Douglas A. Reeves presents . . . 

	Ryouga tossed fitfully in his sleep . . . the nightmare was coming again.
He had relived this moment five thousand times, it seemed, and it still
would not let him go.

	"Bakusai Tenketsu!" he screamed frantically, shattering the boulder that
pinned Ranma to the ground.  Quickly, he swept aside the rubble, trying to
free his friend.
	His friend.  For so long, he had only wanted Ranma dead, and now that he
had gotten over that it seemed he would get his wish.
	Ranma's eyes opened slowly, and he began to speak.  A trickle of blood ran
from the corner of his mouth as he forced out the words.  "Ryouga . . .
protect Akane.  I . . . won't be around . . . to do it anymore."  He
convulsed in another fit of coughing, spitting up more blood.  "Tell her .
. . I love her."
	"No!  Ranma!" Ryouga protested.  "You can't . . . ."  It was too late.
Ranma's eyes had closed already, and his chest heaved one last time before
he lay still.  Desperately, Ryouga tried to revive him, but to no avail.
Ranma was dead, and there was nothing he could do.

	As always, it was at this point that Ryouga awoke.  The depression was
overwhelming, and he had to have a release.  "Shishi Houkoudan!" he cried,
the column of ki-energy erupting from him in its most perfect form.  He'd
sought that form for so long; he didn't want it anymore.

****************************************************************

Tainted Honor
A Ranma 1/2 fanfiction by Douglas A. Reeves

****************************************************************

Chapter One - Ill Tidings

	As Ryouga set his foot on the first step, he suddenly realized he'd made
it without getting lost.  <If the mission is urgent enough,> he thought
sadly.  Trembling, he knocked on the front door.
	Thankfully, it was Kasumi who answered.  "Hello, Ryouga," she started
cheerfully, then suddenly fell silent at the sight of him.  Ryouga was a
pale shadow of his usual self, ragged and miserable.  There was no life in
his eyes, only the look of a man haunted.  She wondered what could be wrong
when it struck her.  He was alone.
	"Kasumi, could you please get Akane?" he asked in a whisper.
	Dread gripped Kasumi's heart.  "It's Ranma, isn't it?"
	"Just get her!" was his suddenly intense response.
	Kasumi nodded and disappeared into the house.

	Akane knew something was wrong from the look on Kasumi's face.  She hadn't
looked that bad since . . . she didn't want to think about that.
	"Ryouga is here, he wants to see you." Kasumi said, her voice hollow.
	Akane's eyes widened.  "Ryouga?  Oh, no . . . ."  She broke from her room,
pushing by her sister and running down the stairs.  The sight of Ryouga
only increased her panic.  His clothes were in tatters, he was soaking wet,
and he looked more depressed than she'd ever seen him.  This was bad.
Tears began to form in her eyes.  "Ranma . . . ."
	"Ranma . . . ." Ryouga began, struggling to finish the statement.  "Ranma
. . . didn't make it."
	Akane fell backward as if struck.  "NO!  He can't die!  He can't!"
	Ryouga hung his head, "He . . . his last words . . . he told me to tell
you he loved you."
	"NO!" the last scream tore itself from Akane, and she threw herself at
Ryouga, sobbing violently.  Ryouga just put his arms around her, holding
her tightly.  It rent his heart to see her in such pain, and he stayed with
her there long into the night.

* * * * * * * *

	"So, how did it happen?" Genma asked wearily.
	"The relic," Ryouga indicated the ancient symbol which lay on the floor
before him, "was at the top of a towering cliff.  We had to climb for it,
and Ranma got there first.  Immediately, he used it, and the magic worked.
We didn't . . . we didn't know about the guardian.
	"The guardian was, well . . . I guess it would be described as a dragon.
It was terrifyingly powerful, and it shrugged off every attack we threw at
it.  It ignored techniques, ki-blasts, everything.  We couldn't touch it.
	"Ranma . . . he screamed at me to get clear, then leaped in with the most
powerful ki-blast I've ever seen . . . I think he made it up right there.
It worked, whatever it was --the guardian fell -- but it took out the
entire cliff face with it.  Ranma fell," Ryouga's voice broke, and he hung
his head, "and I didn't get to him in time.  A boulder fell on him,
crushing him.
	"Before he died, he asked me to protect Akane, and to tell her he loved her."
	Genma nodded solemnly.  "A warrior's death.  It . . . honors him."
	"He died a whole man."
	Again Genma nodded.  "And bought wholeness for many others as well.
Still, I would gladly give up mine to have him back."
	"As would we all," agreed Ryouga quietly.
	Throughout this, Nodoka had kept her head bowed, tears streaming down her
face.  Looking over at her, Genma sighed, "Would you please leave us now?"
he asked, turning to Ryouga.
	Ryouga nodded silently.  Slowly he rose and made his way out into the
rain.  The sensation of the droplets on the skin of his arms was one he was
still not accustomed to, and there were times when he did not appreciate
it.  Right now, he would almost have liked to have the curse back.  P-chan
could have hidden from the pain.
	That line of thought led to Akane, and Ryouga felt tears welling in his
own eyes.  <Oh, that I could ease her suffering.  Why, Ranma, did you have
to die?>

	At the same time, in her room, Akane was asking the same question.
Staring out the window into the tempestuous night, she remembered his final
words to her.
"I've got to do this," he had explained.  "I can't live with this stupid
curse any longer."
"Baka," she whispered desperately.  "Didn't you understand that I loved you
the way you were?"  The night gave her no answer.  She was alone.

* * * * * * * * *

	The cemetery was oddly quiet, considering those present.  Ukyou, Shampoo,
Kodachi, Akane . . . it was a battle waiting to happen, except that nothing
remained to fight for.  Others were there, as well.  Kunou was there,
though he himself was not sure why.  The Saotome and Tendou families were
present as well.  A few friends and even some old enemies had arrived also,
some without invitation, to pay respect to the fallen warrior.
	For the first time since that fateful day, Ryouga was thankful for the
cure.  A light rain was falling on the assembly, and Akane needed him as a
man to comfort her.  P-chan . . . well, P-chan could be no more.  Even
without the cure, Ranma had charged him to protect Akane, and he could not
take advantage of her in such a way again.  He could not, and would not.
	Looking at Akane, he realized for the first time just how much she had
loved Ranma.  She wore the look of one shattered, hopelessness and
depression engraved on her face.  She hardly spoke anymore, not even in
anger, and she had not smiled even once.  It was as if her heart was gone,
Ryouga reflected.  Perhaps it was.
	The memorial service passed, but Ryouga himself noticed very little of it.
 At the end, each of Ranma's friends was given a chance to speak.  Shampoo
spoke of his strength, Ukyou of his loyalty, and Akane lamented her
inability to express her love.  Suddenly, Ryouga found it was his turn.  He
hadn't thought of anything to say, but there was one side which hadn't been
covered yet.
	"Ranma was," he began hesitantly, "if he was anything, he was honorable.
He always kept his word, and always stood up for his friends.  He fought as
fairly as he did skillfully, and he never quit.  If he wronged someone, he
sought to make it right, even when they would not allow it."
	"I wish I could claim to be as honorable as he."
	As he finished, he could feel a tear forming in his eye, and he tried to
prevent it from falling.  Not wanting to be seen as weak, he stepped aside,
and moved to stand by Akane.  Depression overwhelmed him again as the
memories returned.

	Akane stood silently at Ranma's grave long after the others had gone;
Ryouga, concerned for her, loitered some distance away.  He was hidden
behind a large tree, and was pretty sure she didn't see him.  Finally, she
sighed and turned to walk away, and it was at this point that she spoke.
	"Thank you, Ryouga."
	<Nani?>  he thought, startled, "You . . . knew I was here?"
	Akane nodded sadly.  "Yes.  Thank you . . . for watching over me, and for
what you said earlier."
	"He . . . he asked me to protect you."
	Akane smiled wryly, a smile which faded as quickly as it came on.  "He
would."
	"I would be here, even if he hadn't."
	"I know.  Can you," she hesitated, sighing, "Can you walk home with me?"
	Ryouga nodded.  "Anything you ask."
	"Thanks . . . again."
	An eerie silence fell over them as they walked back to the Tendou home.
All the interruptions, the battles large and small . . . they were all over
now.  Ranma had been the center of Nerima's chaos ever since his arrival,
and it had died with him.  The calm was oppressive, driving home the sense
of loss.
	<Dear Akane,> Ryouga sympathized, looking at her.  <It hurts me so to see
you in such pain.  I wish I could help you.>  Instinctively, he put his arm
around her; she stiffened, and he feared he had made a mistake.  Slowly,
though, she allowed herself to relax in the comforting embrace.
	"Akane," he half-whispered after a while.
	"Yes?" 
	"I . . . I'm sorry I didn't save Ranma."
	She looked surprised.  "Ryouga . . . you told me the story; there was
nothing you could have done."
	<I wish I could believe that,> he thought sadly.  "Maybe . . . I wish I
had died in his place.  Then you would not be so sad."
	She looked genuinely touched.  "That's . . . noble of you, Ryouga; still,
I would have been very sad if you had died as well."
	Ryouga allowed himself a slight, sad smile.  "Thank you, Akane."
	Akane nodded.  "Thank you, for being such a good friend."
	Silence reigned for another few minutes, until they reached the dojo.
Turning to face him, Akane whispered, "Thank you, Ryouga, for being here."
	Ryouga nodded solemnly.  "I will always be here, anytime you need me."
	"I . . . appreciate it.  Good night, Ryouga."
	"Good night, Akane."

	Once she had gone inside, Ryouga suddenly realized that he had no place to
stay.  Still, Ranma had other friends, surely one of them could put him up
for the night, considering the circumstances.  Deciding to try Ukyou first,
he set off toward her shop.
	Again alone, he faced the memories.  The elation of seeing Ranma dump a
canteen of water over his head without changing, the momentary celebration,
and the interruption that was a dragon's roar . . . the battle that raged,
with all his attacks ineffectual; he couldn't even throw a decent Shishi
Houkoudan, the thought of being cured had robbed him of depression.
Ranma's final attack, a devastating explosion of ki-energy that had
shattered the cliff face, and Ryouga's desperate dive to catch him before
he fell.  He had missed him by less than a second, even a half-second --
and he knew where that precious time had gone.  He knew . . . and the
knowledge broke him.
	Tears began to fall as he walked away.

************
End part one


Author's notes :  I must first state that the background story here was
inspired by Nicholas Leifker's "Journeys" (though obviously with a
different ending), and I owe him thanks for that.  My debt to him does not
end there, though . . . his friendship and encouragement are greater gifts
for which there are not adequate words to express my appreciation.  I would
also like to extend special thanks to those on my prereader list.  Thanks.

This story is my first Ranma work of any length (the only other being 19
lines or so), so I would really appreciate C&C on this.  I am yet a bit
unsteady in my handling of the characters (though I feel pretty comfortable
with Ryouga); this is especially true of Akane.

Already I have been asked by a prereader why I chose the title "Tainted
Honor".  I can only say that the reasons are hinted at here, and that they
will become more apparent as the story moves on.

Anyway, thanks for taking the time to read this, and any comments are very
appreciated.
*************************************************************
Douglas A. Reeves <dougreeves@earthlink.net>
Storm Warnings - http://web2.airmail.net/a0011387/
Fanfic Archive - http://web2.airmail.net/a0011387/fanfic.html
-------------------------------------------------------------

"Well, they are lucky.  Let them be
 nine-lived and contradictory,
 curious enough to change, prepared to pay
 the cat price, which is to die
 and die again and again,
 each time with no less pain.
 A cat minority of one
 is all that can be counted on
 to tell the truth.  And what cats have to tell
 on each return from hell
 is this: that dying is what the living do,
 that dying is what the loving do,
 and that dead dogs are those who do not know
 that dying is what, to live, each has to do."
		from "Curiosity", by Alastair Reid