On Tue, 13 May 1997, David Bateson wrote:
On Mon, 12 May 1997, Anthony Woo wrote:
On Mon, 12 May 1997, Chan Wei Lik wrote:
This fanfic was supposed to be a "Yohko gets thrown into Ranma type
insanity" fic. It decided to take a slightly darker turn near the end
of part 1. It may or may not stay that way I'm not sure yet.<<
Nodoka is being shortsighted in looking for a solution. She could
pass the legacy to her GRANDdaugther. Also, Ranma IS a girl half the
time anyway...
That's true but she wants Ranma to marry into a demon hunter bloodline to
insure that it stays strong. Also she doesn't see Ranma as a female which
cuts him out of the running, at least in _her_ mind.
The problem is that Nodoka swings around far too abruptly, and without
any real idea of what Yohko is like. She's known Yohko for... how long
does it take a cab to reach the Dojo from the station?
She considers it a part of her duty as a Demon Hunter to have an heir. As
she has no female children she wants to keep the line strong by having
Ranma marry into a Demon Hunter family. Anyway since when has not knowing
the fiancee stoped anyone before? (OK so she's not Genma but her honor
and duty are at least as strong as Genma's greed and stupidity)
And given the hints you've been dropping I suspect that the Tendo's are
the 3rd Demon Humter family you mentioned in the last version. And
Nodoka should know about the 3rd family, even if only by reputation.
Nodoka would only know the 3rd family by its family name. That name is
not Tendo. She knows it by reputation but doesn't know its current name.
Heck it might even be Kuno ;)
If you really want to have Yohko end up engaged to Ranma, work it like
this: Nodoka said that a Yohko-Ranma engagement was considered but that
Yohko probably doesn't know about it. Change that so that Yohko does
know about it, in fact Yohko can be carrying a letter from her
grandmother Madoka asking for the engagement to be carried out, after all
Madoka is known to want Grandchildren. Yohko should know what is in the
letter and be reluctant to bring it up (perhaps planning to forget about
it initially), but with her attraction to Ranma growing...
Some scene in the dojo, perhaps with a Ranma-Akane fight, and Yohko can
feel justified about throwing her hat into the ring for Ranma. Show
NOdoka thinking what she does now, but hold back from having her just
unilaterally decide Ranma's life, however when Yohko makes her move and
everyone else throws a fit over it, Nodoka can back Yohko's claim. The
way it stands now Nodoka is jarringly inconsistent, particularly since
you have done nothing to establish that Demon Hunting is important to her.
Even if you don't like this idea, I'd recommend altering Ranma's responce
to his mothers ultimatum. Icy politeness and a total refusal to
co-operate would work better (IMHO) than the profanity you use. Ranma is
a little foul-mouthed, but not to women normally. Besides in Japanese
culture total icy formality is commonly used to show extreme anger.
It looks like I'm gonna be doing some major fiddling with this fic.
Thanx for the C & C
AJ