From: Shazorn <rayburn@cc.UManitoba.CA>

I liked this story. It was a believable history for the Amazons, and the
characters of Shampoo and Cologne were well used to tell it. I'd like to
know a little more about how the unique aspects of these amazons
affected the story: their use of magical items, Jusenkyo, etc. Also,
what about gods? Presumably these Amazons worshipped gods back then, and
since this is the Ranmaverse these gods may well be real. How (if at
all) do they factor into the story? Just a thought.

Now here's a whole bunch of nitpicks on this story:

       "<That not so long ago,>" Shampoo grinned at her from the counter.  
"<Forreal root, our Amazon village go all the way back.>"

For real

your next question, yes, her husband comes into the story.  He was not a man 
of our people, but an outsider, so the marriage may well have been for love.  
His name was Zhongma, and he was a renown fighter."

a renowned fighter, or a fighter of renown.

	"Probably not.  We were a matrichal society then, not yet an Amazon 

matriarchal

one.  We were a peaceful culture, not devoted to fighting and arms.  Unless 
there is some overwhelming reason, matriachal cultures have quieter goals than 

matriarchal

>from all the villages.  The army was skilled at co-ordinated attack and 

defense, not individual combat.  So there was very little trouble with 
mauraders or invaders.  We didn't try to expand our borders or to enrich 

marauders

ourselves at other's expense, those are mens' goals.  The Queen was a master 

others'

of strategy and tactics; her job demanded a warrier rather than a fighter,"  

warrior

	"Our country was bordered by a provence of the empire.  The governer of 

governor

	Zhongma was originally from this provence and returned there for visits 
to his relatives from time to time.  The governer threw parties in his honour, 

governor (and so on throughout)

was proud of what he considered a diplomatic coup and never so much as glanced 
at the paper he signed.  What it really said was that our country was bound to 
-given over to - the empire to do with as it liked."  Colone said grimly.

Cologne

what she did next was right, she didn't take proper precautions.  She and her 
eldest daughters, already being groomed for the succession, took a small 
escort and left immediately for the provencial capitol.  They appear to have 

provincial

left a much chastized Zhongma behind.  
	Now comes the most shameful part of the story.  When Queen Shan Poo and 

Should be a quote mark before Now so we know that Cologne is still
talking.

	"The Queen returned home immediately.  Word had preceeded her and by 

preceded

the time she got back, her army was already in the process of gathering.  In 
the space of a very few days, it swept into the provence leaving a trail of 
destruction behind it.  The Queen used all her warrier skills.  She completely 

warrior

	"But it was Zhongma's pride that caused it all," Shampoo whispered to 
herself.  "Maybe macho pride is a weakness, not a strength.  Maybe real 
strength is supportative, not self willed."

supportive

Shampoo lay in her bed, staring thoughtfully into the dark for a long time.

	"Maybe I have not yet met my husband,"  Shampoo closed her eyes.

"Maybe Shampoo marry Tsubasa!" ;-)

Imperial Rome", in Chapter 12: Nero and his helpers.  I think Tacitus sounds a 
little embarassed by the story in spite of himself.

embarrassed


Gary Kleppe
kleppe@execpc.com, Home page http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe
My fanfics and the FFML map are on my comics/manga page,
       http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe/comics