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Ranmalocks

     Once upon a time there was a Tendo family of three sisters who lived in
a cozy dojo among the trees in a little Japanese town called Nerima. There
was the motherly sister Kasumi, a money-savvy sister named Nabiki, and the
youngest one was Akane.
     One morning Kasumi cooked them some porridge for breakfast with some
help from Akane. When Kasumi stepped away from the stove, Akane added some
more ingredients into her bowl of soup. Kasumi set all three bowls on the
table. They discovered that the porridge was a little too hot and too spicy,
so the three sisters decided to do other things while they waited for their
porridge to cool. Kasumi went to return a book she borrowed from the local
doctor. Nabiki went to her stock broker. Akane decided to practice her
martial arts elsewhere.
     They had not gone long when a pig-tailed boy named Ranma came along. He
had been fighting for the past several years all the way from China and had
stumbled onto the Tendo property when he ran away from a certain large
panda. When he saw the three sisters' cottage and smelled something like
food, he smiled and jumped the fence.
     "What an interesting dojo. Mmmm, man am I hungry!" he exclaimed. "I
wonder who lives here?" He peeked into the house. There didn't seem to be
anyone home so Ranma leapt into the house through an open window.
     The first thing he saw was the table set with three bowls of porridge:
a pretty flower bowl for Kasumi, a green bowl for Nabiki, and a ceramic bowl
for Akane. "Oh, that porridge smells good!" Ranma said. Then, considering he
was incredibly hungry, he picked up a spoon and tasted the porridge in the
flower bowl.
     "Hot!" he yelled, dropping the spoon. "That porridge is much too hot!"
     So he tasted the porridge in the green bowl. But _that_ porridge was
much too cold.
     Then he tasted the porridge in the little ceramic bowl.
     Ranma suddenly felt nauseous, and accidentally pushed the bowl over the
edge of the table. It broke upon impact, spilling the porridge and its
strange contents all over the floor. He staggered into the living room.
     Then he saw three chairs set before the entertainment center: a pretty
pillow rocking chair, a leather swivel, and a blue upholstered chair. 'I
think I better sit down. This room is spinning.' Ranma thought.
     So he climbed into the rocking chair that belonged to Kasumi. "Oh,
no...!" he said. "I'm gonna be sick..." he muttered as the chair went back
and forth, back and forth, which was no help to his queasy stomach.
     Then he quickly moved off the chair and went to the leather swivel. The
moment he sat in it, some automatic straps fastened themselves on his wrists
and ankles. At his fingertips was a little machine that suddenly appeared
and spoke.
     "Please deposit 500 yen...Please deposit 500 yen..." it repeated.
     "How am I supposed to deposit money if my hands are strapped?" he
asked, annoyed. His left wrist was released. He took the opportunity to
remove himself as best he could from the chair. It was no use. As soon as he
tried pulling away, a panel in the chair opened and a claw came out that
quickly snatched his red shirt away, and he was blinded by a lot of flashing
from around the room.
     "Okay! Okay! Stupid machine. Here's your 500 yen!" He shoved the money
into the armrest device.
     "Thank you for your business," it replied before disappearing back into
the chair.
     "Sheesh!"
     Eyeing the last chair carefully, Ranma used a nearby stick to test it
for booby-traps. It didn't change. He slowly sat in it. It was perfect.
"This chair is just right!" Ranma sat in it a while and then decided that
he'd practice his martial arts on this sturdy chair.
     "Bakusai Hakoden!" he yelled before attacking it.
     Just then, there was a loud CRACK, and the upholstered chair broke.
     "Aww, _man_! That sucks," he complained. Then he looked around him and
decided to explore the rest of the house. He went upstairs.
     One room he looked into had a lot of cookbooks and some Japanese and
Chinese books, as well as books from various philosophers, scientists, and
politicians from around the world. The amount of books made his eyes go wide.
Another room was locked. For some strange reason, there was also a security
camera hanging above the door.
The last room he encountered was neat, clean, and held numerous trophies for
gymnastics, martial arts, etc. He decided this room was most suitable for a
boy, and went in.
     He was still feeling a little sick from the porridge he had earlier,
and discovered that he was a lot more tired than he thought.
     'Stupid Oyagi!...chasing me the entire night...' was Ranma's last
thought before he fell asleep on the bed.
     A little while later the three sisters returned from their errands.
They were feeling very hungry and were looking forward to eating the nice
bowls of tasty porridge.
     Kasumi looked at her spoon and her bowl. She blinked.
     "Oh, my. I think someone's been eating out of my bowl. I guess I'll
have to make more soup," she said. "I wonder if we have any pork..."
     Nabiki's eyes narrowed when she looked at her green bowl. "Somebody's
going to pay for this," she spat.
     Akane cried out, "Who did this!?" All three sisters looked at the
broken bowl and puddle on the floor. Then they saw their chairs in the
living room.
     "There are wrinkles on the pillows of my chair," observed Kasumi airily.
     "Yes!" giggled an ecstatic Nabiki as she emptied the money from her
leather swivel.
     "My chair!" yelled Akane as she saw the remains of her blue chair. She
ran to her room, holding back tears. "My chair! My chair! Someone broke my
favorite chair!"
     She flung herself onto her bed.
     "Aaaaaaccckk!"
     [Slap!]
     "Hentai!"
     "Whaddya do _that_ for?!" exclaimed Ranma, not realizing until it was
too late that he was bare. Akane fumed.
     "Who are _you_?!" she demanded.
     "I-I'm Ra--" he replied, trying desperately to maneuver his way out of
Akane's room. "Look, I was just passing through when I got lost and I
smelled the soup and I thought it would be good but then I got sick after I
ate out of the ceramic bowl and I got sleepy and-"
     [Slap!]
     "Are you implying that my cooking is bad?!" Akane's eyes started to wet.
     "_You_ cooked that porridge? You ought to stick to martial arts," he
said, after a second glance at all the trophies around the room.
     [Pow!]
     Ranma flew through the ceiling...
          in an arc...
               and down into...
                    [Splash!]
By the time the three sisters came out, he was long gone, and all they saw
was a red-haired girl running down the street with a giant panda. They never
saw Ranma again for the next several months, and when they did...well,
that's another story.


The End.


---------
Disclaimer:

This has been a production of Fractured Fairy Anime Tales.
Copywrite 1997. EJ and AL. One wrote, the other didn't. Created April 14, 1997.
All rights reserved for Rumiko Takahashi. Ranma 1/2 is some other company's
trademark and is the work of Rumiko Takahashi, except for the added stuff we
wrote here. Please don't sue us.
Goldilocks and the Three Bears was written by the Grimm Brothers. They don't
seem so grim to us.

----------

We appreciate any C&C for this little crossover; but please realize that
we're new to everything, so feel free to thrash us as needed. (No flames,
though. Please?)

"If anything is bad, blame E.J. This was _his_ idea. I'm just his editor." -AL
"Don't believe what she says." -EJ
"EJ, go away." -AL
[Grumble]