On Fri, 18 Apr 1997, Raphael See wrote:
(scene: a darkened room. Lights slowly come on to reveal a messy,
cluttered dorm room with faded and battered couch in back, tiny TV and
VCR in front. Lying on the couch blissfully in sleep is a somewhat nerdy
Chinese male just on the other side of the teen-twenty border.)
(A cute, brown-haired girl with notepad and pen in hand enters the room.)
Noriko: I'm here! I'm sorry I'm late... (notices Raphael sleeping) Raphael?
Hello?
HaHA! An MST3king! It's da bigtime! ;)
Raphael: (grumbles) I think it already has... Well, let's get started,
then. (turns to the camera) Welcome yet again to Mystery C&C Theater 1/2!
Noriko: (seats herself on the couch) This afternoon we'll be looking at
the fourth volume of "Ill Met By Starlight" by... (scrutinizes the box cover
sitting on the coffee table) ...Mike Loader and Susan Doenime. Two authors?
Raphael: Yeah, pretty cool, huh? I guess it works well for them. This is
a rather interesting series at that. This should be good...
The co-authoring bit works sorta like a good cop/bad cop routine. ;) ("And
then how bout we have Kasumi kill someone?" "Um.....")
--------------------------------------------------
^_- I L L M E T B Y S T A R L I G H T ^_-
--------------------------------------------------
by Susan Doenime and Mike Loader
Based on characters and situations created by Rumiko Takahashi, and used
without knowledge.
We ask that you obtain permission from us before printing, posting, or
storing this story in any form.
Noriko: Um, Raphael, this episode is okay with Susan-san and Mike-san, right?
Raphael: Um, yeah, it's okay. I'm sure.
Noriko: (suspicious) You didn't ask them, did you?
Raphael: (a bit nervously) Well, I, uh...
Noriko: Great. (pointing to her partner) Susan-san, Mike-san, this is all
his fault.
Raphael: Hey! Thanks a lot, trusty partner 'o mine!
Heh. C&C is fine, lord knows. And yah, you can keep a copy on your hard
disk. The notice is there to prevent copies from showing up in public
archives we don't know about.
"Moshi moshi?"
"Mine ears rejoice to hear thy golden voice, your dulcet
tones..."
*click*
Raphael: Hee hee hee! That's just about right, too!
Noriko: Yes, it is, isn't it. (gives Raphael a look)
*chuckle* Indeed. So when do we see more Scoop of the Day, eh?
It was frustrating, very frustrating at times to have a
mercenary for a sister. Granted, Nabiki poured most of the
money back into the family accounts; a lot of the money she
extorted from her sister was money that had been earned for
the family by Nabiki in the first place. And she gave wonderful
gifts...not just expensive things, but ones that had a lot of
thought put into them.
Raphael: And another sympathetic depiction of Nabiki. She seems to be
having it good in fanfics, doesn't she?
Noriko: Well, I like it. It makes a lot of sense. Being so
money-conscious, Nabiki would be sure to use that money very wisely.
It would, we felt, be very Nabikish to have her affection show itself in
the form of cash.
It's been noted that Nabiki is one of the few sympathetic characters in
the fic. Why? Well...for one think, we both like Nabiki. For another,
she's been cast as the calculating enemy of Ranma. Don't worry, her hands
will get dirty soon enough....
And she was willing to bet it had something to do with
Ranma. Maybe Nabiki thought he had some sort of life's
savings, or wanted him to play enforcer. Or felt pictures of his
female form would sell well.
Akane scowled, pulling on her shirt. If Nabiki even thought
about trying something like that, Akane would take her into
the dojo and "spar" with her.
She smiled. Nabiki actually wasn't that bad a martial artist.
She just wasn't anywhere near Akane's level, and hadn't
practiced in years. A few bruises in uncomfortable places
would give her the message to back off.
Raphael: Gack. That doesn't sound like the Akane I know. Is she different
in this reality, too?
Noriko: Perhaps not. I think Ranma has a lot to do with this. See, she's
trying to protect Ranma. She's been quite affected by him, and it doesn't
look like she even realizes what's happening to her.
Raphael: Huh. I don't think this Ranma needs protection, or even should
get protection. The guy gives me the willies in this fic...
Key word in the above sentence is "If". In other words, _if_ she caught
Nabiki selling risque photos of Ranma, she would have a rough workout with
her to send a back-off message.
Noriko, btw, is quite right. If she caught Nabs selling photos of her,
she'd just get upset and fume. But ones of Ranma....
ntendo@furnkn7
N 54 Mar 25 Urd (3,682) Re: Investments or Risk?
N 55 Mar 25 dedwards (8,059) Monthly Letter! :)
N 56 Mar 25 Hikaru (8,817) Saotome Report
56
Date: Thu, 25 Mar 1996 18:54:25 -0500
From: Hikaru <hikarut@furnkn.nerima.edu.jp>
To: "Nabiki Tendo" <ntendo@furnkn.nerima.edu.jp>
Subject: Saotome Report
Raphael: Before I watch any more, I've got to say, this little e-mail
thing of yours is _really_ cool. Nice touch.
Thanks. :) We originally had Nabs talking to a picture of her mother after
a face-to-face meeting with Hikaru, but decided that the e-mail format
worked much, much better.
"Hello there."
The cat spun at the noise. Careless was good for prey, but
_not_ for it. Especially when it got so lax as to allow a human
to sneak up on it.
The human dropped down to his knees, his red shirt flapping
in the light breeze. "Here, kitty. Nice cat. Yes, nice kitty."
Noriko: (suddenly shivering) Uh-oh...
Raphael: What's wrong?
Noriko: Ranma's supposed to be scared of cats, right?
Raphael: Yeah, so...? Oh! Well, maybe he's not scared in this reality. (a
thought suddenly strikes him) Uh-oh.
Noriko: (nodding) Uh-huh. I've got a bad feeling about this...
*chuckle* We just sprinkle hints and clues throughout the series. Some of
them even make sense _before_ the fact. ;)
A wince, the hand had been a bit tight there. Humans could be
clumsy.
"Kitty won't do any of that."
There was a sharp, sudden snap.
The boy stood, and padded out of the garden.
Noriko: (more than a little horrified) See? See?
Raphael: (horrified likewise) Geez! There wasn't any reason for that,
either! I tell ya, that boy's a homicide waiting to happen...
Waiting? ;) Ranma really, really doesn't like cats.
Was it Zen who compared Nabiki to a cat? Yes, I think it was...
I should leave. I could start a business somewhere, I could
apprentice myself to a firm, I could do hundreds of things. I
want to live. I want to grow up, and have a job and have my
own house, and maybe, one day, children. I don't want to die. I
have so much I haven't done yet.
But I love my sister. I can't leave her. I am not a nice person,
but I will not run away and leave her tethered like a goat for a
wild beast. I will not.
Noriko: Wow. I can really see this kind of letter being written in a
moment of desperation. That was very well done, Susan-san. Mike-san.
Raphael: Ya know, I've actually written little snippets in a very similar
flavor to this thing. I agree; this passage is _quite_ cool.
Thanks. :) Nabs is basically using the letter as a sounding board for her
own emotions... she has to let down the mask, but she can't do it to
anyone who might interfere.
But no, her brother was almost fanatical about his "honour",
and hiring someone to gun down the source of their family's
anguish simply wasn't honourable. They had to do it themselves. And in a
fair, ma
n-to-man fight. Until Saotome
cheated.
Noriko: Hm? A formatting error?
Raphael: (pushing the "tracking" button on the remote) Looks like it...
(mumbles) I thought this VCR was supposed to have auto-formatting...
Whoops.
The girl smiled. "What form is that? It reminds me a bit of
Juban Escrima, but the stance is more like Zanji."
Threat. Definite threat. "It's a family school. We picked up
parts from many different styles, and combined them to form
something far better." Pride filled her voice; the Hibiki-Ryuu
_was_ one of the most devastating schools in the world. "I
take it you study the Art as well?"
Raphael: So it _is_ a school, huh? I always thought Ryoga was just a
berserker kind of guy...
Noriko: Well, here it is, at least.
You figure it has to be a school of some sort; after all, you don't learn
to throw bandannas like knives or almost beat the best martaial artist in
Nerima just by being a "berserker kind of guy."
Mariko estimated the distance she would need to cover to
execute the sweep-kick, the likely dodge, and the force needed
to crush the girl's skull. A millisecond later, she decided
against it. It would be unfair to hold Ranma against other
members of his school. At least to that extent.
Raphael: Gack! I guess you can't trust _anybody_ in this reality, can you?
Noriko: No one except Akane, that is. Unfortunately, she's the one caught
in the middle of it all.
Mariko's a nice person. Except in matters dealing with Ranma; there, she's
very, very coldblooded.
"You are my oldest and dearest friend. We suffered under and
defeated the Master together, and you were the best man at my
wedding. Please, what's wrong?"
His eyes remained on the board. "I've done a terrible thing to
the boy, Tendo-kun. It's my fault he's what he is."
Raphael: Ooh! We _finally_ get to find out what's up with Ranma!
Noriko: Shh! I can't hear!
*laugh* Indeed. :)
Soun turned his attention back to his old friend. "You tried to
teach...?"
Genma gave a strained smile. "I meant to say I pushed him a
bit too hard. Stress. Nothing to worry about. Your move, Tendo-
kun."
Nodding, Soun turned his eyes back to the pieces. Genma
would tell him in his own time.
Raphael: Aaaaugh!
Noriko: I guess we'll have to wait and see...
Yup.
Akane hadn't come home yet, but that was all right. It
ensured that the meal would be safe for human consumption. It
ensured that the salt wouldn't be mysteriously replaced by
clorox. It ensured that Kasumi wouldn't have to carry off the
rather difficult feat of smiling and looking pleasant whilst
vomiting uncontrollably.
Noriko: "Clorox" is a brand name, isn't it? I think it should be capitalized.
Raphael: Bleeeeaaah. _That_ was a mental picture I definitely _didn't_
need put in my head.
Hmm...is it? Yeah, I guess it is a brand name.
Ranma-kun was a nice boy. A complete psychopath, but a nice
boy. Kasumi was sure he and Akane would be very happy
together. And he ate a lot, which was the mark of a healthy,
growing young man.
Noriko: Eep. The pathos just gets thicker and thicker...
Raphael: Sort of a hybrid between the "Kasumi-is-an-all-seeing-goddess"
and the "Kasumi-is-an-oblivious-cottonball" schools, huh? You're some
sick puppies, guys, you know that?
Suse and I have radically different views on Kasumi. The hybrid is rather
interesting.
Akane shook her head again. "No, she's just really good. Not
so good I couldn't fight back, not like you. Just slightly better
that me."
He blushed, and scuffed his foot. "Aw, I'm not _that_ good...I
mean, I've just been trainin' all my life, and nothin' but
that...you'd be as good as me if you had lived that way, maybe
even better."
Raphael: Aw, geez, don't pull that act again. You're making me sick.
Noriko: He _is_ laying it on rather thick this time, isn't he? Everything
Ranma says or does seems to have some ulterior motive. "Calculating
Ranma" makes me really nervous. _Really_ nervous.
He's good at it, isn't he? Part of the reason he's so convincing is
because, deep down, that's how a bit of him feels.
"Like...like what?"
"Ways of moving. Ways of training." His eyes seemed to glow
for a second, and she felt her heartbeat begin to quicken.
"Ways of using ki. Pop has no idea, and I haven't told him."
"So why are you telling me?"
That was the big question, wasn't it? And...
And she didn't know what she wanted the answer to be.
Raphael: Search your heart, Akane; you know it to be true. Together we
could rule the galaxy as-- <snap> Ow!
Noriko: (annoyed) That's quite enough. You can stop now.
It's rather dead-on, though. We have a joke about how Ranma has "Vader
Syndrome"....mostly evil, but with good buried deeply, capable of being
reached by the right person.
Of course, you'll remember that Vader didn't survive his redemption...
Ranma closed his eyes, and the half smile vanished with the
unsettling suddenness with which it had appeared. The
confidence was gone, and in it's place was a lost, helpless,
scared boy, staring at her like a drowning man stares at a life
preserver. "Because ...I trust you. You're the only one who
listens, really listens. Kasumi's nice, but she's a bit vacant.
Nabiki just wants my money, and...wants me to..." He blushed a
bit, and the despairing look got deeper. "Your Dad's nice, but
he's Pop's friend. You're the only one who really..." He stopped,
suddenly, and stared at his shoes.
Slowly, gently, she reached out, placed her hand on his
shoulder. He began to look up, and it seemed the world turned
on the movement.
Raphael: Nooo! Get away! Run, run, run! Don't touch him!
Noriko: (fearfully) And the worst part is Akane doesn't even have the
slightest inkling of what she's about to get herself involved in...
Not even the slightest. She doesn't even know she's in love.
"Akane won't see it that way," she said softly.
He gripped her shoulder. "If you really like Akane, getting rid
of him is the best thing you can do. You'll be giving her a few
weeks of grief in exchange for her life. He'll kill her, sis, you
know he will. Just like he killed..."
"Yeah. And he dies. But I wish..."
"I know."
Noriko: And the plot thickens. That was a nice exchange, though,
revealing some insights without telegraphing them too strongly.
Raphael: I never thought I'd be _rooting_ for Ryoga...
The scene basically tries to get the point across that the Hibikis aren't
just crazed vendetta-hunters. They are, but there's more to them than
that. ;)
Suddenly she was on the ground, with Ranma's livid face
inches away from hers. "Mariko. I knew I had heard that name
before. Hibiki Mariko. You led me right to her, didn't you."
Akane just stared at him in shock.
He laughed bitterly, and stood up. "And you don't get it even
now. I'm..."
Raphael: Oh, crap. This is bad. (Noriko clenches her notepad)
Yup. Any time Ranma acts less than friendly to Akane....it means he's
losing control.
As Akane watched, mesmerized, Ranma bowed his head a bit.
She saw, barely, a look of agony and shame...just for a fleeting
second, like a passing breeze...race across his face, vanish,
replaced by a impassive stare. "You were the one, Ryouga. That
thing with the umbrella....you could have killed me. I still have
the scar." He looked back up, and he slowly extended a hand.
"Look. There was no harm done. I was your friend, sort of, and
you were mine. Can't we bury it?"
Noriko: (hopefully) There's still a remnant of humanity left in him...
Raphael: Yeah, but how much? Enough to make him regret it a little after
he kills someone? Big help that is.
Even worse, actually. Regretting killing his best - only - friend.
"You aren't Ryouga."
"Oh, you're a bright boy. Hibiki Koji. For the honor and peace
of my murdered brother, tonight you burn in hell."
(something similar to a sonic boom whooses through the room, scattering
papers and such everywhere)
Raphael: (hair blown back) Whoa! Major plot-twist!
Noriko: (amazed) Just how much can the plot thicken in just one chapter?
(grabs notepad in anticipation)
*smirk* We've been setting that one up since the beginning. If you look
though chapter 3 & 4, you'll notice literally dozens of clues.
Koji smiled a shark's grin at his opponent. "Ready to die?"
Ranma smiled back, and the emptiness in his face was
somehow worse than the bloodlust in the bandanna'd Hibiki.
"No."
Raphael: (points to the screen) That's it! There's the word I was looking
for!
Noriko: (genuinely confused) Huh?
[apologies to AL, who is the only one who will understand the reference]
Wot, bandanna'd? You'd never guess how long it took to decide on that as
the correct spelling. :P
And Akane saw Mariko, saw her emerge from the trees behind
Ranma, saw that she was raising an umbrella...
...saw her pump the umbrella, heard the *slide-chunk* sound
of a shell being loaded, knew exactly what was about to
happen...
Raphael: Get him! Plug him now!
Noriko: (quizzically) You _want_ Ranma to die?
Raphael: Better him than Akane somewhere down the line.
Yup.
...and then realizing with shock and resignation that she was
within the line of fire, and hoping that her body would be
enough to shield Ranma.
^_-
Noriko: You know, that section-divider takes on a very sinister light
when juxtaposed with sequences like this...
The section divider was selected to be rather unsettling. Sorta in the
same way clowns or mimes can be scary.
Raphael: Oh, crap. Don't jump in the line of fire, Akane! You stupid?
Well, she didn't do it on _purpose_...
"He's going to kill you, you little idiot! He's a psychopath!
Are you blind or something? He'll kill you, just like Ryouga!"
Akane's face contorted. Whoops. Maybe that hadn't been the
best tact to take....
She barely dodged Akane's first roundhouse, and the kick
caught her in the shin. Muttering a curse, and wishing like hell
she had her umbrella, Mariko grimly began counterattacking.
Noriko: This is an amazing episode. Somehow, Susan-san and Mike-san
manage to increase the stakes even more at every turn. Very nicely done.
Raphael: (confused) Oh, crap. I don't even know who to root for now!
Everyone's the bad guy! Geez!
Or, if you like, everyone's the good guy. Well...except Ranma. ;)
It seemed to take Saotome a few seconds to notice that his
hands and arms were now gushing blood from several slashes.
Koji struggled to his feet, the world swimming in and out of
focus. "Neat trick, huh? Cloth can be as sharp as a sword; my
brother taught me that. I never quite got the hang of the
bandanna thing, but my shirt seems to do nicely."
Raphael: Heh heh. Nice touch. I like it. That'll teach you, Saotome!
Noriko: (a bit annoyed) I'll bet you wouldn't talk that big if you were
actually there.
Raphael: (a bit taken aback) Hey, no fair.
*chuckle* If he were actually there, he'd be keeping low and quiet. Rather
like Hikaru, in fact.
They never came. Mariko had noticed Ranma's flight and was
running to her brother's side, the umbrella forgotten.
Turning, Akane walked away, slowly at first, then more and
more quickly. By the time she left the park, she was running as
if every demon in hell was hot on her heels.
Noriko: Whew. I don't think there could have possibly been a clean
outcome to that fight.
Raphael: (wipes some sweat off his brow) I'll second that "Whew." Nicely
done.
That was about as clean as it gets. No-one was killed or crippled.
Hikaru walked away through the trees, chuckling to himself.
Nabiki would be very interested in this, and things Nabiki took
an interest in were generally good for business, one way or
another.
He would tell her in person. Perhaps the ice queen's mask
would slip. Perhaps.
Raphael: And one more plot development for the road, eh?
Noriko: Good grief. I can't imagine what the _next_ volume is going to be
like.
The Hibikis try another tact, Ranma meets Dr. Tofu, Kuno comes gunning
for a rematch, Nabiki raises the stakes, and yet another person from
Ranma's part arrives...
-< End of Chapter Four >-
Raphael: Well, that's tape four. Whadja think?
Noriko: Wow... I don't think I've seen a fanfic with this much latent
explosive power as this one before. The whole thing is like a giant,
lethal icicle looming over your head, just waiting to come loose and
impale you.
Good, that's wot we were aiming for. :) I said to my co-writer, "Suse, I
want to write a giant lethal icicle..." ;)
Raphael: (shivers) Now _that's_ an unusual analogy. I agree, this series
has a _lot_ of pathos and tension nestled into every corner. And the
little touches like the e-mail sequences were really cool. My compliments.
Thanks. :)
Noriko: Yes. Susan-san, Mike-san, very nicely done. I just hope things go
okay in the end...
We honestly don't know if it ends happily or not.
Raphael: I guess we'll have to wait for the next volume to find out, huh?
Longer than that. Can you say, "Epic"? I knew you could.
Noriko: Oh, by the way, how's "Scoop" coming along? Any progress?
Raphael: (pleased) As a matter of fact, I've actually been working on the
last part.
Noriko: (getting excited) Really? Let me see!
Raphael: (starting to bigsweat) Well, you see, um... I don't have any of
it on paper. (points to his head) It's all up here, you know?
AAAARGH. Write, ya slacker! That sucker's been on hiatus longer than
Nameless Sequel. (Episodes 7 and 8 coming soon! Plug!)
Noriko: (sighs) If I had five yen for every time one of my reporters
tried to feed me _that_ line...
Raphael: (indignant) Hey, it's true! I'll have it done soon, you'll see!
Noriko: I should hope so. (smiles and grips her fountain pen)
Raphael: (bisweating a lot) Um, and with that, we conclude this episode
of Mystery C&C Theater 1/2! (camera begins to fade) Good day, all!
Noriko: (briefly turning to the camera) Have a nice weekend!
End C&C
Heh. Another episode. I hope you enjoyed reading, all! Mike, Susan...
I hope you don't mind me doing this...
Mind? Mind? If only more people would do this...
---
Raphael See