The Game is Cat and Mouse 
by jeff shelton 
    jws1@webtv.net 

Some definite possibilities for heavy suspense here.

I'll try to send some detailed comments on this story sometime when I'm
awake. :) One thing I noticed on a quick read-through:

Shampoo thinks as she watches Akane struggle out of her gi. 'to bad i
could not find the real jusenkyo water. however the instant jusenkyo
spring water salts do come in handy. till it wears off lets play and
have some fun!' 

The readers probably should not be told this. You'll get a lot more
dramatic tension if the readers don't know that this curse is only
temporary. We especially should not be told that Shampoo isn't planning
on killing Akane, if this paragraph is to be interpreted as saying that.

It would be better instead to give us Akane's point of view here, I
think. How do things look from her perspective? How does it feel to be a
mouse? What does she fear Shampoo will do to her? Etc.

Truthfully I can use some help with the next chapter. The action scenes
just do not work well.

Not really my specialty, but I'll help if you want, since you've been
good enough to comment on my fics in the past.

When did  Nodoka meet Shampoo before or after she found out about the
curses?

I'm fairly sure it was after finding out Ranma's curse -- if she ever
met Shamps at all.

Gary Kleppe
kleppe@execpc.com, Home page http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe
My fanfics and the FFML map are on my comics/manga page,
       http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe/comics