BTW, don't send copies to me and the list.  I don't need duplicates.  ;)

At 12:09 PM 6/6/97 -0700, Damon Casale wrote:

You'd be vewwy suwpwised.  We have zee black helicopters and zee foreign
troops under our command already!  >:)

  Black helicopters?  Damn it Damon, I expressly ordered maroon for the
helicopters and I don't care what Kodachi says.  (I just can't get good
help these days.)  

*giggle*  How's this, then?

			U.N. Me
		    A Not-Very-Likely Production
		    (Not to be confused with
		    a Not-Bloody-Likely Production ;)
		    By Damon Casale 

	It was a slow day at the Earth Defense Headquarters. (well, we only 
really defend US, that is, U.S., but "Earth Defense Headquarters" sounds 
so much more officious ;)  Captain Blork was wearing a trench in the 
trench-proof carpet in the Unidentified-Not-One-Of-Ours-Flying-Pancake 
Detection room.  The private at his disposal (er, we really mean 
command...I think) was in the middle of stifling a yawn when something 
momentous happened.

	"Captain!" he shouted.  "Captain, I think we've got one!"  "What, a 
flying pancake?" he answered instantly.  "And it's not one of ours?"  "No, 
captain, it's one of those unmarked helicopters!" said the private.  "It's 
meandering over our airspace right now!"  He peered at the blip screen in 
front of him.  "I'm pretty sure it's black, but it could be maroon."  He 
peered a bit closer.  "Yes, on second thought, it's definitely populated 
by maroons," he said as the helicopter pilot shot him the finger.

	The captain whapped him hard across the back of his head.  "Don't bother 
me with this nonsense, Joke!  We only look for unidentified flying 
PANCAKES, do you hear me!?  Now, refer this to the 
Unidentified-Flying-Maroon-Helicopter division, and be quick about it!"  
Private Joke nodded, suitably mollified.  "Yes,sir."

	Joke pushed a large red button labeled "We've-Got-An-Unidentified- 
Flying-Maroon-Helicopter-And-We-Don't-Know-What-To-Do-With-It" and waited 
for a couple of seconds while the buzzer rang.  Then, he listened as a 
recording played in his headset.

	"Uhh...captain?  The officer on duty there...umm...well, he isn't on 
duty.  He's being briefed by the UN commander, visiting from the detention 
center they built secretly, without American voter approval, in Utah.  
Should I tack this one on the board too, sir?"  The captain nodded lazily 
after a moment.

	Private Joke removed his headset, scribbled something onto a post-it 
note, and jammed it onto a rather overfilled dartboard in the corner.  A 
few of the other post-it notes fell off and fluttered to the floor.  Above 
the dartboard was a sign:  "I despise inefficiency in the ranks!"

			----------

Warning:  the previous may be considered harmful to your health if you are 
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This has been a Not-Very-Likely production.  Copy and distribute at your 
own risk.  All rights reserved.  All wrongs righted.  All torques twisted. 
 Please pass the Grey Poupon.

Damon Casale, damoo@carmelnet.com
Spam, spam!  WONDERFUL spam!  ^_^