Well, this is my first C&C post to the FFML.... in fact, this is my first
post *ever* to the FFML. ^_^;

(Newbie Spiel Mode/ON) N-E-Wayz, I just wanted to say that I've been
lurking for, oh, about 26 hours now. I just wanted to announce my
presence so that when I finally post my "Glass Wizardry" (working titles)
starring Mousse of Ranma 1/2, no one will be terribly put off to see my
name appearing next to the title. (NSM/off)

(C&C on "Faux Existence Part One")

1) First thing that I noticed was that there's a new character by the
name of Megumi. Aside from her name being a reference to the seiyuu of
female Ranma, I was struck by how little she is characterized in this
piece. Perhaps a lot  can be accomplished if her viewpoint is used. To
start with "Kotomi" only obscures the person that she really is, that she
turns out to be... I completely missed the little details about their
relationship; I guess I take it for granted that Japanese women have very
intimate friendships, which can often resemble lesbianism to an outsider
(I think it's the same thing with the men, too, btw). 

2) As the story unfolded (good build-up, btw, about the entire gang
closing in on Ranma despite his disguise), I noticed the subtle, and
not-so subtle differences in the Ranma-cast. I kept wondering if this is
an alternate-universe, and if so, why is it that everyone's already
acquainted with each other? It turns that the answer is "no", and I'm
glad that I persevered to actually find that out. However, I think that
it can be made clearer early in the story as to where this  fits into the
established timeline of Ranma 1/2

3) I think that this is an interesting start to the Eternal Lost Lurker's
(sorry, I don't know what else to call you) series. Description is
somewhat fast-paced for me, but that may be either me assuming the wrong
things, or the author simply taking a few crucial details for granted.

  Yamaguchi Kotomi sighed wearily 

"Yamaguchi" as in Kappei, male Ranma's seiyuu.

her work uniform.    "Kuso...

Familiar voice right here.

  "I didn't know you had a brother!"
  Kotomi nodded. "Hai. When I was little I lived with my mom, and 
Ranma and my dad went on a training trip...they were martial artists.
"
  "Oh, cool!" Megumi frowned. "So, where is your brother now?"
  Kotomi sighed. "He died a couple years ago. An accident in China. 
This is all that I have to remember him by."

The above is the reason why I thought this was an alternate universe
story... That directly after Ranma takes the plunge, he takes off into
this new lifestyle. That Nabiki and Ukyou knew each other and were
looking for him seemed fairly believable to me, and there was nothing
else to indicate otherwise. "Happy Spatula" was also something that threw
me off.

conversing in Mandarin. Stopping out of sight, she caught a glimpse 
of a head of all-too-familiar purple hair, and a young man she didn't 
recognize at first, but by the way he carried himself, he could only 
be one person.

"Recognize at first" why? What happened to Mousse that he's rendered
unrecognizable???

"Found who, tousan?"

(Kentarou speaking in above.) Is Ken-chan's dialect reflective of
Toufuu's?

  Sasuke's nervous reply vexed him. "Ah, Tatewaki-dono, I am afraid 
Kodachi-dono has already left after receiving the fax about Saotome."

>From what I could hear him say in the original dialogue versions of
Ranma 1/2, I've always heard Sasuke say "Tatewaki-sama" and
"Kodachi-sama". Just what is the difference, and why does it have to be
included?

  Saotome Nodoka smiled at her young grandson. "Maybe later, Kouma-
chan. 

Kouma. I think the first place that I saw this name was Benares'
"Stepping Stones." It means "little horse", doesn't it? It seems to be a
popular name for Ranma's child.

    onna no ko  usotsuki deshou
    kyuu ni anata o kirai ni naru
    otoko no ko tomadou deshou
    suki to tsugerare unazuiteta
    honki yo   sakki mo

For those fan-fic readers who don't know a word of Japanese, it might
help to add the translation... I'm guessing that it won't do to have only
the dedicated Ranma 1/2 fans be able to catch on to your exposition.


I guess that's all... until the next story.

Nangke