Help help help guys - need help editing and doing a sanity on this (my
first continuation fic suitable for public consumption)
Okay - Mandatory First Post Stuffage:
This is my first Attempt at a fanfic - I need C&C
(unfortunately that's comments and criticism)
Please send me responses to this at god@heaven.com.. no wait .. that's
not me
I also need people who are willing to proofread for me.
Ranma 1/2 is the creation of Rumico Takahashi: My use of her
characters is without official permission and is intended for the non
profit amusement of other Ranma 1/2 fans out there. No Infringement
of the creators copyright or her authorized publishers or distributors is
intended: If you like this stuff go buy the real thing it's better; and
the
cash will make Viz happy. (mayby we'll get lucky and they'll go back
to releasing a tape every month!....Naw)
Ps. - this is a continuation fic - meant to pick up at the end of volume
38 - unfortunately I have only read synopsis's of 38 - my copy should
be in about the time pigs learn to fly (And Ranma booting P-chan
doesn't count)
Quick notes:
"" - quotes for spoken text.
<<>> - thought bubbles.
{} - sound effects.
Ranma 1/ 2 -- Actions Speak Louder
Episode 1 -- The Day After
The roof tiles of the Tendo Dojo were gleaming with the last
rays of sunset. Occasionally a tile would ring as it shrank in the
cooling evening breezes. It had been an unusually warm spring day
and promised to be a beautiful night. Birds called to each other and
cherry blossoms floated on the breeze. All things considered it was a
very romantic evening; the kind that brings couples together and
creates memories that last a lifetime; well most couples at least....
Ranma relaxed on the roof in no mood to enjoy the romantic
setting. He had his arms behind his head and was doing his best to
ignore the pain from the bruises on his jaw and chest.
"Aw that dumb Akane. Everything was going so well this morning;
why couldn't everybody just leave me alone for once? And why does
Akane assume that everything that happens is my fault? "
------Obligatory Flashback #1-------
It was morning at the Tendo's (It was in the rest of Nerima
too coincidentally); breakfast had been cleared away and an air of
solemnity pervaded the living room. Nodaka, Genma and Ranma had
returned as house guests after the wedding fiasco last weekend.
Kasumi was hanging up wash outside; Nodaka was helping with the
housework. Ranma and Akane were at the table with their fathers.
Nabiki was lying on the floor going over the family books.
After taking a deep breath Soun Tendo began to speak.
"Akane, Ranma. After the disaster this weekend we cannot afford to
have another wedding soon. Also there is the matter of Ranma's other
suitors."
"Humph, its all your fault Ranma.."
"Hey I didn't invite that entire circus here.."
"Baka - what did you expect to happen.."
"Hey tomboy you were mixing it up with the rest of them!"
"ENOUGH! Ranma, Akane; for now the game is in overtime. You must work
to resolve some of the conflicts in your lives- as your family it is
our duty to make sure you do this. You are honor bound to be married
and to carry on the school of anything goes martial arts; As your
fathers we will make sure you do this even at the cost of our very
lives!"
Genma looked surprised at Soun's vehemence; he seemed to be concerned
about the bit about paying with their lives - it sounded too much like
his promise to Nodaka for his comfort.
Nodaka leaned in from the kitchen.
"Besides you two - we'll only be staying here for a short time for
Ranma to finish the school year and to have our house prepared. Then
we'll be moving out and you won't see each other very much, unless you
put a lot of effort into it. You should make the most of this time."
Akane had a strange unreadable look on her face - as did Ranma
- it was obvious that they both felt strongly about this subject.
Neither said anything - which architecturally and medically speaking
was probably best. Genma seemed to get a bright idea, but for once
kept it to himself and merely began smiling like a cat at a
dogcatcher's convention.
"Shouldn't you two get to school?"
Nodding in relief the young couple didn't argue the point at
all; but instead merely picked up their school bags and making their
good-byes rushed off to school. As they passed through the Dojo gates
Ranma pulled Akane aside.
"Akane there's something I need to say.."
"Yes Ranma? This isn't anything weird is it?"
"No you kawai-Arg! Just listen for a second this isn't easy for me OK!"
Akane looked a little steamed but held back any comments she
might have had. She was however reaching behind her back somewhat
suspiciously.
"Akane, I didn't have a chance to say anything after the w- w- you
know. But I've been thinking and I want to say .."
"Yes?"
"Um - - thank you. You were willing to get stuck with me just so
I would have a chance at a cure for my curse. Even though the whole
thing was a disaster; I appreciate what you were trying to do."
"Ranma... you're welcome."
"The next time I see Happosai he dies though!"
Akane smiled a little.
"I'll be glad to help Ranma, the old hentai made a huge mess. It was
sure nice to see Ryoga so upset about you loosing your chance at a
cure. He must like you a lot more than he'll admit"
"Uh yah, that was rather nice of him." Ranma said in the best deadpan
he could muster.
Akane was grimacing again.
"And Ukyou and Shampoo. They had no business throwing bombs around
like that! Dad or your parents could have been hurt! Or Kasumi and
Nabiki! A lot of the wedding guests weren't martial artists; there
could have been people killed!"
Akane really had her steam up now.
"And KODACHI!! IF THERES ONE PERSON I COULD GO MY WHOLE LIFE WITHOUT
EVER SEEING AGAIN ITS KODACHI! I'D LIKE TO TIE HER UP IN HER OWN
RIBBONS AND TOSS HER IN THE SEA OF JAPAN!!!!"
"Um yeah Akane.. heh well shouldn't we get going? We've been out of
school for a while now.. Wouldn't do to be late"
Ranma grabbed Akane by the hand and started running towards
the high school. It wasn't that he was worried about being late
really; but letting Akane get worked up when he was the only
convenient target was more or less a guaranteed way of ensuring a
visit to Tofu-Sensei. Surprisingly Akane didn't pull away or yell at
him. She just began running like she also was worried about getting to
school on time. She didn't take her hand from Ranma's though; and
something that looked suspiciously like a smile was stuck on her face.
As they approached Furinkan High School they slowed down and
reflexively straightened their clothes and took a half step away from
each other.
"Nihao!!!!!"
Shampoo's bicycle landed on the fence with a screech. She
looked confused for a moment as she realized she had not done her
usual 'good-morning' style faceplant on Ranma.
"Husband not feeling well? Why you no say hello to Shampoo?"
"Er.. Shampoo.." Ranma was at a loss for words. After all this lovely
young woman had been trying to kill him only yesterday.
Akane had developed a nervous twitch in one eyebrow and was
headed for meltdown. Upon sighting Shampoo her battle aura had lit up
like a solar flare in a fireworks factory.
"Shampoo so happy to see airen! Ranma want very special ramen Shampoo
make for him?"
"Shampoo what do you think you're doing?"
Ranma unfortunately could not see Akane behind him; and in his
usual oblivious manner was totally blind to the dangerous atmosphere
building around him. Perhaps as a side effect of the fact that their
families were the only ones to practice the 'Anything goes' form of
martial arts Ranma had found that ever since he and Akane had started
sparring together that he did not feel danger when she was about to
perform an act of violence upon him. Perhaps this was indicative of
some deeper level of feeling of understanding; perhaps it was a sign
that he chronically underestimated her; perhaps he loved her so much
that she was a blind spot for him - a weakness in his fighting style.
Or maybe he was just stupid. At any rate Ranma was now at one of those
cruxes that occurs for men in general (and Ranma in particular) the
lower instincts of his body were waging all out war on the higher
instincts of intellect and honor. Had Ranma been the type that thought
before acting he would probably have begun rebuking Shampoo for her
callous attack on his wedding ceremony- even if he had not been
entirely ready to get married explosives are not a welcome wedding
present. And had his honorable nature won his first thought would have
been that Akane could have been hurt. As strongly as he felt about
that he should have turned his back on Shampoo if not attacking her.
But unfortunately at that moment a stray breeze chose to carry the
smell of the dish to him.
"Hey that smells pretty good.."
"Ranma NO BAKA!!!!"
Akane's hammer smashed Ranma through the chainlink fence and
into the ditch beyond. Shampoo and her bicycle toppled into the water
after him. Ranma-chan rapidly surfaced followed by Shampoo-neko and
proceeded to violate the laws of gravity, hydrodynamics and at least
two major religions by levitating to the surface of the water and
tearing off into the streets of Nerima.
"BAKA.. baka, baka, baka..."
Akane strode off to school her mood considerably worse than it
had been only moments before. After a moment's thought she followed
the trail of destruction to where it inevitably ended - with
Ranma-chan imbedded in a wall. Shampoo-neko was unconscious on the
ground next to her. Akane grabbed Ranma-chan by the scruff of the neck
and marched toward Tofu-sensei's clinic.
At the clinic Akane set some water on to warm while Dr. Tofu
examined Ranma.
"Hmm. Akane how are you doing today?" Dr. Tofu sounded genuinely
concerned about something. "After having a wedding broken up like that
most people would still be in shock. After all a very important day
for you was ruined. If you feel you need to talk about it or do
something you probably should."
Dr. Tofu turned to Akane and encouraged her to speak giving
her his full attention.
"I don't know Dr. Tofu - I was so angry when it happened; but so much
has happened this year that I almost was sure that something like this
would happen anyway. I am ............ disappointed a little. But the
wedding was kind of forced on me; so it was almost a relief when the
fight started."
Akane hadn't noticed that Ranma had come to and was paying
attention to what she said.
"I mean - I .. I .. like Ranma and all but this is all so sudden!
Aren't you supposed to be sure about the person you marry? Even if I
was sure of how I felt about Ranma he's always leading other girls on!
I mean look at it from my point of view; he's got Ukyou, Shampoo,
Kodachi and just about every sophomore girl at Furinkan drooling over
him. He even flirts with Tatewaki and Ryoga in his girl form! And he's
never even asked me out once..."
Ranma-chan had been about to say something about dating a
kawaiikune girl; but something in Akane's tone of voice stopped her.
She laid back and closed her eyes. Akane and Tofu-sensei chose that
moment to look over at her. Akane looked a little sad; maybe a little
wistful; perhaps a touch angry -- and very kawaii. Of course Ranma's
eyes were closed. Dr. Tofu began checking Ranma-chan for signs of a
concussion or other serious injury. Ranma-chan opened her eyes again.
"Hello again Tofu-sensei. Funny how we keep meeting this way huh?"
"Maybe if you weren't such a fool Ranma.."
"Now, now Akane -- Yelling at her doesn't accomplish anything. Please
go see if the water is ready."
"Hai Sensei.."
A few minutes later Akane and Ranma were once again on their
way to school.
----End Flashback----
The sun was down now; and the night was growing cool. Ranma
shifted on the roof, the warm tiles felt good through his thin shirt.
He could hear people moving around downstairs; and the sound of
traffic in the nearby streets. It was if the city was singing a gentle
lullaby as the stars came out.
"Ranma! Dinner is ready!"
Kasumi was calling into the yard. No doubt she expected him to
be in the dojo practicing. Ranma sat up and stretched. With a lithe
movement he bounded to his feet and began walking to the edge of the
roof where he could easily lower himself to the ground.
"Oh there you are Ranma. Please go clean up for dinner; everything
will be ready in a few moments. Akane has worked especially hard
tonight"
Ranma managed to roll with the fall and avoid any serious
damage; however it was several moments before the fit of gagging
passed.
"Are sick Ranma? You look green."
"I'll be ok Kasumi - what is Akane cooking?"
"She helped your mother with the sashimi. She's been working very hard.
I think it would mean a lot to her if you tried it."
"Er Thanks Kasumi. I'll go clean up."
Ranma walked back towards the house. He had gotten his stomach
under control again and was trying unsuccessfully to hype himself up
for the task ahead.
<<Ok. So Akane's cooking has been bad in the past; possibly even
atrocious. But it hasn't killed anyone yet! Of course there's always
a first time...>>
Ranma walked into the bathroom and washed his hands and face
(lukewarm water of course).
<<Ok. Sushi - there's a minimum number of things that could go wrong
with that; right? Mom would probably make sure the meat was cleaned
properly and if all she did was slice it? Of course Akane could have
selected the fish- um what kind was it that was poisonous again? How
did you tell?>>
"Oh man oh man oh man.. that kawaiikune girl is going to kill me if I
don't try her food. And the food will kill me if I do eat it. I wish I
had another option.. but Shampoo is out; and Ukyou... well"
------Hey Wow, Its Flashback #2!!!-------
The school bell was ringing; outside Tatewaki Kuno lay in the
dirt contemplating his newest matched set of concussions. The damage
to his frontal lobes was minimal as the bone mass of that particular
part of his head had increased dramatically in the last 8 months for
some reason. The only adverse effect of this was that his speech had
become more and more parochial of late; but for some reason no one had
really noticed.
Ranma and Akane had skidded into home room with seconds to
spare - which was good enough for their teacher since every time they
went into the hall a fight inevitably resulted. Usually there was one
if he kept them in class but the odds were slightly in his favor this
way.
"Class - Turn in your assignments for the weekend - put away your
books - we are having a pop quiz on last weeks material !"
Ranma had the look of a deer in the headlights of an oncoming
truck. Akane after a moment of panic had turned a furious look at
Ranma - as if daring him to say that this was not his fault. It was
then that she saw Ukyou. Ukyou had disappeared immediately after the
fight was broken up at the wedding. She was back in her 'Boy' mode
again; her breasts bound and her hair tied back without a ribbon - it
seemed as if she was trying as little as possible to be 'Kuonji Ukyou
the "cute" iinazuke' - that didn't matter to Akane.
"Saotome Ranma! Tendo Akane! Where are your assignments?"
"Er Sensei .. we've been out of town on a ..." Ranma stalled.
"family Emergency." Akane finished; shooting Ranma a look that could
break bricks.
"That is no excuse! Why did you not call for your assignments! - I
know you have been back in town for a few days!"
There was hardly a way out of this one; anyone who didn't know
about the wedding in Nerima had to be insane or dead; and most of the
insane had been invited or had barged in.
"Hai sensei-" the two replied.
"Gomen nasai" Akane added.
"Humph. I am feeling generous today- do as best you can on the exam
and you have until after lunch to complete the weekends homework and
get it to me."
Akane looked a little more hopeful but that quickly passed
when she saw the subject matter of the exam. Ranma assumed his usual
air of nonchalance- he had long ago determined that random answers
would net him a barely passing grade since most professors seemed
unwilling to tell him he had failed at anything - to him this was
enough of a victory of a kind. So as Akane struggled with Euclidean
Geometry, Ranma drew random circles on the paper and copied the
answers of the students around him using the Saotome school of
anything goes martial arts "hey what's that?" technique.
(For those that are interested Akane got a B- for her efforts and
Ranma managed to copy off of a B student but was graded a C for not
having clearer proofs for his work)
At lunch Akane and Ranma sat with their friends. Akane was too
busy doing homework to bother with a fight. Her friends had taken pity
on her and were helping her out as best they could with what they
remembered from the assignment. Ranma was sporadically working on the
homework but it looked like a lost cause- his friends were too busy
laughing and prodding him for information on the wedding. A shadow
fell across the group.
"Gomen....."
Ranma looked up to see Ukyou. She looked as if she were about
to burst into tears or fall down sobbing. Part of his heart went out
to her and part wanted to scream. She had been as much of a problem as
Shampoo- going nuts like that was totally out of character for her
though and she was one of Ranma's closest friends. He knew he should
say something he just wasn't sure what. Akane in her own way solved
the problem though: She stood up and slapped her.
Ukyou fell as if struck dead, even Akane looked surprised.
Ranma checked her pulse - she was fine but it looked like she had
fainted. And she was crying now; rows of tears ran down her cheeks;
and she began to curl up into a fetal position.
"Akane - I know you're mad but did you have to kill her?"
Akane suddenly looked concerned as well.
"Is she ok?"
"I think she's just fainted; but she's acting weird. I think we should
take her to Dr. Tofu's."
"But the homework?"
Ranma gave the few pages of scratch paper he had to Daisuke.
"Drop these off will ya ?"
Akane sighed and handed her work to her friends as well. She
followed Ranma as he carried Ukyou to the clinic. She was still mad at
Ukyou but kicking her while she was down wouldn't make her feel any
better.
Dr. Tofu told them that Ukyou was in shock and that she would
probably be fine in a couple of hours. He put her in a room and let
her sleep and told the pair that he would take care of her.
Ranma and Akane returned to school to pick up their things. On
the way home they were stopped by a familiar Bwee!! .
"Bwee? Bwee, bwee." P-Chan said brightly (well who did you think it
was?).
Akane was overjoyed to find her chronically lost pet. Ranma
just buried his face in his hands.
------End Flashback--------
"Okay, so Ucchan's is out as a possibility. Even if she is feeling
better; I'm not sure it's safe to forgive her yet."
Ranma sat at the table and prepared himself for the horrors
that lay ahead.
Nodaka was pleasantly surprised. Her son was sitting
pleasantly at the table; not arguing with anyone. He looked, however,
like a man resigned to his fate; as if, Tanto blade held steady, he
was ready to die with honor, if that was all he could do.
<<Oh Good he's going to try Akane's cooking!>> She thought to herself.
Ranma thoroughly examined each of the dishes that was brought
to the table; he waited for it all to arrive rather than pigging out
like he usually did. For some reason everyone seemed to be waiting for
something as well. He realized that this was a test; and he was the
guinea pig in some hideous lab experiment of the Tendo's; no doubt
when he turned purple, fell over and died, Nabiki would whip out a
checklist and start taking notes on what had happened while Kasumi
cleaned up the mess left by his thrashing corpse. Well maybe not; but
sometimes you have to wonder; they all knew how bad a cook Akane was.
There was a strong acrid smell. This was not a good sign.
Ranma began to check the food for danger signs. Rice - White, Fluffy -
Kasumi brought it in - ok the rice was probably safe. Sashimi -
mangled but recognizable as something both aquatic and most likely not
toxic - Akane had carried it in - Sashimi questionable. Pickles -
looked like they were out of a can - Kasumi's also. Salad - Mom had
made it - he had seen her finish it himself. Ranma let out a sigh of
relief; maybe he would live after all.
Ranma helped himself to some of each dish and took the tea
glass Kasumi passed him. The smell was still there, a little stronger
now that the food was closer, maybe it was just a new salad dressing?
He decided to the get the worst part over with first. Picking up a
lump of rice with a slice (chunk, lump, hunk, organ) of fish he said a
quick Shinto prayer (Hey kids it's never too late to get religion!).
After a few seconds chewing he realized he wasn't going to die. The
fish tasted.. strange.. like it had been seasoned with something
unusual, but it wasn't anything he couldn't handle.
"Hey Akane this is okay! Did you really help with it?"
"Of course baka, what kind of idiot would I be if I couldn't slice a
fish?"
Ranma was about to ask her what kind; but since his tea glass
was already part way to his mouth he took a drink instead. It was the
last mistake he made for a while.
"I helped with the tea too- Ranma? Ranma what's the matter?"
Nabiki was sniffing her tea-
"Hey sis, what did you put in this? It smells like something out of
chem. lab."
"Just that bottled water in the kitchen and some fresh tea leaves. Why
what's wrong with it?"
"Akane dear - the only bottle in the kitchen was the cooking vinegar I
had out for the salad"
Nodaka sounded a little worried - maybe it was the odd color
of Ranma's face; then again maybe it was the purple froth on his lips.
"Oh, that's bad huh?"
"And Akane - we don't have any tea leaves. The only fresh leaves in
the kitchen are some weeds I haven't composted yet. I wanted to ask
Dr. Tofu about them - I hadn't ever seen them before."
Kasumi as usual was smilingly serving food ( but not tea) to
the rest of the family.
Akane looked disappointed. After a sniff she pushed her tea
away from her and took a glass of water Kasumi offered.
"And I tried so HARD!"
Nodaka laid a hand on Akane's shoulder and gave her a motherly
smile of encouragement.
"Don't worry; your cooking is improving, you just need to be a little
more careful of your ingredients."
"Yes daughter, your efforts make me proud!" Soun began to bawl.
"Gurgle" Ranma added unhelpfuly.
After dinner had been cleared away; and Ranma moved into the
bathroom where his fits wouldn't bother everyone so much, Akane sat
down to begin catching up on her homework.
"Hey Nabiki, how much for help with math?"
"For you sis only 100 yen an hour. If Ranma needs help, well I'm sure
we can work out a payment plan somehow."
"Never mind"
"Bwee!"
"I see P-chan is back."
"Yes, Ranma and I found him on the way home today in the street. I
don't know why he keeps wandering off like that."
"Hmm I think I might know how to help keep P-chan from running
away so much. C'mere "
Akane leaned over towards Nabiki who whispered something
to her.
"Oh I don't know about that- isn't it awfully expensive?"
"No not really; and I'll help you pay for it. And it should make P-chan
less aggressive too - maybe then he and Ranma won't fight so much."
"Arigato oneechan. Maybe I should see about Ranma too?"
Both girls began to giggle.
P-chan was worried. He didn't know what Akane and Nabiki
were talking about but if it made him less aggressive it might not be
good. But what if it did help him from wandering off? He could think
of only a couple of people he would trust enough to ask and the only
one close enough for him to find within a few days was Ranma. And he
was busy puking his guts out.
Ranma's heaving had finally subsided. He was in the bath now;
relaxing and letting his body heal from the punishment it had taken.
His throat felt like he had swallowed razor blades. And his head still
spun from whatever crazy herb Akane had used. He didn't hear it when
the bathroom door opened.
<<Oh man I wonder if she hates me that much; or if she's just that
dangerous around food.>>
{Splash}
"Hey Ranma wake up!"
"Hmm. What? Ryoga! ack {Cough, cough}"
"Shh. Ranma I need a quick answer!"
"Gees Ryoga - couldn't it wait till I was out of the tub?"
"No, and besides I don't have time to go find you."
"Ok, ok what is it?"
Ryoga didn't mention that Akane had made plans to take him to
the veterinarian tomorrow after school.
Ranma slept on the roof that night. The tiles were still warm
and the stars were bright. Akane and he hadn't fought any more that
evening. But she had called him baka again for not spending more time
on his homework. But all things considered - it was good day.
-------------------------End Episode 1---------------------
Okay - I need comments people - Hows the characterization? Hows the
writing style?
I'm especailly concerned about weather the conversations are clear or if
dialouge is too
confused.
Lemme know _
Kent Armstrong
(gee no sigfile )
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