowning as indecision
assaulted her mind. He said her that Tanya didn't really love this
Ryouga Hibiki, but he was forcing her instead. If that was true, then
Konatsu would be helping her, wouldn't she? But... what if she really
did love him? It would break Noori-sama's heart surely, and she'd
never forgive Konatsu.
Ever.
A cold breeze swept through the room, causing Konatsu to shiver and
Ryouga to pull the covers over himself a bit more. She moved quickly
to close the window and sighed as she stared out at the moon. Things
were never easy.
<Is that a futon? A real futon? Wow, I've never been so close to
one before...>
*
This, he knew was impossible.
Or highly unlikely anyways.
Therefore, it was probably a dream. Might as well enjoy it, then.
"Oh, Ryouga..." sighed Ukyou, laying next to him in his bed.
"U-Ukyou?"
"Hold me," she whispered, sliding into bed next to him.
Well, reasoned a part of his mind, why not? He held her in his
arms and his mind was reeling with the sensation of the scent of her
hair, the softness of her skin, her breath on his chest as she cuddled
next to him.
"Wake u... AAAH!"
Ryouga's eyes fluttered open, awakened by the scream. He wondered
briefly who could have screamed. Maybe Ukyou? No, she was still in
his arms. Couldn't be. Oh well, back to sleep.
But if Ukyou was in his arms, then why was she standing at his
door? Ryouga's brain mulled this one over. It was quite a puzzler,
really. Then his mind reminded him that no, Ukyou shouldn't be in his
arms. THAT was just a dream. The hopeful part of his mind pointed
out that Ukyou had long, dark hair in a ponytail, and the girl in his
arms had one too. Therefore Ukyou WAS in his arms.
Okay, said the rational (and underused) part of his mind, then
explain the (now definitely irate) Ukyou standing in our doorway.
Right then. Not good. We'd better fully wake up.
He never got the chance.
"YOU PERVERT!" bellowed Ukyou, whipping out her battle spatula and
knocking him through the roof in one swift motion. The nerve of that
man! Bringing in his girlfriends and doing who-knows-what under HER
roof! "Oooh, that jerk!"
She turned away from the new Ryouga-shaped skylight in the roof and
was about to stomp back downstairs, when a rather feminine voice said
nervously, "Ah, did I cause trouble by being here? I'm very sorry."
Ukyou turned her attention to the girl in Ryouga's bed, frowning.
"And you are...?"
"Kenzan Konatsu," said the ninjaette, bowing politely.
"Ah. Hope you don't mind me asking, but..."
*
"Man, you look bad today, Ryouga," said Ranma as he, Ryouga, and
several others sat down in the schoolyard for lunch.
"Shut up," grumbled Ryouga.
"Hey, Ryouga," said Hiroshi, "we heard a rumor about you."
"What?"
"Yeah," said Daisuke, "heard you got a fiancee. Is that true?"
"No way!" denied Ryouga vehemently.
"Why Ryouga, you sly pig you," teased Ranma, elbowing him slightly.
"SHUT UP RANMA! It's not like that!" While Ranma smirked and the
other boys talked amongst themselves, Ryouga looked around nervously
for Ukyou. He _really_ hoped that she hadn't heard yet.
Then he spotted her, with Akane and several other girls. Talking.
Uh oh. Too late.
*
"He WHAT?" yelled Ukyou.
"Yeah, heard about it yesterday," said Sayuri.
"Hard to believe, isn't it?" said Yuka.
"I'm sure it's a misunderstanding," said Akane, "right, Ukyou?"
"Hrmph. I don't care what that pervert playboy does," she said,
frowning. For a moment, she glanced at Ryouga sadly, then scowled and
looked away when he met her gaze. So, that Noori girl WAS his
fiancee. The jerk, why'd he go and get himself engaged?! She felt
bitterly alone at that moment. After all, she was the last of the
'old gang' to be left single. Mousse won Shampoo, literally, and
Ranchan had Akane. "That jerk," she muttered under her breath.
Okay, a part of her reasoned, maybe it was a big misunderstanding.
After all, this morning turned out to be a misunderstanding too. As
it turned out, Konatsu was there to confront Ryouga. Something about
honor, freedom, and that Noori girl. Ukyou was still fuming mad at
Ryouga, so only part of her words got through, but at least Konatsu
clearly stated she wasn't interested in Ryouga. Of course, it still
didn't explain what she was doing in his bed, but at the moment Ukyou
didn't insist on an answer to that question.
But that still doesn't explain the fiancee business.
Ukyou gave Ryouga one more venomous glare, then resumed eating her
lunch.
*
"Oh man," said Ranma, "she's definitely mad at you."
"Shutupshutupshutup," growled Ryouga.
"Jeez, Ryouga, how'd you get yourself into this mess?" wondered
Ranma. "I mean, most of my problems was caused by the old man, but
you? I don't remember your dad being as stupid as mine."
"Whatever's going on, I swear, it isn't my fault!" insisted Ryouga.
"HIBIKI!!!"
Ryouga paled. Ukyou scowled. The rest of Furinkan High swarmed to
the action. After all, they could smell a good fight a mile away.
In the middle of the schoolyard, a sooty chimneysweep armed with a
steel-wire brooom advanced menacingly towards.
"Hey, it's your fiancee," said Ranma smugly. He was enjoying this
possibly too much. It was nice to see someone else get this sort of
mess, especially Ryouga.
*WHAM* "SHUT UP!" Ryouga scowled and reached for his umbrella,
while Ranma slid down to the ground, wincing from the elbow Ryouga
nailed him with.
Ryouga didn't like fighting women. Sparring? Sure. Fighting?
No. He would if he had to, but it just didn't strike him as an
honorable thing to do. But at the rate this irate gaijin was going,
never explaining herself and spreading lies, he was reaching his
limit.
Off in the distance, unnoticed by the crowd, a large mass of women,
dangerously armed, sped towards the courtyard, in pursuit of their
personal belongings. Unfortunately for them, their target had a
sizeable lead. Ranma sensed him a few seconds before he arrived, but
Ryouga, Tanya, and the large crowd watching them failed to notice
until they heard the old master's victory cry of...
"Sweeto!"
The miniscule pervert plowed over Ryouga effortlessly, then
suddenly came to a halt next to Tanya and looked her over with
curiosity. Noori, also puzzled, looked over the miniscule menace, not
sure what to make of it.
"Who are you?" she asked, leaning down at him.
"Don't mind me, just passing through," said the little letcher.
"By the way, my compliments on your taste. Very silky, these," he
said, while holding up a bra.
Noori blinked. It _did_ seem kind of breezy all of the sudden, and
that bra looked kind of familiar...
<No... he couldn't av...> A quick self-check proved otherwise, and
Noori suddenly turned red with rage and fixated her fury on one small
pervert. "YOU DIE!!!" She swung her broom around furiously, swiping
at the old man. His speed and dexterity baffled her, as he managed to
dodge all of her strikes effortlessly.
Meanwhile, Ryouga was wondering what he ought to do. Interrupting
might be a good idea. After all, everyone took their turn beating up
Happosai, or at least trying to. Ryouga's mind was quickly made up
when Happy used his face as a springboard while dodging Tanya's
attacks.
"Whoa, look out there, sonny!" called out Happosai as he bounced
away.
"HEY YOU!" bellowed Ryouga. He quickly flung a bandanna at the old
master, which was dodged easily. However, the soot bomb aimed at his
face caught him perfectly and he was quickly gagging on ebony smoke.
"Oww... *kaff* gettin' a bit crowded around here," croaked the
letch.
From Furinkan's rooftop, a shadowy figure watched with concern.
"Noori-sama," she whispered.
*
"What's going on out there?" asked Nabiki. She approached her
henchwomen, who were looking out the window at the moment and down at
the courtyard.
"Martial arts fight," said one.
"And I missed the start?" sighed Nabiki. "Oh well, a missed
opportunity, but not a loss. It isn't all bad. "So, who's involved?"
"That old letch Happosai, Ryouga, and his fiancee."
Nabiki's eyebrow raised. "Ryouga's fiancee?"
"According to the grapevine, yeah. Some gaijin girl from London
waving around a broom."
Nabiki's mind flipped through the known martial artists of the
district, and pulled out one recent entry into her database.
"Tanya Noori?" she wondered.
"Something like that."
"Strange days," said Nabiki, shaking her head. "So how's the fight
going?"
"Can't be sure," said one of the girls. "Noori keeps on bombing
the place with soot bombs. The only thing we've seen is a few
bandannas flying out."
"Say, how's public opinion on this fiancee business?" asked Nabiki.
"80% of Furinkan doesn't buy it. They figure there's no way Ryouga
could possibly ever get a fiancee. Not like her, anyways."
"And our other little Ryouga betting pool?" wondered Nabiki.
"Everyone's spread out on that one, chief. Personally, I'm putting
my money on eight months."
"That'd be a good guess," reasoned Nabiki. "After all, him and
Ukyou are acting like Ranma and Akane already. It's only a matter of
time..."
"What's your guess, boss?"
Nabiki looked down at the soot cloud with amusement. "Knowing how
volatile Ukyou and Ryouga are... eight months does sound good."
"Whoa," said one of the girls looking out from the window, "new
entry into the fray. Just jumped into the big soot cloud from one of
the rooftops."
"Oh? One of the locals or someone new?" asked Nabiki.
"This one... definitely new."
*
Everyone murmered in surprise, as a female ninja joined in the
fray, diving in from the top of Furinkan and into the cloud of soot.
Mutterings and whispers of 'wow, did you see that girl?', 'You think
Ryouga's got himself a harem?' and 'I can't see a thing in that cloud,
this sucks' rippled through the crowd. They were wondering just who
this new and late entry into the day's festivities was and how she was
connected to things.
"Say... that's the girl that was in Ryouga's bed this morning,"
Ukyou muttered. She wondered what, exactly, was going on now.
Unfortunately, people around her overheard her comment and the rumor
mill spread the news like a wildfire.
"Ryouga got caught in bed with..."
"What's that? Ryouga's mistress?"
"Ryouga has a mistress?"
"Hey, didja hear? Ryouga's got these two girls..."
"Wow, I can't believe Ryouga got someone pregnant."
Meanwhile, within the walls of Furinkan, the whispers spread. One
girl ran up to Nabiki and whispered the news in her ear.
"You have _got_ to be kidding," she said.
The girl shook her head.
"Let me get this straight... Ryouga is in a love triangle with the
ninja girl and the gaijin, and now they're both after him because he's
trying to run off and he got them both pregnant?"
"That's what's on the grapevine."
"I haven't heard anything so ridiculous since... well... since
Ranma was in that reversal jewel mess. Oh my."
*
Old masters of The Art should not, felt Happosai, end up in this
sort of situation. He was getting beaten, kicked, shoved, and whapped
all over the place in general, and that was not to his liking at all.
Of course, there was a real quick way to diffuse the situation that
he knew of, and that involved lighting lots of fuses.
No pun intended, of course.
Ryouga, still wading through the thick cloud of soot, felt something
hit his foot. Then, as he waded further, he stumbled on a few other
things lying around on the ground. Something was nagging at him that
this was a Bad Thing, but he wasn't sure entirely why until he finally
heard the distinct sound of fuses burning.
And with Happosai in the fight, that could only mean...
"Oh no."
*
The students of Furinkan were familiar with Happosai. After all,
he'd been regularly raiding the girl's locker rooms for several months
now. They knew when he'd probably strike, where he'd probably
strike, and when things were ready to get ugly.
At the moment, the big hint of the day as far as impending danger
was concerned was a few small bomb-like objects that rolled out from
the soot cloud.
Hiroshi was the first to notice, and sounded off the alert.
"BOMB! DUCK AND COVER!!!"
Students everywhere scattered, diving for cover. The ones watching
from within the building quickly moved away from the windows.
-----BOOM-----
The earth rattled, a few windows cracked, and the sound of thunder
rattled through the neighborhood. When the debris settled, everyone
peered carefully at the scene of the fight.
Happosai, apparently, didn't manage to get away in time. He was
amongst the victims at the blast center, rattled witless by the blast
and looking like a smudge on the ground. Ryouga had become one with
the trees, in a painful sort of way.
In a nearby wall, Tanya Noori was firmly planted, with Konatsu on
top of her, flung by the force of the bombs. She was hurt mostly by
the impact with the wall, spared from the force of the blast by
Konatsu, who had apparently shielded Tanya with her own body. Being
the least injured by the blast, Tanya rose slowly, lowering Konatsu
down carefully.
*Aw, ye stupid gel, y'din't havta dew that... naw look at ye,* she
said, with some irritation but also some worry. *Oy, yew alroight?
Konatsu, c'mon, gel, wakey wak.... ah... wot the bloody hell is this?*
She stared at Konatsu's shirt, which was now torn open due to the
blast, and reached a conclusion. Either Konatsu was really really
really flat-chested, or Konatsu was a man.
... or Konatsu was a man?
Tanya frowned. Then she examined Konatsu's throat _carefully_.
Yup. Adam's apple.
*KONATSU Y'BLOODY PERVERT!* If she hadn't been feeling so sore from
the explosions, she would have killed him. Instead, she passed out.
*
A lean figure emerged from the shadows of Furinkan High's rooftop,
idly spinning an umbrella. He looked down at the mess below and
sighed.
"Not bad... but Konatsu didn't go far enough with Tanya."
Ryo sighed. People these days... you just can't count on them to
be manipulated properly.
Oh well, at least it was all entertaining.
*
Furinkan High Infirmiry, two hours later.
"Hey, sugar, looks like you're still alive after all."
Ryouga groaned. This was the third time he got caught up in that
little freak's bombs, and it was an incredibly unpleasant experience
every time.
"Hi... Ukyou... how long've I..."
"About two hours. How ya feeling?"
"Been... worse."
"Heh. Nurses say all you guys just got mild bruises. Surprising,
when you think about the size of that crater Happosai made."
"Where... is...."
"The pervert? Ranma came by and picked'em up."
"Oh... good."
"You'd better get well soon, sugar, 'cause I don't think you're
gonna like your roommates."
"Roommates?" Ryouga struggled to lift his ringing head, and
strained to look around. There, in the next bed, was Tanya Noori.
Fortunately unconscious. Beyond her was Konatsu, also unconscious.
"I wanna go home. Now."
*
Much to her irritation, by the time she'd been revived, Ryouga had
managed to run from her once more. The jerk. What's worse, she was
now stuck in the infirmiry with that... that... that crossdressing
pervert! She felt she ought to give Konatsu a solid whap on the
noggin for THAT little secret. Then she wondered why she was holding
back.
She whapped him.
"Ooow...." The cross-dressing ninja sleepily blinked his eyes,
looking alarmingly (when you consider Konatsu is a HE) beautiful as he
awoke. "Noori-sama... are you okay?"
"I am fine," replied Tanya with a menacing tone, "now explain
yourself."
Konatsu sat up slowly, still looking disoriented. "Explain...
what?"
"YOU'RE A MAN!!!" bellowed Tanya.
Konatsu frowned. "No I'm not. I'm a girl."
"You are a MAN! Look at your body!"
"Well... stepmother said I was just unusual. I'm still a girl,
though."
*Ya bloody cross-dressing pervert! You are, without a
bleedin'doubt, a MAAAAN!*
"Ano... Noori-sama..."
*WHAAAT?!*
"Could you say that again, in Japanese? My English isn't too
good."
"AAAAAAAGH!"
*
Meanwhile, at Ucchan's...
"They were saying WHAT?!?!"
"That's the rumor that WAS flying around, sugar. Although, now
that everyone knows Konatsu's a guy, it's kinda changed."
"Changed? I... ah... do I really want to know?"
Ukyou smiled. Ryouga paled.
"You're now not only the father of Noori's child, but apparently
you've been having a bi-sexual love triangle with Noori's
cross-dressing boyfriend."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!"
-end part 11-