Here are a couple of things I picked up from a recent trip to Hong Kong.
They are from a column in the South China Post called Spice Trader run by 
a guy called Nury Vittachi.
      Have fun with them.  :)
           --Planeswalker Eric

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 Here are some widely belived diet tips in Hong Kong's New Age News....

1. If no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
2. If you drink a diet drink with a candy bar, they will cancel each 
other out.
3. Calories do not count when you eat with someone and you both eat the 
same amount.
4. If you fatten up everyone around you, you will look thinner.
5. Pieces broken off cookies contain no calories. The process of breaking 
the biscuit causes a calorie leakage.
6. Snacks consumed in a cinema do not count as they are part of the show.
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Here are a collection of real-life church announcements....
1. Don't let worry kill you-let the church help.
2. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church.
3. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a 
nursery downstairs.
4. The rosebud on the altar this morning is to anounce the birth of David 
Alan Belzer, the sin of the Rev and Mrs Julius Belzer.
5. Tuesday at 4pm there will be an ice-cream social. All ladies giving 
milk will please come early.
6. Wensday the ladies liturgy will meet. Mrs Johnson will sing "Put me in 
my little bed" accompanied by the pastor.
7. This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs Lewis to come forward and 
lay an egg on the alter.
8. Thursday at 5pm there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. 
All ladies wishing to be "Little Mothers" will meet with the pastor in 
his study.
9. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. 
Music will follow.
10. The service will close with Little Drops of Water. One of the ladies 
will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.
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 This one is about things you never hear said........

Here are the Last 10 Things Any Man Will Say:
10. I think Barry Manilow is one cool mother.
9. While I'm up, can I get you anything?
8. I'm absolutely wrong, you must be right.
7. Her breasts are just way too big.
6. Sometimes, I just want to be held.
5. Oh good, I prefer using a condom.
4. That chick on Murder She Wrote really gives me the hots.
3. Let's spend the day browsing among the boutiques in Pacific Place.
2. Forget tonight's football special on TV. There's a Danielle Steele 
mini-series on the other side.
1. I think we're lost. We'd better pull over and ask directions.
      
          And to show balance and egalitarianism, here are
The Last 10 Things Any Women Will Say:

10. Could our relationship be physical now? I'm tired of being just 
friends.
9. Hey, get a whiff of that one!
8. Don't throw your favourite old T-Shirt away. It may be a dirty rag, 
but it's cute.
7. This diamond is way too big.
6. Thanks for doing the housework while I was out.
5. Oh, I'm getting to look so young.
4. Men whose butts stick out of the tops of their jeans are so sexy.
3. I'm wrong, you nust be right.
2. Comb your hair over your bald patch, it'll look fine.
1. Call that a belch? Listen to this.

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  :)