Subject: Re: [FFML] Technical Log for the Bubblegum Zone
From: Sebastian Weinberg
Date: 4/22/1997, 5:03 AM
To: Fanfic Mailing List


On Mon, 21 Apr 1997, Hitomi Ichinohei wrote:

: The Bubblegum Zone:  Technical Aspects Log
: 
: 	In the year 2032, MegaTokyo was the site of Genom, the Mega
: Corporation that had taken over the production of boomers, non-sentient
: androids that were officially developed to help mankind.  Unfortunately,
: ethics were not what they could have been, and the heads of Genom decided
: that adapting these biomachines to war and other uses was a good idea. 

Surpriiise!


: Their only opponents were four women, known as the Knight Sabers. 
: 	That was until an unexplained phenomena carried a young red-headed
: Canadian university student from his campus in the 1990's to this place he
: was very familiar with... 

Shouldn't that be "phenomenon", singular?  Alternatively you could
remove the "an".


: 	This file is the first of twenty that describe the general
: operations of the hardsuits used in the Bubblegum Zone.  While each suit
: is individual, and made to suit a specific purpose,

The suit was made to suit.  Perhaps a synonym would be better in
the second case.  "Fit", perhaps or something like that.


: In the case of critical stress failure, the plate will hold together sue
: to the way the material sandwich is put together.

"Due to"


: Materials:
: 
: Ceramal type eight

I thought that stuff was called "ceramel", although I might be
confusing it (or - even worse - quote a spelling mistake as a
correction. :)


: Another advantage of this system is that by
: increasing the field momentarily in an area, the effects of a self
: contained energy blade, such as the plasma sabers, can effectively be
: nullified by creative a magnetic field for the blade to bounce off of.

"Creating a magnetic field"


: Electrical Impact:		99.4% reduction in impact energy.

Heh, makes Bert glad, I'd wager. :)


: Softsuit:
: 
: Vocal Log:
: 
: 	"Before Priss, heck even after Priss, it been hard for me to
: design softsuits due to the ergonomic considerations.

"has been hard"


: 	"Thanks to some bloody inconvenient safety devices Sylia installed
: in the original series of hardsuits and softsuits, I can no longer leave
: any part of the manufacturing alone in case it happens again.

In case what happens again?


: 	"Now others on the team, specifically Sylia, Nene, and Linna,
: would love to keep the system in the suits as a way of keeping Priss and I
: in line.

"Priss and me"  It's in the objective case.


: 
: Item:		Mono-molecular Ribbon Attachment.
: 

: The ribbon and the technology that is inherent in the bilateral
: controls was redesigned by Sylia in the year 2034. 

"were redesigned", I think.

 
: Softsuit: 
: 
: Vocal Log: 

Hmm?  What's with the "Softsuit:"?  Am I missing something?


Sebastian
-- http://enterprise.mathematik.uni-essen.de/~bastian/ Comics reviewed.
-- What's done to children, they will do to society.