The bits of story are spaced out in between the credits; so don't stop
reading if you are the type who skips author's notes. ;)
----------------------------------------------------------------------
EPILOGUE

   "Oh Soun-sama! Where are you? AHAhAHaHahaHAhA!"

   Ranma and Akane winced as Kodachi bounced merrily through the 
dojo, looking for her new husband. Nabiki had arranged for them to 
to go on a long honeymoon, far, far away from Tokyo. Everyone 
was counting the hours til they left.

   "Baka," Akane muttered sourly. "This is all your fault."

   "My fault! Why?"

   "Because you missed with the stupid cure, that's why!"

   Ranma glumly watched Kodachi race through the living room, 
leaving a trail of black petals behind her. "I didn't miss, you 
macho chick. It's not my fault that weirdo appeared out of 
nowhere."

   "WHERE IS THE TENDO DOJO!"

   Shooting Ranma a This-Isn't-Over-Yet glare, Akane walked 
across the living room and opened a closet, revealing Ryoga 
attempting to get directions from a coat.

   "I SAID, uh, oh, hi Akane..."

   Sensing that Ryoga was in one of his more volitile moods, 
Ranma began to edge out of the room. Sadly, the movement only 
attracted the Lost Boy's attention.

   "RANMA! TODAY IS THE DAY I..."

   "Look, not in the dojo, okay, P-chan?"

   Akane giggled in spite of herself. "That's right, Ryoga. I found 
out you're really *snicker* P-Chan with a Jusenkyo curse!"

    Ranma winced.

   "Isn't that funny, Ryoga-kun? Nabiki came up with that... um, 
Ryoga? What are you doing with that tanto?"

   Ranma walked over, took the ritual dagger out of Ryoga's 
trembling hands, and walked him a distance away from the 
puzzled Akane. "Look, Ryoga... I know it's rough, knowing that she 
hates your guts and all..."

   Ryoga gave a strangled whimper and reached for the tanto again. 
Ranma gently pulled it away.

   "But look, man, I think she'll forgive you. Just give me time to 
persuade her. In the meantime, maybe you'd better lie low for a 
bit, okay?"

   The Lost Boy jerkily nodded. "O-okay. Thanks, Ranma." Hefting 
his pack, he charged off into the sunset, leaving Ranma to muse 
over how easy some people were to manipulate.

   "Hi Ranma," said Nabiki.

   Reaching for his wallet in an almost Pavlovian response, he 
turned. "Yeah?"

   Nabiki gave a predatory grin. "Oh, nothing. Just wanted to thank 
you for curing me, and for taking that job. You ARE going to 
continue working there, yes?"

   "No. No way in hell."

   The smile got bigger. "What a shame. Guess I'll just have to tell 
Akane that you've been spending every meal at Ukyo's."

   "I'm asking for a raise."

   "Good boy." She yawned, and walked over to Akane. "Look, sis, 
sorry about... well... you know. I wasn't myself."

   Akane smiled. "It's okay, Nabiki. You don't have to keep 
apologizing."

   Nabiki shrugged uncomfortably. "Yeah, well, I just don't want 
you to think I'm a pervert or anything."

   "It's okay, really. Look, I'll prove it. We'll go take a bath, ne? 
You can soap my back."

   Nabiki chuckled. "Fair enough."

   The two sisters left, passing Kasumi on their way out. Ranma 
shook his head. Kasumi used to seem so... reassuring. Now she was 
beginning to give him the creeps.

   Taking a dustpan, Kasumi began to sweep up the trail of rose 
petals Kodachi had left. "Hello, Ranma!"

   "Hey, Kasumi. You, uh, feeling alright again?"

   "Oh, yes. Although the dreams seem to be coming while I'm 
awake and the silly voices won't leave me alone." The phone rang. 
"Ranma, could you please get that for me?"

   Nodding, he picked up the handset. "Tendo-ke."

   "*Ranma? This is Doctor Tofu. Look, I've been doing some more 
tests on that love potion..."

   Ranma swallowed. "Oh no, don't tell me the cure doesn't work or 
somthin'!"

   "*Oh, the cure works. It's just that the people who were 
drugged might have momentary relapses for a few minutes. They 
should be completely gone within the week."

   "Okay, doc. Thanks for the warning."

   Akane's screams of panic started a few seconds before he hung 
up the phone. Ranma mentally debated whether or not to run in the 
bathroom and help, but wisely concluded that this would just get 
him a hammer blow.

   "Oh, Ranma, could you get me another duck? That last one you 
brought home was delicious."

[End Theme: A Girl Needs A Knife, by the Flash Girls]

* * *

Guest Stars, in no particular order:

Gosunkugi Sicarii     - Ranma 2096
Mulder and Scully     - The X-Files
The Institut Rats     - Tales From The Blau Teufel
Van Helsing           - Dracula
Foxtrot          |
Travis Butler    |
RpM              |
Thom Youngblood  |}- The Nameless Prereader Crew
Kergma           |
Kevin Eav        |
Zen              |
The Librarian         - The Discworld Series
The Rifts Gamers      - KawaiiMuck
The Blue Locket       - Converging Series

* * *

   Shampoo lay back in her hospital bed, moaned, and wished the 
nurses would just sedate her until she was able to get up and 
about again.

   It wasn't the pain. Granted she _did_ hurt like hell; Ranma's 
Hiryuu Shoten Ha had broken her leg and sprained several 
important joints. The fact that he had thought he was attacking 
someone who had killed her made it slightly easier to bear, and 
Amazons are taught to ignore pain anyway.

   It wasn't the boredom. Kodachi visited every day, and brought 
her books, tapes, and a dartboard with a picture of Nabiki tacked 
to it. Nabiki... was going to DIE. Horribly. With loving care paid to 
every little detail. Shampoo had whiled away many hours by 
planning out torture routines that would have made the Spanish 
Inquisition gag.

   It wasn't the embarrassing application of the Fifth Rule of 
Hospital Stay (You can't fasten that stupid little gown properly in 
the back, and all your nurses are of the opposite gender). It wasn't 
the fact that some moron had spilled a glass of water on her. It 
wasn't the fact that she hadn't seen Ranma since he gave her a 
one-way ticket on Ki Blast Airlines.

   It was the fact that those two idiots with the German accents 
kept trying to exorcise and psychoanalyze her. At the same time.

   "Ah so, tell me about your relationship with your father."

   "I charge thee, in the Name of St Michael, remove thyself from 
this girl's body!"

   "Shut up."

   "Now now, you must cooperate if you wish to be cured. I am 
thinking perhaps the root of your problems comes from a 
Hostility/Attraction Complex toward iguanas...."

   "Return from whence thou came, hellspawn! I abjure thee from 
this plane of existance!"

   "Go away."

   She didn't think she could take much more of this.

   Luckily for her, Kodachi picked that moment to walk in.

   "How are you doing, dear?"

   "Fine, Ko-chan. Could you please defensterate these two 
windbags?"

   "What? Vas ist?"

   *snap*snap*

  "EEEEEYAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

   Kodachi rolled her ribbon back up and closed the window. "Your 
room's on the third floor, you know."

   "Yes. Hopefully they landed on their heads." Shampoo smiled 
wistfully at this thought. "So. What have you brought me today?"

   "Well," Kodachi said, fumbling through her bag, "I have the 
Anarchist's Cookbook, Atemi for Romance and Relationships, 1001 
Things To Do With A Dead Nabiki..."

   "You're kidding."

   "Nope. Seems she extorted money from the president of the 
Publications Club, and he printed a joke book as his revenge."

   Shampoo grinned. "And he got away with it?"

   "Well, sort of. Nabiki demanded and got 60% of the profits."

   "Wow. Still, should be a fun read."

   "Oh yes. Check out #23."

   Taking the book, Shampoo eagerly flipped to the right page. 
"Bronze the corpse, put on roof, and use as gargoyle to scare away 
evil spirits. I love it!"

   Kodachi began her maniacal laugh, but was stopped short by the 
door crashing inwards, revealing a gigantic pig and a young lady 
dressed in prison clothing.

   "Um, hi," said the convict. "Look, Shampoo, can we talk?"

   "Unryuu, right?" Shampoo asked, propping herself up. "Sure."

   "Alone?"

   Kodachi stood. "I'll just wait outside." She nodded pleasantly, 
and walked out.

   The pig began to chew on the IV line. Oblivious, Akari sat down 
by the side of the bed. "Gee, this is sorta embarrassing..."

   "What is?"

   "Well... see, the Unryuus need strong people to manage the pig 
farm. So every daughter gets sent out with instructions to marry 
whoever is able to beat Katsunishiki here."

   Shampoo nodded. "My village has similar customs and rules."

   Akari brightened. "Oh, good! Then you might handle this better 
than I hoped!"

   Alarm bells began going off in Shampoo's head, worsening the 
migrane that had already begun to form. "What do you mean?"

   "Well, see, you defeated Katsunishiki. And custom is custom, 
and there is a precedent...."

   "Oh no... look, I'm already in love with someone, and I like 
men..."

   Akari shrugged. "So do I, but the law is the law."

   "But I'm not an Unryuu! Your custom doesn't apply to me! You 
can't make me!" Somehow, Shampoo felt she had heard this 
argument before...

   "Sorry, I have no choice. The priest will be here in a few 
seconds, and I'm afraid..." she paused to rummage around hin 
Katsunishiki's saddlebags, withdrawing a pump action shotgun  
"...I'm afraid I can and will make you. We'll have to hurry, 
though. I think the police might know where I am."

   Shampoo stared at the 12-gauge in disbelief. "Police?"

   "Yeah. See, I just broke out of prison..."

   And suddenly the door was filled with people in uniforms, 
carrying guns. "FREEZE, UNRYUU!"

   Akari dived behind the bed and fired the shotgun wildly over it. 
"YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE, COPPERS! YAAAAAAAAA!"

   Shampoo just sank lower in the bed, pulled the covers up, and 
wished she was somewhere else.

[End Theme: Surf Rider, by the Lively Ones (Pulp Fiction 
Soundtrack)]

* * *

The Nameless Sequel was written to the following CDs

Pulp Fiction Soundtrack
Maurice and I - by The Flash Girls
Another Way To Travel, by Cats Laughing
Numerous Cds by The Pogues
I'm Your Fan - by numerous artists (REM, Pixies, Nick Cave, etc)
Superunknown - by Soundgarden
The Mikado - composed by Gilbert and Sullivan
The Real Thing - by Faith No More
Heavy Metal Soundtrack
Numerous CDs by Enya
Twin Peaks Soundtrack

* * *

   Ukyo leaned back,her face slightly flushed. "Ooooooh. Aaaah. Oh, 
Saburo, that was wonderful."

   "Mmmm. Thanks, I enjoyed it myself. You've got white stuff on 
your face, by the way."

   "Yeah, it did kinda spurt all over the place."

   "French food is like that. Weird sauces and such. More wine?"

  She shook her head. "I've already got a slight alcohol blush. Let's 
pay and get going, ne?"

   Saburo nodded, and signaled to the waiter. "Well, I had fun. 
Thanks for coming with me."

   She smiled. "The pleasure was all mine. It was nice to have 
someone treat me to free food, instead of the other way around." 
Sitting up in her chair, Ukyo looked at him speculatively.  "So. Who 
are you planning to marry?"

   He looked startled. "Marry? No-one, at least at the moment. I 
mean, I really like you, and I had a great night. But even if you 
asked me - and you're the leading candidate on my list of people 
I'd like a relationship with - I'd say no. I'm only 17; I have years 
to go before I'm gonna start thinking about marriage."

   Ukyo thought about this for a second.

   The more she thought, the more it made sense.

   Ranma was a nice guy, and she knew he'd be a great husband.

   But he wasn't the only one.

   Maybe she'd marry Ranma. Maybe Akane would. Or maybe 
someone they hadn't even met yet would.

   She smiled, and for the first time in years honestly didn't care 
which happened.

[End Theme: Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For, by U2]

* * *

Special Thanks To:

Chris "Hey Sable, can I have a Sicarii to kill?" Willmore 
Trisha "What the ^$%$#^ is a carisak, anyway?" Sebastian
RpM "Make it funny." and the Muhoshin Review Team "Wai! Blood 
and violence!"
Travis "You're going to die for this, you know" Butler
Thom "Why sure I'll tell you who Tybalt is" Youngblood
James "But Zen doesn't dislike Akane! Really!" Bateman
Kevin "I've started another story" Eav
Susan "I like mental illness in a person" Doenime
Kergma "Quiet, stickboy" The Chaotic
Marisa "Hades should be capitalized" Price

* * *

   The T'Kraal cruiser found the twisted hulk of the invasion ship 
floating off Neptune.

   "Life signs?"

   "Only one, sir. Can't quite get a fix on it."

   "Hmm. Very well, retrieve it and send a rescue team aboard."

   Firing thrusters, the mighty, city-sized dreadnought pulled 
close. Tractor beams slowly pulled the battered craft into one of 
the five-mile docking bays, as Imperial Marines and a Emergency 
Medical Death Commando Squad hustled into position.

   On the bridge, the Captain listened as the Marines used a laser 
cutter to open the main hatch.

   "*We're in... ugh, lookit that..."

   "*Bodies everywhere, sir. They look a bit chewed on. Something 
must have boarded them."

   "Any sign of resistance?"

   "*Yes sir. A lot of the dead personnel are holding blasters..."

   "Captain, the lifeform is moving towards them."

   "Lieutenant, you've got something heading for your position."

   "*Yessir, I can hear it coming... weapons ready, men."

   Silence reigned on the bridge, as everyone waited for the 
expected laser fire over the comlink.

   "*There it... oh, for Gh-nodal's sake, it's only a cat. Kawaii 
little thing, too. Here kitty kitty..."

   Then the screaming started.

   Because of the size of the cruiser, it didn't stop for almost a 
week.

[End Theme: Everybody Wants To Rule The World, by Tears For Fears]

* * *

   Written on a Mac Color Classic
   Coffee by Mad Doug's Java Hole
   There probably won't be a sequel. Probably.
   Fnord.

END OF EPILOGUE

FINIS