Subject: [Ranma] [Fanfic] It's Been One Of Those Lives (Or, While You Were , Sleeping) Ch.1
From: Kevin Eav
Date: 5/23/1997, 1:35 AM
To: fanfic@fanfic.com


Yes, I know, long title.  Extremely.  :)
And yes, I know, another new project.  That's okay; I've lost all my old
ones, and only have backups of three or four, so will be starting over
from scratch.  

I'm not entirely happy with the ending of this first chapter, but I can't
think of anything better.... and I'm unhappy with the title.. but here it
is.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
"It's Been One of Those Lives (or, While You Were Sleeping)"

by Kevin Eav

Disclaimer:None of the characters depicted within are owned by myself.  
Ranma 1/2 and all related characters are copyright Shogakukan, Kitty TV,
and, of course, Takahashi-sama herself.  I just play around with them.

As always, <> indicates thoughts, ** indicates sound as action, --
indicates emphasis, and, in this case, [] indicates a voice-over, or
scene/time change (voice-overs have characters associated with them :)

      Chapter 1

      "Ranma, wait!  You come take Shampoo on date!"

      "Ran-chan, hold up!  We were supposed to study tonight, remember?"

      "O~hohohohohohohoho!  Sorry, girls, but Ranma-sama is mine
tonight!"

[Ranma-chan: Quite formidable, isn't it?  Not quite a man and four women
after him already.  Oh, I forgot to introduce myself.  I'm Ranma Saotome,
and this is my life.  *ahem*  Now, where were we?  Oh, right.  Four, you
say?  But there are only three there.  Just wait.  This should be fun.]

      "RANMA!!!!!"

      *WHAM* *CRASH* *THUD*

      "You idiot!!"

[Ranma-chan: Ow.. I remember that one.  That's Tendou Akane, the fourth
one.  The other three are, in order, Shampoo, Kuonji Ukyou, and Kunou
Kodachi.  I live with the Tendous--that is, me and my old man do.  If
this gets too complicated, just let me know and I'll -try- to explain.
Oops, back to the action.]

      Sporting several large lumps, Ranma groaned and twitched slightly
as Akane dragged him home, amidst the various threats of violence to both
her and to Ranma's person.  They were, of course, greeted at the door by
Kasumi.

[Ranma-chan: Just a quick note here: Kasumi is the eldest daughter and
surrogate mom.  Really nice... but we're never quite sure if she's
plotting world conquest or counting the number of water drops in the
clouds.  We figure it's safer that way.]

      "Tadaima!" (I'm home!)

      "Welcome back, Akane-kun... oh, I see you brought Ranma home,
too... you're just in time for dinner."

      Akane dropped Ranma just inside the doorway.  "Great!  Just let me
wash up and I'll be right there."

      Kasumi paused, a look of concern on her face.  "But what about
Ranma-kun?"

      This earned a fierce scowl from Akane.  "That jerk?  He'll wake up
soon enough."

[Ranma-chan: She and I are more alike than either of us are willing to
admit... I guess that's why it was easier to--oops!  Getting ahead of
myself.  You'll see what I mean later.]

      [Later that night...]

      "AAAAA!  Why won't this stupid calculator work?!?!?"

      Akane smirked.  "Did you try turning it on first?"

      Grumbling, Ranma found the power switch, noted its 'off'
positioning, and corrected it.  "I don't know what I need to take
chemistry for anyways.  It's not like I'll ever use it."

      "True, but the school wants you to be a well-rounded individual,
not just some macho martial artist who can't do anything else."

      "Macho?  You're a fine one to talk about macho."

      "What's that supposed to mean??"

      "Oh, come -ON-, Akane!  You're built like a brick, you've got the
strength of a gorilla, and you're--*URK*"

[Ranma-chan: Sound familiar?  Sure it does.  Akane and I went through
this for a long time.  Got to almost be comforting.  Almost.]

      "Ranma, you're such a JERK!"  Akane stomped off to her own room,
slamming the door hard enough to offset the hinges.  After recovering
from the impact of fist on cheek, Ranma returned to making a
barely-presentable chemistry homework assignment, muttering things about
unsexy, macho, too-strong chicks.  About halfway through, Nabiki knocked
on the door.

[Ranma-chan: Oooh.. Nabiki.  You couldn't -pay- me to trust her, although
I'm sure she could make you pay *her* to trust her.  I understand that
one time, she out-bargained the Devil himself.  I believe it.]

      "Oh, Ranma!"  Nabiki's voice took on that too-sweet tone that he'd
immediately learned to recognize as dangerous.  

      "What is it, Nabiki?"

      The up-and-coming young blackmailer--I mean entrepreneur--waltzed
in and sat on the closest available thing, Ranma's bed.  

      "Have -I- got a deal for you, Ranma-kun."

      <Oh, no...>  "What is it?"

[Ranma-chan: "Oh, no..." indeed.  Those famous last words:"Have I got a
deal for you."  Oh, you'll see what I mean.]

      "I've just found out about a cure for the Jyusenkyou springs!"
      Immediately even warier, Ranma frowned.  "It's not that portable
packet of Nannichuan, is it?  Or the water from the Togenkyou island?  Or
some pressure point which'll make me unable to feel cold?  Or some map to
the Tibetan Nannichuan spring?"

      Nabiki laughed, in a light, and unconvincingly innocent, manner.
"No, no, it's none of those things." 

      "What is it, then?"  

      "Tsk-tsk, Ranma-kun.  You know the drill."

      Sighing, Ranma handed over 500 yen.  "That's all I have."

      Nabiki smoothly added the bills to her money clip.  "I know, Ranma,
I know.  Anyways... if you want to know... ask Happousai."

[Ranma-chan: Sneaky trick, huh?  "Ask Happousai."  I should have seen it
coming, but I'm not really renowned for my quick thinking.]

      You could have pushed Ranma over with a feather.  "Ask Happousai?
I paid to hear you say that??"
      
      "Ta-ta, Ranma.  Have fun finding the cure."  Laughing, Nabiki
walked out of Ranma's room and bumped into Akane.

      "Oh, hi, oneechan.  What did you con Ranma with this time?"

      Nabiki smiled.  "Hi, Akane-chan.  Oh, just another fake cure.  It
won't pan out, of course."

      Akane nodded.  "Of course not.  Well, oyasumi."

      "Oyasumi nasai, Akane-chan."
      
      As they parted ways, Ranma zoomed out of his room and sped around
the corner, knocking Akane off-balance.  Her shouted "HEY!" was cut off
quickly.

      "If jiji's got a cure, I've gotta go get it from him!  Seeya later,
Akane!  I gotta catch him before he goes out on another nighttime panty
raid."  With that, the young man was gone.  Shrugging at each other,
Nabiki and Akane retired to their rooms.

      Three knocks later...

[Ranma-chan: I'd just like to state, for the record, that I am an IDIOT!
... And on with the story.]

      "Oh, well, it's Ranma!  What can I do for you, my boy?"

      Ranma marched into the room, a tense, impatient look on his face.
"The cure for the Jyusenkyou springs... where is it?"

      Happousai nodded slowly, as if fully expecting this day to come.
He puffed his pipe, "Well, my boy, it's true that there is a cure for the
curse of Jyusenkyou and that I have it.  But I cannot let you have it."

      Ranma was well and truly indignant.  "WHAT? WHY NOT?"

      "Well, you see, it's very dangerous... and very complicated.  It's
not for the likes of you."

      Ranma scowled.  "Come off it, old man, you just don't want me to
lose my female side!!"

[Ranma-chan: Me, of course.  He wanted to get rid of me.  But, I always
knew that, so it didn't bother me too much... I didn't expect whatever he
had to work anyways.  It's always like that, especially with the old man;
all hot air and no substance at all.]

      Happousai considered for a moment.  "That's true, too."  *SPLASH*
"Ranma-chan, my sweet, let an old man rest in your arms!"  Happousai
leapt at Ranma with all the grace of a flying monkey.

      *POW*  "AAA!  Get away from me you old pervert!!!"

[Ranma-kun: Alright.  My turn at bat for a while.  You'll be seeing much
more of the girl me, though.  Now, the problem is, I couldn't ever get
the old man to listen when I was like this, so I had to go get some hot
water.  Aah, here we are.  I'll see you folks later.]

      After Happousai had returned (and Ranma returned to male form,) he
tried again.  "Alright, old man.  Where's the cure?"

      Happousai sighed.  "Ranma, you're too much for me.  Alright, here's
the cure."  The old master handed Ranma a small jar.  "In this is a
magical oil, that will cure your curse."  

      Ranma eyed it warily, then took it and ran up to his room.

[Ranma-chan: Hi, it's me again.  I know I'm interrupting too much, but
I'd just like to note that I was zero for something like five.  I was
wary... wouldn't you be?  I never expected it to -work-...]

      That night, Ranma smeared the oil over his forehead and arms and
went to sleep.  His dad, in panda form, slept about ten feet away.
Ranma's sleep was fitful, plagued by strange dreams.

[Ranma-chan: Okay.  Before we go ahead and show the dream sequence, as
such, understand that this was the effect of the oil at work.  Yes, it
actually worked... imagine my surprise.  Now, on to the dream.]

      Ranma stood in front of Furinkan High, preparing to face off
against Kunou for the first time.  This time, however, he was not
defending Akane, but Ranma-chan.  After Kunou's quick defeat, he and
Ranma took a stroll around the school.  

      "Y'know, it won't be the same with you gone."  This was
Ranma-otoko, leading slightly as they picked their way through the
abandoned Kendo Club's room.  
      
      Onna-Ranma nodded, "But... this is what you've always wanted,
right?  It's happening right now.  See?"  She held up a faintly fading
hand.  

      "Huh?  Oh, yeah.  Yeah.  What I've always wanted, right?  Still,
I'll miss you... if only for the free food."  Both Ranmas laughed, at
that, their stomachs reminding them that they were both hungry.  They
walked through the door of their homeroom classroom and ended up in their
favorite ice cream shop, the one that Shampoo wrecked when she came to
Nerima. 

      Ranma-otoko sighed.  "I can't eat any of this, it's not 'manly'."
Laughing, onna-Ranma ordered a huge banana split.  

      "Oh, come on, this is a dream.  You can do whatever you like."
Saying this, onna-Ranma took a big bite of her split, grinning hugely.

      "Yeah, you're right.  I'll have what she's having," Ranma-otoko
said as he sat down.  Right quick, a second split was delivered to the
table.  The pair munched quietly for a few moments.

      "So, Ranma.  What do you think is the first thing you'll do when
you wake up and find your curse gone?"  
      
      "I'm not sure.  Jump for joy?  Take a cold shower?  Throw a party?
Something like that, I guess.  What about you?"

      Onna-Ranma considered.  "Not sure.  The curses have never been
broken except by death before, at least not temporarily... oh, hey, I'm
fading more... time's almost up.  Anyways, I guess I'll go back to the
Spring of Drowned Girl, and wait for the next recipient."

      A laugh.  "Don't you mean victim?"
      
      "Nah.  Recipient.  We never curse people without them needing it,
you know.  I'm almost gone; time's up.  Get ready to wake up to your new
life, Ranma."

      The pair stood up and hugged each other.   As onna-Ranma finally
faded away, Ranma-otoko whispered, "I'll miss you..."

[Ranma-chan: There.  That wasn't so bad, was it?]

      And Ranma woke up.

      Naturally, the first thing he did was run downstairs and pour some
cold water over himself.  Nothing.  He did it again.  Nothing.  Joyfully,
he poured the cold water over himself again and again until it was plain
to see that his curse was gone.  His shouts of joy woke the entire
household.  "YAHOO!!!!!"  

      Kasumi, Nabiki, Akane, Soun, Happousai, and Genma all rushed down
to see what the commotion was all about.  What they found was a dripping
wet, shivering, beaming Ranma-kun sitting in the middle of the bathroom.
Akane marched over.  "RANMA!  What are you doing??"  She picked up the
bucket and made to smack him over the head with it, then poured it out so
as not to douse herself when she tried.  A bit of it splashed onto her
foot.  "Why... this is freezing cold!!  Wait... freezing... cold?"  She
touched Ranma's head.  Cold water.

      Ranma grinned like a Cheshire Cat, "It's gone!!  My curse is
gone!!"

      Of course, at that moment, the rest of Nerima dropped in.  Ryouga
was first, crashing through the wall.  "RANMA!!"

      Shampoo, Cologne, and Mousse were next.  "NIHAO, Ranma!  You take
Shampoo on date!"

      "Hel-lo, what do we have here?"

      "Shampoo, why won't you date -me-?  OOF!"

      Ukyou walked in next.  "Ran-chan!  What's all this commotion
about?"

      About this time, Mousse peeled himself from the wall and pulled his
glasses on.  "Ranma?  Why are you all wet?"

      Before Ranma could respond, Shampoo performed her Ancient Chinese
Technique--Happy-GLOMP--and grappled onto Ranma with more strength even
an angry Shinobu could accomplish.  This, of course, got her wet.  

      *MEOW*!

[Ranma-chan: I'd just like to insert something here.... *shiver*  She's
scary... I'm just not sure whether she's scarier as a girl or as a cat.
But she does have a body that just won't quit.]

      Ranma's ailurophobia(1) kicked in.  "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA*SLAM*!!"

      Akane ripped Ranma from the wall, and ripped Shampoo-neko from
Ranma's face.  After tossing the kitty to the old crone they knew as
Cologne, the young Tendou took a glass of cold water and splashed Ranma
with it to wake him up.

      "Wha--?  Oh, hi, Akane, everybody."

      "Oh, hi, Akane?  Is that all you can say?"

      Ryouga piped up.  "Yeah, Ranma!! You've got a lot of explaining to
do!!"

      Still grinning like an idiot, Ranma said, "Okay, okay!! See, it's
like this..."

      An hour later, after finishing his story, Ryouga collared Ranma,
with Mousse, Shampoo, and Genma trailing -right- behind them.  "We need
to have a little talk with him."

[Ranma-chan: He thinks he's rid of me.  Yeah, right!  He only wishes he
was... or so he thinks.]

      The Jyusenkyouites, as a group, demanded the rest of the oil.
Ranma made nervous noises and mumbled.  "There was only enough for one
person."

      "What was that, my boy?  Speak up!"

      "I said, there was only enough for one person."

      Genma immediately slammed Ranma upside the head.  "You fool!!  You
should have given it to your poor, deserving father.

      Ranma laughed.  "Yeah right, oyaji!!  Like you ever did anything
deserving in your life."

      "Still and all, it's too bad there was only enough for you.  But
I'm not gonna hold a grudge.  I'm just..."  *SLAM* *BOFF* *CRUNCH*

      "... gonna beat ya up a little, is all."

      Eventually, after Ranma had produced the jar as evidence that there
wasn't any more, the spectators left.  Well, Mousse, Shampoo, and the
rest left.  Ryouga got lost trying to find Ranma to dole out more
punishment for being greedy.

      After a nice, quiet lunch (a rarity in and of itself in Nerima,
especially at the Tendou Dojo,) Ranma sat on the porch overlooking the
backyard and carp pond and, uncharacteristically of him, brooded.

[Ranma-chan: *gasp*  Ranma has a sensitive side?  Wow!  No, really.
Yeah, I had thoughtful times... and this was certainly one of them.  I
wish I knew what I was thinking then.]

      Akane joined him, out on the porch.  "So, it really worked, huh."

      "Yeah."

      "That's good, isn't it?"

      "Yeah.  I guess.  It's kinda strange, I got used to my female half
after a while."

[Ranma-chan: You bet he did.  It's too bad he and I could only really
meet in dreams.  We'd've been great buddies... well, are great buddies.]

      "I think almost everyone did.  The guys at school are sure going to
be disappointed."

      "Let 'em be.  Hiroshi and Daisuke are nice and all, but that's just
sick.  Wanting a friend when he's a girl."

      "And no more Kunou-sempai after 'the pig-tailed goddess'.  Once he
finds out.  He'll be after me in force, though.  I'd better pack a big
stick for Monday."

      "Yeah.  And Shampoo, I dunno what she's gonna do.  Probably dog me
day and night now... well, okay, that's not gonna change."

      Akane leaned over and punched Ranma lightly in the arm.  "What's
wrong?  You should be happy."

      "I am.  It's just... I get the feeling that things aren't over yet
with that curse."

[Ranma-chan: Boy, did he ever have it right there.]

      "Well, you don't change in water anymore, do you?  What about
sneezing?  Coughing?  Eating soy sauce?"  Akane received an odd glance
from Ranma at that last one, and they both broke out laughing.  
      
      "No, no, no and most definitely no.  I dunno.  I guess it's just
the shock."  Ranma paused.  "I'm gonna go take a nap."

      "Okay.  See you later."

      With that, Ranma got up and went to his room.

[Ranma-chan: Okay, okay, okay, time for me to get to speak.  See, what
happened was, that oil?  It separated me from him.  Just like when
someone who's been cursed dies.  This time, though, I didn't get sent
back to the pool, like I had before.  I was floating around the
household, just like a ghost.  Mostly, I hung around Ranma, since he was
the one I was closest to, and all.  That was definitely scheduled for a
change, though... oh... you'll see.  Just watch.]

      Akane yawned, and decided that to combat her sleepiness, she'd take
a quick bath.  After picking out some lighter clothes, she took herself
off to the bathroom and took her shower.

[Ranma-chan: See, since Ranma was asleep, I decided to follow Akane
around for a bit.  Dunno why, really, just instinct.]

      Toweling off in front of the mirror, Akane wiped a corner of the
mirror off and was shocked to see a familiar color of red behind her.

[Ranma-chan: Yep, that was me.  Guess we lost curses are visible in smoke
or steam through a mirror.  Strange, that.  Anyways.]

      Akane whirled around, feeling something cold pass through her...
and saw nothing.

[Ranma-chan: Me again.  I dove 'through' her so that she wouldn't see
me.. except I kinda got stuck inside her.  I guess the curse had decided
that I'd host inside her new body until someone came along and claimed me
from the pool.  Since she was a girl already, though, I couldn't be
activated by cold water.  It's a little strange--okay, a lot strange.
What happened, exactly, will become more clear later.]

      "Hmmm... strange.  I guess I was just seeing things," said Akane as
she dressed.  It was still hot, so she went out and got ice cream,
bumping into Yuka and Sayuri and giving them the hot news.  They were as
shocked as anyone else, grinning madly and making plans to drop the bomb
on Hiroshi and Daisuke in as devastating a way as possible.  Then the
three went shopping, Akane leaving when the sun was about to set, to get
home for dinner.  "Bai, Yuka, Sayuri... see you Monday!"  

      By this time, Ranma had woken up, and gone, as usual, to practice
his kenpo in the dojo.  Akane went to call him to dinner. 

      "Ranma!  Kasumi's got dinner waiting on the table!  C'mon, or your
dad's not gonna leave any for us."  Ranma nodded, finished his kata
quickly, and the two arrived at the dinner table without much incident.
Kasumi's meal was, as usual, extremely delicious, and Ranma and Akane
waged a secret war for the last piece.  Surprising everyone at the table,
Akane won, popping the last piece of dim sum in her mouth triumphantly.

[Ranma-chan: That was my doing.  I guess I couldn't just exist in her
body; I'd also affect her much in the same way I affected Ranma... as she
and I started to mesh, she'd take on some of the physical qualities I
brought to my host, and some of the spiritual and emotional qualities as
well, and some of the knowledge I'd gained when I was dominant in Ranma's
body.]

      After dinner, Akane went to do her homework for Monday, while Ranma
sat and watched TV.  He couldn't shake the feeling that something wasn't
quite right, but as he seemed to be the only one feeling that way, he let
it go and went to go to sleep.

[Ranma-chan: Now, as I'd said before, I was starting to mesh with Akane.
Not necessarily by choice, but I didn't mind overly much.  Ranma, I
understand, didn't have any dreams that night, but I know Akane did.]

      Akane blinked.  If she recalled correctly, this was the same day
that she met Ranma for the very first time.  Otousan, Nabiki-oneechan and
Kasumi-oneechan were nowhere to be found, though.  Just then, Ranma-chan
walked through the door, closing a wet umbrella and shaking her hair out
a little.  "Hi, Akane-chan."

      "Ranma-chan..."  <How do I know that name, if this is the first
time I've ever met her?>  

      Ranma-chan shook her head.  "This isn't the first time, nor the
last.  I'd explain, but this is too complicated for me to put into words,
and I don't have the knowledge to show you, yet."

      Akane gave a little start. "H-how did you know what I was
thinking?"

      "This is a dream, silly.  Of course I know what you're thinking.
You won't remember what this all means, of course, when you wake up, but
that's okay, probably.  You'll have enough to deal with."

      A flash of understanding gave way to an incredulous, almost
disbelieving fear.  "No way.  You mean you--and I--?"

      Ranma-chan confirmed the unspoken, unfinished thought.  "Yep.
Happousai's 'cure' worked, but only sort of.  Typical, huh?"

      "-I'll- say.  So what happens now?"

      "Your guess is as good as mine.  Oops, it's almost time for you to
get up--I should go and give you enough time to forget this dream."

      With that, the redhead vanished, and Akane's dream faded into a
grey unreality.  She woke up feeling slightly disoriented... as if
something had changed, but she wasn't sure what.  She mentally shrugged
it off, and got ready for school, making sure to awaken Ranma too.

      The school day was pretty typical, if you can call it that, with
Hinako-sensei punishing a couple of miscreants, Kunou-kouchou shaving a
couple more, and the like.  Kunou, of course, challenged Ranma, and lost.
He made it back out of low Earth orbit in time for third period
Economics.

      All went well until P.E., during which Sayuri noted (with Ranma in
earshot) that Akane seemed a bit shorter.  Ranma heard, of course, and
immediately agreed.  To Akane's distress, she measured out at a
quarter-inch shorter.

[Ranma-chan: My doing, or rather, the curse's doing, of course.  If Akane
remembered the dream, things would have been a lot worse.]

      By the time people were done being beaten by the newly-shortened
Akane (mostly Ranma, but also Kunou,) it was time to go home.  So Ranma
ran along the fencetop, as usual.  Akane followed along the ground.

      Conversation was sparse; Ranma seemed much more thoughtful, almost
brooding, than ever before.  "Wonder why you got shorter."

      "Yeah, me too.  Hasn't ever happened before."

      "Nope."

      And that was pretty much it.  Ranma was still coming to grips with
the fact that he was no longer cursed.  They passed by the ice cream
shop, and Ranma's face took on a wistful, almost-remembering look.  

      "Ranma?"

      Ranma shook his head.  "Oh, nothing... just remembering a strange
dream... I think.  It's still fuzzy."

      "Oh.  Okay."

      Eventually, they reached home.  No one at the dojo seemed to notice
that Akane had gotten a bit shorter, and Ranma and Akane didn't feel like
making much of a stir.  Tomorrow, they'd go to Tofu-sensei.

[Ranma-chan: Time for another dream.  You'll probably be seeing less and
less of me as I mesh with Akane, though I'll pop up from time to time.
Sorta like a bad penny, y'know?]

      Ranma-chan and Akane bumped into each other at the fair.  Akane had
just won a big stuffed raccoon, which she loved and intended to use to
sleep tonight, since her beloved P-Chan was missing.  Again.  It was sort
of uncanny, but that's life.  Ranma-chan had just finished showing the
goldfish vendor the power of the Kachuu Tenshin Amaguriken, and, to
Akane's surprise, was handing out bags of the little fish to passing
children.  A tap on the shoulder got the red-head's attention.

      "Passing the fish out?  This is so unlike you."

      "You're right.  I must be absorbing some of your kindness in
return."  Ranma bent and patted a smiling kid on the head, then
straightened.  "Plus, it's something I'd never do in the waking world.
Too bad, really... it feels good to be nice, but..."
      
      "... But?"

      "Well, you know how it is.  Ranma--that is, the full and complete
Ranma--would never do this, no matter how much he wanted to.  It doesn't
fit his idea of the 'strong' man."

      "I guess not, no... but his idea is pretty warped, I think."

      "I know it is.  My job was to try and educate him, to unwarp his
state of mind.  Happousai screwed that up.  So now I don't know what I'm
supposed to do.  Oh, by the way.  We're speeding up; tomorrow you'll have
as much agility, grace and speed as I ever did as Ranma's female side.
Well, not quite... your strength will still be your greatest asset, but
you know what I mean."

      A grin grew on Akane's face.  "I think I'm going to like this."

      "Yes, but Ranma may not... I don't know.  You know how he's got to
be the best in everything."

      "True.  Hmm... well, it'll work out.  It always seems to, somehow."

      "Yeah.  Well, time for me to go... be prepared for a surprise."

      "A surprise?"

      "Yeah, when you wake up.  Bai!"

      Ranma strolled off, leaving Akane a bit puzzled.

[Ranma-chan: If this all seems implausible to you, just remember, you're
dealing with a former boy/girl and his curse(d) father.  -Nothing- is too
strange after that; I speak from experience.]

      At breakfast, Akane kept squirming slightly, a slight frown on her
face.  Ranma noticed.

      "What's wrong, Akane?"

      "Something about my clothes... I'm not sure."

      Ranma hmmmmed, then grinned and gave the victory 'v'.  "I know.
Your clothes shrunk in the wash again."

      *bap*  "Try again, baka."

      "Ow!"  Ranma rubbed his head.  "It's a perfectly legitimate
theory."

      "My clothes did -not- shrink... I must've gotten bigger...!"

      Dimly, Akane heard Ranma-chan's voice.  <Be prepared for a
surprise...>

      "So -that's- what she meant..."  muttered a disgruntled Akane, low
enough that only Ranma heard, and then only vaguely.

      "She who?" inquired a still-eating Ranma.

      "Huh?  Oh, nevermind.., c'mon, we'll be late if we don't hurry."

      Ranma and Akane rushed out of the dojo, Ranma hopping onto the
fence as usual.  This time, on a whim, Akane tried to follow, and grinned
at the gape-mouthed Ranma when she kept up easily.

      When they reached school, Ranma and Akane hurried into class,
almost late.  The school day was too packed for Ranma to ask any
questions until lunchtime, so he made plans with Akane for lunch, making
sure to leave -her- gape-mouthed, this time.

      At lunch, the two picked a quiet tree and sat underneath, munching
their Kasumi-made bentos.  "So, uh, Akane..." began Ranma.

      "Yeah, Ranma?"  This through a mouthful of rice.

      "When did you, uh, that is, I thought you were too gorilla-like to
be running on fences like me."

      *thump*  "I am not gorilla-like."

      "Ow!  Okay, okay, but you've never done it before, how'd you pull
it off today?"

      "I dunno.  It was neat, though... kinda like flying without leaving
the ground."

      Ranma nodded non-commitally, then grinned suddenly.

      Akane eyed Ranma's grin with suspicion.  "What is it?"

      "Oh, nothing.  Just glad that someone else knows why I run on the
fences."

      This took a moment to sink in, and after it did, Akane looked away.
"Well, it is a really awesome feeling."

      "Mmhmm.  Boy, this food is great."

      This time it was Akane's turn to grin.  "You expected something
else?"

      "Well, if you had been cooking..."

      *thump*  "We don't need to go there today, Ranma."

      "Ow!  Okay, okay."

      The two shared a companionable silence, without interruptions, as
rare as that is.  After lunch, Akane commented on the lack of
interruption, and Ranma said that it was probably because Shampoo and
Mousse were out looking for that oil, and Kunou was still recovering from
that morning.

      After school, Ranma and Akane ran home--both on the fence.

[Ranma-chan: Guess what? ...  No dream sequence this time.]

      [The next morning...]

      Ranma gaped.  Nabiki gaped.  Genma and Soun both gaped, then wept
for joy.   

      Kasumi walked around, serving more tea.  <Maa.. everyone must be
hot, they're panting.>

      Akane looked down at herself.  "Uh.. I.. uh..."

      Nabiki hmmmed.  "Been making secret visits to the doctor on Park
and 73rd, Akane-chan?"

      "NO!!"  Akane fired off a 12-gauge glare at Nabiki, then slapped
Ranma.  "Hentai!"

      "OW!!"  Ranma recoiled into the wall, but didn't go through.
"What?! What?!  I wasn't starin', geez!"

      Not that he wouldn't be right in staring.  For Akane had undergone
a very strange transformation...

      Shorter, smaller, with softer features, and a bigger.. um... well,
more bountiful chest, Akane looked almost like the spitting image of
Ranma-chan, save for her blue-black hair.

      Ranma fainted dead away.

(1) For those of you unfamiliar with this word, ailurophobia is a fear of
cats.