---------- Forwarded message ----------

***************Alternate Universe:  Ranko and Kaneda*************

                         by: Adrian Wong

(The relatively grammatically correct version, thanks to the help
of Gary Kleppe, a fanfic writer himself.)

Sorry for the LONG delay, but I have been too busy to write this for quite
a few weeks.

Intro:
     In the Ranma 1/2 manga by Rumiko Takahashi, Genma Saotome
engaged Ranma to one of Soun Tendo's daughters, Akane, in order for
him to inherit the Tendo Dojo.  The entire series largely
consisted of the problems and chaos generated by the couple. 
Supposed that Genma had a daughter, and Soun had two girls and
one boy, then what's going to happen?  Also, how will the
Jusenkyo factor apply itself in this case?  Another enemy from Ranko's
mysterious past has resurfaced, while new admirers came into her life.
Will she survive the upcoming bloodshed in the most bizarre and pointless
martial art contest of all?    Well, read on and find out!! 

*Most characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi (even though some of
them have endured sex changes)*  

Part five: Fast Food and Mayhem                         

	It was Friday again.  The kids at Furinkan High were rushing out
of the school building like flocks of liberated slaves, all anticipating
the freedom of the weekend.  Even the cloudy skies failed to dampen their
spirits.  Stretching her slender arms, Ranko yawned and breathed out the
sleepiness that she had inhaled during the ever boring History class.

	"God, that class was strenuous!  If I didn't know better, I'd say
that Takana Sensei is one those energy zapping youmas from Sailor Moon."
Ranko wiped at her eyes.

	"Really. . . his lecturing wasn't THAT bad,"  Kaneda, looking as
refreshed as he was in the morning, replied.  "If only you had half of
the endurance in the classroom you have in the dojo. . ."

	"Heh. . ."  Ranko narrowed her large eyes in mischief and turned
to Kaneda.  "Guess it takes a bookworm to stand a bookworm-"

	"What did you say?"  Kaneda cracked his knuckles halfheartedly as
Ranko giggled and pretended to back away.

	"Stop thy barbaric acts, villain!"

	Startled, the couple turned to the source of the voice, and found
a tall, obviously older young man carrying a kendo bokken. The dark curls
on his head enhanced his strong profile, making him quite formidable
looking.  The excessive drama in his entire being, however, cancelled that
out.   

	Kaneda frowned.  "Hey, what-"

	"Be silent, low dog!  I have seen, with my own eyes, your violent
intent upon this vulnerable maiden."  He gestured to Ranko, who looked
incredulous.

	"What the heck are you talking about?!"

	"Alas, innocent pigtailed-girl in thy first flower of youth, fear
the cad no more.  For I, the Blue Thunder of Seisyun High, shall rescue
you from this abuser of women!"  With this, the Blue Thunder leapt skyward
with a martial artist's skill, his bokken raised above his head.  Kaneda
narrowed his eyes and leapt up as well, propelling himself at the armed
boy.  The two intercepted each other in midair, somersaulted, and landed
facing each other.
The kendoist was about to attack the kempoist again, before his bokken
broke in half.  He looked down at his destroyed weapon in disbelief.

	"Very well, it seems that I've taken you too lightly after all."
The Blue Thunder tossed away his bokken as he looked sideways at Kaneda,
who looked both angry and guarded.  The kendoist's expression softened as
he turned to the confused looking Ranko.  "Fair little pigtailed girl,
know that I shall rescue you another day.  For now, take this as thy
solace."  He  took out a red rose out of nowhere and threw it to her,
which she caught with wide eyes.  Smiling to himself, he leapt over a
rooftop and disappeared.

	"Wacko!"  Kaneda scowled and walked on.  "This is exactly the kind
of people that lower a place's property values!  There's a method to his
madness, which almost reminds me of that . . ."  He stopped as he
realized that Ranko wasn't following him.  He looked back and saw the girl
still staring at the rose, mesmerized.  "Hey, what's the matter?"

	Ranko looked up at him, frowned, and muttered.  "Nothing.  Let's
go."

	"What is it?"  Kaneda, still utterly clueless, persisted.

	Ranko turned her head away.  "You'll only make fun of me if I tell
you."

	"Oh, C'mon!  That won't be the first time."

	Ranko glared hard at him.  "Don't I know it."

	Kaneda was a bit taken back by the heat in Ranko's eyes.  "Hey!  I
was only joking.  Seriously, what is bothering you?"

	Ranko looked exasperated.  "Does it ever occur to you that NOBODY
has ever given me a rose before?"

	Kaneda's eyes widened.  "You. . . you mean. . . you like to
receive roses?"

	Ranko nodded, blushing slightly.

	Kaneda couldn't help but laugh as he resumed his walk home.
"Sorry.  But you really don't struck me as the sentimental type.  C'mon,
Let's go."

	"Insensitive jerk. . . why the other girls flock around you, I'll
never know."  Ranko threw the rose into a garbage can and grudgingly
followed.  

*		*		*		*		*
*			

	Meanwhile, in a random vacant lot in Nerima, a long-haired figure
with a huge something strapped to his/her back was standing on a fence,
glaring down at the overweight, middle-aged man standing on the lot.

	"Saotome Genma."  The figure spoke up in a deadly voice.  "I've
found you at last."

	"Hmmm . . . you do seem familiar."   Genma scratched his head,
looking innocent.  "Do I know you?"

	"Hahahahahahaha. . ."   The figured laughed with an edge to
his/her voice.  "You do seem to have a short memory, Mr. Saotome.
Nevertheless, prepare yourself. . ."  Unsheathing the thing on his/her
back, the figure did a rapid kata with it before aiming it at Genma.
"For I am Ukyou, the one whose childhood has been shattered by your greed
and dishonor!!!!!"   Propelling himself/herself up into the air, Ukyou
rapidly came down onto him with a gigantic weapon.

	Genma looked stunned as the thing came crashing down at him.  "Uk
. . . Ukyou?!"

	Thunder and lighting dramatized the moment.

*		*		*		*		*
*		*

	Back at the dojo, Soun approached Ranko with a big smile right as
she and Kaneda stepped into the door.  "Ranko, you came back!  Come over
into the dining room, we have some important matters to discuss."

	"Eh?"

	In the dining room, two middle-aged man wearing clothes with
different restaurant logos rushed up to meet her.  "Ranko Saotome of the
Saotome School of Anything-Goes?"  One of them asked.

	"Yep, that's me."

	"Wow!  You're every bit as pretty as the rumors said you are."
One if them said.

	"And healthy too."  The other added.

	"Huh?"  Ranko frowned in confusion.

	"You see, Ranko.  These two gentlemen in here are the respective
owners of "Happy Noodles Fast Food Restaurant" and "Deep Sea Cuisine".  They
have both sighed up for the Martial Arts Fast Food Delivery Contest on
tomorrow, and both would like to have you as the candidate of their
respective restaurant.  Now it's up to you to choose one of them to race
for.  The rules are simple: whoever delivers the food to the chosen house
first will be the winner.   If you win, the store will offer us a one year
unlimited supply of their takeouts.  Just imagine how much money you could
save for us!"  Soun was almost starry-eyed.  The two restaurant
owners looked at her expectantly.

	Kaneda spoke up.  "One question.  What's the point of this contest
anyway?"

	Happy Noodles spoke up.  "Why, to promote the winning restaurant
through the publicity that the contest will get, of course!  That's why
Miss Saotome, the most famous martial artist in this area, shall do very
nicely."

	"To have unlimited takeouts for a year. . . COOL!"  Ranko looked
excited, then became slightly indecisive.    "Well. . . noodles are nice,
but I like sea food too. . . which one will I choose?"  

	Just then, a tired female voice could be heard out in the yard.
"Now if only I can find shelter before it rains. . . "

	Kaneda recognized the voice immediately as he walked up to the
confused girl in the yard.  "Ryoko-san!  Hi!"

	The ragged looking girl, tiredly dragging a backpack across the
ground, looked startled to see him.  "Ka. . .Kaneda-kun!  What are you
doing at this buddhist temple?"

	"This's the dojo."  Kaneda smiled gently, and the girl blushed.
Even since the day before when he had cradled her in his arms(when she was
in leopard form), that smile had secretly made its mark in the lonely
girl's heart.  Even the incident in the laundry room didn't serve to erase
that mark: it highlighted it instead.  

	Kaneda, in all his obliviousness, didn't notice the blush.  All he
saw was how tired the girl was. Picking up the heavy backpack for
her, he walked her into the house. <He's so nice. . .>  Ryoko thought.

	"Hey, Ryoko!  Getting lost again?"  Ranko taunted her with
mischief in her eyes.

	Ryoko glared back at her.  "What?! How dare you
insult me!"  Leaping forward, she tried to nail the pigtailed girl with a
jump-kick.  The latter skipped over her attack, and she quickly re-adjusted
her momentum to land back on her feet.

	"Ranko, stop teasing her!"  Kaneda snapped at his fiancee.
Really, how could she taunt someone who was so pitiful?!

	"Hmph!"  Ranko turned her head in disdain.  

	The owner of the Deep Sea Cuisine looked at Ryoko as if she was a
gold mine.  "Say, are you a martial artist also?"

	Ryoko noticed him for the first time.  "Yeah?"

	The man smiled.  "Will you be interested in an unlimited supply of
takeout seafood for a whole year?"  He explained the nature of the Martial
Arts Fast Food Delivery Contest, and girl looked genuinely interested.

	"Cool!  I'll go for it!"

	Ranko looked at her with a bored expression.  "Why bother?  You'll
probably get lost in the middle of the race anyway."

	Ryoko glared at her, but could say nothing.  After all, Ranko had
a point there.

	Kaneda saw her distress, and turned to the restaurant owner.  "Say,
is there is rule against leading a contestant toward her destination?"

	"Well, not really, as long as the person leading didn't do
anything against the other contestants to slow them down." 

	"Good."  The boy smiled.  "Then I suppose it wouldn't matter if I
lead Ryoko-san here to her destination during the contest."

	"Kaneda-kun . . . you would do that . . . for me?"  The short hair
girl was almost teary eyed.  She then shot a victorious look at Ranko, who
hmphed and turned away.

	"But would this really be necessary?"  The owner of Deep Sea
Cuisine asked.  

	"With HER it would."  Ranko muttered, annoyed at how Kaneda was
sticking up for Ryoko at every turn.  "Not that she could win against ME, of
course."

	Ryoko smiled with challenge in her eyes.  "We'll see about that."

	Soun, who saw the turn of events, whispered to his son.  "Kaneda!
Do you think this is wise?  If this Ryoko person does win, then our free
take-out for a year plan will be ashes!  Besides, you should be on your
fiancee's side!"

	"Father. . ."  Kaneda glared at him.

	Ryoko heard this exchange, turned to Deep Sea Cuisine, and spoke up
in a loud enough voice.  "If I win, I want you to give the prize to the
Tendo family."

	"Very well then."

	Soun's attitude changed immediately as he leapt up to hug her.
"Oh, you dear, sweet, selfless girl!  May the kami be on your side at the
race!"
  	
	"I'll try my best, Tendo-san."  Smiling politely, Ryoko easily got
out of his hug with her titanic strength.  

	"Thanks, Ryoko-san, for helping out my family."  Kaneda said.
Ryoko scratched the back of her head and turned away blushing.  "It's
nothing. . .  Can I borrow the hot tub?  I've been traveling for an
entire day already."

	"Most certainly, Ryoko-san."  Soun answered.

	As Ryoko walked pass Ranko out to the corridor, she shot a nasty
look at Ranko, which was returned just as potently.  <Just you wait until
tomorrow comes, you minx. . .> Both girls thought at the same time, auras
lighting up their tense bodies.

	"My, my.  The race tomorrow has certainly lifted their spirits."
Kasumi observed with a gentle smile as she headed toward the kitchen to
prepare dinner.

*		*		*		*		*
*		*	
	The weather was sunny and fair on the day of the contest.  Several
hundred girls, all in different styles of waitress uniforms, had gathered at
the outdoor plaza that was the beginning point of the race.  Many
bystanders had gathered around the contestants, apparently their families
and friends.

	Ranko was chatting with Sayuri and Yuka.  Wearing a form hugging
red Chinese mini-skirt with the Happy Noodles logo, matching the natural
red of her flaming hair.  Between her blossoming beauty and gamine charm,
the red nymphet had a lot of male heads turning.  

	"I've bet 2000 yen on your victory, Ranko.  Don't you dare lose
on me"  Sayuri winked at her.

	"Heh, as long as a contest got martial arts in the title, I always
win."  Ranko smiled, flexing her knuckles playfully.

	"By the way, is it true that Kaneda is going to help that girl who
once tired to kill you in this contest?"  Yuka asked.

	"Yeah. . ."  Ranko looked peeved.

	Sayuri frowned.  "Aren't you worry that she might win over
Kaneda's affection?  He does seem to be awfully nice to her. . ." 	 

	"Me?  Worrying about losing that jerk?  Ha!  They can elope right
now and I wouldn't care!"

	Yuka scratched her chin as she stared off in another direction.
"Well, they may not be eloping just yet, but they are surely necking
hard."

	"What?!"  Ranko immediately looked through the crowd and saw
Kaneda being with none other than his friends.  "Yuka!!!!"  She pouted as
the other girls giggled.  As she got even more animated in their
arguments, her curves bounced with her movements, unconsciously emitting
waves of allure.     
	
	"Whoa . . . can martial arts do THAT to a girl's body?"  

	"And those legs. . . why can't she dress like this to school
anyway?  It's not like she wears the school uniform anyway." 

	"Stop drooling over her, you two!"  Kaneda barked at Hiroshi and
Daisuke, silently cursing himself for telling the lechers about this
competition.  Since he was to be Ryoko's guide, he wore a blue running
suit that enabled him to run more comfortably.  

	His "friends" looked back at him with amusement in their eyes.
	
	"So possessive . . . and not even married to her yet. . ."  Hiroshi
began.

	"Yeah!  He's definitely the prototype of a jealous boyfriend,"
Daisuke rubbed it in with an oily expression.

	Kaneda blushed.  "I'm NOT her boyfriend!  We're just
together because of our fathers, that's all."

	"Yeah righ-"

	"Kaneda-kun!"  A feminine voice cut off Hiroshi, making him turn
his head.  A girl was coming toward their direction.  She was wearing no
makeup on her clean face, and her short hair was tied back in a yellow and
black bandanna.    Her body wasn't busty, which made her look even better
under the yellow kimono dotted with black patterns.  A thick length of
fabric with the words Deep Sea Cuisine tied in the kimono around her tiny
waist, showing off her good proportions  She wasn't exactly flowery or
glamorous.  Rather, she was natural and elegant.  Hiroshi and Daisuke
couldn't help but stare.

	"Ryoko-san!  Here you are!"  Kaneda waved at her, and she came
over smiling. 

	"Ryoko?"  Daisuke frowned and took a closer look.  The feminine
girl in front of him did bore some resemblance to the untamed alley-cat
that challenged Ranko several days ago.  "Wow!  You got a make-over?"
Ryoko simply smiled with a light blush.

  	"Kaneda, you sly dog you!"  Hiroshi turned to his friend.  "No
wonder you wouldn't take Ranko seriously as your girlfriend!"

	"Yeah!  Why settle for just one, when you have two gorgeous babes
after you at the same time?"  Daisuke smirked.

	Kaneda frowned and stepped in front of the embarrassed girl.
"Leave Ryoko-san out of your sick jokes!  She doesn't have the thick skin
that you guys have, you know!"   He didn't notice how Ryoko was gushing at
the way he was defending her.		  

	Daisuke looked bored.  "Man, you're really uptight for a. . .
Hey!!  Look at that!"
	
	He was looking at a girl standing some distance away from them.  She
was quite tall, and her androgynous clothes showed a willowy figure
without much bust or thigh.  She was wearing a bandoleer, on which
dozens of small spatulas were strapped.  A giant spatula was strapped to
her back as well. Her bangs were short, thick, and parting over one side.
A gentle breeze blew across the plaza, tossing strands of her waist length
hair across her lower profile.  Her large eyes, framed by heavy brows and
lashes, were staring coldly into space. 
	
	Hiroshi was in awe.  "Man!  Is this really a martial-arts
competition?  Looks more like a beauty contest to me."	
		
	**ATTENTION!!!  COULD ALL CONTESTANTS PLEASE GATHER BEHIND THE
STARTING LINE?**

	All the girls immediately picked up their respective deliveries and
headed over to the starting line.          

	Ryoko and Kaneda walked up to the space right beside Ranko.  Both
girls were immediately locked in visual combat as Kaneda looked mildly
uncomfortable.

	"May both of you do your best!!"  Soun was frantically waving a
banner on the sideline,  supporting both girls (as long as either one of
them won, then the Tendo household would get the prize).  Beside him,
Kasumi smiled warmly, as usual.

	Looking at them, Kaneda suddenly noticed something that he should
have noticed a long time ago.  "Say, is it just me or has there been someone
missing since last night?"

	Ranko's attention was redirected for the moment.  "Eh?  What do
you mean?  Nabiki is still on that trip, so all there's left are old man
Tendo and Kasumi."

	Ryoko scratched her chin as well.  "Come to think of it, there is
a person missing from your family. . . aside from Kaneda's other sister.
Just that I can't quite place who it is. . ."

	Ranko shrugged.  "Oh, well.  If no one can remember, then it's
probably nobody of importance anyway . . ."

	Kaneda was about to say more, but the announcer cut him off.
**CAN I HAVE EVERYDODY'S ATTENTION?  THE CONTEST IS ABOUT TO BEGIN!!!** A
huge map of Nerima was lowered behind the announcer, on which the
destination was marked with red.  "THIS IS A HOUSE CHOSEN AT RANDOM.
WHOEVER DELIVERS HER FOOD TO THE HOUSE FIRST, EITHER BY VEHICLE OR ON
FOOT, WILL WIN THIS CONTEST.  HOWEVER, IF YOUR DELIVERY IS DESTROYED
BEFORE THE OWNER OF THE HOUSE CAN EAT IT, IT WILL RESULT IN AN INSTANT
DISQUALIFICATION!!!!**

	Ranko looked around the crowd, and saw their murderous intent upon
her box of noodles.  "So that's how the combat part applies itself, huh?"

	Ryoko smiled viciously as she looked around all over the
contestants.  "This might get interesting. . ."

	"Don't get carried away, you two.  None of the girls here can
withstand even the most basic attack from either of you and remain in one
piece."  Kaneda reminded them.  

	"This from someone who used to fight off girls every day."  Ranko
smirked.

	"Hey!  I . . ."

	** ON WITH THE MAYHEM!!!!! **

	Everybody rushed forward at once.  The Tendo representatives
immediately stood out as the three of them skipped forward with startling
speed, outclassing the other contestants.  The other girls immediately
began to attack them, trying to get rid of the strongest opponents.
Remembering his non-combatant status, Kaneda simply blocked and dodged
their strikes without ever counterattacking. 

	Ryoko, however, was another story entirely. "How dare you
victory-thirsty ghouls attack Kaneda-kun?!"  Slashing out with the flowing
sleeves of her kimono, which could somehow cut through delivery boxes
like katanas, the raging girl rapidly put whoever that was attacking
Kaneda out of the competition.  The other girls realized the futility of
trying to attack them and backed off to run, bike, skate. . . and whatnot
to their destination.

	"How did you do that?"  Kaneda was incredulous as he continued to
run.  "You got razor edges on your sleeves or something?"

	"No . . . it's simply a matter of focusing your strength."  Ryoko
replied proudly as she ran beside him.  

	"Whoa. . ."

	Ryoko, who was already in the leading position with Kaneda,
suddenly noticed something.  "Where's Ranko?  It isn't like her to fall
behind in such a easy race. . ."  

	"I'm not!"  A playful voice called out to them from the above,
causing them to look up.	Running leisurely along the side of a
rooftop was Ranko, smiling down at them.  "Why bother to take the long way
on the street and risk the chance of being attacked, when you can simply
take the short cut via rooftops?  You two can be so dense sometimes.  See
you after I win!"  With that, she leapt away from the edge and out of
sight.

	Ryoko was steaming in embarrassment and anger.  Why didn't she think
about this before?  "We just happen to like a bit of challenge, wimp!"
She yelled up at the roofs.

	Then suddenly, the distinctive rustling of air could be heard,
causing Kaneda to look behind. Ten meters from behind them, a long haired
girl with a giant spatula strapped to her back had leapt up to over twenty
feet up the air.  Her dark eyes narrowing in a vicious glare. . .
<Another martial artist?!> Before Kaneda's thoughts could get any further,
the airborne girl flew a handful of something down at the racing
contestants . . .

	. . . and an explosion occurred, filling the air with a white mist.
Kaneda immediately grabbed Ryoko and leapt up onto a rooftop.  Below them
on the streets, bikes, skateboards and people who are on roller blades
blindly clashed into each other.   A layer of fine, white dust covered all
of them.  

	"What the heck was that?!"  Ryoko asked, coughing a bit as she had
inhaled the white mist.

	"Some kind of bomb set off by what appears to be a competent
martial artist girl."  Kaneda, who had also got some of that white dust on
his sleeve, held it to his nose and sniffed it a bit.   His eyes widened
in surprise.  "It's flour!"

	Ryoko stopped her coughing and looked around.  "Well, whoever's
done it is gone.  Putting everybody out of commission with a bomb . . .
how ruthless!"

	"C'mon.  We aren't out of commission yet now, are we?"  Kaneda
gestured for Ryoko to follow him as he leapt off to another roof. "We've
still got to make Ranko eat her words!"  The boy smiled.

	Hardening her eyes in determination, Ryoko followed.	

*		*		*		*		*
*		*

	Ranko, still carrying her unharmed delivery box, was agilely
skipping from rooftop to rooftop.  This is too easy, she thought.  Even
with the help from Kaneda, Ryoko was still nowhere as adaptable to strange
combat situations as she was.  Then her thoughts became less happy as she
realized how Kaneda was helping Ryoko instead of her.  The rational part
of her told her that it was because of Ryoko's unique problem, but still.
. .

	Just then, the soft whistling of incoming projectiles alerted her,
causing her to leap out of the way just as a hail of something embedded
themselves at the sport that she was at.

	A hail of ordinary spatulas.

	"The common law against assault cannot apply itself in a martial
arts competition like this one."  A cold, even voice could be heard from
above her.  "Saotome Ranko. . . today shall be your downfall!"  

	Ranko looked up, and saw a strange girl with a giant spatula on
her back and a bandoleer of tiny ones across her chest.   <She looked
familiar.>  Ranko thought.  It was then that she saw the logo on her
androgynous outfit.

	UCCHAN.

	"Ucchan?!"  Ranko's eyes widened.  The girl smirked unpleasantly.

	"So you do remember me after all.  That's good. . ."  She abruptly
whipped out a hail of throwing spatulas and threw them at Ranko.  "Because
I have waited for ten years just to track you down!!!"

	"My long lost childhood friend . . . Kuonji Ukyou with the yatai..."
Ranko surprised her by dodging all the projectiles and leapt up to
her.  "Oh! I miss you so much!!!"  The pigtailed girl yelled as she
prepared to embrace the taller girl, but the latter leapt backward before
she made contact, a strangled look on her face.

	"What's the matter?"  Ranko asked, confused.

	Ukyou was so angry that she spoke with apparent difficulty.  Her
long hair was raising slightly in her anger.  "How . . .how can you act
like that?  It's almost as if you don't know what you've done to me..."   

	"Know what?  What have I done?  We were practically sisters in the
old days. . . playing, dressing up in your mom's clothes, sparring with
those spatulas of yours. . . and you always experimented your Kuonji
okonomiyaki special on me."

	"Sis. . .ters. . ."  Ukyou choked on the word, and looked at her
unbelievingly.  "You thought . . . of us . . . as SISTERS?!"

	"Yeah. . ."  Ranko leaned over.  "Hey,you alright, old girl?"

	Ukyou grabbed her shoulders and pushed her off, startling her.
"Do you remember what happened ten years ago, when you and your father..."  She
gritted her teeth.  "LEFT?!"

	"Of course!  I can remember it just like it was yesterday. . ."

############################FLASHBACK############################  
 	Ten years ago, in Kyoto. . .

	A six year old Ranko was sitting on top of a moving cart.  She
looked very much the same, except that her hair was in a ponytail instead
of a pigtail.  With tears on her eyes, the little girl waved back at
another little girl that was chasing the cart.  "Bye, bye, Ucchan!  You'll
always be my best friend!!"
	 
	"Come back, Ranchan!!!"  A six year old Ukyou ran after the
departing cart, crying furiously.  Even in this state she looked quite
adorable, with cute thick hair and a ribbon on top of her forehead.
"Don't leave me behind!!!"  Child-Ukyou tripped on a stone and fell in a
crying heap.

	"Bye, bye. . ."  Child-Ranko sobbed. 

#################################################################

	Ranko wiped a tear off her eyes as she recounted that fateful day.  

	Ryoko sighed.  "That's pretty touching, Ranko.  I almost cried
listening to it. . . and you know how much I hate you."

	"I was touched too."  Kaneda added.  "But something seems to be
missing here . . ."

	"Where on earth did you two come from?!"  Ranko was startled by
their sudden appearances.

	Kaneda looked slightly embarrassed.  "Well, we were on our way to
the chosen house. . ."

	". . . and couldn't help but pass by and eardrop on us?"  Ranko
finished with an annoyed expression.

	Kaneda looked peeved as Ryoko hmphed.  "You see, Kaneda-kun?  That
is exactly why I said we should have just passed by and let her get her
beatings." 	
	
	"Beating?!  Ha!  Nobody can possibly beat ME!"

	"HOLD ON YOU PEOPLE!!"  Ukyou raised her voice, making herself
noticeable once more as she turned back to Ranko.  "Do you still remember
WHAT kind of a cart were you riding on that time?"

	"Well . . . let's see. . ."

#############################FLASHBACK###########################

	"Bye, bye, Ucchan. . ."  Child-Ranko cried on the roof of an
okonomiyaki yatai with the word Kuonji' on it as the fallen Child-Ukyou
faded into distance.  Meanwhile, the sound of food being gulped down could
be heard. Genma swallowed an okonomiyaki as he pulled the yatai as fast
as his overweight bulk could allow him to.

#################################################################

	"Eh . . . why was my father pulling away your family yatai
anyway?"  Ranko asked cluelessly as Ukyou gritted her teeth.  
	
	"What do you think, stupid?"  Ryoko said indignantly.  "That
father of yours must have STOLEN it!"

	Kaneda nodded.  "I certainly won't put it past that man. . ."
	
	"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!"  Genma suddenly appeared out of nowhere,
startling everyone.  Bits of pastry were sticking on him from head to toe.
"Ukyou's mother gave it to me. . . on the condition that I take Ukyou with
us."  

	"Pop, what happened to you?"  Ranko asked, pointing at the pieces
of pastry on him.

	"I was glued to the ground by the largest okonomiyaki ever for an
entire night, that's what happened!!"  Genma bellowed.  "How could you not
come to your father's aid in his time of need?!"     
	
	Ranko blinked.  "You were gone?  Why, that certainly explained why
there was so much food left over from last night."  

	Genma looked strangled.  "You. . ."

	Kaneda approached Ukyou.  "Pardon me asking, but. . . why exactly
did your mother want Mr. Saotome to take you along with him anyway?"

	"Yeah?  And why did she gave her yatai to Pop?" Ranko asked.

	Ukyou looked long and hard at Ranko.  "You really don't know, do
you?"

	Ranko put a hand on Ukyou's shoulder and smiled.  "Whatever it
was, let's put it all behind us and start over, okay?"

	Why that slimy little . . . Ukyou's earlier rage returned with a
vengeance as she slapped off Ranko's hand.  Ranko was startled.

	"Ucchan, what. . ."

	"Shut. Up."  Ukyou said in a cold voice as she reached for the
giant spatula on her back.  Just then, the sound of a crowd rushing by
could be heard.  She looked down onto the street and saw the contestants
of the Martial Arts Fast Food Delivery Contest rushing toward the
destination, which was already in sight.  She glared at Ranko.  "We WILL
settle this later."  With that, she leapt from rooftop to rooftop to the
chosen mansion.

	"Hey!  Childhood friend or not, I AM winning this contest."  Ranko
quickly followed suit as Kaneda and Ryoko chased after her.
What Genma was doing at that point was insignificant.

	The three contestants and one guide leapt down to the street and
quickly ran ahead of the other contestants.   All four of them passed
through the open front gate of the mansion at the same time.  Right behind
the gate were the announcer and a dozen reporters with cameras rolling.

	**AND THE WINNER IS . . . OH, IT APPEARS THAT THREE CONTESTANTS
HAVE ARRIVED AT THE SAME TIME!!!  THIS COULD GET INTERESTING.   RIGHT NOW,
THE FIRST PERSON THAT CAN GET THE LUCKY CUSTOMER TO EAT HER DELIVERY WILL
BE THE WINNER!!**

	Ranko looked around, and saw that the mansion consisted of many
luxurious, interconnected Japanese style houses in an impossibly large
Japanese style garden.  "So where exactly is the lucky customer?"  she
asked the announcer.

	**WELL . . . WE DON'T REALLY KNOW.  SOMEWHERE WITHIN THIS PROPERTY,
WE PRESUME.** The announcer replied. <After all, nobody in their right
mind would dare to look for the psychos in this house . . .>

	"You mean we have to look for him in this . . . maze?!"  Ryoko
asked incredulously.

	**THAT'S ABOUT THE ONLY WAY, MISS.**	

	Kaneda led her away.  "C'mon.  We don't want to fail at the last
step now, do we?" 
	  	
	Ranko looked around, and saw that Ukyou was nowhere in sight.
Shrugging to herself, she went in to search for the owner of the house as
well.

*		*		*		*		*
*		*

	Kaneda and Ryoko were still looking through the garden that seemed
to stretch on till infinity.  They had tried the building first, but all
of the doors were locked.  The garden was really something, with it's own
miniature rivers and forests. 

	<This place really creeps me out. . .> Ryoko thought to herself as
she walked beside a river. <What kind of people would live in a house
THIS big anyway?>  She then stole a peek at Kaneda beside her, who was
looking around for any sighs of the lucky customer. <But with Kaneda-kun
here with me, I can stay here forever!>

#################################################################

	"Oh, Kaneda-kun!  I'm so scared!  Will we ever find our way out of
this horrible place?"

	Kaneda smiled at her with that reassuring smile of his.  "It isn't
important anymore, Ryoko-chan."

	"Why not?"  Ryoko asked, already leaning toward him.

	"Because . . ."  Kaneda swept her up in his arms, eyes glistening.
"The two of us can stay here together . . .forever."  With that, he kissed
Ryoko passionately. 

	Ryoko broke off the kiss, tears in her eyes.  "But what about
Ranko?"

	"The hell with her, it's you that I want."  Kaneda replied, his
smile brilliant.  

	"Oh!  Kaneda-kun!"  Ryoko kissed him passionately with little
angels dancing in the background.

#################################################################

	  As Ryoko continued to daydream with a ear-to-ear smile on her
face, she didn't notice the large shadow following her underwater.  

	 Kaneda was sighing to himself.  This was definitely weird.  It was
almost like whoever that lived in this house was purposely hiding from
everybody despite the free delivery.  Then again, why would anyone who could
afford a house THIS big wants to have takeout food anyway?  He turned to
Ryoko, trying to start a conversation to liven up the mood, when something
gigantic shot up from the water right beside Ryoko.

	"LOOK OUT!!!"

	Shocked out of her daydream, the girl became face to face with the
mother of all crocodiles leaping out of the water at her.  Without moving
back, Ryoko gave it a slash with her kimono sleeve, and the beast howled
and flipped back into the water clutching its nose.  Water splashed
everywhere. 
		
	"That was amazing, Ryok . . . Ryoko. . ."   Kaneda looked dumbly
at the leopard cub struggling out of the kimono.  The yellow and black
furball looked acutely miserable.  He picked up the kimono and the
delivery box for Ryoko-leopard. 

	"C'mon, we will try to find some hot water somehow."  Kaneda said
as Ryoko-leopard seated itself on top of the delivery box.  It was then
that they heard the music of a Japanese lyre coming from one of the
houses. 

	"Ah!  Finally!"  Kaneda began walking toward the direction of the
lucky customer.  However, as he finally became face to face with him, his
face fell flat.   "It's you?!"

	"So we meet again, enemy of women!"  the Blue Thunder snarled, on a
throne-like structure, as he played a large oriental lyre.  "Come face my
wrath!!!"

	"Wait!  I'm not here to fight!"  Kaneda exclaimed.  Too late.  The
Kendoist had already leapt in front of him and was slashing out in complex
arcs.  Kaneda, still carrying the delivery box, leapt backwards to avoid
his strikes.

	"Meow!!!"  A blur shot out at the Blue Thunder and a split second
later, trails of red scarred one side of his face as the leopard cub leapt
off him.  The Blue Thunder narrowed his eyes in anger.  "Lowly beast!
Dare you wound the magnificent Blue Thunder?  I shall smite thee!" 

	He swiped his bokken at Ryoko-leopard, which would have connected had
Kaneda not smashed his face with the delivery box.  "Stop that, you psycho!"

	 The Blue Thunder swiped at him, causing Kaneda to leap backwards.
"Strike-Strike-Strike-Strike-Strike!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  The kendoist released
a hail of split-second blows with his bokken, and Kaneda was shocked to
discover that the air-pressure caused by the blows was actually hurting
him.   Desperately, he began to dodge and back away, trying to avoid the
blows.  Ryoko-leopard was caught in the air-pressure zone as well, and was
also driven back.  As Kaneda and the cub were pressed against the garden
wall, it suddenly flipped inward, dropping them into what appeared to be a
trap door.

	"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

*		*		*		*		*
*		*
	
	CLING!!

	"Ucchan!  Stop it!"  Ranko yelled as she ducked under another
split second swipe of the giant spatula, which crushed a random statue in
the garden.  Not long into her search, Ranko was once again ambushed by
the angry Kuonji.

 	CLANG!

	Ukyou's spatula missed Ranko once more as it slammed onto the
garden wall.  "Shut up!!  You will die for what you have done!" 

	"It's my father who broke the promise, NOT ME!!!!"  Ranko yelped.
"What are you mad at ME for?!"

	"Because YOU are the center of the promise, baka!!!"  Ukyou
shouted as she brought down the sharp edge her spatula, which hit the
ground as Ranko leapt out of the way.

	CLASH!

	"What in heaven's name is going on here?!"  The two girls stopped
fighting to see a handsome samurai stepping up to them.  His anger quickly
turned into happiness as he sported Ranko.

	"Pigtailed-girl!"  He swept Ranko off her feet and hugged her
tightly to himself.  "I've just saved you!!!"

	Ranko, still dazed by the hug, answered in a swaying voice.  "How...
so...?"
 
	"Know you not that the violent but cowardly cad has just been
defeated by the great Blue Thunder?  No longer shall he be a threat to you
or anybody else ever again!"

	Ranko immediately tensed up and grabbed him by his collar.  "What
have you done to Kaneda?!"

	The Blue Thunder smiled with pride.  "That evil villain had been
pushed into the trapdoor in the garden, where the century-old traps in the
hidden passage shall be his downfall!  Pigtailed girl, aren't you happy to
be free of his crutches?"   

	He did WHAT?!

	A psychotic glint shone through the girl's large eyes.  Lucky
customer or not, Ranko was about to kill him right there and then as
thousands of strange tentacles shot toward them.  The agile Ranko
immediately leap away as the Blue Thunder was hopelessly entangled in
them.

	Ukyou, her hands pulling on the strange tentacles, smiled
viciously.  "Kuonji Secret Technique: Cemented Fried Noodles Attack!!!"
With an elegant twist of her wrist, the ego crazed samurai was completely
mummified with industrial strength fried noodles, leaving only his head
exposed.  She then set her eyes on Ranko as she took out two rolls of
noodles from her delivery box.  "You're next, Ranko!!!"  In a kata that
looked like a rapid arm dance, thousands of noodles shot out at Ranko.

	Ranko tried to dodge, but the tentacles were too fast for her.
Her slender arms were immediately wrapped with cemented noodles.  Ranko
wasn't in the best of her moods after what the samurai told her, and was
gritting her teeth in anger.  "Ukyou!  You. . ."

	The okonomiyaki master pulled out a small pack of something from
his delivery box as Ranko struggled vainly against the noodles.  "Kuonji
Secret Technique: Flour Bomb!"  She threw the pack at Ranko, and threw a
match after it.   The result was a thousand small explosions frying the
pigtailed girl alive.

	"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

	Ukyou dusted her hands off as she smiled coldly at the smoke
filled scene in front of her. "Finally, our score had been settled."  

	"Not by a long shot."

	Out of the smoke, fried noodles whipped out and wrapped around
Ukyou, whose eyes widened in shock.  "How . . . ?!"

	The smoke cleared, showing the figure of Ranko pulling on the
noodles.  Her head was lowered, and unruly bangs covered her eyes.  "Even
if you were once my friend . . . TAKE THIS!!!!"   With that, Ranko swung
Ukyou around in circles, an maniacal glint in her eyes.  "Get a taste of
your own medicine, b____!"  She threw the taller girl up the air, and
leaped up after her, dying to vent out her grief and anger on the
offending cook.

	"Come back here and take your beatings!"

*		*		*		*		*
*		*

	Meanwhile, in a dimly lit underground passage, a boy and a leopard
cub were running through a path in which each single step taken would cause
arrows to shoot out from the walls.  The cub was doing all right, but
Kaneda was barely ahead of getting nailed as he ran forward with all the
speed that he had gained through years of training.

	<If I ever get out of this alive, that samurai wannabe is
DEAD!!!>  He swore to himself.

*		*		*		*		*
*		*

	Meanwhile, Ranko and Ukyou were continuing their fight in the
garden . . . even though it seemed more like Ukyou was desperately fleeing
from Ranko.  The announcer and the crew of reporters had caught on to
them, and were taping the entire ordeal for every Nerima citizen's
television entertainment.

	The announcer was talking joyfully to the video camera. **WOW!
THE TWO GIRLS ARE SO CONSUMED IN THEIR CAT FIGHT THAT NEITHER OF THEM
IS EVEN ATTEMPTING TO FEED THE LUCKY CUSTOMER!!  ALL THE SENSELESS
VIOLENCE . . . THIS IS CERTAINLY A MONUMENTAL MOMENT IN THE HISTORY OF THE
COMBAT DELIVERY CONTEST!!**

	Meanwhile, Ranko and Ukyou were fighting in a ferocious dance of
noodles, fists, spatulas, and feet.  The Blue Thunder, who was struggling
out of his bonds, called out to the pigtailed girl.  "Hold on, my love!
My divine assistance shall be on the way!"	
	"Who needs it?!"  Ranko shouted as she got through Ukyou's defense
and kicked her on the chest, causing her to fly through a paper door of
the traditional Japanese building.   Ranko immediately leapt in after her.
"Come back here, you!"

	As Ranko went into a luxurious living room, it was covered in a
smoke screen of flour, obscuring her view.  She went in anyway, and
continued to search.  "You can run . . ."	

	A flicker of movement out of the room caught her attention.  "But
you can't hide!!!!"  She leapt after the fleeing figure, who was
desperately running down the corridor.  The run didn't last long, as
Ranko grabbed a picture off the wall and flung it at Ukyou's leg, tripping
her up.  Ranko leap up onto the fallen girl and grabbed her from behind.
"NOW I HAVE Y . . .you . ."  Ranko unintentionally felt her chest from
behind . . . and found it to be lean and tight muscled.  Anger drained out
of her as shock took over.  ". . .you . . . are a boy?!"    

	Ukyou got out of her hold and rolled over to look up at her
with a face filled with shame and anger.  The two of them held very still
in the dim corridor.

*		*		*		*		*
*		*

	Outside, the Blue Thunder had finally freed himself from the
noodles, and stood up triumphantly.   "The Blue Thunder has risen again!!!"
He picked up his bokken and raised it up at the sky as thunder dramatized
the scene.  

	"Neat special effects . . ."  one of the camera men muttered as he
panned back to get the whole picture into his video camera.
"Wonder how the kid does it."
	
	A reporter muttered.  "Well, the Kunos are famous for making
seemingly impossible but pointless showoffs . . ."

  	The samurai spoke up as the thunders died down.  "Fear not, my
love!  Kuno Tatewaki, the Blue Thunder, shall save thee-"   His soliloquy
was rudely cut off as a foot nailed him solidly on the back of his head.

	"So, not only did you try to kill me, but you are related to Kuno
Kodachi as well . . ."  A deadly voice reached Tatewaki's ear as he turned
around, and was greeted by the sight of a VERY pissed off Kaneda with his
running suit in tatters.  A red aura was flaring around him, forcing Kuno
to step back in awe.  
	
	"This day, you die,"  Kaneda said between his gritting teeth, and
abruptly leapt up into the air.  Kuno raised his bokken to defend himself
as Kaneda came down at him with a jump-kick.  Blue lightings thundered
down the suddenly blazing red sky.   The fight was on.

	The announcer was beyond himself as he narrated the fight.  **EVEN
THE NON-CONTESTANTS ARE FIGHTING NOW!!!  THE VIOLENCE, THE BLOODSHED . . .
THE SPECTACULAR SPECIAL EFFECTS FROM BOTH OF THEM!!!  THIS IS SO F___ING
BEAUTIFULLLLLL!!!!!! . . . OOPS, WASN'T SUPPOSTED TO SAY THAT ON TELEVISON,
HEE-HEE . . .**

*		*		*		*		*
*		*

	Meanwhile, in the dim corridor of the Kuno residence, Ranko and
Ukyou-kun were quietly looking at each other.  Neither knew what to say.

	"Ucchan . . . how . . ."  Abruptly remembering something, Ranko's
eyes widened in shock.  "Oh, no . . . not you too?!"

	Ukyou-kun looked at her with a quizzical expression.  "Huh?"

 	"You fell into one of those springs, didn't you?!"  Ranko
exclaimed, and before Ukyou-kun had a chance to reply, she took out a
steaming kettle out of nowhere and poured the content onto Ukyou-kun.

	"HOTTTTT!!!!!!"  The boy yelped, and slammed Ranko to the ground
with his giant spatula.  "What the heck did you think you are doing?!"

	Ranko didn't even feel the hit.  Instead, she immediately got up
and pulled up Ukyou's androgynous shirt: the chest was as flat and lean as
before.  "You . . .YOU ARE STUCK AS A BOY!!  EVEN AFTER THE HOT WATER!!"
The pigtailed girl ran her hand all over the lean chest, checking for any
signs of plumpness.  The boy pushed it off.	

	"I've ALWAYS been a BOY, baka!!!"  Ukyou blushed as he pulled his
shirt back down.  

	"But how-!!!"  Ranko was immediately cut off by a slap on the back
of her head.  She turned around and saw Genma standing there, a resigned
expression on his face.  "Ranko, I think a re-introduction would be needed
in this case."  Rubbing the back of his bandanna clad bald head, he put up
a timid smile as he gestured to the scowling boy.  "This young man here is
your . . . eheheh . . . fiance, Kuonji Ukyou."

	C L A S H !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

	Clashing through several walls into the corridor was Kaneda,
currently burying Genma's overweight bulk through the floorboards with a
traditional fox statue that he had "borrowed" from Kuno's garden.
Dragging the middle-aged man up again, the young man glared into Genma's
broken glasses.  "HE. IS. HER. WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?"  

	"Eh . . . eheheheh . . .heheh . . ."  Genma laughed nervously.
"Young people nowadays have such acute hearing. . . a very good quality
for a successful martial artist . . ."

	Kaneda held on to Genma's collar with one hand as he began to flex
the fingers of his other hand.  Ranko walked up and looked crossly into
her father's sweating face.  "Explain.  NOW."

	Genma relented.  "All right, it was ten years ago . . ."

##########################FLASHBACK##############################
	
	It was a sunny day.  Child-Ukyou and Child-Ranko were sitting
under a tree and giggling happily as Genma and Mrs. Kuonji were talking by
the yatai.

	"What?  You want me to take Ukyou with me?"  Genma asked as he ate
the okonomiyakis that were offered to him.

	"Yes."  Mrs. Kuonji said in a sad voice.  "A woman might be able to
raise a daughter on her own.  But a son is . . . different.  Just take a
good look at Ukyou."

	Genma turned to the kids, and saw Child-Ukyou playfully tying
Child-Ranko's hair into a bun, humming a song as he did so.  
	"You see?  Being brought up by a soft woman like me has made him...
effeminate, to say the least.  He needs a REAL man to teach him how to
act like one."  Mrs. Kuonji stared Genma in the eye.  "You are a martial
artist, Mr. Saotome.  You can taught him strength and discipline.  You can
help him to become a man."

	Genma was happy to be praised like this.  "I'm flattered, Mrs.
Kuonji.  But I really can't afford to raise another child . . ."

  	Mrs. Kuonji smiled and suddenly switched the subject.  "Haven't
you noticed how much my son likes your daughter?"

	" . . . Yes . . ."

	"Wouldn't it be lovely if my son was to become your son in law?  A
girl traveling on the road would have quite a hard time finding a
husband . . ." 
	
	Genma objected.  "I am very flattered.  But Ranko has already been
engaged."

	Mrs. Kuonji looked mildly disappointed.  "And I was just about to
give you my yatai to formalize the engagement so that you would have a
livelihood and a son-in-law . . ."

	Genma suddenly took her hands in his and stared intensely into her
eyes.  "It's a deal then."

#################################################################

	"What happened afterwards was so tragic . . ."  Genma rubbed his
eyes . . . even though as usual, there were no tears.

	By then, almost everyone had crowded into the corridor, excluding
Kuno and Ryoko.  The reporters were taping the whole thing on the
side.  

	"Tragic only because of you."  Ranko muttered.	

	 Genma shot a dirty look at her.  Meanwhile, Ukyou composed
himself and spoke up in an icy voice.  "The next day, you took the yatai
and ran, leaving me and mother behind with no money and no one to turn
to."  

	The announcer was crying a river.  **OH!! THE CRUELITY OF IT
ALL!!!  HOW COULD ANYONE HAVE DECEIVED A POOR WOMAN AND HER CHILD LIKE
THIS?!** 

	Ukyou continued his tale, his eyes brazing with cold flames.
"Ever since that day when you took the family yatai and ran away, I became
a living joke among all those who knew me."
		
###########################FLASHBACK#############################

	Inside a park, Child-Ukyou was silently practicing his okonomiyaki
skills on a mini-grill as three boys were talking about him behind his
back.

	"Hey, you heard about what happened to Ukyou over there?"

	"Yeah, his mother got ripped off by some bald guy and lost her
yatai, didn't she?"

	"That was stupid."

	"Now, really, you have to understand.  The poor woman was
desperate: she can't bear with the thought of raising a sissy like
her son!"

	"Bwhahahahahahahah!!!!!"


	Without any warning, a hail of spatulas shot pass the boys,
clipping up their hair and clothes.  Standing up in a stance, with three
more spatulas on each of his hands, Child-Ukyou glared at them with pure
hatred in his eyes.  "WHAT did you call me?!"

	The boys, none of who ever even knew that Child-Ukyou could
fight, ran away in fear.   Seeing that he was finally alone, Child-Ukyou
sank onto his knees in tears.  "Saotome Genma . . . Ranko . . . I SHALL
HAVE VENGENCE!!!!!!"
	
#################################################################

	"At age six, I had began to cook in a small restaurant that used
me, the child cook, as a customer attraction.  Finally, after a year, I
could afford to buy another yatai so that the Kuonji legacy could be
resumed.  And for the rest of my life, I had devoted myself solely to the
art of my family: The Kuonji Combat Okonomiyaki Techniques.  I had become
everything that my mother could ever dream to have in her son... except..."

	"Except that you cross-dress as a girl?"  Genma asked curiously,
and was immediately slammed into Ranko's waiting fist by Ukyou' spatula.

	"I DON'T cross-dress as a girl!"  Ukyou growled.  "It's just that...
well, people just tend to take me as a girl, that's all!"

	Everybody studied Ukyou, and realized that he was indeed wearing
men's clothing.  It was his androgynous face, his rich long hair, and his
slender build that made him look like a girl.	

	"Poor kid.  No wonder he was so full of hatred,"  one of the
reporters said.

	"Of course Ukyou-kun is full of hatred,"  Genma said as he pushed
his daughter forward to Ukyou.  "C'mon, my boy.  Feel free to take it out
on her."
	
	Ranko nailed his face with a back kick.  "Why should I be the one to
get beat up when it was YOU who broke the promise and stole the yatai?!"
	    
	Genma hmphed.  "Even though I HAD already arranged a marriage for
Ranko, I couldn't just refuse Mrs.  Kuonji's offer now, could I?  So I had
asked for my daughter's opinion."

	Ranko was shocked as Ukyou's eyes widened.  "WHAT?!"

############################FLASHBACK############################
	The evening right before Genma was about to take off, he had
Child-Ranko sitting on his lap.

	"Ranko, can you answer a question with all the honesty and
sincerity of an adult?"  the man asked his daughter.
 	
	The six year old girl nodded cutely.  "Ummmm!!"

	Genma gave her an okonomiyaki, and looked into her eyes. "Do you
prefer this hot, tasty, delicious okonomiyaki?  Or do you prefer Ukyou?"

	"I prefer okonomiyaki!!!"  Child-Ranko snatched it from her
father's hand and began mouthing it down as Genma smiled.

#################################################################

	Genma sighed.  "And so the decision was made-"

	THUMP!!!!!

	Ukyou and Kaneda both slammed the giant spatula onto Genma's head,
flattening it.  "YOU SCUMBAG!!!!"

	Ukyou turned angrily to Ranko as well.  "And you . . . you
actually think that an okonomiyaki is better than me?!"

	Ranko backed up nervously.  "Hey, I was six!  I didn't even know
what it was all about!"

	**OH!!!  SUCH A HIDEOUS DECEPTION!!!  IT IS INDEED POETIC JUSTICE
THAT ALL OF THIS IS BEING REPORTED LIVE TO ALL OF OUR FAITHFUL AUDIENCE ALL
ACROSS JAPAN!!!**

	Genma shot up in sudden fear and pointed at the various
video-cameras.  "This is reported LIVE?!"

	**YES. . .**

	"Oh no!!!  All those other boys to whom I've engaged Ranko to... they
will come after us for sur..."  Genma looked around at
everybody's shocked expression, and wisely clamped his mouth shut.

	Ranko was inflating into gigantic size, towering over her father.
"Pop, you. . . JERK!!!!!!"  She growled in a demonic voice.

	"Now, now, Ranko my dear, lets not do anything
hasty-YAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"  Genma was booted through the
roof and out of the house by a super-charged kick from his daughter.

	"DON'T YOU COME BACK UNTIL YOU HAVE SORTED OUT THIS ENTIRE MESS BY
YOUSELF!!!!!"  Ranko yelled up at the hole through the ceiling as the
reporters clapped and applauded her skill.  

	"Pigtailed girl!!!"  A very bruised Tatewaki rushed into the
corridor through the holes created by Kaneda.  "I, the magnificent Blue
Thunder have come to save you!!!"

	Ranko, already annoyed and frustrated, kicked up something lying
on the floor and threw it into the samurai's raving mouth like a disc.
"JUST SHUT UP!!!"

	Kuno choked on it, and eventually swallowed the thing.  Everybody
looked intensely at Ranko as she remained frustrated and clueless.
"What?!"

	"You just threw one of Ukyou's okonomiyakis into Kuno's big-
mouth."  Kaneda said.

	**AND THE WINNER OF THIS COMPETETION IS SAOTOME RANKO,
REPRESENTING "UCCHAN'S OKONOMIYAKI", A NEW BUT REPUTABLE RESTAURANT IN THE
PLAZA STREET OF NERIMA!!!!**

	Everybody began to threw colored paper and ribbons at Ranko, who
looked confused and clueless.

	The owner of "Happy Noodles" suddenly popped up, and protested.
"But Miss Saotome here is representing MY restarant!!'

	**SORRY, BUT WHEN SHE THREW THAT OKONOMIYAKI INTO THE MOUTH OF THE
LUCKY CUSTOMER, SHE HAD ALREADY REDIRECTED HER LOYALTY TO "UCCHAN'S".**

	Ranko gave the poor man a cute but apologetic look, which he
accepted with a sigh.	
   	
	"Oh!!  My pigtailed girl.  Let the magnificent Blue Thunder
congratulate you!!"  Kuno rushed up, Kaneda glared, and choosing that
particular moment, Ryoko-leopard leapt onto Kuno and bit down; the mayhem
started all over again as the camera men continued to tape down the even
more exciting aftermath. Nobody noticed that Ukyou and Ranko had silently
disappeared.

*		*		*		*		*
*		*

	Standing on top of a particular rooftop, Ranko and Ukyou were
facing each other tensely.  Finally, Ranko spoke up in a hesitant voice.
"Are you . . . still angry at me?"

	Ukyou looked down and away, apparently struggling with himself.
Finally, he signed in a relenting manner.  "For all my life, I had wanted
to kill you for what I thought you had done.  But since it appears that
you didn't even know I was a boy . . . I guess . . . I guess it should be
me who should apologize to you."  There, he said it.  After all, under
some unwritten law passed down through the generations, a man must always
try to be forgiving toward the fairer sex. 

	Ranko's face lit up as her worries were temporarily gone.  She
skipped over and hugged him tightly to herself.  Suddenly realizing how... well
developed his childhood friend had became, Ukyou blushed.  The
pigtailed girl smiled.  "Thanks, Ucchan.  You have always been a
gentleman, even in the past . . ."

	"If I was such a gentleman, how come you couldn't even tell that I'm
a guy?"  Ukyou asked sulking.

	"Well, it is because . . ."  Ranko scratched her head, trying to
come up with an excuse.  "You're so pretty that you look like a girl?"

	"Gee, thanks.  That SURELY makes me feel a whole lot better."
Ukyou said in a depressed tone of voice as he tossed back his long hair. 	
		    	 
	"C'mon, Ucchan, just because you are . . . androgynous, it doesn't
mean that you are not manly.  I mean, I takes a real man to be able to
either forgive or apologize, and you have done both in a sentence."

	"You . . . you really think so?"  Ukyou asked in surprise.

	"Yeah.  I mean, with your looks, determination, and combat skills,
I can hardly think of anyone more manly than you."

	Ukyou's eyes sparkled with hope as he held onto her hands.  Nobody
had ever think of him as a man before.  "Ranko . . ."  

	"I'm sure that lots of girls will flock around you."  Ranko
continued, trying to cheer up Ukyou.  "I mean, the fiance that Pop set me
up with have girls fawning all over him, yet he's nowhere near as manly as
you."

	"Is that so?" A fuming Kaneda suddenly popped up between them,
startling them both.

	"Weren't you supposed to be fighting back there?"  Ranko asked.
Kaneda simply hmphed.

	Ukyou blinked.  "Kaneda?  You are Ranko's other fiance?"

	Kaneda closed his eyes in disdain.  "Please!  It was just a stupid
promise by our parents.  Stupid dad, getting me stuck with this tomboy..."

	Ranko retorted.  "Like I want to be engaged to an insensitive,
unskilled wimp like you!!" 	

	Ukyou studied them with interest.  "You two don't get along, do
you?"	

	"Isn't that obvious?"  Kaneda shouted over his head then continued
to quarrel with Ranko.

	Taking a mini-grill seemingly out of nowhere, Ukyou's hands
disappeared in a rapid blur as he fried an okonomiyaki with inhuman speed.

	"Ucchan, what . . ."

	"Kuonji Technique!!!"   Ukyou shouted as he fling the okonomiyaki
at Ranko, who caught it with a slightly guarded look.  That look quickly
turned into a flush as she took a good at the okonomiyaki.

	A banquet of roses was skillfully painted onto the okonomiyaki
with several shades of bright-colored sauces.  Ukyou smiled at the
blushing girl.  "Let the bygones be bygones.  From now on, you will be
Ranchan to me once more."  With that, he leapt up over a higher rooftop
and disappeared.

	"Hmmm. . . roses huh?"  Kaneda said, looking sideways at Ranko.
"And from such a "manly" guy too."

	Ranko looked curiously at him.  "What?  Are you jealous?"  

	SPLASH!!

	Taking a water gun seemingly out of nowhere, Kaneda activated
Ranko's curse with a nasty smile.  "Not. A. Chance.  Have a nice walk
home."  With that, he leaped off the rooftop and disappeared.

	"Jerk!!"  Ranma muttered, and looked down at the miniskirt on HIS
body.  Smiling to himself, he pulled it over his head . . . and revealed
that he was wearing a tank top and a boxer underneath it.  "He didn't think
I was stupid enough to wear WOMEN's underwear after this damn curse now,
did he?" 

	Looking at the roses on his okonomiyaki, he sighed.  If Ukyou was
feeling what Ranma thought he was feeling toward him, then things would get
complicated in the future.  Heh, as if they weren't complicated enough as
it was.  

	<Oh, well.  There is only one thing that I can do about it now.>

	With that, he happily munched on the okonomiyaki, filling his mouth
with the almost forgotten, now much improved taste of the ever appetizing
Kuonji specialty.  

                         END PART 5          April 30, 1997  

Criticisms and comments are welcome at:
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note:  This address will expire by June, 97.  Please check the
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