Here's my c&c for this wacky, wacky fanfic:

	Azusa stood on the top step "O.K. you guys, this is it."
	Azusa wound up and threw her bouquet.

What?! Azusa actually *throwing* something away as kawaii as a bouquet?!
She's doing it too calmly.  A great scene would be if people are forcing
Azusa to throw the bouquet, and it turns into a huge brawl of frantic single
women! (Akane: It's mine! Leggo!  Azusa: No! No! It's mine! Diane! Diane!!!)

	Ryouga looked momentarily confused "Huh?  Um." Kodachi Kissed Akane's hand

"Enchante." Kodachi looked back at Ryouga wearing only a tiger stripped
bandanna and matching briefs

Drool, drool!

"He's a credit to your genius, mistress." Voodoo spike had obviously had

training in kissing ass.(among other things)

	"A triumph of your will."
	Kodachi basked in their adulation's "Yes."
	"He O.K."

And what exactly is Ranma doing amidst all these adulations? Zoning out?

Mouse turned. "WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR?"  "I was just getting started."
	The panda shoved the sign in his face it read "This is strictly a one-song

show."

Ah, now! Detail! Detail! He could be chasing Shampoo around as he 'sings'.
And only a one-song show? Aww, I was hoping to be treated to an oily Ranma
doing pushups while Kodachi croons "I will make you a MAAAAAAANNNNNN!!!"

	Akane had finished with the bandages and was just staring at ranma, with

her hands on his chest,"Oh well" she thought to herself, "I was going to
lose eventully"  she pushed Ranma down into a horizontal position...

Umm...Ranma's not doing much in this fic, is he???  This is the most docile
Ranma I've ever seen. Was this meant to be?

Dr. Tofu started to speak " I knew he was in with a bad crowd, but it was
worse than I imagined...Aliens!"
	Ranma looked up from his plate "Hmm?"

It talks! It finally talks!

To be concluded

Yes, this must be concluded...It's a good story but I think a little more
Ranma 1/2 zaniness could be injected into it (What, more? Yes, more!).  And
what's with Ranma being a malleable zombie? It's not Ranma if he stands
there like some puppet.  And songs!  More songs!
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/===\     LaShawn M. Taylor (shonnie@zeus.anet-chi.com) 
|^ ^|\    "Hey! Where's the cream filling?!" -Hostess cupcake commercial
 \v/\|    "Life is such unutterable hell, solely because it is sometimes
    |\    beautiful..." -T.H. White "The Troll"
    \|    "You come with steam of breath and caligula's head
	  To me so lonesome and longing and so unsatisfied
	  Even with all this beauty flooding deep into my eyes."
				-Poi Dog Pondering
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