Okay, here's the first of the actual stories for the TSSGgC story line.
The 'Genesis' stories were purely background, and may have no bearing on
these stories whatsoever.
This is a bit of an experiment for me, so I"m not sure if I'm doing it
properly. I have a few specific questions: 1) should I describe the
races more thouroghly? I know what I'm talking about, but that's not to
say the reader will. :) 2) Does this sound even remotely interesting?
Any and all comments are welcome. But please, reply to me personally, as
I'm not actually on the list.
And on with the show...
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The Soft Serve Gestapo Gets Crowned!
Part I: Initiation to Chaos
Chapter 1
The beginning
Written by: Eric Jones
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Blades clashed, steel clanged against steel. Cries were heard all around. It
was a war, and it was ugly. Stocky, pug-nosed orcs were in a frenzy,
surrounding the more lithe, graceful goblins and their rather excessively
large accomplices.
Clearly, the Goblins had an advantage. Far better trained, they sliced through
the numbers opposing them. Said large accomplices, hobgoblins, made up for
their lack of grace in sheer brute strength. And among them all was a goblin,
squared. He looked like a Goblin, only twice as large.
"Here comes the cavalry!" cheer the Orcs, as more of their hordes push forth,
strengthening their numbers. Unfortunately, not adding much to the skill pool.
The large Goblin reaches out, grabbing one unfortunate Orb by the skull. "This
is your cavalry?" he snorts, tossing the Orc in the direction of the two
Hobgoblins. "George, Lenny, take care of this, would you?"
"Duhh.. Right Boss."
"Yeah!"
The Boss sighed. It wasn't hard to find good help these days. Intelligent
help, that took much more effort.
-=-
Grym smiled, his one working eye emitting a sheer joy at the thrill of battle.
He sliced through Orc after Orc. Nothing could stand up to him. Rabble such as
this was almost an insult to go up against, but it did aleviate the boredom..
He leapt forward with wild abandon, confident that his rear was well-protected
by the man the Goblins were escorting. It was obvious he needed the protection
after all.
Unfortunately, the man they were escorting, using his significant magic skills,
decided to use them to teleport a safe distance away from the battle.
Grym whooped a war cry as he saw himself being surrounded. Twelve to one?
Those might be worthy odds..
-=-
K'bar fought bravely, one of the few Orcs from the initial attack that was still
standing. But one thing was bothering him as he fought on. Finally, in
frustration, he cried out.
"What in Thantos are we fighting for anyways?"
Collectively, the groups paused in thought. It was a rather good question.
"'Cause it's fun?" Queried Lenny, followed by a quick elbow by George.
"Dat's one of dem rhetor.. Retorcul... Dose statments, stupid!"
Indeed it was. But since everyone was waiting for an answer, the writers came
down, and caused the world to shake and shimmer; all was hazy. So thus came the
flashback. An explanation *was* in order...
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Chapter 2
Okay, so -this- is the beginning....
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Things begin in a long time ago, in a formless void...
Oh wait, already wrote that...
Right. It all began less than a week ago, in the southern mountain ranges,
in the Goblins city of Sank...
-=-
The Boss watched the sun set from his deck, arms crossed, facing away from the
creature nearby. He did dealings with all sorts, but these types always gave
him the shivers.
"So, you seek safe passage to the Elven capital?"
The creature behind him, draped all in robes, approximated a nod. "Indeed, I
was summoned. It is... Good for relations not to decline."
The Boss grimaced. "The past wars hold heavy in your minds, I'm sure. But with
your magics, what do you need with us?"
"I am but a healer, and my brethen do not wish to travel; they have research to
attend to. Besides, I'm not so arrogant as to scorn the classic line of the
aspiring thief.. It's a very true saying."
"'A mage can't do much with a knife in his back'? I suppose you have a point."
"I know you don't enjoy working with us Ogres, but the pay will make it more
than worth your while."
"If it didn't, you wouldn't have asked for me." The Boss replied with a small
grin.
"But it is more than money. Fate is etched into you, in ways I cannot
understand. You are the right man for this job, and so much more.."
The Boss raised an eyebrow. "I care not for your mysticism, D'lyn. But.. I
accept the offer. My usual pay method applies - fifty percent now, and fifty
percent when we arrive at our destination."
The creature bowed graciously, or as graciously as an Ogre could. "I expect we
shall eave soon?"
"In the morning. I have to gather my men first."
"I shall see you at dawn then." Replied D'lyn, before turning, and blinking out
of existance.
TB rolled his eyes and groaned. Mages.
-=-
In this age of great magic, one thing was still largely unknown to the magic
community- the art of teleportation. The only known way to move large
distances, or even short distances, was by employing the help of demons..
In the realm between realms, the portal realm, D'lyn met with his
'personal courier'.
"Greetinsss Masstrr. Did it go welll?"
D'lyn's eyes glazed over, his tone detached, "Yes, yes it did.."
"And TB iss the one you are taking?"
"Yes."
"Good, good. You have.. picked wisely. Where shall I be taking you, masstr?"
Slowly, D'lyn's eyes came back into focus..
-=-
TB marched in front of his troops. Twenty troops, quite possibly the best the
city had ever produced, and two of it's scariest hobgoblins.. And not
necessarily completely for their power.
The Goblins stood at full attention, the Hobgoblins.. Well, at least they were
standing. Regardless, they looked rather impressive.
"We're in for a long haul men," TB started, "This is probably going to be one
of our longest treks ever, actually. Right into the heart of Elven territory.
Their capital, in fact."
He waited for these words to sink in. "Now, I'm aware that.. Certain
individuals may not have the greatest of records with the Elven authorities, so
I want you all to be on your best behaviour.. at. all. TIMES."
Stopping in front of George, Lenny, and Grym, TB cocks his head. "You can grasp
that, can you?"
"Uhh sorry boss. You say something?" Said Lenny distractedly. "Dis
knucklehead here wuz.."
Lenny paused here, as he saw a dread scene: The Boss removed his current
headress, and began to reach into a pocket..
"No, Boss! I's sorry, it wuzn't my fault.."
TB pulled out a bright yellow cap, and played with it deliberately. "And for
this entire excursion.. There will be -no- more 'faults', by anyone. Am I
clear?"
Lenny nodded, quivering a bit.
"Excellent. And as a reminder.."
TB donned the cap, suddenly growing in size. In seconds, he had doubled in
size, now towering over the now very shaken Lenny. "Boo." He said, with a
touch of a smirk. The cap came off, and TB instantly shrunk back to his
normal size.
"If there are no more problems, we might as well be on our way." TB said,
motioning the party to fall in line behind him. Marching smartly down a
staircase, through a hallway, and then past a giant gate, they met D'lyn a few
moments later.
-=-
It was a day into their travels before the trouble truly came to them. On two
wings, swooping about, yapping in an irritating fashion.
"Master, master! You left without telling poor Simigol! Why you leave me
behind?"
TB sighed. He'd hoped he would escape this curse.. "Because, Simigol, the
outside world is too dangerous. Really. You must go back home now."
"But Simigol is good Goblin! Help you I can!"
"You're not a Goblin, you mangy beast. Accept that and go back to your
brethen."
"But I can HELP!! Simigol really can!"
SImigol began to cry, stone droplets falling down in a torrent.
TB cursed to himself. This could not help things, that was for sure. However,
the other option was to be drowned in stone pebbles..
"Fine, you can come. If you do -only- what I say."
-=-
It was another two days of trudging across the dessert, before the party came
across any indication of civilization. And it wasn't very heartening. An Orc
caravan was scattered in a weak defensive circle around a small water hole.
Relations between the Orcs and Goblins was largely one of mutual ignorance.
They would only acknowledge each other, if it was really necessary. This was
one of those times it was necessary for the Goblins. Unfortunately, the Orcs
didn't see it the same way.
"This our water hole. Find own!" Was the most TB could get out of them. They
weren't forthcoming with directions to another pool, either. It was nearing
nightfall by this time, so TB and the Orc cheif struck up a mutual agreement of
non-argression, for the nightfall. The Goblins set up camp a short distance
away. Close enough to see, but far away enough not to be heard.
After camp was set up, TB ordered his men to scavange for food. They were
sufficiently stocked for a good deal longer, but variety was always nice.
It was a shame that Simigol heard these orders..
-=-
"Simigol do good deed! Simigol borrow food from Orcs. They not need all!"
Chirped Simigol cheerfully to himself. He swooped down upon their camp
silently, past the partially dozing guards. Searching through the Orc tents,
Simigol found the perfect food for his master! It was nice and cold, a lot of
it.. Nicely shaped, too.
But he wouldn't want his master to eat poor food, no! So, he took a tentative
bite. Very tasty! They didn't make them like this much anymore.. He crunched
the snack loudly, savouring it's flavour.
However, his taste test did not escape all ears. In fact, the Orc cheiftan who
was sleeping right beside him got a literal earful. Rising, the Orc could do
little but stare in horror.
"T.. The sword of the emissary! What are you doing?!"
Hoping to smooth things over a bit, Simigol (ever the diplomat) snapped of a
piece of the sword, offering it to the chief. "You want a bite?"
Needless to say, a short chase and declaration of war later, the Goblins had an
attack to deal with.
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Chapter 3
And now back to our regularly scheduled slaughter
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K'bar nodded, as the now-written past that he'd so obviously already experienced
came back to him. But still, he was curious. "But.. Why didn't we just punish
the Gargoyle?"
TB smiled broadly. "Because only -I'm- allowed to do that. Besides, there's
not as much dramatic tension."
K'bar gulped. "So it's back to the battle then?"
"Yes."
"I don't suppose we could just give up?"
"No, that's not very dramatic either.."
"How about if we run away in terror?"
Swords were brought back into hand, battle stances were assumed. TB simply
shrugged. "You can always try..."
Wisely, the Orcs did just that. Not so wisely, they weren't faster than the
Goblins.
-=-
Brief minutes later, the Goblins filled up their water canteens, and set out
once more. There was still days before the desert was crossed, and that was
only the beginning. Theives, rampant mages, symanthae, megalomaniac demi-gods..
Who knew what terrors awaited?
Although, that last paragraph might have been a bit of a give away..
Nah.
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Chapters 4-7 of part 1 coming by next week.. Along with updates of this,
if it's necessary. :)
And then we can really start getting into chaos. I know it's not really
fanfiction now, but I -am- going to start throwing in references all over
the place soon.. ^_^
- Eric