At 09:43 PM 5/20/97 -0400, Vermilion wrote:

BUBBLEGUM CRISIS/PREDATOR:
WINDS OF BLOOD
by Vermilion

Not bad ^_^

There was a bit of trouble with tenses at the end you might want to look at.

Warning:  There may be a bit of OOC and it is fairly long.
Also, a concept from my BGC lemon "Confessions" is used here.

I thought large pieces of it were out of character, and they were not lemon
related.  My problems were mainly related to the characterizations when the
main characters started dying.  Reactions seemed to be over way too quickly,
especially after the first couple of deaths.  And at the end of the story,
the lack of reaction to everything that had happened by the 2 people talking
(trying to retain your spoilers here)....  well, the way they acted,
everything might as well have happened to their 43rd cousins or something,
not them and their friends/family/lovers.


Jeanne Hedge
http://www.accsyst.com/jhedge/

Assistant SysOp
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