Zenki wrote:

This draft was written to fulfill a bet from a friend.  As of now, I'm
glad to say that I have enough money to buy a couple new tapes.
(He bet that I wouldn't dare write a nasty porno story. :) )
Anyhow, I'm happy to say that this is one story that I'm not
going to continue.

	I must ask why you are deciding not to continue this.
wait a minute, you say, you dont want to write the lemons. Well thats
ok.  First off you have a great beginning for a story.  even though
you used some lemon its not that bad.
  First, you already have the lemons out of the way. their is no reson
to do any more lemon seens in this story, a lime or recap of the lemon
might be necessary for the story characters, but it doesent need to be
that graphic. 

Akane:  "YOU DID WHAT?!"
Ranma: in a very quiet voice
      "I um..  had 'sex' with my mom" sex being said very lightly 
        "but I didnt want to she practily forced herself on me."
Akane readies her mallet but is stoped by Nabiki.

this is just a example but you get the idea.
  This story has good potential. expecialy because its not your everyday
Ranma story.

but deffinatly move the focus away from the lemon seens.  they gave the
story what it needed in the beginging but now they only need to be 
refuerd to.

questions that have been left by this story.

how will Akane react to the news?
what does Nabiki do?
how will Genma take it?
What is Ranma going to do, and what about the nibiki, akane confontation
that is going to happen now.
What about all his other fiancees, at least Ukyo (well you knew they
had to be included)

heres a BIG one
what will Nodoka do when she finds out shes been sleeping with her own
son?!

this is just of a few ideas that could make this a great story. 
please don't trash it just because it started bad!!!
PLEASE!

just a thought

Bryan Cupp