[scene opens in the Ucchan's. Ukyou is, of course, serving Okonomiyaki, and
the patrons are, of course, eating it. She looks skyward from time to time,
then goes back to cooking.]

Voice: Ucchan!

Ukyou: Ran-chan! Akane-chan! Come in! Come in! The usual?

Ranma: [seating himself. Akane joins him, holding P-chan] Of course.

Ukyou: And what will you have, Akane-chan?

Akane: What Ranma's having.

Ukyou: Comin' up! [looks skyward, then goes back to the task of cooking
okonomiyaki]

Akane: [thoughtful scowl] Hey. Ranma. Ever have the feeling that
something... well, wierd is about to happen?

Ranma: Come to think of it, yeah. Of course, it may be that we're just
paranoid because none of the usual loons have showed their faces in a
while.

Akane: You could be right.

Ukyou: ORDER UP!

[A pair of plates come whirring toward them, which Ranma catches. He sets
down one plate in front of Akane and one in front of himself. There is a
six-foot stack of okonomiyaki on each of them. Another, two-layer stack
lands in front of P-chan, who pounces on it.]

Ranma: Hey, what gives.

Ukyou: [digging into a similar stack] Eat up, Ran-chan. And snap it up. You
two only got twelve minutes to do it. [looks skyward again, then announces]
Final call! The Ucchan closes down in twelve minutes!

[crowd scramble to order, which Ukyou cheerfully fulfills as she eats her
okonomiyaki stack.]

[Ranma and Akane stare at their respective stacks for a second. Ranma tears
into his while Akane just turns an interesting shade of green.]

Akane: Hey, Ukyou...

Ukyou: [finished her stack and is stuffing three towels and as many peanut
packages as she can into a satchel] You need to eat, Akane! It's vital that
you eat all your okonomiyaki!

[Akane stares at her stack and reluctantly eats them. Both P-chan and Ranma
have finished theirs.]

Ranma: Say Ucchan, any reason why you're closing the Ucchan early?

Ukyou: Oh, no biggie. It's just that the world's about to end!

----

Tj/Wyrm presents:

So Long and Thanks for All the Slop!

Cast:

Akane and Ranma, the last two surviving humans, saved from destruction
because Ranma's childhood friend, Ukyou, suddenly turned out to be from a
small star in the vicinity of Beatlegese and not from Kyoto as she'd always
claimed.

Ukyou, who's birth name is unpronouncable, had emmigrated to a small
backwater planet, and had chosen a more appropriate name than her cousin,
Ford Prefect.

Tatewaki, who had made a deal with the Vogons to exchange poetry in return
for the rank of captain in the constructor fleet.

Shampoo, who had been rescued three weeks earlier when Mousse tricked her
into stepping aboard his spacecraft.

Mousse, who had been hiding a head and an arm all along, and had stolen the
experimental ship, Heart of Fool's Gold after becoming the Galactic
Precident.

Kasumi, who's body was actually an android construction, loaded back to
where she belonged, as the controling AI of the Heart of Fool's Gold, and
of the doors.

P-chan, actually a hyperintelligent pan-dimentional being whose species had
originally commissioned the Earth to calculate the Question to Life, the
Universe, and Everything.

Ryouga, a form that P-chan assumes whenever neccessary, no longer needed.
Sold to Mousse for a handsome sum as a servator. Depressing as sin and
Ki-blasts the size of the planets.

Kodachi, the soul that can't get a break, has a vendetta (and is always
killed by) Ranma-chan, but has fallen in love with Ranma-kun. Was a rabbit,
newt, pot of daisies, wombat, ect, finally as the most powerful of her
forms, the crazy gymnast with the ribbon.

Cologne, a citizen of the planet of Magrathea, who spent the galactic
depression on Earth instead of in sleep.

Nabiki as the proprieter of Nabiki's, the Restraunt at the End of the Universe.

---

Heheh...

                           ---------------------
##   ## ##   ## #######  ##   ##  AKA Tom Jefferys, Time Lord for Hire
##   ##  #   #   ##   ## ### ###    "Have TARDIS; Will Travel."
## # ##   ###    #####   ## # ##  Wielder of ANVIL and SPAM! Breaking
### ###    #     ##  ##  ##   ##    the Rules of Fanfiction!
##   ##   ###   ###   ## ##   ## of UT      <wyrm@mail.utexas.edu>
Save the Bit Trees -- Conserve SPAM!
Darwin was wrong: Man is still an ape!