Subject: [Ranma][spamfic]A Dose Of Common Sense
From: Emily Siazon
Date: 5/15/1997, 9:21 PM
To: fanfic@fanfic.com

"A DOSE OF COMMON SENSE"
A spamfic written by Emily Siazon while suffering from a major sugar high.
Definitely NOT something to be taken seriously.
All characters are owned by Rumiko Takahashi.
< > are thoughts
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     Ranma whistled as he slowly made his way around the market. He was
out buying vegetables for dinner and was in a very good mood. He couldn't
explain why, though. The day had been typical enough, he had been in a
fight or two and had of course won, just like always.
 
     As he continued to mull over the cause of his good mood, a new,
mysterious looking shop managed to catch his attention.
 
     Curious, he entered the store, knowing that he had a lot of time
before he was expected to return home.

     The shop, he found out after a quick glance, was an antique store
specializing in odd trinkets.

     For some reason he could not fathom, He found himself drawn
towards a golden gravy boat. He stared at it in confusion, trying to
understand why it entranced him so. It was certainly unusual, but there
was nothing spectacular about it.

     His inner voices urged him to buy the thing, but for some reason, it
sounded a bit odd to him, almost as if it wasn't him at all.

     He quickly turned around and found himself face to face with a
scrawny old man who was chanting for him to buy it only seconds ago.

     "What kind of sales tactic is that?" Ranma demanded.

     "Hush. What you hold in your hand holds a great amount of power."
The old man replied. "The magic lamp grants the person it chooses as its
master one wish. And it has chosen you."

     "Any wish?" He asked with interest.

     "Any wish."

     "I'll take it."

     "All right. But first you'll have to pay for..." The old man stopped
speaking as he noticed that Ranma was already long gone.

                                  * * *

     Ranma could barely contain his excitement as he ran home and quickly
headed towards the empty dojo.

     He stared at the curiosity for awhile, trying to figure out how he
was supposed to make his wish. He already knew, the moment he had bought
it just what he wanted.

     "Never gonna be a girl again!" He sang as he danced around the room
in glee.

     During his dance, he accidentally dropped the magic lamp which gave
off an annoyed hiss. He stared at it in disbelief as smoke started to
come out of it and turned into a short, plump woman drinking a big bottle
of sake.

     Ranma stared at the strange woman in shock. "A lush just popped out
of the gravy boat!"

     "My house ain't a gravy *hic* boat!" The annoyed woman yelled as she
hit him on the head with her bottle.

     "Ack! Sorry! Can I make my wish now?"

     "I guess so." She grumbled. "You better *hic* make it quick. I have
a *hic* party to get back to you know."

     Ranma looked smug as he said, "Fortunately I've read every story
posted on the RAAC or I'd wish for something stupid like I wish I'd never
turned to a girl.But since we _all_ know what happens if I do that, I'm
gonna be smart and wish for a bottle of naniichuan water instead."

     "Whatever." The genie replied as the room was brieftly bathed with a
bright flash of light.

     When Ranma came back to his senses, he found a bottle of the water in
front of him. He quickly poured the liquid on himself and ran towards the
pond and jumped in.

     He started to laugh out loud as he noticed that his hair was still
black and that he still had the all the right parts.

     His laughter caught the attention of everyone in the house and they
quickly ran out the house to find Ranma pouring water over his head every
couple of seconds.

     They stared at him warily for a couple of seconds, thinking he had
finally lost it before Akane figured out what was making him so happy.

     "You're cured!" She exclaimed as she hugged the sopping wet Ranma,
not even caring that their fathers were watching.

     "How?" Genma asked his ecstatic son.

     "I made a wish on a gravy..." He didn't get to finish as a bottle of
sake fell on his head. "I mean magic lamp for some man water."

     "Great! Where's the rest?"

     "Um...the rest?"

     Suddenly, all the Jusenkyo cursed males appeared on the Tendo's
backyard.

     "WHAT!?" They all screamed as they grabbed Ranma by his shirt collar.
"You mean you only wished for one bottle!?"

     "Uh...yeah."

     "Die, Ranma!" The cursed males cried out in perfect unison once again 
as they pummeled Ranma to the ground.

     <Maybe I'm not so smart after all.> Was Ranma's last thought before 
he lost consciousness.

                                 THE END
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AUTHORS NOTES:
       Yep. Yet another story from me that doesn't have a point. Oh well,
I had fun writing it.
       It popped in my head after I finally had the time to read "Careful
Destiny" which I happen to like a lot. I guess you can call this fic my
twisted way of showing how much I liked the story ^_^
       Send all comments and criticism to <emily9@bellatlantic.net>