Gary Kleppe fic'd:

      "You will be able to understand everyone there, and they you.
All speech will be dubbed into English for you. As for your lack of

The question has to be asked, if the characters are being dubbed into
English (in a self-insertion-otaku-your-name-here), who is does their
voices.  For that matter, who does your Japanese? ;)

*insert scene of the Ranma 1/2 cast laughing at you because your Japanese
 voice is amusing ;) *

Which comes to the next point ...   what if... what if (the phrase bears
repeating)... what if... you were transported to an Anime Universe, but
only got the subbed version?

****************s*n*o*w*f*l*a*k*e*s**************************************

(and to think I'd never write a self-insertion fic)

<I come from a land Down-Under, where women glow and men> *urk*

My reverie was rudely interrupted when a dark red, highly polished, brand
new Holden Commodore[1] swept by dangerously close, its rather low and
loud exhaust note revealing some serious backyard engine modifications. 
With a tight smile I watched the following off-white, beginning to need a
wipe over, new model Holden Commodore[2] glide past, its tight exhaust
note revealing an engine maintained by highly trained mechanics. 

<where women glow and some men never learn>.

After pausing to make sure that no more vehicles were even considering
running a red light, I crossed that space of known death (ironically named
after a Ruler of relative peace[3]) and entered the square.

<Ah Victoria[4]> I mused, sprawling out on a convient patch of grass,
<You'd be amused by where your castoffs placed your statue.  Facing a
 Casino[5] no less.  Now what has the Wraith granted me hmmm?>

Gently upending the bag I was carrying produced suitable results; a small
pile of videotapes now lay upon the ground.

<Ah, most of Robotech.  I *like*...>

I purused the labels of the videos while I ate my packed lunch, continuing
on with a bit of light reading[6].

                                      ~~~~~

[1] The sort of care that looks and sounds *perfect*, but is driven by
    someone running on terosterone rather than common sense.
[2] Police Car.
[3] King George.  The streets of Brisbane city are named after various
    Royal figures.
[4] Queen.
[5] Treasury Casino.
[6] An Apple Reference Manual actually ;)

                                      ~~~~~

After packing the videos into my theres-always-room-for-one-more-thing
carisak, I cleared my immediate area of rubbish, and headed for the
office, blithly crossing the road.

<do you speaka my language; he just smiled and gave me, a vegemite..
 cloudy sky.. road. a face. *pain*>

                                      ~~~~~

"And in news just at hand, a man in his mid-twenties is in a critical
condition at the Royal Brisbane Hospital, the victim of a hit'n'run
incident in in the city this afternoon.  Police are still searching for
the driver of a red"

                                      ~~~~~

*a light.. focused.. pain.. bright.. surrounding.. nothing.. a voice..*

[ You are responding. There is hope. ]

<re... Yes.  And hope for what?>

[ Nothing.  Everything. ]

<say again?>

[ All will be revealed, in due time. ]

*bright.. too.. dark.. sleep*

                                      ~~~~~

Suddenly everything flashed into view.  I was standing in an alley, clean
except for the odd stray bit of paper.  The last thing was crossing.. no!
A change in the light level caught my attention, and I looked, out of the
alley at the scrolling sign across the street.

( Don't Worry.  Too much. )

<huh?>

( All will be revealed, meanwhile, just enjoy the ride.  Trust Me (; )

The sign stopped scrolling in english and returned to what I had assumed
at first glance to be meaningless flickering.  I shivered, both from what
the sign had said and the impending sunset.

<enjoy the ride.  hmph.  Trust Me.  yaright.  And where in hell am I?
 Somewhere .. in Japan from those characters.  But where.  And how?>

Emerging from the alley I turned left, and trudged along eyeing the
various items.

<niiice cars.  almost like those in.. gah?>

Lost in my gawking, I'd set foot on a crossroad when a neon sign on the
other side practically screamed "STOP YOU MORON".  A very sleek car
screamed past at high speed, another sleek car with red and blue lights
flashing in hot pursuit.

<that looked like an ADPolice car.. oh shit.  no.  can't be>

( PEOPLE ARE STAREING.  KEEP WALKING )

<...>

I kept walking.  Suddenly the street emptied, almost as if an unseen
plug had been pulled, or the end of an act had been reached.

Which it had, in a sense.  I crouched and turned slowly, dreading what I
suspected, but didn't believe in.

<oh shit.  Built like Arnie, armed like Willis, blue like a smurf. buma.  
 Ok, I believe.>

By now my legs had decided for me and were doing their best to break
several land speed records.  Unfortunately missiles don't need to break
air speed records. 

*BOOM*

My brain had finally ceased gibbering at the concept of a Buma and now
decided to exercise a measure of self preservation.  I hit the ground
rolling but still was hit by flying glass from the shop window.

<don't think run run run run run run RUN>

And up... *panic*.. and down, bare hands hitting glass fragments,
coordination gone.. *panic*

( DON'T PAN ) *BOOM*

more glass, some still hot.  I can feel several more hit my body in
several places.  My jacket is having small nicks put in it but my jeans
are suffering, as are my legs.

<panic pain run run run RUN>

"Sanjo!"    The command cut through all noises like a knife through
butter.  

<panic run run run run ru wha? run run run>

I scrambled to my feet and fled around the corner, falling to a stop and
then crawling back.  

<bullshit.  Knight Sabers?  This is *not* happening>

I peered around the corner again.  The Green and Blue suits were battling
it out with a Buma, just as in the Anime.  I retreated around the corner
and sat down. 

<Why Me?  Ok, if this is the anime, and a fic, then I should now meet one
 of them.  Enjoy the ride.  Hah!>

                                      ~~~~~

@ Daijoubo? @

<Yipe!>

I turned around, and tried to make myself one with the wall.  Confronting
me was something I knew was a) cute and b) deadly.  The Pink Saber tilted
her head slightly and asked something again.

@ Daijoubo desu ka? @

<Hell, I don't know Japanese.>

"Um, English?"

( She said 'Are you alright?'.  Moron. )

The Pink Saber took a step back when I suddenly peered intently at her
visor, then spun around to where the reflection of the sign was
originating and glare at it.  It managed to look apologetic;

( .pleH oT .. Just Trying To Help.  )

*******************************************************************************

As if being in Anime was bad enough, being trapped in a dub? ;)  

                                      ~~~~~
                  The Chaotic Trickster - kergma@humbug.org.au

Yeah yeah, I'll do more on this one day.