This is your last chance before I send this one to the RAAC. C&C now or
forever hold your piece. NOT a dark fic, just deals with a serious
subject. PLEASE give it a shot! 

Misery's End Part One

	"The Uses of a Knife!"

o-(----

	Ukyo woke up to dull pain. She had fallen asleep in the back room, a
small pile of shrimp and vegetables in front of her. Her first thought
were of mild pain. Something was sticking her in the ribs and her
sleeping position was anything but comfortable. She pulled the thin,
cylindrical object out of her sash, streched her tightened joints, and
yawned sleepily. Blinking rapidly, she tried to get some strength back
into her eyes. Had she fallen asleep crying? It must have been the
onions.

 	She wiped the weariness from her eyes and studied the light from her
window. It was morning...again. Without really paying much attention to
her actions, she began slicing up some shrimp. The steady rhythm slowly
drummed life back into her.  Her thoughts began to turn to the previous
night.

o-(----

	"Um, Ukyo?" Akane had stuck her head into Ucchan's around seven that
night. The place had been bustling for the past few hours. Her main
competition had lost one of it's major selling points and Ukyo was doing
a brisk business. Of course, Shampoo's disappearance had also worried
her a little. What could that blue-haried hussy be doing?

	With a smile she nodded to an empty chair in front of the grill. If
Akane was here, Ran-chan was almost sure to follow and that meant more
opportunities to stuff his face with real food. Cooked straight from the
heart for the man she loved. How could he not notice? 

	Even if he didn't show up, Akane was nice company. Most of her current
customers were males from the Neko-Hanten and they weren't in a
talkative mood. They had spent the evening mourning their loss, not to
mention trying to conjure up mental images of Ukyo in seductive attire.
It wasn't working out well. Ukyo was very cute but she just didn't
bounce the way the Amazon did. Other guys were grumbling to themselves
in tight groups. While the young men had lost a Goddess, their
girlfriends had found a God.

	Mousse had always been attractive, but lately he seemed to have a whole
new confident way about him. His eyes seemed to smolder behind his thick
glasses and when he smiled, he smiled without any trace of the old
malice. Just a quiet, content smile that made your heart melt. Ukyo
wasn't quite sure what was going on, but if Shampoo didn't forget about
Ranma and stake her claim on him soon, he was as good as gone.

 	She looked over at Akane who seemed to be fidgeting over something.
What was with that weird look in her eyes? Was she sick? Not sure what
to say, but glad to have someone to talk to she began innocently. "So,
how's Ran-chan? I haven't seen him around much lately." She smiled as
she prepared an okonomiyaki for a female patron. Ukyo concentrated on
watching Akane's face. Her reflexes easily concentrated on the task at
hand.

	It was always fun to start Akane off on one of her little "Ranma no
baka!" tirades. With a little more prodding she might even be able to
set her up with some other guy. This would leave Ran-chan for herself.
Even more fun, if she could subtly remind her of the momentous
difference in their cooking skills, the enraged girl might even try and
force feed him. She could just see his hungry expression as he begged
Ukyo to hide him from danger, not to mention giving him some real food.

 	Then, she saw Akane's face transform. Her hardened features melted and
she seemed to almost blush. She was smiling, and all from one name,
Ran-chan. Ukyo barely noticed as her spatulas tore through the Japanese
pancake.

	"Oh Ukyo, he-he proposed to me!" Akane had reached over the counter and
was fiercely hugging the okonomiyaki chef, crying and laughing at the
same time.

	Ukyo just stood there, her hands not moving and her face etched in
stone. The young men who had been trying to conjure up ecchi images of
her took one look in her eyes and saw the pits of hell. Those men who
had come in, betrayed by their loves began to fidget under her burning
glare and began remembering their own infidelities. Ukyo's restaurant
emptied in record time. No one even thought of skipping out on there
tab. Piles of money with healthy tips adorned every table.

	"I'm-I'm very happy for you." was all she could stutter out.

	"Thank you <sniff> you'll come won't you? Ranma and I just couldn't
have the wedding without you." Akane smiled, her eyes still moist with
tears.

	"Wouldn't miss it." Ukyo choked out. "I-I got some things to do Akane,
could you come back later?"

	"Oh, sure thing. We'll be sending out invitations in a few days, let me
know if you don't get one." Akane squeezed her friend's hand one last
time and walked out the door. She seemed to be floating about an inch
off the ground.

	Ukyo didn't how she had ended upstairs but there she was, kneeling in
front of her family shrine. She lit a candle and just stared at the
pictures of her ancestors, her grandmother, her grandfather, and finally
a beautiful young woman. Katsumi-sama, who had been Ukyo's great aunt,
welcomed her with quiet eyes. With practiced hands, she slowly lit the
incense and tapped the small metal bowl, commencing a prayer. All she
wanted was an answer, not guidance, not some miracle that would make
everything all right. Just a simple answer. Why had she wasted her life
on a dream?

	Her eyes opened and fell back down to Katsumi-sama. She looked so
feminine, so beautiful. She must have had no problems finding her own
special someone. Yet, that was not the case. Her family was a bit
reluctant to talk about it, Katsumi-sama having been a bit of a rebel in
and the whole affair having torn her family to pieces. Still, with
persistence, Ukyo had found been able to get the whole story.

	She had fallen in love with a man. A man who was already married to
another woman. He had promised to leave his wife if only she would
consent to be his lover. It had taken years for Katsumi-sama to come to
grips with the truth. Why should he give up the woman he loved for the
woman he slept with? However, she had no place left to go. She had
disobeyed her family to live with the man and could not return.

	A year later, a family heirloom turned up missing. It had been a gift
from an ancient household that had fallen on bad times. Ukyo's family
had fed and nurtured the old clan back to health. The gift had been a
beautiful ceremonial tanto, and it had become a symbol of pride for her
family. When it was finally rediscovered, it was  along side a dead
Katsumi-sama. 

	The young woman had used the blade to end her life and had laid her
self to rest in her lover's bed. The man was disgraced before his wife
and his family. His uncle had taken possession of the man's belongings
and had made sure the story, as well as the dagger, was returned to
Ukyo's family. The family received the tanto and keep it to remind them
of their failure. Blood had washed away the blade's original meaning.
Now, after so many years, no one in the family would so much as speak
openly of it nor would any dare remove it from its sheath.  

 	Four years ago, the dagger had gone missing again. Ukyo had taken it.
Her mind had been a flood of romantic ideals and samurai tradition. She
had thought she would seal her fate after confronting the family who had
wronged her. Ukyo chuckled softly to herself. It had all seemed so
perfect when she was a child. She, a woman forced to be a man by a would
be lover, would go the same as a woman forced to be a lover by a would
be man.

	With a quivering hand, she removed the intricately carved, red and gold
blade from its secret place in her shrine. Her childish oath had been so
serious at the time.  She looked at the ornate dagger. Its gold tassel
and Phoenix reliefs shining just a bit in the light of the reflected
candles. Nervously, she resisted the urge to look at the naked blade.
Even now, the weapon retained its stigma. To open it was to make a
covenant with death.

	Suddenly, a nervous pit seemed to open in her stomach. Could she really
do this? She silently asked herself, over and over. Yes, she thought,
forcing a calmness over her whole body, she could. Ukyo blinked in
surprise. Amazed at how good she felt. Well, not exactly good, but at
peace. She was, after all, a woman of honor. By making one final
decision, she could leave the world as one. 

	Now, to open the dagger or not?

	Before she could finish her thoughts, Ukyo's stomach growled. Humph, no
point in that, if she did decide to take her own life, she was not going
to need food where she was going. Her stomach made a counter argument.
Look, she thought, if I'm going to spill my guts, there damn well going
to be empty! Giving her point due consideration, her stomach rethought
its strategy and decided to hell with it. It continued using the
persuasion techniques it knew best.

 	Fine, thought Ukyo, I'm an honorable Japanese woman with the munchies.
She had all the time in the world to make her decision after all. She
would have all of eternity once had made her choice. With as much
dignity as she could muster, she stuck the still closed blade in her
sash and walked downstairs. The young woman took the sturdy knife from
the chopping board, and attacked the various ingredients with hungry
ferocity. She hummed a little tune to herself. All of her answers were
right there in her sash. Besides, she was always a little bit more at
peace when cooking for a purpose and her purpose tonight was clear. To
make what was possibly the last meal she would ever taste.

	Her mistake came with the onions. An experienced chef knows how to cut
them just right so that no juices squirted and therefore, no tears
flowed. Ukyo had always ignored this little trick. If you were silly
enough to cry over the massacre of a vegetable, you really had no
business in the kitchen. Besides, at the speed and skill she wielded her
blade, rarely did she feel so much as a sting.

	The small drop of onion mist landed on her face. She felt a slight
itching sensation, but she was too smart to just rub it right in with
her hands. She would grab a towel in just a moment, after she was done
chopping. Trickling down the curve of her lower lid, the invading liquid
seemed balanced on her eyelashes. Don't blink, she thought, whatever you
do, don't blink. Her eyes began to dry from the strain. She could almost
feel her iris getting dryer and dryer and...aw the hell with it. She
blinked.

	Rubbing her dampened eyes she thought, well, that wasn't so bad was it?
Continuing chopping, her tight smile began to falter as her eyes slowly
began to moisten. Rubbing again fiercely, she looked accusingly at the
offending vegetable. What had been simply moisture became a single tear.
Just one trickle that made a long languorous trip down her check. She
felt it hanging on her bottom lip, which started to quiver.

o-(----

	She didn't remember much after that. She had fallen asleep with tears
in her eyes, and with a dagger poking her in the ribcage. Wait a second!
She looked down as her hands skillfully sliced a shrimp in half.
Skillfully and with a cursed ceremonial tanto!

	Her face paled and her bottom lip began to quiver uncontrollably again.
There was only one thing to do. She laughed. She laughed at onions, she
laughed at daggers, she laughed at martial artists who turned into women
or animals when splashed with cold water. Most of all she laughed
because she was still alive. The knife had kept her company through one
of the hardest nights of her life, but now it was just another tool for
making the best tasting okonomiyaki in the world. The blood that had
washed away the blade's original meaning, had been washed away itself,
by shrimp juices.

	Still giggling, she shut and locked the door of her restaurant and went
out shopping for a new dress. She decided to pick up something nice for
the upcoming wedding. Inside her shirt, a finely crafted tanto, useful
for committing seppuku or slicing shrimp, rested against her skin. 

	She still had some dark days ahead of her, and she still had no focus
or a clear path to travel. But she was alive! Maybe the darkness would
try to drown her again. Maybe she would really succumb to its promises
of eternal peace. 

	She still wasn't sure, but the whole day spread out before her and
there were still so many other possibilities! Sighing a bit to herself,
she wondered if Katsumi-sama would ever have known happiness if she had
discovered the different uses of a knife.

o-(----

	Somewhere else, a phone rang... 

	"Hello?"

	"Yo Ryouga, I got something incredible to tell you man!"

o-(----

End Part One "The Uses Of a Knife!"

Ending Theme..."Suicide is Painless" If you don't know the tune, it's
the M.A.S.H. Theme Song

        The Game of Life is Hard to Play...
        I'm Going to Lose it Anyway...
        My Final Card I'll One Day Lay...
        And That's All That I Have to SaaaaaAAAAYYYY...

        Suicide is Painless...
        It Brings So Many Changes...
        And I Can Take or Leave It If I Pleasssseee...
 
Paraphrased Neitzche (I think) The thought of suicide is a great comfort
it has gotten many a man through many a dark time...