This is not meant to infringe upon Anthony Woo's *excellent*
Kasumi-Ranma story. Rather, I just couldn't pass up the title.
Lime-Warning
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Kasumi's *Other* Little Secret
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"Kasumi, do you mind if a I ask you a question?" Ranma
asked sheepishly.
Kasumi, who was cheerily hanging the wash, turned toward
him as she pinned one of Nabiki's school uniforms to the line.
"Of course, Ranma. What do you need?"
"Well, I was wondering... Ummm... Er... Well I was thinking
of when Pop and I used to have an apartment on the other side of
town. It was when I learned the Neko-ken, and just before I met
Ryouga. Pop didn't clean much. He was used to my mom cleanin' or
just burnin' all the trash while we were camping.
"Then I was thinkin about how much you do here, and how
much me and Pop eat and--"
"Why Ranma, are you offering to help me keep the house up?"
Kasumi smiled calmly and hung up another school dress.
"Well... I kinda feel guilty about how much Pop eats, and I
haven't exactly been on a diet, myself. I don't keep a very tidy
house, but I do know how to cook an' stuff."
"Oh, Ranma. I couldn't let you do that."
Ranma shook his head embarassedly. "Really, I should be
contributing. Pop won't let me take students, and I really can't
hold down a part time job with all the wackos around here."
Kasumi shook her head. "Let me put it this way, Ranma. I
don't *want* to let you do any of the cleaning or cooking."
"Huh... Why not? I could help a bunch!" This wasn't going
nearly like Ranma had planned. He felt like his honor was being
stained by his and his father's freeloading on the Tendou's
hospitality, and he really wanted to give something back. After
the fiasco when he tried to attract students to the dojo, his
father had strictly forbid him from taking more students until
his own education was complete.
"It's not that I don't appreciate help every once in a
while, but I *like* to do all the cleaning and cooking."
"I don't get it..."
Kasumi smiled, and patted his shoulder. "Why don't you come
with me, Ranma? I'd like to show you something."
She took him around the far side of the dojo, to a storage
shed built into the back of it. After a few seconds of searching,
she pulled out a small canvas sack, and began to untie the cord.
"What's that, Kasumi? Some Tendou family secret training
scroll?"
"You could say that, Ranma," She got the knot untied, and
poured the contents of the bag out on the cement porch in front
of the storage shed. Twenty-six blocks bearing the Roman letters
of the alphabet stared up at Ranma benevolently.
"Building blocks."
"Yes, Ranma, building blocks. Why don't you stack them?"
Ranma was about to walk off in disgust, when he caught a
glimpse of the statement Kasumi was trying to make. Carefully, he
built a simple pyramid shape out of the blocks.
"I still don't get it, Kasumi."
Kasumi roughly kicked the pyramid down.
"Hey! What'd you do that for? Now I have to stack it up
again!"
"Exactly!" Kasumi began stacking the blocks into a much
more complicated shape. "Didn't you feel a sense of acomplishment
and satisfaction when you stacked the blocks up?"
Ranma nodded. "But I don't mind having help stacking them
back up."
"Hmmm... "Kasumi rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "Let me try
explaining another way. You enjoy martial arts, don't you?"
Ranma nodded.
"You'd rather do martial arts than almost anything."
"Yeah..."
"Has martial arts ever made you... excited?"
"Well, I kinda get pumped when I do it. It's a great rush,
ya know."
Kasumi shook her head. "I meant excited as in...
*aroused*."
Ranma's cheeks turned bright red. "W-well, there was this
one time me and Akane were sparring, and her gi came open, a-and
she wasn't wearin' a shirt under it... or nothin'.
Kasumi sighed and shook her head slightly. "It would be
very nice if you and Akane would get along better, but you're
still missing the point." She finished the intricate building
block statue she had been building. "Have the martial arts
*themselves* ever caused that same feeling."
Ranma was about to answer when the evidence clicked
together in his head. "You get *turned on* by cleaning?!?!" He
was dense, not stupid.
"Mmmm-hmmmmm!" Kasumi smiled at Ranma. It was less her
usual 'everything's right with the world' smile and more like the
smile Nabiki got when she made a great deal of money.
It suddenly occured to him that Doctor Tofu might make the
messes he did when Kasumi was around quite intentionally.
Kasumi draped her arm around Ranma's shoulder. "You see why
I don't mind every one tearing up the house all the time. You've
been quite a joy to me, Ranma."
Ranma was suddenly *very* uncomfortable in his situation.
Still, something inside him wanted to push it.
"So if I told you that I was going to do something that
would probably tear up most of the house tonight...."
Kasumi moaned under her breath. "Go on..."
"Ryouga's P-chan."
Kasumi nodded as if it were no surprise. She stared deep
into his eyes. Deeper than Ranma was really prepared to deal
with.
"Why haven't you told Akane?"
"I promised Ryouga I wouldn't give away his weakness before
he started sleeping in Akane's bed. My... obligation to Akane is
startin' to mean more than my obligation to Ryouga. I'm not gonna
let him get away with lyin' and takin' advantage of MY fiancee!"
Kasumi 'oohed'. "So you're going to tell Akane tonight." It
was more of a statement than a question.
Ranma only nodded. "And then, one or both or all three of
us are gonna fight. I don't know how Akane's gonna take it, but
Ryouga's definitely gonna want to kick my ass."
Kasumi's eyes fluttered as her other arm reached around to
embrace Ranma. "And I suppose you'd just *have* to defend
yourself, wouldn't you?"
"Umhmm. But you know how Akane gets when she's pissed.
She'll go through the walls if she wants."
Kasumi shuddered and pulled Ranma close to her body.
"Mmmmmmm... And Ryouga uses that enery attack when he gets upset.
The 'Shishi-Houkodan'?"
"His 'Bakusai-Tenketsu' makes more of a mess."
"Ah...!" Kasumi moaned in rapture. Her fists clenched
behind Ranma's back.
"And I might just have to tear up the place with a 'Hiryuu-
Shouten-Ha' to make sure Ryouga didn't accidentally hurt Akane or
anything. Makes a hell of a mess."
"AHHHH!!! Ranma!" Ranma suddenly found himself in a
crushing embrace, and Kasumi's lips plastered against his own.
She screamed into his closed lips as her body shuddred and
spasmed against his own.
*Oh my Lord...* Ranma thought. *What did I just do?!?!*
Kasumi's body slumped, and she leaned her head against
Ranma's shoulder. Ranma shook nervously.
"Oh, Ranma... You'd really do all that... for me?"
Numbly, he nodded.
"Does Akane... do this... too?"
Kasumi smiled wearily. "Oh yes, we all do. I like cleaning.
Nabiki likes playing with money, and Akane likes breaking things.
We all get it from Mother I think. She built the dojo by hand,
you know."
Ranma shuddered, and tried to disentangle himself from his
finacee's sister.
"If you hurry," she said, "You might be able to get to
Akane before she goes out with her friends."
Ranma ran for the house.
Kasumi smiled, straigtened her dress, and began to hang
laundry again. It wasn't as good as cleaning, but in only a few
hours, she would have all she could stand.
"Oh, Ranma..."
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Chris
Comments, Flames, and General Abuse to:
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Chris Jones hamster@arn.net
The Hamster House of Animation http://users.arn.net/~hamster
The Ranma 1/2 Gallery http://www.geocities.com/tokyo/6413
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What do you mean, 'The water heater's broken again'???