On Wed, 7 May 1997 15:52:49 -0400 (EDT), Luigi Mattera wrote:

On Wed, 7 May 1997, Gary Kleppe wrote:

I have to agree with you about this fic. I could deal with Akane's
portrayl in "Bitter End", because Zen gave us a reason for it (the
mental illness). Not so in this fic. She is just portrayed as some
ever-angry, totally shallow, and incredibly stupid caricature of herself
for no apparant reason.

 *Sigh.*  I gave reasons.

Not that I could see.

 Perhaps in this case I should explain things
further, but to be truthful flaming me on the entire fanfic list is no way
complain.

The above was not intended as a flame. If it came across too strong, I
offer my apologies. I do not, however, take back what I said about this
story.

 Tell me *where*, tell me *why*, but don't flame the thing
without any explanation to everyone!  Geez people, please.  There is such
a thing called _constructive _ critisim, you know.  This is a work in
progress.

You want specific examples? Okay, here we go...
[Quoting from the fic 'Ranma-chan' which, to anyone who doesn't know, is
the one we're talking about]

Akane was already out on her morning jog, enjoying what little piece and
quiet she usually had before her fiancee the human trouble magnet woke up. 
*Serves him right,* Akane fumed to herself, as she thought about Ranma. 
*That hentai baka got himself into another fight with Ryouga last night.*

(It's peace, by the way.) Right away she's getting mad with little
provocation. I suspected right here that this was going to be a "Akane
the Psychotic Maniac" story.

being any nicer to her.  Sometimes she wondered why she put up with the
idiot. Akane smiled to herself as the Tendo Dojo was visible at the end of
her sight.  *I'll give that baka a beating he won't forget!* She jogged up
to the doors of the Dojo calling out, "I'm home, where is Ranma-kun?"

She's actually making plans to go out of her way to pound Ranma, and for
what?

 Akane smiled to herself as she sat down.  She would mallet him after
school, when he wasn't expecting it.  She would even be nice to him during
lunch, just to scare him. 

Here she's taking pleasure from thoughts of tormenting Ranma later.

noticed that Ranma and Ukyou were nowhere in sight.  *Damn that baka! 
He's gonna get it when I get home!*

Here we go again. Now *some* of this I could stomach, but it's the
cumulative effect of a story full of it, coupled with Akane seemingly
not being able to think of anything else or react in any other way than
wanting to pound Ranma.

 The day ended quietly, for once.  Akane and Ranma walked home, with
about ten feet of space in between them.  Ranma was wondering what to say,
but his mind was drawing a complete blank.  *Stupid tomboy, why does she
always have to make things so difficult?* Finally they arrived at the
Tendo dojo.  Ranma jumped into the air and landed in between Akane and the
house.  "Akane..." he started. "RANMA NO BAKA!"  came the reply, as it
always did.  With a sudden inhuman speed, Ranma was slammed backwards by a
mallet which appeared out of nowhere. 

NO provocation here that I can see (the "stupid tomboy" line was not
said out loud). And note the "always did". Akane does this all the time
for no reason in your version of the Ranmaverse, does she?

air.  This caused a bit of amusement to Akane as she watched Ranma loft
lazily up into the air.  Ranma then came flying back down and proceeded to

Amusement. She's beating him up not because of anything he did to
provoke her, but because it's fun? I'm still waiting for that
explanation you said you'd given of why she's acting this way, BTW.

 Nabiki could only watch in surprise as Ranma took a single step towards
the exit and collapsed unconscious in a heap on the ground.  Nabiki walked
over to her. *Oh my,* she thought.  *How amusing.  Akane gave Ranma
amnesia again.* "Akane-chan!"  She shouted.  *This would be interesting to

"Again"? So this is a common occurrence, huh?

 *Should I be the one to tell her?* Nabiki wondered.  *No telling how
she'll react _this_ time.* "Thank you, oneesan." 

Even Akane's sisters are afraid of her now? As far as I know she has
never been violent against either of them.

home, and she was glad about that.  Akane finally listened to the voice at
the back of her head, but as usual it came out completely convoluted. 
*This is probably Ranma's fault,* she thought to herself.  *They've all
probably gone to watch him fight someone again.* She growled.  This time,
she would be staying home, and not chasing after Ranma. *That baka
deserves whatever beating he gets.* 

More of the same.

 With that statement, Nabiki walked off into the house, and Akane
collapsed onto the ground.  She could not believe what Nabiki had just
said.  Could it be that she had actually gone too far this time?  She
started to cry, tears spilling down her cheeks.  *That baka,* she thought
to herself.  *Why did he have to make me angry?*

Ranma has been hurt, but she's still at it.

playing havoc with her emotions.  She awoke in the middle of the
night, coated in sweat and shivering uncontrollably.  "Ranma.." she
whispered.  "What can I do?  Can I do anything at all?"  She got out
of bed, a decision formed in her mind.  Akane exited her room, and
headed down the stairs.

[snip]

Akane was cooking.  At three in the morning no less.  She was in a
frenzy, blitzing through the kitchen as she attempted to mix things
together.  She turned towards Genma-panda, a smile on her face.  "Good
morning," she stated rather cheerfully.  "I'm making something for
Ranma when he wakes up."

Okay, this is a prime example of what I meant by "stupid". While she
often does use him as a guniea pig for her cooking, if she has any
brains at all she would have to realize that now is not the time.

 Akane's disposition switched in an instant.  "He'll wake up!  You'll
see.  If he doesn't then I'll bash his skull in!"

Do I need to comment here?

son.  Nodoka wanted to see them married, but realized that Akane's and
Ranma's relationship needed to change drastically.  She just would
have to remember to keep an eye on the girl before Akane's violent
tendancies towards Ranma reoccured like they always did.

<yawn> I don't disagree with Nodoka's sentiment, but how many times does
this have to be said? Akane is violent. We get the point already!

 Nodoka nodded while trying to repress a shudder.  Kasumi simply
smiled, while Akane looked quite angry at the news.  Nodoka was too

Akane reacts with anger. Gee, what a surprise.

 Akane brought her bag in front of her, and dug through it.  "I
brought you lunch," she said, opening up the bento box.
 Ranma frowned.  "That's ok," she replied.  "I am not that hungry." 
 "I made it especially for you!  I am an excellent cook." 

Oh, COME ON. True she doesn't appreciate how bad her cooking is, but for
her to be this deluded is ridiculous.

 Akane stuck the spoon into Ranma's open mouth.  Ranma's eyes went
wide, and she gagged immediately on whatever Akane had placed into her
mouth.  Ranma immediately started to gag and puke, and Akane reacted
the only way she knew how.  "RANMA NO BAKA!" she screamed as she
pulled her hammer out and prepared to bash Ranma's head in.

Again, and again, and again... and while he's in the hospital, yet.

This whole story struck me as an exercise in Akane bashing. Evidently
you don't like the character. That's fine; I myself don't like Sasuke.
Therefore I leave him out of my fanfics. That's the simple solution.

Gary Kleppe
kleppe@execpc.com, Home page http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe
My fanfics and the FFML map are on my comics/manga page,
       http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe/comics