Thanks to:
Paul Ballard <paulwb@mcs.net.au> I actually had a response to my
first fanfiction! Thanks, Arigato, Gracias, etc!
Samurai Pizza Cats: the Catatonic Saga
by Josh Green
(sort@bucket.ualr.edu)
Episode 2
'Triple Date Trouble'
*****
Disclaimer:
Samurai Pizza Cats is copyrighted by Sotsu Agency, Tatsunoko Production
Co, Ltd., Saban International Services, Inc., and Saban International
N.V., all rights reserved.
This story is a work of fanfiction, and as such uses the characters
without permission and is not done for profit. This story is not meant
to encroach on the owner's rights, but is made exclusively for the
purpose of entertainment (hopefully). I respectfully ask that it only
be redistributed in the original format.
Notes:
This series of stories starts around 6 months after 'The Big Comet
Caper', so some of the characters and/or their relationships are
altered. This is an on-going series of stories and although I will
attempt to make each episode enjoyable individually, I suggest you read
the previous episodes in order to fully understand what is happening.
(Mail me at sort@bucket.ualr.edu for previous episodes.)
I apologize in advance for any references to other Anime, Sci-Fi, or
Cartoon series/movies, as well as the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
These works belong to their respective authors/creators.
( ) = indicates author's notes or information
[ ] = indicates actions or descriptions
* * = indicates sound effects
< > = indicates thought
_ _ = indicates emphasis
*****
[Scene: a small room with a single, bare electric bulb illuminating the
interior. Through a small window set in one wall, the sun can be seen
near the horizon. Seymour Big Cheese is pacing the room, in front of a
blank, free-standing blackboard, while Jerry Atrick sits on the floor
with his eyes closed.]
Narrator: A beautiful end to a beautiful day here in Little Tokyo.
[Confused] Hmm... am I on the right page?
Seymour: Yes! Now that nighttime is almost here, we can begin
implementing my next plan for control of Little Tokyo. (Just
in case you've forgotten what the show is about.)
Narrator: Well, what an odd way to begin an episode! The Big Cheese is
about to release his next Evil Plot (tm) on the sleepy
residents of our fair city.
Seymour: [Grinning] Like a fox in a hen-house, I tell ya. [Shudders
slightly] Those things give me the shivers.
Jerry: [Opening his eyes and giving Seymour an odd look.] Hen-houses?
[Seymour whacks Jerry on the head with a closed fan.]
Seymour: [Angry] Of course not! I mean foxes! [More calmly] The little
critters are so odd-looking, just seeing a picture of one sends
chills down my spine. (1)
Narrator: Be that as it may, perhaps it's time for you to explain your
Evil Plot (tm) for our audience.
Seymour: All in good time. First, I want to introduce my nephews, who
are going to be helping us from now on.
[Four black blurs come from the corners of the room and land, kneeling,
in front of Seymour, revealing themselves to be four rats wearing black
armor with no helmets. On each set of armor, there is a logo placed
above the heart that looks like a white rat's face inside a red circle.
(The official logo of the Big Cheese, of course!)]
Seymour: I'd like you to meet Moe [a rat with odd hair bangs], Larry [a
rat with curly hair, but bald on top], Curly [a rat without any
hair], and Ix [a completely inconspicuous rat], but everybody
just calls him Ford. (2)
[As Seymour calls their names, each of them stand and bow to him.]
Jerry: <I sense great Ninja strength coming from all of them.> [To the
four.] How long have you studied Ninjitsu?
Moe: Actually, we've been working as Wal-Mart clerks for the past five
years. We've learned many Ninja skills, such as being able to
instantly disappear from sight, but much more quickly than we would
have through normal training.
Jerry: [Shocked] What a grueling method! You must be very dedicated to
the Art.
Seymour: And they've just passed the final test! Actually facing a
customer and answering their questions while leaving them more
confused than before!
Jerry: [Thoughtfully, while stroking his chin.] It has been a long time
since I've heard of Ninjas with such skill at deception and
redirection.
Seymour: Best of all, they've sworn their allegiance to me! I'm certain
my 'Rat Pack' will succeed where the Rude Noise failed.
Jerry: You couldn't come up with a better name than that?!
Seymour: [Slightly annoyed] Well, 'Fearsome Four' was already taken.
[Normally] Nevertheless, it is _now_ time to unveil my Evil
Plot (tm)!
[Seymour flips the blackboard over, revealing his plans.]
Narrator: And what a plot it is! No... wait, that's just a map of
Little Tokyo.
Seymour: [Annoyed] What did you expect? Lake Michigan? [Normally] Now
then, I recently came into possession of ten tons of marshmallow
fluff and have devised a plan that will put it to good use.
Jerry: [Surprised] Where in the world did you get that much marshmallow
fluff?
Seymour: From the ACME supply company in America. It's amazing what all
they have for sale.
Narrator: Actually, what he said to the ACME agent was that ten March
melons would be enough, but the Big Cheese doesn't speak very
good English.
Seymour: [Very Annoyed] Oh, be quiet, big mouth! [Continues more
calmly, but still agitated.] Using my brilliant mind, I was
able to turn this mistake into a lucky stroke for us.
[Normally] You see, the United Nations has no real power, but
at times they are able to get governments to do as they want by
imposing bans and sanctions on a country. [Excitedly] What I
intend to do is barricade Little Tokyo from the rest of the
world until the government surrenders absolute control over to
me! [Seymour imagines Little Tokyo literally in the palm of his
hand with a fiery background behind him.] *HAHAHAHAHA!!!*
Jerry: *Ahem.*
[Seymour stops laughing and looks at Jerry.]
Jerry: But how do you plan to cut off Little Tokyo? There are three
major highways into the city and the Little Tokyo Bay as well.
Seymour: [Grinning] That's where the marshmallow fluff comes into play.
We can use it to block the roads and fill up the bay, so that
no vehicles will be able to get through!
Jerry: And how are we going to transport ten tons of fluff?
Seymour: Like this! [Holds up a small capsule in his hand.] One ton of
dehydrated marshmallow fluff, just add water.
[Seymour tosses one capsule each to Moe, Larry, and Curly and a small
bag to Ford.]
Seymour: One ton should be enough to clog up each highway and we'll drop
the rest into the Little Tokyo Bay.
Moe: What if the Samurai Pizza Cats try to stop us?
Seymour: Don't worry, you won't have to do a thing. I've got something
special surprise planned that will put them in a GUI situation.
Narrator: Don't you mean _gooey_?
Seymour: [So annoyed that his face turns red.] No! I meant GUI! As in
Great Unresistable Interference. Now stop bugging me or I'll
swat you!
Narrator: [Sarcastically] Sorry.
Jerry: [Trying to calm Seymour down before he explodes.] What did you
have in mind, anyway?
Seymour: [Calms down and begins to smile viciously.] It's simple,
really. It has to do with this! [Holds up a small vile filled
with a green liquid.] *HEHEHE!!!*
Jerry: <A devious chuckle instead of a maniacal laugh? Cheesy is
definitely up to something.>
[Zoom in on the vile in the Seymour's hand.]
*****
[Scene: a very similar vile, but this one is being held by a blue,
armored glove. Zoom out to reveal the kitchen of the Samurai Pizza
Cats' Headquarters. Guido Anchovis is holding the vile. The other
members of the Pizza Cats (Speedy Cerviche, Polly Esther, Good Bird,
Carla, and Francine) are standing around him.]
Narrator: Whatever that liquid is, the Pizza Cats happen to have a
sample of their own.
Polly: What is it, Guido?
Guido: I don't know, Polly. But it's the only thing I found at the
Chinese herbal store that Big Al wanted us to check out. The
place was totally deserted.
[Speedy swipes the vile away from Guido and looks at it closely.]
Speedy: You think this stuff is somehow connected to the Dragon Dynasty?
Good Bird: Just in case it is, you should be careful with it. There's no
telling what it might do.
[Speedy looses his grip on the vile momentarily, causing the rest of the
group to look panicked.]
Speedy: [Regaining his grip on the vile.] Don't worry, nothing will go
wrong!
Narrator: Famous last words from our furry hero.
[At that particular moment, the cork sealing the vile shut pops off.]
Speedy: Oops.
[Green fumes come out of the vile and travel under Speedy's nose.]
Speedy: [Sniffing the fumes.] *Hmm...* Smells like sardines.
[Everyone in the room except Speedy and Francine face-fault.]
Francine: [Interested] Really? I wonder if it would make a good pizza
topping?
Good Bird: [Standing back up] I don't think that's a good idea.
Francine: Oh, don't be such a worry-puss, er, worry-crow. Surely
something that smells like sardines wouldn't be bad for you.
[Francine takes the vile from Speedy and begins to make a
pizza.] Besides, Speedy can be the test subject.
Good Bird: Well, in that case, I don't see a problem.
Guido: Me neither.
Speedy: [Sarcastically] Thanks a lot, guys.
[Francine places the pizza into one of the ovens.]
Polly: Well, while you're waiting for your snack, Speedy, Carla and I
are going to get ready for our date. [She and Carla leave.]
Guido: Hey! That's right. I've got to pick up Lucille by eight
o'clock. [He leaves.]
Francine: Since we're not going to be open tonight, I think I'll go to
the bingo parlor.
Speedy: Since when did you like playing bingo?
Francine: I don't, but there are a lot of rich widowers there on
single's night. *Hehehe.* [She leaves.]
Good Bird: I'm going to go get ready also. Besides, I'm sure you can
take care of this big, bad pizza by yourself.
[Good Bird then departs, leaving Speedy alone in the kitchen.]
Speedy: [Imitating Good Bird] I'm sure you can take care of this big,
bad pizza by yourself. [Normally] Sheesh! Give a guy a little
credit. [A vapor drifts across Speedy's nose.] *Sniff.*
*Sniff.* I guess the pizza is ready.
[Speedy retrieves the pizza from the oven and places it on a plate. He
walks into the dining room and drops the plate onto a table. Taking a
pizza cutter, Speedy quickly cuts the pizza in two. But the reaction
that the pizza has to this is not normal. The two halves of the pizza
slide back together and the cheese topping suddenly stretches away,
wrapping itself around Speedy's arms.]
Narrator: Somehow, I don't think pizza is supposed to do that.
Speedy: [Struggling to free himself from the cheese.] You're telling
me?!
Narrator: No wonder the insurance premiums for pizza delivery are so
high!
[Speedy manages to unsheathe his sword and cuts himself free of the
pizza's cheese topping. The cheese on the pizza expands some more and
tries to get hold of Speedy again, but Speedy manages to deflect it
with his sword. The pizza decides to try another approach and begins to
throw various condiments at Speedy. The pepperoni and mushroom
projectiles push Speedy back momentarily, but he finally manages to
stand his ground.]
Speedy: [Angry] No pizza is going to get the best of me! YAAA!!! [He
begins to slash at the pizza repeatedly.]
Narrator: As Speedy heroically battles with the malicious pizza...
hmm... I wonder if there's a clause in my contract concerning
hallucinations experienced during working hours.
Speedy: [While still attacking the pizza.] When you find out, let me
know!
[Polly chooses that moment to walk into the room. She stares wide-eyed
at Speedy frantically using his sword.]
Polly: [Quietly] What are you doing, Speedy?
Speedy: What does it look like I'm doing? [Turns to face her] I'm
defending myself from this rogue pizza! [Points at the pizza,
behind him.]
Polly: Actually, it looked like you were attacking a harmless table.
[Sarcastically] How could I have been so mistaken?
Speedy: Huh?
[Speedy turns to look at the dreaded pizza and notices that not only has
the pizza been reduced to dust, but the table and a couple of the chairs
have been sliced into small strips as well.]
Speedy: [Nervously] I guess I got a little carried away. *Hehehe.*
Polly: Listen, Speedy. If you didn't want to go out with me, all you
had to do was say so. You don't have to put on this crazy act.
[She turns away and starts to leave.]
Speedy: [Frantic] _No_! It's not like that! [Runs up to Polly.] The
pizza came to life and started attacking me. [Drops to his
knees.] You gotta believe me! *Waaahaha!*
Polly: [Patting Speedy on the back.] There, there, Speedy. I guess
you've been under more stress than I realized. Obviously, you
_really_ need to go on a date.
Speedy: [Stops crying] You really think that will help?
Polly: Sure! Now, let's get you ready.
[Polly helps Speedy to his feet, then leads him up the stairs to the
second floor. (3)]
*****
[Scene: outside a movie theater. Speedy Cerviche, Polly Esther, Guido
Anchovis, Lucille, Good Bird, and Carla are looking at the movie
posters. Speedy, Guido, and Good Bird are in suits rather than their
normal armor and Polly, Lucille, and Carla are wearing flower-print
kimonos. Speedy, Guido, Good Bird, and Polly are still wearing
helmets, of course.]
Narrator: It's difficult to combine the latest crime-fighting equipment
with fashionable clothing for a night on the town, but the
Samurai Pizza Cats do it admirably!
Polly: OK, now that we're here, what movie are we going to watch?
Good Bird: [Looking at a poster.] How about the 'Star Wars' remake?
Carla: I don't care for that movie. All the aliens look so weird.
Hardly any fur or feathers on any of them.
Lucille: [Pointing to a poster.] What about this one?
Polly: [Looking at the poster that Lucille pointed out.] 'Driving Miss
Daisy?' I've never liked movies with talking plants.
Speedy: [Looking at another poster.] Hey! Look at this: 'The Seven
Samurai.' Now that sounds like a good movie!
Guido: [Lightly smacking Speedy in the head.] That's not the kind of
movie you take a girl to see on a date! [Thoughtfully] Though
Polly would probably enjoy it.
Polly: [Angrily looming over Guido, with an enlarged head.] What's that
supposed to mean?!
Good Bird: [Interrupting] Well, all that's left is 'Tenchi Muyo in
Love!'
Polly: [Calming down, but still glaring at Guido.] Well, I usually
don't go for Anime, but I've heard that one's pretty good.
Guido: [Slightly nervous] Then I guess it's settled.
[Speedy and Good Bird walk towards the ticket window.]
Good Bird: [Whispering to Speedy] Were you going to help Guido back
there? You know what kind of temper Polly has.
Speedy: [Whispering back] I've learned not to say things like that since
I started dating Polly. If Guido still wants to get on her bad
side, that's fine with me, but I'm not going to risk my neck!
Good Bird: [To the ticket seller.] Six for Tenchi Muyo, please.
[The others join Speedy and Good Bird at the doors to the theater. They
break into couples at that point and enter the cinema.]
*****
[Scene: the outskirts of Little Tokyo. The Palace can be seen in the
distance and a highway runs toward the center of the city. A large sign
at the side of the road proclaims 'Welcome to Little Tokyo, home of the
Great Scat Emperor Fred.' Moe stands on a light pole, watching the few
nighttime drivers go by.]
Narrator: Just a note to the kids out there, all the drivers in Little
Tokyo obey the speed limit and always wear their seatbelts.
Remember, 'Buckle Up, It's the Law!' (4)
[Moe pulls a hand-held radio off his belt and presses the 'talk' button.]
Moe: [Into radio] Knife One, calling Jar... come in Jar.
[Scene: a split frame with Moe in bottom left corner and Seymour Big
Cheese in the upper right corner.]
Seymour: This is Jar, reading you loud and clear, Knife One.
Moe: I'm in position and ready to spread!
Seymour: Good. Wait for my signal. It shouldn't be much longer.
Moe: Knife One, over and out.
[Scene: Seymour's part of the frame expands, showing the nearly bare
room from which he was plotting earlier. Jerry Atrick is still sitting
on the floor, while Seymour stares impatiently at the radio in his
hand.]
Seymour: What's taking him so long? Ford is the only one who hasn't
reported in yet. How hard can it be to find Little Tokyo Bay?
Jerry: Be patient, Boss. He's probably trying to find a good location
to use the marshmallow capsules.
[Static comes over the radio for a moment, then a voice speaks out.]
Radio Voice: Knife Four, ready to go.
Seymour: [Into radio] Good work, Ford! Now it's time! No longer will
my Evil Plot (tm) be delayed! [Presses a button on the
hand-held that automatically turns on the others' radios.]
Initiate Operation Sticky Wicket!
*****
[Scene: the Little Tokyo Bay. A series of piers stretch out into the
bay. Speedy Cerviche and Polly Esther walk hand-in-hand along the
docks. The stars glitter brightly overhead and the full moon gives
everything a soft glow.]
Narrator: Apparently, the writer isn't in the mood for romance, so
we'll just cut to the chase. The Big Cheese's Evil Plot (tm)
is about to be set in motion and our heroes don't have a single
clue as to its existence.
Polly: This is nice Speedy, I'm glad we could spend some time by
ourselves.
[Speedy sees a shadow, sneaking out toward the end of a long pier.]
Speedy: [Nudging Polly and indicating the shadow.] You don't suppose
that could be someone involved in an Evil Plot (tm), do you?
Polly: [Annoyed] Is that all you ever think about? [Crossing her arms.]
Fighting bad guys and saving the city?
Speedy: [Placing his hand behind his head.] Well, no. It's just that-
[A loud rumble is heard and the ground begins shaking violently, making
Polly and Speedy fall on their rear ends.]
Polly: [Voice shaking along with the rest of her.] W-What's g-going
o-on?
[A blur whizzes by the duo, but Speedy was the only one to notice.
Speedy turns his head away from the docks to try and follow the blur,
but his attention is diverted by a scream from Polly.]
Polly: [Staring wide-eyed at the bay.] W-what's _that_?!
[Speedy looks toward the bay and sees a giant, white puffball expanding
from the water. The earthquake resides and the puffball looses its
spherical shape, spreading outward to fill the bay and cover a portion
of the docks as well.]
Polly: What is that stuff?
Speedy: I don't know, but I think we should check it out.
[Speedy and Polly walk down one of the piers, approaching the white
blob.]
Speedy: [Smelling the air.] Do you smell sardines?
Polly: What do you expect a pier to smell like? Roses?
Narrator: Actually, he was expecting it to smell like a pier, but that's
beside the point.
[Polly walks closer and sticks a finger into the fluff. She pulls out
the now fluff-covered finger and puts it in her mouth.]
Polly: *Hmm...* Tastes like marshmallows and... sardines?!
Narrator: Didn't your mother every tell you not go around tasting
strange piles of white goo?
[Speedy notices that the surface of the white fluff is undulating
oddly.]
Speedy: Look out!
[Speedy jumps to Polly's position, grabs her by the arm, and jumps away.
A moment later, a white fist-shaped tentacle slams into the dock where
Polly was standing.]
Speedy: That stuff is acting just like my pizza did earlier! [A
look of realization crosses his face.] Uh oh!
Polly: That vile that Guido found smelled like sardines!
Speedy: That marshmallow glop must have the same stuff in it!
Polly: Fluff.
Speedy: [Confused] What?!
Polly: Marshmallow fluff, not marshmallow glop.
Speedy: Whatever.
[Polly and Speedy jump to the top of a building near the docks. The
marshmallow fluff has formed several fists and is destroying many of the
piers. It appears to be slowly approaching the land.]
Speedy: This calls for action!
Polly: But what can we do? Headquarters is on the other side of the
city and we don't even know where the others are.
Speedy: Well, like you said, I always think about beating up bad guys
and saving the city. So, I'm wearing this!
[Speedy reaches inside his shirt and pulls out a cat-bell, attached to a
chain around his neck. He squeezes the sides of the bell and it pops
open, showing itself to actually be two hemispheres joined by a hinge.
On the bottom of one hemisphere is a small vid-screen and the other has
a number of buttons. Speedy presses one of the buttons.]
Polly: [Hugging Speedy, who blushes.] My hero!
*****
[Scene: the Pizza Cats' kitchen. The computer suddenly comes to life
and a map of Little Tokyo appears, with crosshairs near the bay.]
Narrator: Luckily, the Pizza Cats have prepared for emergencies such as
this. And since their system doesn't use Windows 95, Speedy's
call is processed rapidly and help is on the way!
*****
[Scene: outside the Pizza Cats' Headquarters. No light comes from the
pizza parlor. Mother and Son are standing underneath a nearby street
light. The launch gun suddenly raises and the speaker attached to the
building comes to life.]
Speaker: *Click.* [Francine's Voice]
Sorry to disturb, but we have an emergency request.
To avoid bodily injury, just follow this behest:
Stand behind the white line and cover your head.
Better yet, go home and just stay in your bed!
This has been a recording. Thank you. *Click.*
[A plume of white smoke followed by a plume of red smoke emit from the
launch tube.]
Mother: I sure hope that thing's not acting on its own. It could
destroy half the city!
Son: I'm pretty sure they're using a remote control of some kind.
Mother: Or it could be haunted! We could be facing an evil spirit come
to get revenge on the Pizza Cats! Ahhh!!! [Runs away,
screaming.]
Son: Sorry about that, she didn't taken her Retilin today.
*****
[Scene: the docks. Speedy Cerviche and Polly Esther watch with
increasing concern as the mammoth fluff steadily makes its way inland.
Already, it has begun smashing the buildings closest to the water.]
Polly: [Impatiently] What's taking so long?
Narrator: Don't worry, as I said earlier, help is on the way! [Pauses.]
In fact, here it is now.
[Two large bullet-shaped pods, one white and the other red, crash into
the roof of the building Polly and Speedy are standing on, nearly
flattening them in the process.]
Polly: I thought that computer was supposed to help us, not kill us!
Speedy: Well, it didn't, so let's not worry about it. We've got deeper
things to think about right now, like stopping this marshmallow
stuff.
[Speedy goes to the white pod and presses a button on its surface. A
panel on the pod opens, then closes after Speedy has climbed inside.
Polly does the same thing with the red pod. A few seconds later, the
pods open again, allowing Speedy and Polly to jump out, now in full
armor.]
Speedy: Let's do it!
[Speedy and Polly draw their swords and begin attacking the giant
marshmallow blob. Every time they slash into the marshmallow, the cuts
simply disappear as the fluff heals itself. The Pizza Cats begin to
tire and a pair of marshmallow fists punch them, sprawling the Pizza
Cats on the ground.]
Speedy: [Tiredly] This doesn't seem to be working.
[On top of a building close to the action, Moe is carrying a video
camera and has it trained on the Pizza Cats.]
*****
[Scene: the Big Cheese's low-budget hideout. A small black and white
television shows the picture from Moe's video camera. Seymour Big
Cheese is watching the TV intently. Jerry Atrick maintains his vigil on
the floor of the room.]
Narrator: The Big Cheese is waiting patiently for the moment that he
can begin his celebration of the final victory over the
Samurai Pizza Cats.
Jerry: [To Seymour] Your eyes will fall out if you stand too close.
Seymour: [Ignoring Jerry when he sees Speedy and Polly hit by the
marshmallow fists.] I'm so happy, I could dance! [Begins to
frantically move his arms and legs, while sliding back and
forth across the floor.] The barricade may be a loss, but I'll
finally be rid of those meddling Pizza Cats! And their little
dog too! *Wheee!!!* Maybe I'll invent a new dance once the
Pizza Cats are destroyed. I'll call it the Rat-a-rena! I
certainly have the talent.
Narrator: I've seen more talent in a petri dish.
Seymour: [Stops 'dancing' and speaks angrily, to the Narrator.] That's
it! You've been purposely getting on my nerves for the whole
episode! _Die_!!!
[Seymour pulls a bazooka from nowhere and begins firing shots at random
locations in the room. The multiple explosions completely fill the room
with smoke. The smoke slowly clears, revealing a battered Jerry Atrick
and a completely untouched Seymour Big Cheese.]
Jerry: <I knew those girls who came by to sell cookies for their high
school would be a bad influence. No wonder Tomobiki High needs
money if they have things like this happening.>
Seymour: *Hah!* I showed _him_ who's boss around here!
*****
[Scene: the battle between the Pizza Cats and the marshmallow fluff.
Speedy Cerviche and Polly Esther are taking a breather as the fluff
continues its journey toward the center of Little Tokyo.]
Narrator: And so he did! The _writer_ pulled me into another scene so
that I wouldn't get injured. The odds aren't looking good for
our feline heroes and unbeknownst to them, three other
unstoppable blobs of marshmallow fluff are headed toward the
center of town, also.
Speedy: That doesn't sound good! I've got to stop this thing right now!
[Speedy concentrates and a pink flame ignites around his sword and
scabbard. The bottom of the scabbard changes into a sword handle and
Speedy draws his second sword. He crosses his twin swords and they
begin to spark with red electricity. Lowering the swords, then swinging
them upwards, a glowing yellow circle is formed around him. The circle
seems to collapse inward, looking like a cat's eye momentarily, before
Speedy brings his swords back down, throwing the energy at the
marshmallow fluff.]
Speedy: CAT'S EYE SLASH!!!
[The yellow energy cuts the marshmallow completely in two, but a second
later the two halves rejoin. A _large_ marshmallow fist flies out of
the blob and smashes Speedy up and away from the fight.]
Polly: Speedy!
[Before Polly can go after him, another large fist takes hold of her.]
Narrator: The marshmallow fluff continues on its merry way, fulfilling
the Big Cheese's greatest hopes for his Evil Plot (tm). Who
will be able to stop this monstrousity?
*****
[Scene: in a forest, outside Little Tokyo. A small, moonlit clearing
with a small boulder in the center, halfway embedded into the ground.]
[Speedy Cerviche flies from the sky and lands head-first on the
boulder.]
Speedy: Owie! [Sits upright and rubs the top of his head, which now has
a large bump.] What am I going to do now? [Snaps his fingers.]
I've got it! We haven't tested it yet, but it should work.
[Speedy opens his cat-bell again and presses a different button than
before.]
*****
[Scene: outside the Pizza Cats' Headquarters. The launch tube raises
again, the digital clock folds down to create a ramp, and the speaker
turns on. Mother and Son are nearby, Mother laying on the ground and
Son waving a fan in her face.]
Speaker: *Click.* Uoy knaht. Gnidrocer a neeb sah siht.
Deb ruoy ni yats tsuj dna emoh og, tey retteb.
Deah ruoy revoc dna enil etihw eht dniheb dnats.
Tseheb siht wollof tsuj, yrujni ylidob diova ot.
Tseuqer ycnegreme na evah ew tub, brutsid ot yrros.
*Click.*
[A white burst of smoke occurs and the gun begins to lower.]
Son: I think it's broken.
Mother: I was right! It has been possessed! Never fear, 42nd
generation Devil Hunter, Mother Dog, is here! [Lightning
crashes in the background.]
Son: [Staring wide-eyed] Mom? You're a devil hunter?
Mother: [Begins pelting the Pizza Cats' Headquarters with beans.] Oni
out, Luck in! Oni out, Luck in!
[Son face-faults.]
*****
[Scene: in the air, over a forest, outside Little Tokyo. Speedy's Power
Pack is flying rapidly toward the clearing. Queue transformation
music.]
Narrator: That's right! The Supreme Catatonic might have been
destroyed, but Guru Lou managed to recover the Pizza Cats'
Gooney Birds and built a launch system for the pizza parlor.
[The clearing comes into view and the Power Pack shines a tractor beam
on Speedy, lifting him into the air. The Power Pack disassembles and
attaches itself to Speedy's armor.]
Narrator: Speedy launches himself back toward Little Tokyo, hoping that
with the addition of his Power Pack, he will be able to take
care of the marshmallow fluff juggernaut.
*****
[Scene: the center of Little Tokyo. The three smaller blobs of
marshmallow have joined with the large one from the bay. Four trails of
destruction through the city can be seen, obviously the paths taken by
the marshmallows.]
[Just as Speedy Cerviche arrives, the four marshmallows combine and take
a humanoid form. Polly Esther is being held in one of the monster's
massive hands.]
Polly: [Spotting Speedy] Speedy! Help!
Speedy: Hang on, Polly!
[Speedy power-dives the monster, cutting off it's hand at the wrist.
After catching Polly, Speedy is forced to dodge the monster's reformed
hand while not losing his grip on her. He flies above a building and
gently drops Polly to the rooftop.]
Speedy: [To Polly] Wait here while I finish off this fluff-boy.
[Speedy flies back to the marshmallow creature and hovers in front of
it.]
Speedy: Marshmallows should be used for the good, wholesome enjoyment of
roasting on a campfire, not world domination!
[Speedy begins his attack technique again, this time a flaming circle
forms around him and when the technique is finished, he sends the flames
towards the marshmallow fluff.]
Speedy: FLAMING TIGER SLASH!!!
[The front of the blast briefly forms into the shape an attacking tiger,
before resuming a normal blast-shape. The flames wash over the
marshmallow, incinerating it to ashes.]
Speedy: Now you're playing with power! [A background of the Rising Sun
forms behind him.]
[Unseen by Speedy, Moe lowers his video camera and sneaks away.]
*****
[Scene: the Big Cheese's hideout. There are a number of holes in the
walls and floor. Jerry Atrick still looks like he went through an
explosion (which he did) and Seymour Big Cheese is totally red in the
face.]
Seymour: [Calmly] Why didn't you change your clothes from earlier.
Jerry: Because I thought you might get mad and I'd get blown up again.
Do you have any idea how much dry cleaning costs in Little Tokyo?
Seymour: [Calmly] Actually, no. But you're right. I'm mad. Care to
guess what that means?
Jerry: [Tiredly] Explosion time?
Seymour: [Angrily] You got it, bub! How dare they foil my Evil Plot
(tm)?!
[Seymour releases his anger in a large fire ball, charring himself and
causing further damage to Jerry.]
Seymour: And I was so looking forward to those melons! Why did it have
to be marshmallow fluff? _Why_?!
Narrator: Well, you may not have expected an answer, but here it is: the
author is attempting to win the award for most gratuitous use
of the phrase 'marshmallow fluff' in a written work.
Seymour: [Weakly] I'll get him for that. [Passes out.]
*****
[Scene: the Pizza Cats' dining room. The lights are all out and a pair
of candles have been lit and placed on top of a table. Guido Anchovis,
Good Bird, Carla, and Francine are sitting at the table, chatting about
their dates. Speedy Cerviche and Polly Esther enter the room, still in
full armor, looking very tired and bruised.]
Francine: What happened to you?
Good Bird: Why are you wearing your armor?
Guido: [Snidely] Did you two start fighting again?
Speedy: [Defensively] What do you mean by that? Didn't any of you see
what was going on out there?
[They all shake their heads no.]
Polly: Haven't you watched the news?!
Francine: The power's been out since I got back. [Pointing at Speedy.]
Probably happened when Speedy called for his Gooney Bird, that
system isn't fully debugged yet.
Speedy: But we were attacked by a giant marshmallow!
Good Bird: A giant marshmallow! *Hahaha!* That's a good one. Next,
you'll be telling me you were attacked by a pizza!
[Speedy and Polly glance at each other.]
Speedy & Polly: Never mind.
[Zoom out from the Pizza Cats' Pizza Parlor as Speedy and Polly continue
to be interrogated.]
Guido: So tell us what _really_ happened.
Carla: Did you two have an exciting time?
Good Bird: A giant _marshmallow_!! *Hahaha!!*
Francine: The two of you better not try to use this as an excuse for not
working tomorrow.
*****
Speedy: Next time on Samurai Pizza Cats, the Catatonic Saga!
Narrator: While Speedy and the others search for more information about
the Dragon Dynasty, the Big Cheese has a _mysterious_ visitor.
I've always said that rats belong in the sewers, but the Big
Cheese takes it to heart. What will happen when the Big
Cheese poisons the Pizza Cats' water supply? Will the Pizza
Cats' insane lives become even more ridiculous? Will Polly
and Francine get into a _real_ cat fight? And who's been
drinking from the toilet?! Watch for 'Curse of the Dragon's
Scale', the next episode of the _Catatonic Saga_.
*****
End notes:
(1) I don't know about the original Anime, but in the English dub, the
Big Cheese is referred to as a rat and he calls himself a rat in
several instances. He happens to look quite a bit like what a fox
might look like in SPC, especially with that weird tail armor. Just
thought I'd make clear my view on the issue.
(2) In case you want to know, their real names are: More (Moe) Cheese,
Larger (Larry) Cheese, Curdled (Curly) Cheese, and No (Nix or Ix)
Cheese. :)
(3) It's obvious that the Pizza Cats live at their Headquarters, but I'm
not aware of it ever being shown exactly where. So, I've decided
that there is probably a flight of stairs from somewhere in the
dining room leading up to the second floor of the building, where
their individual rooms are located.
(4) This is a slogan that was extensively used in Little Rock after the
seatbelt law was passed. Don't look at me like that! I wasn't the
one who came up with it!
P.S. Can you find all the Hitchhiker's references in this episode?
I count five, but a couple of them are oblique. If you find more
than that, let me know... my subconscious could have slipped in a
few extra. }:>