I could simply say, 'This was nice', but that wouldn't help as much as
dedicated C&C, so... (although, no one knows more than me how much writers
like to get 'that was nice' messages)
At 08:43 PM 6/3/97 +0800, you wrote:
STARLIGHT
a Ranma ½ fanfic by CBear
All characters are property of Rumiko Takahashi, Viz, etc... I just write
this stuff for fun and because I love Ranma ½ so much. Hope you enjoy it!
Oh... and watch out for the cheese – this one gets rather sticky. C&C are
gladly welcomed.
But... but I like soppy romance fics... just as long as it's not too soppy.
Note: This is a new version. Thanks to Mike Loader boo-boo I made when I
sent in the first story. However, I didn’t really do any major rewrites…
just polished it a little and changed the last part a little just to make
Kasumi more Kasumi-like.
[snip]
Akane closed her eyes and let the familiar sounds of the night wash over
her. From below her she could hear Father and Uncle Saotome loudly playing
shogi and sharing sake – something they did every night. Kasumi's gentle
humming was barely audible as she tidied up the kitchen for the day, and
Akane felt, rather than heard, her sweet, cheerful melody. From Nabiki's
room, the clacking sound of an abacus and the occasional merry jingle of
coins broke the silence.
Just like the stereotypes. I think this'll be enough to satisfy the purists
who point out every little deviation from the characters portrayed in the
anime (or the manga, for the real sticklers).
[snip]
Kasumi sat down on the bed beside her and brushed Akane's hair off her
forehead. "Studying so hard on a Friday night, Akane?" Kasumi asked.
Um... The Japanese school week ends on Saturday, I think. If I'm mistaken,
please point this out before I make a complete fool out of myself.
[snip]
"Have you heard that there's going to be a meteor shower tonight?" Kasumi
asked, putting her head on top of Akane’s. "They said so on the news this
evening… just before eleven. Perfect night for gazing, they said, no clouds
in the sky and there’s a new moon, too. Are you sleepy? It's only an hour
>from now, you might want to stay awake and wait for it."
Hmm. You've been watching Tendo Family Christmas Scramble, haven't you? <g>
[snip]
Akane walked to the window and stuck her head out. The sky was indeed a
clear midnight blue, lit only by thousands and thousands of stars. On their
own, they cast a silver light on the garden and the koi pond below. It
wasn’t too nippy… she could do without a jacket.
Koi means 'carp'. Not just fish. A pond of koi would then mean a pond of
'carp', in the strictest sense.
[snip]
Ranma snorted with suppressed laughter. "Pop? Are you kidding? As far as he
was concerned, mealtimes were for eating, night time was for sleeping, and
everything else in between was time for training. That guy has no
appreciation for the finer things in life."
Akane laughed at this. "As if you do!" she said, between chuckles.
Ranma was oddly silent.
Owwww....
[snip]
All of a sudden, she felt a wall of warmth behind her and two strong hands
upon her shoulders, urging her backwards. "'S okay, Akane, you can lean
against me if you’re cold," Ranma said, his warm breath just above her ear.
Startled, she looked up at him and saw him staring straight ahead and
blushing.
And HERE is where we allow liberties with Ranma's character. The purists
would say Ranma would never make a move like this... at least, not without a
little, uh, squirming. I would have to agree, but... Aw, this is so sweet
I'm more than happy to let it slide.
She looked down, blushing as well, but touched that he had offered. She
leaned back against him and looked back up at the sky. Even tipping her head
back, she fit right under his chin; she felt the beating of his heart right
behind her.
At that moment, the meteor shower began.
Anime is notorious for using 'deus ex machinis'. Here is a prime example.
With just the proper timing.
[snip]
The stars lit the world around them as they moved their lips closer to each
other, feeling each other's sweet breath fan their faces, eyes slowly
drifting close...
Then Akane yawned.
Kuso!!! What lousy timing! How could she yawn at a time like this?
[snip]
"No, Akane, YOU'RE beautiful," he whispered, hunching down beside her as she
slept. He hesitated, looking around guiltily, then brushed a whisper of a
kiss upon her forehead.
Gaaah... ^^; Is this Ranma or Sanzenin? Oh, well, she was asleep, anyway...
[snip]
So that was why no one had bothered them all night...
On the shadowed table, glinting in the starlight, were an unsheathed katana
, a pot of recently-made tea, and three teacups – one less than-half full,
the other two ready for use.
Beside the katana was one of Kasumi's hair ribbon.
Hooray, Kasumi! Atta girl!
Nitpick: 'hair ribbonS'.
"Thanks, Kasumi," he thought, chuckling to himself, filling the unused
teacup and taking it to his own room.
The wind in the trees blew a bit stronger and the leaves rustled louder –
and for a moment Ranma thought that maybe tonight the stars were laughing
with him.
Hmmm. The ending's fine, but could use a little more... uh... whatever they
do with anime endings. A little... um... Aw, heck, an illustration will show
my point more clearly.
---
The wind in the trees blew a little stronger, and the leaves rustled just a
bit louder... Looking out his bedroom window, Ranma thought, for a brief
moment, that tonight, maybe, just maybe, the stars were laughing along with him.
---
Don't trip over the block of cheddar over there. I was just trying to make a
point.
All in all, a really really sweet fic. In a time when ficwriters try to top
each other with more and more characters dying, this is a very refreshing
change. Hope to see more fics from you in the future.
TimeRunner
=====
"Put your money where your foot is!"
TimeRunner's Fics can be found at:
TimeRunner Central
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Towers/7482