What has gone before: Tendou Akane never existed in this history.  Ranma's
only fiancee is Ukyou, and Genma and Souun hate it.  The school still believes
Ranma to be a girl and Ukyou a boy.  Ryouga is Ranma's pet pig Charlotte,
and Shampoo is in China, forced to give up her deadly vendetta against Ranma.

                                    TENDOU 2/3
                                 by Ken Arromdee
                     Chapter 12: The Night During the Carnival

    Ranma, male now that it was Saturday afternoon, and Ukyou walked down the
streets of Nerima.  Ukyou clung to Ranma like dough to a badly oiled spatula,
and Ranma was showing twinges of embarassment, but did his best to remain
stoic in the face of Ukyou's advances without disappointing her.
    The weather was still sunny, but every so often a sudden gust of wind sent
papers flying down the street.  As Ranma glanced towards the horizon at the
oncoming clouds, wondering why he always seemed to attract water, Ukyou
spotted something coming towards them.  "Hey, isn't that...?", she asked.
    Coming towards them from the direction of the rainclouds was a small pig
wearing a bandanna, with a piece of wet paper plastered to his face.  Ranma
grinned evilly.  "Hello Ryouga."

    Ranma caught the pig and picked him up by the bandanna, while Ukyou
removed the paper.  "Or should I say, Charlotte?", continued Ranma while the
pig struggled in his grasp.
    Ukyou read the paper.  "Chinese festival, next two weeks."  She looked at
Ranma.  "Hey, Ran-chan, don't tease the poor guy like that.  Let him go to
find some hot water."
    "Ucchan", replied Ranma, "he couldn't find the Tokyo Tower on his own,
let alone hot water.  Besides, those clouds are going to get here any minute,
anyway."
    "Say, Ranma, why don't you take me to the Chinese Festival?" asked Ukyou.
    Ranma blinked.  "Uh, you mean like on a da-- dat---...?"
    Ukyou considered Ranma's reaction.  Maybe she was pushing him too hard?
But for Ranma, any push at all was pushing too hard.  Oh, well.  "Not if you
don't want it to be, Ran-chan.  Let's just go as friends, okay?  After the
rain stops?"
    "Uh...  hai.  Sure, anything you want."

    The clouds came, bringing a summer shower.  Ranma and Ukyou walked as
best they could under shelters and building overhangs, but by the time it had
stopped, Ranma had still gotten wet enough to change to female.  Ukyou seemed
not to mind, just rearranging her hair and lowering her voice a bit, while
still clinging to Ranma as female Ranma's fiancee.  As the sun peeked out
behind the clouds, Charlotte struggled again in Ranma's grasp.
    Ukyou indicated a shop just outside the festival.  "Maybe you can get some
hot water in there."
    "I don't know about that, Ucchan.  The rain's going to start up again
soon anyway.  It wouldn't do much good."  Charlotte bit Ranma's hand, and the
startled teen dropped him anyway.
    Unfortunately for Ryouga, he never made it to the shop.  A long-haired
young man wearing Chinese garb and a porcelain face mask leapt out of the
shadows, to land right in front of Ranma and the fleeing pig.
    "Who are you?" gasped Ukyou.
    The young man lifted his hands, and threw out a multitude of chains and
ropes.  Ranma and Ukyou each leapt over them without effort, but they wrapped
around his real target: the pig.  He reeled Charlotte in and held up the
chains, then started to answer Ukyou.
    "My name is Mousse!" announced the strange young man while removing his
mask.  "And you must be Ukyou Kuonji, he said, while looking at Ranma.  "I
captured your fiancee, Ranma Saotome.  If you want her back, I'll be waiting
at the Chinese festival at 7 in the big tent.  I challenge you, Ukyou, to a
duel!"  He tossed Ukyou and Ranma a ticket, then vanished.
    Both Ukyou and Ranma were dumbfounded.  Finally, Ranma spoke up.
    "Well, at least we got a free ticket."

    The festival was a lot of fun.  Ranma didn't do well at the goldfish game
until Ukyou suggested that she use martial arts.  "Ran-chan, remember when
you hit Mikado 518 times in one second?  You already have the ability to move
your hands at that speed.  All you have to do is think of it as a real martial
art."
    Ranma turned slightly red at the memory of the incident, but recovered.
"I never lose at anything that's martial arts!"  Within no time, she grabbed
all the goldfish and traded them in for a red and white Chinese robe, carefully
picking one without too many flowers or other feminine designs on it.
    Later, they ate dinner.  Both of them tasted the food, which had been
described as Chinese ramen with pork.  Ranma told Ukyou between mouthfuls
"It's not bad...  but it's not much like Chinese food either."  Ukyou nodded,
having been to China too and experienced the taste of genuine food from there.
    Ukyou pointed to a clock.  "Say, Ran-chan?"
    "Hai, Ucchan?"
    "Aren't you forgetting something?"
    "I don't think so.  Besides I want to get another egg roll."
    "What about Ryouga?  It's 7 PM.  Time for the duel."
    "He'll be okay", answered Ranma.  "I'm still hungry."
    "But you can't use the free ticket if we don't go now..."
    Ranma's expression changed.  "Thanks for reminding me!"  She swallowed an
egg roll in three seconds, and raced off with Ukyou to find Mousse's tent.

    Ranma and Ukyou pushed aside the flap of canvas and entered.  The show
had already started.  First, a few acrobats did some stunts, one even riding a
unicycle, but Ranma was singularly unimpressed.  "I could do that, Ucchan."
Next, two Chinese girls did a magic trick where a six foot tall pear tree
appeared out of nowhere from beneath a sheet.  Ranma recognized the girls as
Pink and Link, and the "trick" as not being exactly the kind of magic one would
expect in the show.  She and Ukyou waved at them, and they waved back and
tossed Ranma a pear.
    Mousse walked out on stage.  "Now for a _special_ challenge."  He motioned
to his assistant to come forwards, as he himself disappeared behind the
curtain.
    The assistant held out Charlotte.  "This is Ranma Saotome.  It belongs
to..."  Ranma screamed out "I'm Ranma Saotome.  That's not Ranma Saotome,
that's Ryo-- that's my pig Charlotte!"
    Mousse put on his glasses and peeked out through the opening in the
curtain.  "Hmm, yes it is", he mused.  "No matter."
    The assistant continued.  "Will Ukyou Kuonji come up here please?"
    Ukyou stood up.  Ranma tugged at her arm and whispered.  "You don't have
to go just because it's a challenge."  She whispered back "Ranma, if it was
you being challenged, would you?  Remember, I _am_ a martial artist."  As
Ranma nodded in reluctant agreement, Ukyou removed Ranma's hand from her arm
and proceeded up to the stage.

    Mousse was nowhere to be seen, but his assistant rolled out a dinner cart
with a covered plate on top.  Ukyou mulled over the possibilities, trying to
recall all the martial arts that had something to do with food.  Hmm, it was
obviously not okonomiyaki...  nobody ever served okonomiyaki like that.
Maybe it was Martial Arts Dinner?  Or something to do with American crepes?
Or tea...  it could be Martial Arts Tea Ceremony.
    When Mousse's assistant let the pig go and uncovered the plate, Ukyou
heard a sudden whistling sound.  Lightning fast reflexes honed by years of
working with dangerous hot okonomiyaki alerted her to the threat of an
oncoming barrage of knives.  That could really hurt, if she didn't make sure
none of them ever hit her.  Ukyou concentrated her utmost on parrying them,
throwing a spatula at each.
    After the knives stopped, Ukyou saw their source: a duck, holding a knife
in its mouth.  Since when was a duck a martial artist?

    The duck threw the last knife at Ukyou and took off into the air.  The next
barrage of objects hidden in its feathers wasn't a set of knives, but a cluster
of bombs.  Ranma decided that that was enough, and jumped onto stage to protect
Ukyou as she parried all the bombs.  The smoke from the explosions covered the
stage, and when they cleared, both people and the duck were nowhere to be
seen....

    Ranma, Ukyou, and the duck were outside the tent, hidden under the trees
from casual observers.  The duck upended a kettle of hot water above its
head and turned into Mousse, grabbing a nearby robe.
    "You...  you've been to Jyusenkyou!" said Ranma.
    "Quite", answered Mousse.  "Do you understand why I've come after you,
Ukyou Kuonji?"
    Ranma pointed to Ukyou.  "Ucchan's over there!"
    Mousse took out a pair of glasses much thicker than Dr. Toufuu's, and
placed them on his face.  "Oh."  He turned to Ukyou.
    "Well, don't just ignore me!"  exclaimed Ranma.
    Mousse ignored Ranma anyway, telling his tale to Ukyou instead.  Ranma
sat down and listened.

    "You", said Mousse to Ukyou, "defeated Shampoo in a fight."  When we were
kids, I tried to defeat her, but I only managed to make a fool out of myself."
    Ukyou held up her hand to interrupt and asked "You mean you're from the
same Amazon tribe as she is?"
    Mousse's voice began to waver as explaining his story made him madder.
"Yes, I _am_!  I've been trying to defeat her for years.  She'd never even
give me the time of day but suddenly you, Ukyou Kuonji, came along.  And
knocked her out just like *that*!"  Mousse snapped his fingers for emphasis.
"You've captured her heart like I never could!"
    "So how did you manage to get yourself cursed?" asked Ukyou.
    "Because of you!  I trained and trained hoping I could become strong
enough to defeat both her and you.  But one day I was training in the
legendary cursed springs of Jyusenkyou and...  and..."
    "And?" asked both Ranma and Ukyou.
    "And..."  Mousse slowed the pace of his speech and finished his sentence
with a frown on his face.  "And I couldn't see where I was going...."

    "Listen here." said Ukyou while Ranma suppressed a few giggles, not very
well.  "I'm not interested in Shampoo!  Me and Ran-chan were both in China and
we tried to set her up with other people!  And if she doesn't want that, go
ahead!  Have her all to yourself!  If you have to say you defeated me, go home
and tell everyone you defeated me."
    "I'm not interested in a dishonorable trick like that!"
    "I'm not interested in a fight", replied Ukyou.  She motioned to her
fiancee.  "Let's go, Ran-chan."
    Ranma didn't budge.  "If you want a fight, Mousse, I'll give you a
fight...."
    Mousse turned away from Ranma in disgust.  "Nice trick, but I'm only
interested in Shampoo, and we don't marry female outsiders that way anyway.
But if you want a fight, I'll agree anyway!"  Mousse withdrew a small paper
envelope from his pocket.  "This envelope contains instant Nannichuan water!"
He emptied the envelope into a nearby goldfish tank.  "Now, just watch!"
    As the envelope dissolved in the water, the fish all transformed into
human beings.  Ten men in an unruly pile, wet and covered with shards of
broken glass and pieces of seaweed, making swimming motions with their hands.
Mousse dumped hot water on them and they became fish again.  "If you and your
fiancee lose, Ranma Saotome, I'm going to transform you into a guy!"

    Ranma boggled.  The answer was under her nose all along.  All she had to
do was get her hands on some of that Nannichuan water....

    "You're not making any sense", said Ukyou.  "If you're upset about me and
Shampoo, why would you threaten my fiancee?  Surely you _want_ me to marry
her instead of Shampoo, right?"
    Ranma tapped Ukyou on the shoulder and whispered in her ear.  "Ucchan...
don't talk him out of it.  I have to lose this fight."
    "I thought you'd never lose at anything that's martial arts, Ranma?"
    "But for this, I have to...  the honor of the Saotome Unlimited Martial
Arts may be reduced by my cowardice, but not more than it will be increased by
my becoming a complete man!"

    "Quit your jabbering!"  Mousse held out several balloons, bringing them
seemingly out of nowhere.  He swirled them in the air and let them go, aiming
them at Ranma, who had already began to flee.
    Got to make this look good, thought Ranma.  She realized that the
balloons must have nannichuan water in them, and resolved not to dodge them,
but Mousse threw spikes at the balloons and in the sudden distraction Ranma's
normal fighting instincts took over and she leaped over the bursting balloons,
not a drop of water landing on her.
    Mousse emptied another pail of water on himself--for some reason, there
was a lot of water around this festival--and turned into a duck.  He took to
the air, and threw several hooked chains several yards longer than his own
avian form, meaning to entangle Ranma.  Ranma punched out at them, trying to
make the fight look real again, and then ran.
    She spotted a tree in front of her.  This would have to do, but boy would
it hurt.  But it would be worth it if she could become a full man again.
Ranma turned to jeer at Mousse while running, and slammed herself headlong into
the tree, then collapsed to the ground.

    Ukyou decided to take her mind off of the problem by playing a few more
festival games.  She was worried about Ran-chan, but this was Ranma's plan and
she had to give her a chance to let it work.
    A worker was busy nailing up flyers.  Ukyou glanced at one and was
surprised to see Ranma, even dressed in the proper clothes.  "Extra, extra!
Watch woman turn into man!  At the main event, 9 PM!  Admission 200 yen."  She
wondered how Mousse could possibly have printed them up that fast, since the
clothes proved he hadn't printed them in advance, and it was only a few
minutes since the fight had ended.

    Ukyou waited until 9 PM and then walked leisurely to the main tent.  It
wouldn't look good if she didn't fight to "save" Ranma, but if she got there
late, Mousse might have already doused her.
    At 9:15 PM, Ukyou entered the tent, only to see Mousse waiting with Ranma
tied up and gagged, and placed in a tank with a large spigot above her.  He
pointed to Ukyo.  "Late, hm?  Well, let's see you save your fiancee now!"
    "I'm _so_ happy that you waited for me."  Come on, she thought, turn that
faucet on, Mousse.
    Mousse bowed.  "It was nothing."  He arose and tapped his foot.  "Well,
aren't you going to try to attack me before your fiancee gets turned into a
guy?"
    No choice, thought Ukyou.  He really didn't want Ranma, he wanted her.
She'd have to fight him before he'd turn that water on Ranma.  Ukyou stood up
and pointed at Mousse.  "How dare you treat my fiancee like that?"
    Mousse took a packet of instant Nannichuan from a box of them and emptied
it into a tank behind him.  Then he turned on the spigot and the sound of
rushing water began.  "Ah, that's better.  Now, watch this girl transform...."
    Ukyou threw several spatulas.  She could break the glass and cut Ranma's
bonds without jeopardizing her chance to get wet by that water, so that was
where her weapons were aimed.  They hit just where she had intended--glass
doesn't dodge, and Ranma wasn't into ropes--freeing her.
    Ranma stood, yelling "No!" at Mousse, but tripped and stayed right under
the faucet.  Mousse smiled.  It was worth it to see the look on Ukyou's face
when his fiancee got turned into a man, even if it was once-only water....
    Ukyou stood there, looking foolish, but giving the water a chance to flow.
At least until an unexpected tiger bounded in, rode by Pink and Link.  "We'll
save you, Ranma!"
    "Don't!" shouted Ukyou at the twins.  "This is our fight!"  She hoped
they'd trust her, even if she couldn't completely explain why she wanted
Ranma to get wet.
    Pink yelled back "Okay!  We won't rescue Ranma if you don't want it!"
Their tiger landed in front of Ranma, but they used their expert control over
it to plan a leap over Ranma's head, to miss her entirely.
    Mousse laughed.  "Oh, I understand now.  You're having a lovers' quarrel.
You really don't want to rescue your fiancee!  Guess I'll have to turn this
off after all."
    "Uhh, wait!" exclaimed Ukyou.
    Mousse reached for the spigot and lightly pushed it counterclockwise,
then told Ukyou "Oh, guess it must be stuck."  Ukyou sighed in relief.

    Neither Mousse nor Ukyou immediately noticed Ranma's reaction to the
events going on around her.  Ranma was beginning to shake, showing a most
un-martial-artist-like fear.  She pointed at Pink and Link's tiger.  "C...
c...  cat!"  Ranma turned around and ran for cover at enormous speed, and
nearly brushed against the tiger, whose jump had taken it as far away as Ranma
had ran.

    Ranma freaked out, immediately becoming the star attraction of the
tent.  She stopped running, and growled and meowed, almost as if she thought
she was a cat.
    "Ranchan?"  Ranma didn't reply.  "RAN-CHAN?"  Ranma still didn't seem to
hear Ukyou.  She was acting like a wild beast.  Swiping at the tiger, her
fingernails took out great tufts of its skin, as if they were not fingernails
but claws, and she hit it hard.  Pink and Link jumped off and escaped, but the
tiger flew into the spigot, smashing it and spraying Ukyou, Mousse, and Ranma.
It fell to the ground, now a naked human man acting almost as much like a
beast as Ranma.  Ukyou suddenly held a hand to her chest and choked briefly.
    Ranma hopped around on all fours like a cat.  His eyes lit on a large
ball, the kind used by performing seals.  He rolled it around, playing with
it like a cat, then grabbed the ball in his teeth--an almost impossible move
because of its size--and spit it out at Mousse.  Mousse easily sidestepped
the attack, but then Ranma himself leaped at him, hitting him hard.  Mousse
fell, unconscious.

    "Ran-chan?"  Ukyou carefully approached the seemingly insane Ranma.
"What's happened to you?  Why are you acting like that?"
    Ranma recovered, slowly.  "Oooh, what hit me?"  He glanced at his own wet
body and Ukyou's, realizing that Ukyou seemed a bit taller.  "Ucchan, did we
both...?"
    Ukyou suppressed a tear.  "I'm okay, Ran-chan.  I'll have to go find a
cure like you were looking for, now, but the important part is that you did
it!  And defeated Mousse too.  I don't quite understand what happened", he
said, "because you were acting like a cat and you don't seem to remember any
of it at all."
    "Er, it's a long story.  I'll explain later."

    Mousse began to stir.  Ranma charged him.  "Wait!" shouted Mousse.
    "No!  For what you did to Ucchan..."
    "It shouldn't have affected him at all.  It doesn't affect guys.  But it's
really touching that you're more concerned for him than for the fact that you
became a man, considering how he betrayed you before."
    "Ucchan?  Betray me?"
    "I saw how he acted.  He didn't _want_ to rescue you.  He came here late,
and he hardly did anything to help.  He even told Pink and Link not to save
you!"
    Ranma, not missing a good opportunity, began to cry fake tears.  "Ucchan...
not wanting to save me...  I hate you!"  Ranma turned and ran.
    Mousse shouted out "I've done what I came for.  I don't think you two are
ever going to get together again after this.  Bye!  I may never see you again!"
Ukyou muttered something unintelligible about rationalizing a won fight out of
a lost one.  Mousse continued, "Oh, and don't worry about the water.  It's
cheap imitation water that only works once."
    Ranma, halfway to the door, and Ukyou, facefaulted.

    Later on, Ranma (along with an irate sign-using panda dragged by the neck)
explained the Cat-Fist to Ukyou, who was a bit confused by the whole incident.
"I still don't understand, Ran-chan.  The book says not to stick you in a pit
with a horde of angry cats and fish sausages strapped to your back, because 
it never works.  So how come you _did_ manage to learn the Cat-Fist from
that treatment after all?"