On Thu, 15 May 1997 02:40:26 -0400 (EDT), you wrote:

*WARNING* _Horrible_ metaphors ahead ;)

<Snip really BAAAAADDD Buler-Lytton>

That's it. The story ACTUALLY sounds interesting if you exclude all those damn
metaphors ;)


-OneShot

OneShot, OneShot, OneShot.  Those weren't metaphors.  Those were
SIMILIES!!!!  Metaphors make comparisons by stating that one thing is
another (The road is a grey ribbon wrapped around the mountain.) while
similes use 'like' or 'as ... as' to make the comparison (The road is like a
grey ribbon wrapped around the mountain.).  In retrospect, I can't seem to
find one metaphor in that entry, and although there certainly were enough
similies, I noted a distinct lack of personifications.

Oops. My bad ^_^
I got those two mixed up.	I guess ONE workd pretty much spoiled the entire
'fic, ne? I guess because of my error, you were lookin' for the metaphors...oh
well, maybe next time^_^

Thanks for the advice. These are the constructive criticisms I like :)


-OneShot
Jeffrey Keith Wong: oneshot@ascensionet.com
If you're interested in reading all my fanfics, check:
http://www.rit.edu/~jkw7063/fanfic/index.htm 
http://www.ascensionet.com/oneshot/index.htm
The latter site has been updated on May 9, 1997
"There are two types of roses in this world: One is 
where you stop to smell. The other is reading this"