On Mon, 12 May 1997, Anthony Woo wrote:

On Mon, 12 May 1997, Chan Wei Lik wrote:

This fanfic was supposed to be a "Yohko gets thrown into Ranma type

insanity" fic.   It decided to take a slightly darker turn near the end
of part 1.  It may or may not stay that way I'm not sure yet.<<

Nodoka is being shortsighted in looking for a solution. She could 
pass the legacy to her GRANDdaugther. Also, Ranma IS a girl half the 
time anyway... 

That's true but she wants Ranma to marry into a demon hunter bloodline to
insure that it stays strong.  Also she doesn't see Ranma as a female which
cuts him out of the running, at least in _her_ mind.

The problem is that Nodoka swings around far too abruptly, and without 
any real idea of what Yohko is like.  She's known Yohko for... how long 
does it take a cab to reach the Dojo from the station?

And given the hints you've been dropping I suspect that the Tendo's are 
the 3rd Demon Humter family you mentioned in the last version.  And 
Nodoka should know about the 3rd family, even if only by reputation. 

If you really want to have Yohko end up engaged to Ranma, work it like 
this:  Nodoka said that a Yohko-Ranma engagement was considered but that 
Yohko probably doesn't know about it.  Change that so that Yohko does 
know about it, in fact Yohko can be carrying a letter from her 
grandmother Madoka asking for the engagement to be carried out, after all 
Madoka is known to want Grandchildren.  Yohko should know what is in the 
letter and be reluctant to bring it up (perhaps planning to forget about 
it initially), but with her attraction to Ranma growing...

Some scene in the dojo, perhaps with a Ranma-Akane fight, and Yohko can 
feel justified about throwing her hat into the ring for Ranma.  Show 
NOdoka thinking what she does now, but hold back from having her just 
unilaterally decide Ranma's life, however when Yohko makes her move and 
everyone else throws a fit over it, Nodoka can back Yohko's claim.  The 
way it stands now Nodoka is jarringly inconsistent, particularly since 
you have done nothing to establish that Demon Hunting is important to her.

Even if you don't like this idea, I'd recommend altering Ranma's responce 
to his mothers ultimatum.  Icy politeness and a total refusal to 
co-operate would work better (IMHO) than the profanity you use.  Ranma is 
a little foul-mouthed, but not to women normally.  Besides in Japanese 
culture total icy formality is commonly used to show extreme anger.

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"The Major"                     |  "Funny Games, Strange Cartoons, Confusing
David Bateson                   |     Computers and too many Books!  No 
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