Previously, on Dimension 6...

CROW: Previously, on Magnum, PI...
TOM: Previously, on Falcon's Crest...
MIKE: Previously, on Matlock...
TOM: ...Melrose Place...
CROW: ...3rd Rock from the Sun...
MIKE: ...The Simpsons...
TOM: ...Red Shoe Diaries...
CROW: ...Murder, She Wrote...
TOM: ...Fushigi Yuuigi...
MIKE: ...Bubblegum Crisis...
TOM: ...Cream Lemon...

    Nina suddenly sat up from her bed.

TOM: And levitated in the air.

    "...Isn't it great to be out, Darien?"

CROW: What, we're starting the story over again?
ALL: Nooooooooooooo!

    "Sigh. What a day, huh, Lita?" Mina asked.

MIKE: Okay, a free fansub to whoever can draw the relationship between those last three lines.

    ...And then some disturbing screams came from the other side of the lake.

CROW: Must be the previews for Speed 2.

    "We'd better go check it out..." 
    It was a seven foot tall monster with big blue wings...

TOM: It was beautiful!

    "Bring out the Princess, now!"
    He concentrated and it split into six separate little powerballs.
    Moon was trapped in a black sphere that seemed to have no air at all...

CROW: Gee, this is really familiar.

Hi. If you are reading this, I praise you. 

MIKE: <Michelle> You've read past the point where I stopped caring!

							I forgot to ask you to give me a
chance in Part 1. My address will be after this so don't forget to write!

TOM: Oh, I've got plenty of stuff lined up to write, don't worry.  <chuckles>

Anything that isn't mine, isn't mine. Anything that is mine, is MINE. See ya!  

MIKE: Bye!

    Dimension 6
    Part 2
    By: Michelle Ramos

TOM: Deep breath, guys.

    As each of these attacks drained their energy, the monster failed to
remember the two cats watching.

CROW: Well, they *are* bit characters, you know.

    Suddenly, a white furball came and scratched his ugly face.

CROW: It's tribbles!  I like the youma better!
MIKE: Crow, don't dignify this by calling the monster a youma.

    "Ahhg!" it screamed. "A furball scratched my face!" He lost all

TOM: Apparently, the author needed to drill that into our minds.

concentration and every energy drain shattered.

TOM: Like a potter's vessel.

    Moon gasped for air as her trap gave way. Mask and Venus coughed as they
fell to the ground. Jupiter was soaking wet, gasping for air, and coughing
all at the same time. Mars rubbed her cold shoulders and Mercury felt like
jumping in the lake.

CROW: Yes yes yes yes yesyesyes!
ALL: Jump!  Jump!

    "That's...huh...it! wheeze...You're...heh, toast! Moon, huh, Scepter
Elimination!" It took a while and almost all she had to kill this thing. As
soon as the attack wore down, Sailor Moon collapsed.

MIKE: Did she defeat the monster?  You decide.

    Tuxedo Mask crawled to her side. "That really must have taken a lot out of
you."
    "No, not really," Serena said tiredly. And then she fainted.

CROW: Ah, the Hemingway school for writing.
TOM:  There was a silence.  Then he died.

    "Yup, it did take a lot," Artemis chimed in. He pondered a thought and
said, "Anyone up for shopping?"

MIKE: That's just the sort of coment you expect from Artemis.

    (Warning: Meaningless part here.)

CROW: I thought the meaningless part was back at the disclaimers.
TOM: And everything in between.

                   *     *     *     *     *
    He thought he could mock their inability to shop. He thought they were
tired. He thought he was right.
    He was wrong.

TOM: *Dead* wrong.

    Suddenly, the four Scouts didn't look so tired anymore, much to Artemis'

MIKE: Um, you want a trailing s after the apostrophe to signify possession, unless you've got more than one Artemis.
TOM: I don't know about you, but possession really explains a lot about this story.
CROW: Um, we just started the second of seven parts.  Is it too early to complain about how bad this is?
MIKE: No.

dismay. They all perked up. "Wow, Artemis," Venus said, "what a great idea!"
    "WHAT?!" Artemis yelled on the top of his little kitty lungs.

CROW: <falsetto> Oh, those little itty-bitty kitty lungs are *so* kawaii!!

                   *     *     *     *     *
    BEEEEP! BEEEP!! BEEP!!! Nina's invisible wrist communicator started

MIKE: -to detect a stupid detail.

beeping. She made sure she had privacy in her basement before answering the

TOM:  Gee, thanks for giving us so much detail on her house. 

call. She touched her right wrist and a small communicator appeared with
some high-tech buttons and a small screen.

CROW: <falsetto>  They were really cool.  Shame I can't tell you about them.
TOM: Hey!  That's Penny's watch!

    "Valerie, you'd better get over here. I want you to see these readings," a
young male voice said.

MIKE: Sure.  Where's here?
TOM: Wait...who's Valerie?

    "Eddie, can't you call my brother and not me?" Nina protested in an
irritated tone.

CROW: Oh, so her brother's Valerie?

    "I did, he said to contact you. Now get over here," he ordered.
    "Oh, okay." 

TOM: <Nina> He's my pimp, but I love him!

			The 13 year old tapped a few buttons on her communicator,
other
known as a com-link, and the screen went blank. 

CROW: This is sounding eerily like the Star Trek Technical Manual.
TOM: And exactly *how* would you know what it's like, hm Crow?
CROW: Uh...

								She made a flicking motion
with her hand, and a red portal appeared. In was about as tall as her in an
oval shape which swirled with energy. 

MIKE: Potential?
CROW: Kinetic?
TOM: Thermal?
MIKE: Electromagnetic?
CROW: Nuclear?
TOM: Geothermal?
MIKE: Solar?

						This was a portal to another
dimension. 

TOM: Or to the Denny's across the street.  Figure it out yourself.

		The girl stepped through and disappeared from sight. The portal
slowly collapsed inward until it closed in a flash.       

CROW: No-one will be admitted during the thrilling portal scene!

    Somewhere, in a high-tech city, 

MIKE: Dear God, it's Redmond!
CROW: Get the tacnukes.

						a red and blue portal formed near the
ceiling. A figure shot through and fell hard. The young boy watching was
happy to see an old friend.

TOM: I like this style.  Sparse and to the point, with no elaboration whatsoever.
MIKE: Maybe this *is* the Apocalypse, and she's going to throw in Tenchi Muyo too.

    What Eddie saw was a typical girl. She had dark, wavy hair just a few
inches below her shoulders, along with brown eyes. She was beautiful in

CROW: Total darkness.  Otherwise, all bets were off.

every aspect. Eddie, himself was cute, too. 

MIKE: So in this city, ugly people are just shot on sight?
TOM: No, they're just killed at birth.  Part of the selective breeding program.

								He looked about 14, though he
was much older. 

CROW: His clients didn't know this, however.  Heh heh.

			Black, wavy hair and awesome brown eyes. He was looking good
for his age.

TOM: I'm getting wierd vibes here.
CROW: Been done, gumball-boy.

    He got right down to business. "I've been getting some familiar, but bad,
readings from 20th century Japan. Your time. It looks like your fighting
days aren't over." 

MIKE: Should I say it?
CROW: No.  I will.
MIKE: Fine.
CROW: Nina, you're going undercover.

                   *     *     *     *     *
    After shopping with the girls another five hours straight, Artemis felt

TOM: Like he had shopped with the girls for five hours straight.
MIKE: Nice how they rebounded so fast from nearly being killed.

like he got just beat up by a dog. 'Even if Queen Beryl beat me up, it
wouldn't compare to this,' he thought. Now they were at Raye's temple having

CROW: A nice big Roman...

a Scout meeting, after their so-called recovery.

TOM: Alt.senshi.recovery indeed!  I didn't even get a bsfh domain!
CROW: da Silva?  Ya' reading this?
TOM: No, but I bet Cantrick is.

We're seeing Raye in her Shinto robes doing a fire reading. 

MIKE: We're seeing the present tense.

											All of the
others were in a row sitting behind her.

MIKE: Or not.

							 She was trying to get something on
that weird monster. Raye was just about to give up and break the reading,
when suddenly a flash image appeared. The picture was of someone, or

TOM: Milton Berle.

something, definitely old but yet, at the same time young? 

CROW: Yes.
TOM: No.
MIKE: Maybe.
ALL: PASS!

										And it was Evil(tm).

TOM: Really.  I cannot describe to you just how Evil(tm) it was.

All of a sudden it disappeared.
    'I must tell the others.'

CROW: Well, they're right there and all...

					 She broke her link and turned around. "I saw an

MIKE: angelic host praising God, and saying...
ALL: Glory to God, Glory to God in the highest!
TOM: Messiah ref number two, folks.

image of a powerful Evil(tm) being and..."

CROW: Socks.  Lots and lots of socks.  I can't understand it.

    "We saw the thing, too, what else?" Serena interrupted.
    "Don't interrupt when I'm talking! Anyways, I got the premonition that it
was old, but...young...at the same time. I don't get it."

TOM: Must be that integration by parts.  I could never get the hang of that stuff.

    "But how could someone be old and young at the same time?" Lita
questioned,
puzzled.

CROW: What is this, the revised riddle of the Sphinx?

    "All I can say right now is be on your guards, anything could happen,"
Raye
warned.

MIKE: Um it's okay to used the word 'said,' you know.

    "Amy, is this the Negaverse we're dealing with?" Mina asked. 

TOM: Worse.  The Conservative party.
CROW: John Major, no!

    She checked her mini-computer and answered, "From what my computer
recorded, this attack was not from the Negaverse."

CROW: New Labour?

    "I didn't feel any Nega-vibes, either," Raye added. 
    "Are you saying this isn't the Negaverse?" inquired Serena.

MIKE: Well, since that's pretty much verbatim what she said earlier...
TOM: To recap, the Borg are back.
MIKE: Don't remind me of that, please.

    "Yes. I have no significant idea of what this new enemy could be. I'll try
to start a program to dig up anything more," Amy announced. And with that,
she began to type away at her little keyboard.

TOM:  Gee, even chiisai would be good enough!
CROW: Shizuka ni!

    "They could be after the Silver Crystal again, whoever they are, I think
we
should all watch over Serena at all times," Lita proclaimed.

CROW: The Sailor Scouts have agents in all places, keeping meticulous tabs on their leader!
TOM: Yes, there's no place on Earth that their tendrils do not reach!

    "Good idea," Raye complimented.
    "We should all get going, it's getting late, and I'm bushed," claimed
Artemis tiredly.

<Mike just shakes his head>

    "Well it's your own fault," accused Luna, "YOU'RE the one who wanted to go
shopping. But I have no distinct clue why you would want the latest fashions
or a scrunchy, unless there's a new kitty fad that I haven't been informed of."

TOM: Hey, there's nothing wrong with wanting scrunchies!
CROW: Femme!
TOM: Am not!

    A few giggles and chuckles were heard as the girls headed out the door.
Unfortunetly, they didn't expect to have to have their guards up so soon.

MIKE: Um, if you're trying to build suspense, it's not working.

              *     *     *     *     *
    "Valerie, I'm reading Bio-mec activity in 20th century Japan."

MIKE: Great, boomers on top of everything else.

    "Just great. I hope I'm not rusty."

CROW: That depends.  Are you composed primarily of ferrous compounds?

              *     *     *     *     *
    It was ugly. This time it was blue and looked kind of like a machine. 

TOM: For crying out loud, be assertive!

													It
was nearly seven feet tall and had the look of a good warrior. On the
creature's face, its skin was completely peeled off and only its hideous
skull was showing. With the machine's highly advanced brain, it sensed the
girls' coming and went to greet them. As soon as they appeared, he
deactivated his cloak and sent a nasty shockwave their way. Everyone flew
back against the wall.    

MIKE: Somehow, that totally fails to give an impression of fear or loathing.

    "Ow, ow, owie! That hurt!"

ALL: FRANK!

    "Sailor Scouts transform!" Luna commanded.
    "Right!" they answered.

CROW: You are correct, sir!

    "MARS STAR POWER!!"
    "VENUS STAR POWER!!"
    "MERCURY STAR POWER!!"
    "JUPITER STAR POWER!!"
    Everyone became the Sailor Scouts in flashes of multi-colored light. As

TOM: Quite a time-savings from the TV henshin sequences, ne?

for
Serena, she sat there still hurting from the shock.

TOM: Shock the monkey!

    "Serena, get up! You're our leader! So transform already, meatball head!"
Mars yelled.

MIKE: Love that respect for authority.

    "Can it, Raye! I was just about to do that!" She stood up. "Mooon! Crystal

ALL: Mooon?

Power!" And then Serena became Sailor Moon once more. "I am Sailor Moon!

CROW:  Don't you mean Sailor Mooon?

I..." She did the usual thing.  

CROW: <falsetto> I can't remember the speech.  Just fill in the details, okay?

    The monster was too impatient for her and shot another wave which was

TOM: Deep Submerge!

easily dodged by the Scouts. They jumped to all sides. It turned right and

MIKE: Went onto Bourke Street.  Then, it went on a couple of miles to the third stoplight...

targeted Mars. The monster lifted its arm and it morphed into a small canon.

TOM: By Pachelbel?
CROW: Beautifully performed by the New York Philharmonic.
TOM: Conducted by Karajan.
MIKE: Now I *know* it's a joke.

A yellow, wide-spread phasor beam shot out and she flew back in pain.

MIKE: Phaser?  Guys, are you thinking what I'm thinking?
TOM: No.  In the name of all that's holy, you'd better not be thinking what we're thinking.

    "Mars! Venus Crescent Beam! Smash!"

CROW: Mars, Venus...make up your mind!

    "Jupiter Thunder! Crash!" The two combined attacks hit the thing dead on

TOM: So...Mars and Venus are working together?

and disappeared without a scratch. "What?! No!" Jupiter shouted in disbelief.
    Suddenly, the monster ran with amazing speed towards Mercury. She didn't

TOM: Have the right eyeliner, so she-
CROW: <menacing> Are you implying that Sailor Mercury made a mistake?
TOM: Um...no, not at all!  <cringes>

even have time to dodge the punch in the stomach or the uppercut that sent
her flying.

<Crow boos loudly; the others look at him strangely>

    "Moon Tiara Magic!" Her tiara flew towards him but he used his right arm
like a bat and hit it back towards home base: Sailor Moon.

MIKE: And yet another attempt at an analogy fails miserably.

										 "Tiara STOP!
STOP!" 

MIKE <flatly>: Stop, tiara, stop.

		And so it stopped. 

TOM: Woah, neat trick Mike!
MIKE:  Hm.  Stop, fanfic, stop.

					Again the monster ran, this time towards Sailor
Moon. Just as it came two inches close something red flashed across its

MIKE: Damn.

face. This very small distraction gave her enough time to get away.

CROW: Maybe it won't be a rose this time.

    The creature turned to its right and on the ground he saw a rose. It

CROW: Damn.

turned
left to see Tuxedo Mask. 

CROW: Well, maybe Sailor Mooon won't go gaga over him.

					Serena also saw him and looked on with a dreamy
look and hearts in her eyes. He jumped down to her side and kissed her
quickly on the cheek. He turned and got back to the battle.

CROW: Double damn.

    "I have an idea," he whispered fast, "you use your strongest attacks on
him
at the same time.

TOM: Oh yeah, it takes a real strategan like Kamen to figure something like that out.

    "Great idea, Tuxedo Mask."
    "I agree. And if that doesn't work try to pool your power and throw it at
that monster," Luna said.

MIKE: Um, wasn't that Tuxedo's plan in the first place?

    "Okay, I'll go first," Venus declared. "Venus Love Chain Encircle!!"

ALL: Saaaaay!

    "Jupiter Thunderclaps Zap!!"

TOM:
MIKE: Easy, Tom, Japanese doesn't recognize singular and plural forms in most cases.
TOM: But this is English!  And I never got to say anything!

    "Moon Scepter Elimination!!!"
    Tuxedo Mask threw all of his roses as well.

TOM: Could we have a number, please?
CROW: Twelve.
TOM: Thanks.

								 Every attack made direct hits
and the dust rose up.

MIKE: From some unspecified place.
TOM: Probably the same place Mooon keeps her Cutie Rod.

				 When the attacks died down and the dust settled, the
team looked to see what had happened to the monster. "Did we get it?" Moon
asked. It was hard to see anything yet. 

CROW: And the warranty had run out on Mercury's visor.

						Suddenly a shadow appeared and the
monster emerged.
    "Your plan has failed," the machine said in its odd voice, "prepare to
suffer the consequences."

TOM: Consequences, schmonsequences, as long as I'm rich...

    "It's alive! Alive!" Tux yelled.

MIKE: No, that's a different movie.  It happens to be better.

							 Then he noticed all of the weird looks he
got, accompanied by sweat drops. He blushed and confessed, "Sorry. I always
wanted to say that."

CROW: Well, don't.

    Next Jupiter said, "Everyone, Plan B?"

CROW: <Shatner> B, as in Barricade.
MIKE: That's it, no Star Trek V references for the rest of the post.
TOM: Codename wa Star Trek V?
MIKE: No.

    "Plan B," everyone answered back. The three remaining Scouts joined hands
while Cape Boy jumped in the middle. He took out a rose and started charging
it with power.

TOM: So he just ran down and grabbed some more roses from the greenhouse?

    "Moon Crystal Power!"
    "Venus Star Power!"
    "Jupiter Star Power!"

CROW: So exactly what happens when you shout a henshin phrase after having transformed?

    Everyone started glowing their own respective color; Moon glowing pink,

MIKE: You mean Caucasian.

and
Tuxedo Mask glowing black. 

MIKE: You mean African-American.

					Then a mix of their colors started forming above

TOM: Brown?

them in a power ball and was charging with energy. When all their power was
given, it flew with blinding speed towards the monster. The power engulfed
the monster and several seconds later, it died down.

CROW: Another gripping battle scene courtesy of Michelle Ramos.
MIKE: Wait, we're not done yet.

    "Now did we get it?"
    The lights disappeared and then it was clear. There stood the machine,
scratched yes, but still ready to fight.

TOM: Great.

    End Part 2.

ALL: NANI!?!
CROW: Dammit, she spends nearly two entire parts on a single scene!?!

Thank you for reading this. Okay, please don't critizise me, 

MIKE: Oops.

											especially you
(Susan P. 

TOM: Wait...Setsuna's most common NA name is Susan...Pluto...Puu...P...
CROW: Setsuna!  Please save us!  Pleaseeeeee!

		you know who you are). Just tell me if you like it or not. Death
threats are accepted.

CROW: Well, in that case...

    Mail me: <eoramos@ix.netcom.com>

TOM: Consider it done.  Would you like to know how to make $50,000 in one month?

(continued)