Dimension 6
Part 6
The Mich (Ramos)
CROW: No, hon, you don't get a nickname.
So, what happened?
ALL: YOU TELL US!
Did they blow up?
TOM: Please oh please oh please...
MIKE: What about the senshi?
CROW: Scouts.
Did our heroines descend to the depths of doom?
No.
Okay, so WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED HERE?
TOM: That's it, the author doesn't have a clue. I fold.
Nothing.
Huh?
MIKE: My thoughts exactly.
CROW: Words fail me.
Nothing. Zilch. Zero. Nadda...
MIKE: We get the picture.
We get the picture.
TOM: Oh damn.
"Huh?"
"What happened?"
MIKE: What's Happening Now?
<all begin to hum the theme song to the aforementioned show>
Raye said, "The author's crazy mind just asked that questioned."
CROW: Ouch, being busted on by the characters, that's cold.
"Apparently, nothing," Lady Janella observed.
TOM: No shit, sherlock.
"Hold up. First we all panic like we think we're goin' to Hell. Then the
ground shakes like we're gonna blow. Then all of a sudden peace and quiet? I
don't get it!" Valerie said confused.
TOM: It's a Wagnerian twist. Look it up.
"BOOM!"
CROW: MOOB!
The girls jumped up in surprise. Then, an annoyingly familiar laugh
MIKE: Zoicite?
could be heard. Not just an evil laugh. A laugh of amusement and pure
enjoyment.
CROW: Well, it ain't comin' from the readers.
"HA! HA! HA! HA! HAA! You should have seen the look on your
faces!" a male voice laughed.
TOM: Well, if this is the dub, that rules out Zoicite.
"It's coming from Com-Link," Amanda reported.
MIKE: Evil(tm) Laughs, Inc., Com-Link, Illinois.
"I want a visual. Now!" Valerie screamed.
CROW: Geez, she's worse in a crisis than Sailor Orion!
TOM: Don't you mean Sailororion?
CROW: No.
Janella walked over to the Communications Console
MIKE: All rights reserved.
and pressed a couple
buttons. Every Com-Link screen lit up and a man, an ugly one at that,
TOM: Ted Turner?
appeared. A projection appeared too. It showed the laughing one on a throne.
CROW: The porcelain throne.
TOM: <Brooklynite> Hey! I'm trying to do my business here, ya mind?
His skin seemed metallic and dark.
TOM: Bigot!
MIKE: Easy Tom, don't play the race card yet.
He was tall and extremely muscular, with
two angled horns just as grey as his skin protruding out of his head. His
eyes were a fiery red, no whites. His laughing form was just as frightening
as if he were staring at you right in the eyes.
CROW: So, he's Evil(tm), ne?
"Droid! You did this!?" Vanessa shouted.
TOM: She's not doing her vocal chords a bit of good.
"You aren't supposed to be alive. Valerie killed you,"
MIKE: Or Valerie's Family.
Amanda said almost
flatly.
MIKE: Almost?
"I'm flattered you said hello."
CROW: There are medicines you can take for that.
"What do you want, Droid!? Valerie wanted to know.
TOM: Hey, she didn't shout!
"Oh, you of all people should know. I want power!"
TOM: Oh please.
"Oh please," Amanda mumbled.
TOM: Stop doing that!
"And revenge!"
ALL: <singing> It's Moon Revenge, oooo!
"Yeah right," Vanessa whispered to Amanda.
"What!? You doubt me?! I'll teach you! Just wait!" he screamed. And with
that he disappeared, breaking com-link.
MIKE: <applauds> Way to negotiate, girls!
"What. Do. We. Do. Now?" Vanessa slowly asked.
TOM: Dear heavens, it's Shatner.
"He. Is. Alive!" Amanda screamed just as slowly.
CROW: The screaming is catching.
"Bad. Very. Very. Bad." Valerie announced.
CROW: For Serenity's sake, speak at a normal rate!
"Your Highnesses," said another voice on the com, "please report to MedBay;
MedQuarters." It was Doc Holloway.
<all laugh>
MIKE: Doc Holloway?
TOM: Or Doc Hollywood!
CROW: Shouldn't that be MedDoc?
"Acknowledged."
TOM: MedAcknowledged.
"Well," Princess Amanda said angrily, "I'd better break the news to Tom and
TOM: No need to put yourself out, honey. I'm right here.
see how my kingdom's doing. Goodbye." She walked over to the only exit and
MIKE: Clearly marked 'exit.'
disappeared through the doors.
CROW: Cripes, doesn't anyone wait for them to open anymore?
"So, who's Tom?" Mina inquired.
ALL: Aaah!
CROW: Don't scare us like that!
MIKE: Woah, it's her first line since part 2!
"Oh, that's just her husband. He takes care of the kingdom while she's
away," Vanessa explained.
TOM: Wait! I wasn't notified of that!
MIKE: The letters from Dome City II addressed to you from 'Mandy' didn't clue you in?
TOM: I thought it was some sort of scam!
"Wow. She's married. Cool," Mina said.
Raye spoke up, "So Amanda's from..."
"Dome City I. It's on another asteroid orbiting our sun," V said.
CROW: V?
MIKE: So who was sending you the letters?
"Valerie to Commander Torek," she spoke over her com.
TOM: So help me, if he's Vulcan...
"Yes, Your Highness?" a man replied.
"Commander, I want a full investigation on these Core events.
CROW: But don't look too closely at our own party.
Where is the
watch crew and why the Core wouldn't respond to our commands. Keep me posted."
TOM: <falsetto> And get me some question marks! I've run out of them!
"Iye."
MIKE: <mumbles a prayer>
"Can we get out of here? This place gives me the creeps," Serena uttered.
CROW: Suddenly the author remembers that little show called Sailor Moon...
"Sure. But first, Janella, I want you do give me a full report on the
medical side of this battle.
TOM: Oh yeah, I always forget about that. Knowing is half the battle, but medical training is the other half.
Scott, help figure out the Core. Rianna, damage
MIKE: That's hardly productive.
report." All nodded. All but Scott went to the turbo-lift.
CROW: For a big honkin Roman...oh never mind. It's not as fun anymore.
"Geeze, it's cramped," Mina complained.
MIKE: Mina, always with the quick mind.
"Be thankful this turbo-lift can hold all of us.
TOM: <Mina> Uh, what does this sign mean here? It says 'Max capacity 1000lbs.'
Or we would be stuck down
in the Core for a long time," Janella said. The Sailors got a frightened
look on their faces. The D6 girls were amused.
TOM: Ah, those whacky D6 girls! Always taking pleasure in the discomfort of others! <chuckles>
After the ride, Janella and Rianna went their separate ways as the rest
went straight ahead, to MedBay. When they entered everyone suddenly got a
CROW: Enema.
MIKE: Ewww!
TOM: You mean MedEnema.
gloomy feeling. They were in the main room.
CROW: With a nice chandelier and some gorgeous upholstery...
People were lying recklessly
about. Some were dead. Others were crying like Hell. Some were just sitting
there looking dazed and confused.
MIKE: Okay, one at a time. Tom, you start.
TOM: I have to say that's the most fscked up ER I've ever seen.
CROW: Bring out your dead!
MIKE: Dazed and Confused: the Michelle Ramos story
TOM: Crying like a Bat out of Hell?
CROW: I hate it when people lie around recklessly. Such disregard for safety.
The shortage of nurses were trying to attend to as many people as possible
but were having no luck.
TOM: Pressing extra personnel in other departments into emergency duty occured to no-one, of course.
Only one doctor was present. She, too, was covered
in blood.
CROW: <singing> Worthy is the Lamb that was slain, and hath redeemed us by His blood...
TOM: Way too many Messiah refs this episode.
She didn't look too happy herself. The tag she wore said 'Dr.
Parish, MD'.
MIKE: Hardly an encouraging name.
"Oh my," Vanessa said as she scanned the injury filled room.
TOM: Her concern is overwhelming.
The doctor finally noticed them and unsteadily walked over.
CROW: Well, we have visitors. Drop all the dead and dying patients; I've got to go talk to them.
As she moved
closer, you could see she had been crying.
MIKE: Great doctor, really.
"Your Majesty," was all she could
bear to say. Dr. Parish was on the verge of tears again. She fought them.
TOM: Oh, and the tears land a hard left to the jaw! It's all over, folks!
"Is there anything I can do... for you? Are you hurt?" she addressed V.
CROW: Sailor V?
TOM: V: The Series?
"No, no. I'm fine. The question is, how are you?"
MIKE: Could be better.
A tear ran down the doctor's cheek. She tried helplessly to fight the
tears. They all splashed silently out.
CROW: Your moment may vary.
"My... son. He..."
"What, doctor? What?"
TOM: He's gay.
MIKE: Fiore: the Untold Story.
"He... he was in school. They attacked and he... he..."
TOM: CROSSED WITHOUT LOOKING BOTH WAYS! WAAAAAAAH!
Her tears
interrupted her words. "And he got, got caught in, in the crossfire." Her
CROW: Dying in a CNN show. That's way harsh.
MIKE: Thanks, Mina.
mournful tears didn't stop, she felt so helpless.
TOM: Well, if you stopped yakking and HELPED SOME PATIENTS, maybe it would help?!?
"Oh, Lea." Vanessa embraced her, trying to comfort.
MIKE: Lea?
CROW: Is there something between those two we don't know about?
TOM: Probably. Let's keep it that way.
"I don't have anybody now. First my husband, now this. Will it ever end?"
CROW: That's what we're trying to find out, lady.
"I don't know Lea, I seriously don't know."
TOM: Ah, the only time in history that the clicheed "I really don't know" would have worked better.
The girls were on the verge of
tears as well.
MIKE: Some sailor suited warriors *they* are.
And they thought their jobs were crappy and sad. Here, people
died each day because of enemies.
CROW: And this concerns us because...?
TOM: You know, I thought it was hard to screw up a darkfic, but Ramos is making a real run at it.
"Well, I know one thing," Val spoke up.
MIKE: <falsetto> I know the finder of lost loves!
"That is that I'm gonna make Droid
TOM: Droid-ee-lay-dee-lay-hee-hooo!
and all the other bastards out there pay. I'll avenge your son, Lea. That's
a promise."
CROW: This offer not binding in Utah or Nevada.
"Lea, what was your son's name?"
TOM: Umino.
"E... Eric. I think I should get back to work now."
CROW: Oh no, just shoot the breeze a bit more while people die.
"No you rest. You've had enough for just one day. Go home. I'll take care
of it."
MIKE: Um, we want to save them, not start a concentration camp.
Raye said, "WE'LL take care of it."
MIKE: Can I do my Evil(tm) laugh again?
TOM: No.
"Are you, are you sure? You'd do that?"
CROW: Uh guys, don't they need training or experience or a clue or something?
"Of course. Go. Rest. I don't think being a doctor right now is a lot of
fun," Serena said.
TOM: It's only a job and an obligation.
MIKE: Don't say obligation. This fanfic's bad enough without me pining to read something *good*.
"You're right. I'll go." And with that she left.
CROW: Gotta love that dedication to duty, yes sirree!
Immediately, Vanessa
started to work. Raye, Mina, and Amy went to help her.
TOM: In vague unspecified manners?
"Guys, I'll catch up with you later. I wanna find out what's happening with
MIKE: Rerun. I haven't seen him in days.
our three missing comrades," Valerie stated. Amy gasped at this. She almost
TOM: Broke out singing the 'Internationale.'
burst out again in tears. All looked towards her.
CROW: Including herself.
"Um, guys. I think I know about Lita.
TOM: <Lovitz> Um, she had some...business to attend to. Yeah, that's it! In...Siberia! That's the ticket...
Would you mind if I told you later?"
Amy queried.
"That's okay. One down, two to go." Amy did not like this comment at all.
MIKE: She took out her aggression with a Shine Aqua Illusion, and the blood flowed...
"Could I go with you? I've got a million questions,
CROW: Boxers or briefs?
TOM: Subs or dubs?
CROW: Defense or offense?
TOM: Script or prose?
CROW: Dark or light?
TOM: Lurk or post?
CROW: Netscape or Explorer?
TOM: PC or Mac?
CROW: Inners or Outers?
TOM: Um, how many questions do we have so far?
MIKE: Nine.
CROW: Damn. Oh well, forget it.
and I want to see if
Darien's alright," Serena implored.
MIKE: I implore you, I *do* want to see if Darien's alright!
Raye and the girls looked up. "Darien's hurt? When? How?"
MIKE: And why didn't you sell tickets?
"Later. Okay? Later."
The two walked off.
TOM: <Bogart> This is the start of a beautiful friendship.
* * * * *
The doors to a hospital room opened. A young lady stepped in and was a
little relieved to see that her man was alive.
CROW: Not for long.
A little? A lot relieved.
Serena walked over to Darien's bed and knelt down beside him. She held his
hand for a moment then proceeded to kiss his forehead. He woke up to her
nice warm kiss and smiled.
MIKE: Wait a minute, they're getting lovey-dovey in a hospital? I smell the work of Hui!
TOM: Well, if Rei comes in pregnant with a demon child, we'll know.
CROW: God, don't remind me...
"Hey, meatball head," Darien greeted warily.
CROW: Is it too late for me to say that the writing sucks?
"Darien! Oh, I was so worried. I love you."
MIKE: <Serena> Really. I am so worried. I love you so much.
TOM: Geez, it's a fanfic and the dubbing *still* sucks.
Serena kissed him lightly.
"I love you too. Now tell me what fun I missed."
CROW: Well, Jupiter's dead, we're all stuck in a ST crossover, I'm carrying your baby...
* * * * *
Later on, after Vanessa had her share of helping out, she slowly walked
into another room. She saw Wesley on a bed, with his sister at his side.
MIKE: Wearing a sleek...never mind.
"Well hey you two. You're not gettin' soft on me are you?"
TOM: You know what they say, incest is best...
"Hell no!" Valerie jumped back immediately.
CROW: <falsetto> He can go all night! Come on, honey, show her what we're made of!
Vanessa laughed lightly. She walked to her boyfriend's side. "How are you
going to explain this to your mom?"
TOM: Um, that they were just playing doctor?
"Hmm. Let's see. I could tell her I was doing something on the Holodeck,"
Wesley replied.
MIKE: Wesley, we've told you that Virtual Valerie 9 isn't a productive use of holodeck time.
CROW: Couldn't you have picked a better choice of words?
"Like always." V kissed him. Valerie rolled her eyes.
CROW: On the floor, where she scrabbled to pick them up.
"No, really?" Val asked. "What ARE you going to say to Dr. Crusher?"
TOM: You're not my real mother!
* * * * *
"Attention. All senior staff report to the meeting lounge."
MIKE: For a meeting.
CROW: THRILL to exciting meeting ACTION!
"That's us guys," Rianna said to the Scouts an hour later.
TOM: Not too big on punctuality, are they?
She had shown
them some of the wonders of her world.
CROW: Like the Big Ass Draft! 98 cents on Mondays!
Everybody met in a large room at a big table with chairs. There was a vast
MIKE: Michelle honey, sure it's not huge? Or humongous?
window at one end of the rectangular room, and a display console at the
TOM: End of the circular room.
other. Doors were at either side of the table in the middle.
CROW: Locked, though.
Vanessa sat at
the end of the table near the window.
MIKE: What's outside the window? Oh, it doesn't matter.
The Scouts sat nearest to her while
Princess Valerie, Lady Janella, Commander Rianna Jensen, and Commander Torek
TOM: The Toreksons! Next on NBC!
sat on the sides next to them. Four seats were empty, one for Scott, Wesley,
Darien, and, and...
MIKE: Elijah.
"Oh no! I forgot about Eddie! He's still in the stasis bubble!"
MIKE: D'oh!
<all make muted trumpet noises>
"Well go get him!" ordered V.
TOM: Bishoujo Senshi Ordered V.
* * *
Somewhere in Secondary Ops a green bubble floated.
CROW: Serving beans in the commisary again, eh?
The guy inside it had
been awake for some time and quite steamed.
TOM: Temperatures of over 100 Celsius will do that to ya.
He pounded again on his shell,
MIKE: Ghost in the Shell: the DIC version.
despite the fact it was useless. Valerie then beamed in, feeling stupid for
CROW: Everything that had happened thus far.
forgetting about her friend. She looked down on him and saw the angry look
on his face. 'Uh oh. I'm in for it now.'
MIKE: Break out the hot wax!
"Stasis Bubble Collapse," she said as she held out her hands. The energy
TOM: was in an onery mood, and refused to collapse. Cajoling didn't work...
flowed back into them and Eddie was released. He fell to the ground. That
didn't make him any happier. "Eddie, are you okay?" Valerie asked guiltily.
CROW: <singing> Eddie are you okay, are you okay, are you okay Eddie?
MIKE: Never do that again.
"Am I okay? Am I okay?
TOM: Please repeat the question.
What kind of stupid question is that!? How could you
leave me here and then totally forget about me?!"
MIKE: Because the author didn't care.
the Prince of Barconia
angrily asked.
"Well, I didn't totally forget. I came back, didn't I?"
CROW: And I brought snacks!
she replied in a
slightly babyish voice. Edward groaned in dissatisfaction.
TOM: <singing> I don't get no, dissatisfation...
* * *
The two returned to the meeting by beaming in.
MIKE: Show-offs.
It turned out Eddie was just
CROW: Dreamy.
out cold from a knock on the head. Apparently, as witnesses told, before the
battle a girl carrying a heavy book tripped.
MIKE: Damn Necronomicon!
The book went flying and hit
him square in the head, knocking him out cold. Knowing that didn't make him
any happier either. Unconscious by a book. What a way to ruin your rep.
TOM: That's gotta suck, taken out by a bad plot device.
CROW: A plot device requires a plot, Tom.
TOM: Oh. Sorry.
"We're here."
"And about time. Let's get started," Vanessa declared. "Janella."
MIKE: Exactly how do you Janella?
Now in a white dress, thankfully clean, she stood up.
CROW: She'd have to try this 'shower' thing more often.
Janella walked over
to the displayer and tapped at a few buttons. A medical report came about.
TOM: About what?
"There were a lot of casualties this battle,"
MIKE: Like, a whole lot. More than a few.
she stated in her refined
TOM: Sugar.
manner, "both to people and MedBay. We are seriously low on supplies now.
CROW: So, here's the sign up sheet. We need everyone to bring one item...
Trade is down with our dealers,
MIKE: The price of crack is up by 4 and 3/4 today...
and we are then going to have a problem. As
for patients the death rate is extremely high for today. Out of 23,000
TOM: Dead.
people 65% of them were injured. That is 14,950 people either rushed to
MedBay or attended to on the place of injury. And, unfortunetly, 25% of Dome
City Two's people were killed. It all adds up to 5,750 killed today."
CROW: A big hand please, for the people who managed to get out of the fanfic!
<applause>
Vanessa gasped in shock. "Our last high was only a little over 3,000
killed. This is outrageous!"
MIKE: <announcer> Today, Dome City II set a new high for dead with 5750. The previous high of 3000 was set five years ago. At the airport, temperatures right now...
"Yes. It totals to only 10% of our people unharmed.
TOM: WHich manages to include all of us.
Less than 5% have
enough knowledge to help the others. This wound will take time to heal.
CROW: <announcer> Dome City II was put on the disabled list for six to eight weeks following an attack by unspecified enemies...
End
report."
Vanessa sighed. `I'll cry later,' she thought as tears fought to break out.
TOM: Should we be feeling sad?
MIKE: No.
She rested her elbow on the table and rested her head in her hand. She
CROW: Rested her foot on her floor, and rested her other hand in her lap. Then she rested her pancreas on top of her small intestine...
looked up and said, "Rianna."
Rianna stood and walked over to the display console. A damage report
appeared. "As you can probably see, damage is heavy...
MIKE: Unless you're blind...
Damage is... HEAVY
TOM: Oh, thanks. That really cleared things up.
Core 72%
Life Support 32%
MedBay 84%
CROW: What, are these quiz grades?
Transportation 74%
Food Supply 37%
Dome 53%
MIKE: 53% of what?
Weapons 89%
Shields/Force Fields 56%
Crystals 85%
Communications 94%
CROW: I'd like units, please.
Overall Damage 74.36%
Repair Crews in Use 9/9-ALL
Emergency Repair Crew IN USE
TOM: All one of them.
Medical Supplies Depleted By... 73%
CROW: So, Ramos decided to rattle off some random numbers and fill space that could be used for setting and development?
TOM: Hai.
Total Patients 13,800
Recovery Time 4MTHS TOTAL
TOM: Quick four months.
Total Death as of 23,000 5,750
Total Energy Loss 67%
Total City Damage 85%
Estimated Repair Time 16MTHS TOTAL
MIKE: 9 months if you don't use Teamsters.
END REPORT
"... and the estimated repair time, for now, is sixteen months.
CROW: Thank you, Miss Repetition.
That's a
year and four months.
TOM: She's pretty good at math.
We haven't sustained this much damage in over 5
billion years. End report."
CROW: I thought the report was already done.
MIKE: 5 billion years? It's been awhile since disco, but still...
Vanessa sighed. "What am I going to do with this city? Torek."
TOM: Just goes to show you, cities built on rock and roll just don't stand up like they used to.
Torek, a tall man, very refined, stood up. Overall he was very plain,
TOM: Except for being refined.
that's the way his kind were. Hardly show emotions and believe too much in
logic, these Arlians. They're just like Volcins.
CROW: Dammit, if you're going to rip off the Vulcans, and you're going to admit it, have the courtesy to SPELL THEIR GODDAMN NAMES RIGHT!
He walked over to the
console and a map appeared. He began to speak. "We have had no luck figuring
out why the computer reacted the way it did during the time of crisis. But
MIKE: Have you tried psychoanalysis?
we did scan the area for bodies of the crew and found a port trace."
TOM: Crow, I told you to keep to starboard!
"A port trace?" Val interrupted. "No one can port to the Core. The rocks
are interferers."
CROW: Yeah, of course the rocks are interferons...GUARDS!
"Apparently, we were wrong about that.
TOM: Yeah, that and the brilliant idea called Chibi-chibi.
We scanned and learned that the
portal was used several times, probably for the many of the crew.
MIKE: Which outweighs the one of the crew.
It traced
to some unknown dimension.
TOM: Dimension 7: the story lives on.
If you wish Princess, we can send scout ships to
map out the area."
CROW: You mean senshi.
"No, Torek. I won't risk lives just to map out some unknown region of the
dimensional set. If the bio brought people there it's obviously not safe."
MIKE: Obviously...what?
"Are you sure you do not want to reconsider?"
"No, Torek."
TOM: So you're not sure you don't want to reconsider?
"As you wish." He pointed to the map. "And to follow up on Commander
Jensen's report, this is what Dome City II looks like from above."
CROW: It's like, a dome, 'n stuff.
All gasped. The city lay in ruins. Two tall buildings had fallen. This was
TOM: Gila country, you <clap clap> beware <clap clap>.
not a map. This was simply a projection with a grid over it. There were
CROW: grid lines.
blazes of fire everywhere. You could even see the pile of dead bodies lying
about.
MIKE: Interesting compost technique.
It made Valerie and the Scouts sick to their stomachs. Vanessa stood
TOM: She was taking it all in stride. Death was her job.
and opened the blinds. The only light now was of the fires against the black
of night. One could almost taste the sour smell of death.
CROW: Maybe with enough LSD, pal.
She turned back
around to the projection screen to study it further.
TOM: <falsetto> I can't get enough of that death, it makes me so ho-
MIKE: Tom!
TOM: -mesick!
CROW: That was crappy.
Suddenly, it clicked off. Vanessa looked at Torek. "End report."
CROW: Or *else*.
When it was Valerie's turn the three who had already reported left.
TOM: You sure they didn't just beam out?
Valerie, Vanessa, and the Scouts discussed how they could increase
everyone's power without decreasing somebody else.
MIKE: Working long into the night, they concluded that the 1st Law of Thermodynamics still held, even in crappy crossovers.
"You know, there's something different," V stated. "When I got to MedBay
the doctor said something about an increased power level. I don't know, I
was too dazed. But it would have taken me hours to heal my wounds, and yet
it didn't."
CROW: It's called morphine.
"This may have something to do with Sailor Jupiter's disappearance. Amy?
Amy? Are you alright?" Val said.
She tapped her shoulder.
TOM: Do we call in the Unclear Pronoun Reference Squad?
MIKE: No point.
"What? Oh, yes I'm fine."
CROW: Nothing to do with Jupiter's terrible death--oops!
"Girl, you didn't look so hot there.
TOM: Well geez, she's the one with all the ice attacks.
What's wrong?" Mina asked.
"It's... it's Lita. Vanessa, remember that girl you tried to help?"
"Yes."
CROW: <falsetto> I killed her right away. Why?
"Well, she was Jupiter. At first when I scanned her I thought she had
already died, but she still had a chance."
"Oh? So where's our headstrong friend now?" Raye inquired.
MIKE: Raye seems to be taking things in stride.
"In the, morgue, probably by now." Amy hadn't said it like she was sad.
TOM: Because she was happy!
She
said it like she was miserable.
There were gasps from everywhere. "You mean, she's really gone?"
CROW: Well, until the author comes up with some cockamanie way to bring her back, yes.
Serena
wanted to know. Amy nodded yes sadly.
A tear trickled down Mina's eye.
TOM: Huh?
MIKE: Well, it's anime. It can take some time to go down an eye.
Serena started to sob again.
CROW: What an SOB.
Raye just sat
there, shocked. The fire which burned within her always dried up the tears
TOM: Sailor Mars is like a fire raging inside you...
MIKE: <Mars> Watch out, guys, I need the one that coats!
too quickly to be used. Vanessa was starting to cry herself, dumbfounded.
Amy sat there wondering whether she should cry or not.
CROW: Has Amy done a single in-character thing today?
MIKE: Nope.
As for Valerie, she
simply left the room.
V thought, 'That's why I healed so fast. The real Jupiter is dead.'
TOM: And I feel great!
CROW: Remember, when you're feeling ill, insist on authentic Sailor Jupiter lifeforce. Thank you.
* * *
Valerie walked out. She put her back against the wall and put her head
down. 'What have I done? I brought her here to her death. It's all my fault,
it's all my fault.'
CROW: Yes it is. Now do yourself a favor and kill yourself.
MIKE: Crow!
CROW: Oh, tell me you weren't thinking the same thing.
* * * * *
Half an hour after the meeting, a guilty feeling Valerie brought everyone
TOM: On a trip to GuiltLand!
CROW: A subsidiary of ConGlomCo(c).
home. When they returned to Tokyo it was only five minutes after they
arrived.
MIKE: Which was five minutes after they arrived, which was in turn five minutes after they arrived...
CROW: And thus the casuality loop causes the universe to implode, ending all their pathetic lives. The end.
MIKE: You're not helping yourself, my golden friend.
Valerie's time crystal worked wonders.
TOM: It takes the weight off and *keeps* it off!
Raye offered Valerie a room
CROW: Davies, you listening? Somebody's horning in on Serena's territory!
at the temple, but she declined, having to get back to her own home in the
MIKE: Ghetto.
U.S.
TOM: Where, due to the time difference, she was three hours late to school.
Darien decided to take a sick-leave from work and rest,
CROW: Regardless of the fact that he was in college.
he was still in
the process of healing.
"I'm sorry, guys. I mean, about Lita. I'd understand if you wouldn't want
to see me again," said the princess.
TOM: <falsetto> Good, because we don't. Now get out before you get a Moon Scepter up your-
MIKE: That's quite enough, Tom.
"No, Valerie. This isn't your fault. Jupiter died in battle.
CROW: So that otaku should not perish, but have everlasting fansubs.
That's all
that matters," Amy replied.
Mina decided to get rid of all this gloom.
MIKE: <Mina> How 'bout some sex?
"What about those bios? Surely
they'll attack again here, and you know we can't handle that kind of power."
TOM: Yes they will, and yes you can. And don't call me Shirley.
"Also, from the look of things in Dome City II, you probably couldn't even
detect our danger," Amy added.
CROW: Hey! Amy doesn't need you bunch of losers anyway! She could take you all on!
MIKE: <whisper to Tom> Advanced senshi worship.
TOM: <whisper to Mike> Definitely.
"You're right ladies. That's why I've brought these." Valerie handed the
CROW: Dime bags to them, reminding them not to lose them this time.
earth defenders' communicators back to them. "I've rigged them to
TOM: Detonate in two hours. Any hostages leave Juuban and it detonates. What do you do? What do you do?
call me in
case of emergency. The distress signal also carries over to Dome. Someone
should be by your side within seconds of the call."
MIKE: They'll just take your name and number, but hey, it's better than nothing.
"Thank you," Darien said.
"For what?"
"For helping," Serena replied.
TOM: Yeah, helping to turn their lives into hell by involving them in a struggle that they shouldn't have been involved in and killing a sailor.
* * * * *
Wesley staggered into Vanessa's Enterprise quarters.
MIKE: <stoner> I am *so* baked.
CROW: Precisely when did the Enterprise get involved?
"Hey. Guess what? I'm
not aloud to go into the Holodeck for a month."
CROW: Not even quietly?
"Really? That's wonderful," she said sarcastically. "We'll have to figure
something different out now. A whole month?"
TOM: Uh-oh, sounds like she wasn't using protection.
MIKE: Tom, that's so wrong on so many levels.
Wesley nodded. "Ever think of telling them?
CROW: About what? The lesbianism?
TOM: The crossdressing?
CROW: The child porn scam?
TOM: The posts to alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.sailor-mars?
CROW: Artemis' Lover?
MIKE: You two don't know when to quit, do you?
Not just about our past but
about the danger we walk into all the time?"
TOM: <Tuxedo Kamen> I have lost friends, some by death... others by sheer inability to cross the street...
MIKE: Mr. Krasinsky, our apologies.
"No. We can't do that. We don't want to worry them.
CROW: At the risk of provoking an actual response, exactly who is *them*?
Plus, the more who
know, the more in danger. They could find us anytime, and decide to hurt
them instead of us for our secrets."
TOM: This is like a bad Tomorrow People episode.
MIKE: No such thing.
Wesley sighed. "Yeah. You're right. We shouldn't tell them."
CROW: <Wesley> The games of 'doctor' will be our little secret, okay?
MIKE: I'm going to be ill...
Counselor Deanna Troi walked in with Dr. Beverly Crusher.
TOM: Bwomp chicka bwomp bwomp...
"Tell who what?"
Deanna asked.
"Uh."
MIKE: Uh! The refreshing new drink! With twice the 'uh-huh!'
CROW: <Ray Charles> You got the right one, baby!
Vanessa improvised, "Tell our two friends that they, they should get
TOM: Lives.
MIKE: They have friends?
together." Well it was partially true. They really did have two friends who
should get together in Dome City II. The thing is they weren't the greatest
CROW: Lovers in the world.
TOM: I just had a horrible thought about that guy, and it's all your fault.
couple together.
"Yeah," was all Wesley said.
MIKE: Which was far more than enough, lemme tell you.
"Mmm Hmm. Well, whatever it is here's the schematics of the ship you
wanted." Deanna handed Vanessa a small pad and started for the door.
TOM: She never made it. The Burmese tiger trap got her.
CROW: Deanna Troi. Killed in Vietnam.
"Thanks."
Beverly added to her son, "And remember, no Holodeck for a month. I'm tired
MIKE: Of all those Cream Lemon simulations.
TOM: Oh, who's got the dirty mind now, Nelson?
of seeing you all banged up, Wesley."
CROW: Naqvi! I told you about that word!
TOM: Huh?
CROW: I dunno. It was on my cue card. Must be some inside joke of the writer's.
"Yeah, I know."
MIKE: Mind clueing us in?
The ladies left the room. They stood outside the door a minute. "I
seriously think they're hiding something important. Not just a relationship,
but something more than that," Deanna claimed.
TOM: Thanks a lot, Ms. Warwick.
"I may not be a Batezoid,
CROW: For which I daily give thanks.
but I could tell myself. Although, that little
MIKE: Brat is getting on my nerves!
secret relationship of their's is cute. I never knew my son could be so
TOM: Repulsive.
romantic."
"Neither did I," a man's voice chimed in.
CROW: But that changed over dinner. Hooboy, he was *great*!
MIKE: Oh, that tears it. If we ever get out of here, you're getting a timeout.
It was Will Riker.
ALL: Noooo!
"Ever think of
following those two? Just to see what they're really up to?
MIKE: He likes to watch.
TOM: That's all too obvious.
CROW: How does he manage to set daily lows for humanity and decency?
I don't like
seeing them so beat up all the time. And they're never around when you need
them."
TOM: Like the other night...
Back inside, "They're on to us," the two said in unison.
CROW: Time for them to be...eliminated.
(continued)