On Mon, 16 Jun 1997, Everyone at Colliding SYmphonies wrote:

Brazil wrote:

                           A NECESSARY STEP

                   or: What if Tenchi had a spine?

  G.T.---I think I can speak for all of coliding SYmphonies when I say,
Tenchi is cool. I liked this story, though Aeka seemd somehow ooc in her
speech frame. Worth a ten minute dissecting, though.

I`d like examples of what exactly you think didn`t fit.

Allan---Yes I like Tenchi, but every ANime I watch or Manga I read, I
think what if something went this way instead of that? This isn't the
best of the alternates I've read, but it is -very- far from the worst. I

What IS the best then IYO?

hope this series moves well.

I hope it moves at all. I don`t have that much time at the moment...

Trevor---used the 1st What if factor. What if the spineless
protagonist(or is it antagonist) got a backbone? (2nd is take a
character out, or kill off) While this isn't nessesarily a bad thing, it
does tend to loan to simple ideas for the storyboard; a matter of
following through a regular day with the new personality. NO new plot
really.

No new plot?? No, once I write the followup, I`ll give you LOTS
of new plot! This has only begun!

Good prose. Descriptive. Keep it up.

-----
Eimi- language usage is hard for me to understand--leave me confused. I
know my english is bad but story word usage is not very---watery,
fluidy, liquidy.

Um. Now I`d REALLY like a better explanation of that... Maybe you can give
examples of the passages you had problems with?



Michael "Brazil" Borgwardt / 089-3616887 / borgward@informatik.tu-muenchen.de
   Member of #WASHU# and initiate of the Church of Washu-chan, goddess of 
   science, humor and everything and Her prophetess Ryoko the Magnificent.
--------------- Let`s shake the dew off this lily, shall we ? ---------------