Subject: Help... Need C&C about story idea.
From: "Jonathan Lavallee" <newranma@hotmail.com>
Date: 5/1/1997, 11:13 AM
To: fanfic@fanfic.com




Hello everybody.

I've actually started writing a draft for a second generation story (I'm sorry), 
and I want to know what people think of this story line.
(If you don't like it, please don't hit me)


The first pair is (gulp) Ranma and Akane: (I know it's been done to death but I 
don't really mind)

   Every thing is not all right in paradise.  Ranma and Akane fight, not as much 
as they used to but enought and usually over:
1) Ranma not wanting Akane to take up martial arts again
2) The fights that Ranma and his son get into.

Ranma has lost a lot of his edge, his basic martial arts is there because he's 
been teaching a lot of students but he hasn't had time to train himself.  Thus 
he hasn't pull a (help me with the spelling)
Kaccu Tenchin Amagurriken (I hope a spelt that right)or a Moko Takabishia or a 
Hiryu Shoten Ha since he was about 20.  He and Akane are both 35.  They have 3 
children, two girls and one boy.  I don't have names for the elder daughter or 
the son but the younger one is called Sakura and has her fathers love of martial 
arts and her mothers temper.  The elder daughter acts strangly like Kasumi and 
the son absolutely hates his father for teaching him martial arts and (I hope 
this is origional. . . probably not) has recieved his curse throught heredity.  
He blames all his problems on his father and picks fights with him when ever he 
can.

The next pairing is Ukyo and (a hope people forgive me) Tatewaki Kuno:

   Ukyo was so distrought over Ranma and Akane's wedding that she didn't attend, 
much to Ranma's dismay.  After a while she fell into a big depression but Kuno 
came after his break up with Nabiki feeling much the same way.  Now they are 
happily married and are the anchors that both of them cling to.
   Now most of you are probably asking about Kuno.  First of all he hates being 
called Kuno, what happened was Kodachi had spent a majority of the family 
fortune on assassins that were planning to kill Akane.  Finally she was caught 
by the police and arrested.  This stained the family name and Kuno no longer 
wants anything to do with his family.  He runs the Kuonji dojo which is located 
right next to Ucchan's Okonomiyaki.(I'll explain his relationship with Nabiki 
later)
   They have two children the younger male is interested in the Okonomiyaki 
business while the daughter wishes to run the dojo.  Fortunetly (depending on 
how you look at it.).

Next is (oh I hope no one minds) Shampoo and Mousse:

I know that this is cliche and not many people (I've found) like this match but 
bear with me.  If you have read my other story about these two you will 
understand (who's child is this).  They are friends to Ranma and Akane and help 
them whenever they can.  They have one child named Rinse (I'll explain later) 
that's 19, looks like her mother and fights like her father.  She kept this a 
secret from her parents but she changes into both a cat and a duck depending on 
what animal she was last.

Now on to Nabiki:

She has raised the fourth largest company in Japan.  Her personal wealth is 
amazing.  During her twenties she had a little encounter with Tatewaki where she 
did a lot of experimenting.  Later she found out that she didn't like him at all 
so she dumped him. . . hard.  But it was too late, she was pregnant and later 
had her son.  Now her son is even more devious than she is, and has often 
tricked his mother into doing things much to her delight and annoyance.  If he 
continues to be the way he is he could concievably move her company up the 
corporal ladder.


WARNING!!!!   WARNING!!!!   WARNING!!!! WARNING!!!! WARNING!!!!

This is a warning, I'm going to talk about Ryoga and if you are a big Ryoga fan 
you might not want to read further.  This may offend, and if it does offend you 
don't say I didn't warn you.

Ryoga:

After the wedding he spent the better part of the time training himself intensly 
with one purpose.  To take Akane away from Ranma.  Ryoga patiently bided his 
time (now if you haven't noticed he is a bit nuts now).  Now he's coming back to 
get what he thinks he deserves.


Now I don't know much about Akari or Konatsu or others like that so I didn't put 
them in, sorry.


Anyway that's the story idea, I hope people can give me some constructive 
criticism.  Just send the message to newranma@hotmail.com (no flames please, 
I've apologized if I offend many times)

Thanks again.
"The bride was radiant like brides always are - or did you know that
  brides are radian and bride grooms are always nervous.
  Does that suggest to you who really run the world."

Belgarath the Sorcerer by David Eddings
(Well more or less) :{)>

See ya!

Jonathan Lavallee (otherwise known as new)

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