Okay...I tried  to put  this up last week, but between the revolving-
door nature of the FFML's operational periods and Prodigy Mail's 
innate screwiness, the darn thing got stuck in the bottomless pits of 
Mail Delivery Subs, so I'm going to try  resending it. This thing  
MIGHT, by nature of Murphy's Law, pop  up again at the end of the 
week. If it does, gomen nasai. It was out of my hands days  ago.

The Eternal Lost Lurker(squn29a@prodigy.com)
Notes: This is a crossover fanfic. In my opinion, there aren't enough 
good crossovers between these two series that don't bring other 
series in too, so here's  my attempt at it.
Quick warning: this starts off fairly normal, but will get weird very 
quickly, and it keeps getting weirder as it snowballs out of control. 
Basically, I'm trying to create a crossover between Ranma and 
Sailormoon in which both universes cross each other with no 
alterations, and somewhere along the line something similar to 
Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Ranma gets tossed into the mix. Oh, and with 
new Senshi even sillier than the ones in SailorStars. ^_^
Timeline notes: This happens after S but before SuperS...which 
admittedly makes this a bit tricky, but the manga fills in any gaps 
I've made. As far as Ranma continuity...I have no idea where in the 
hell to stick this. ^_^;;;

Did you know 10 out of 10 fanfic authors don't make any claims to the 
characters they use? Take time out to  credit the creators. It's 
quick, it's easy, and it's the law.

**********************

  "Martial arts classes?"
  Six girls and three cats sat in  a circle in a relatively peaceful 
Shinto shrine. Anyone who didn't know the full story of this group 
would be quite surprised to hear the black cat speak.
  "That's right. Although your powers are great, and have seen you 
through many difficult battles, we feel it would be a good idea for 
more of you to have some martial arts training."
  "She's right," added the white cat. "If any more threats show up, 
they're likely to be tougher than ever. It would help to have an edge.
"
  "It certainly couldn't hurt."
  "Yeah, and besides, it's nice to have a way to defend yourself when 
you  can't use your powers."
  The black cat nodded satisfactorily. "Alright then, it's all 
settled. Haruka and Michiru have already set up lessons for you at a 
dojo in Nerima."
  

 BISHOUJO DOJO
  Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon created by Takeuchi Naoko
  Ranma 1/2 created by Takahashi Rumiko

  "Ah, Saotome-kun, it will be so nice to have students again," said 
Tendou  Soun as he and his old friend sat sipping their tea and 
watching the sun set. 
  "Mm," Genma agreed. "You know, Tendou-kun, this would be the 
perfect opportunity..."
  "Eh, Saotome-kun? How's that?"
  "Think, Tendou-kun," Genma said. "One day, our two children will 
carry on this dojo as man and wife. Just as we must show them the 
path, just as we must bring them together, we must also make sure 
they're ready to pass on the art to others."
  Soun considered this for a moment. "Also," he added, "if we let 
them teach the new students, it means they have more time to become 
closer, and we have more time to play shogi."
  "Mm."
  "Saotome-kun," Soun said slowly, "I think it's time we told Ranma 
and Akane that they'll be taking on students tomorrow." 
  "Right!"

  "What I don't get," Usagi said as the group walked to the train 
station, "is why we have to go so far for these lessons."
  "Yeah, I mean, there's lots of good schools near Juuban," Rei 
agreed.
  "Well, from what I understand," Ami said thoughtfully, "Nerima-ku 
has a history of events almost as strange as the stuff we put up with 
here."
  "She's right," Makoto said, "I read  about stuff going on there all 
the time. Lots of really good martial artists there."
  "Mm, maybe we'll find some really cute single martial artists there,
 eh Mako-chan?" Minako and Makoto winked at each other and giggled.
  Finally, they reached the station, and boarded the train to Nerima.


  "I still don't see why we gotta teach these new students," Ranma 
grumbled as he adjusted the sleeveless red gi he seldom ever wore and 
tugged  on a pair of  fingerless padded gloves.
  Akane giggled. "I think our dads are just too lazy to do it 
themselves."
  "Probably," Ranma said. "Ah well, I guess we gotta get some 
teaching practice sometime or other." He tied a thin red headband 
around his head.
  Akane couldn't help it, and burst out laughing. "What's with the 
getup, Ranma?"
  Ranma blinked, and shrugged. "I dunno, I just thought it might make 
a good impression on the new students," he replied.
  Akane giggled again. "You look like you just stepped out of Street 
Fighter."
  Ranma smirked. "Well you look like you just stepped out of Tomboy 
Monthly," he retorted. Akane flashed him a scowl, then pointedly 
ignored him. 
  Just then, the dojo door slid open, and a figure collapsed into the 
entryway. "Koko...wa...doko...da..." the new arrival said 
breathlessly. A heavy backpack topped with a red umbrella pressed the 
yellow and black clad teenager into the floor.
  "Oh, hi Ryouga-kun!" Akane said cheerfully.
  "Oi, Ryouga," Ranma offered less than  cheerfully.
  Ryouga looked up, blinked, then wearily rose to his feet. "I...I 
made it..." Blissful happiness overcame his face for a moment, then 
he sank onto one of the benches ringing the training hall. He noticed 
for the first time how the two were dressed. "Sparring?" he suggested 
questioningly. 
  Akane shook her head. "We got roped into taking on some students 
for Dad," she told him. 
  "Students, eh? Well, you're certainly good enough to train them," 
Ryouga said. He took a look at Ranma and chuckled. "So do we call you 
Ranma, Ken, Ryu, what?"
  "Funny, Ryouga. Very funny." After a moment, Ranma said, "Why don't 
you make yourself useful and help us out?"
  "Ranma, honestly! Look how tired poor Ryouga-kun is! We couldn't 
possibly ask--"
  "No, it's fine Akane. I'd be happy to help out." Rubbing his chin 
thoughtfully, he continued, "Anyways, I haven't gotten nearly enough 
practice myself lately. I could use the exercise."
  "Well, if you're sure..."
  "Hai," Ryouga said, setting down his backpack. 

  The door leading to the house slid open. Kasumi peeked in. "Ranma, 
Akane, your new students are here. Shall I send them in? Oh, hello 
Ryouga!"
  "Hai, Kasumi-oneechan. We're ready."
  Before the students arrived, Akane mused, "I wonder what kind of 
students we'll be teaching..."
  "Probably the usual rich self-absorbed wannabe Bruce Lee types," 
Ranma smirked. Ryouga grunted an agreement. 
  What they got was not what they were expecting.

  "The dojo is ready, ladies," Kasumi said pleasantly to the six 
girls standing on the veranda of the Tendou-ke. She pointed the way 
to the dojo proper. The students bowed, and made their way to the 
entrance. 
  As they entered, three of the girls nearly fell over in the sudden 
storm of love. 
  "Wow...look at those two..." drooled Minako.
  "They both look just like my sempai," Makoto observed. Everyone 
facefaulted. 
  Rei commented, "I'm glad I decided to get some more training." 
Makoto nodded agreement. 
  "I still don't wanna be heeeere," Usagi whined. Chibi Usa kicked 
her in the shin, and the two began a raspberry war.
  A throat cleared in the dojo, and the six girls abruptly shook it 
off and stood at something resembling attention as they entered the 
dojo.
  
  Ranma whispered aside to Ryouga, "Oh man, this is *worse* than 
Bruce Lee wannabes."
  Ryouga whispered back to Ranma, "Check out the kid...ever see that 
much pink in your life?"
  Ranma whispered back, "Wonder if someone tried to teach her Cotton 
Candy Fu or something." Both snickered.
  Akane crushed their heads together none-too-gently, then turned her 
attention to the doorway and cleared her throat. 

  The six girls now stood in a line before the three sensei. They had 
changed into gis prior to being ushered into the dojo. Rei, Minako, 
and Makoto were totally comfortable with their attire. Ami seemed to 
be contemplating the heat efficiency of the fabric. Usagi was 
shifting uncomfortably, and Chibi Usa looked completely bored. Rei's 
gi was red and  bore the kanji for Hikawa Shrine on the back of the 
jacket and along the left breast. Makoto wore the traditional white 
gi, with green trim and padded gloves, and a green headband. Minako 
opted for an orange gi with her name emblazoned on the back of the 
jacket. Ami wore a dark blue gi, with no decoration whatsoever. Usagi 
wore a yellow gi covered with little moon designs, and Chibi Usa wore 
a pink Hello Kitty gi.

  Ranma gave a shuddering glance at Chibi Usa's gi, then cleared his 
throat. "Welcome, new students, to the Tendou-Saotome school of 
Anything-Goes Martial Arts. You'll be learning basic kempo here, and 
if you wish to continue beyond that, a more advanced fighting style 
unique to this school.
  "My name is Saotome Ranma. This is Tendou Akane," he said, 
gesturing at Akane, "And a friend of ours, Hibiki Ryouga, who will be 
helping us out for today. Introduce yourselves."
  Each of the girls stepped forward and introduced herself. When they 
were finished, Akane explained a few things to them, then said, "Now, 
we've been told some of you have had some previous training. So we'd 
like to start off by testing your skill level individually."
  Rei, Minako, and Makoto stepped forward. The other three hung back, 
explaining they'd had no training as of yet. Each paired up with one 
of the senseis to spar with--Makoto zeroed in on Ryouga, Minako chose 
Ranma, and Rei faced off against Akane.
  Limiting themselves to simple kempo, the three experienced martial 
artists began sparring with their students. Ryouga was surprised to 
find Makoto holding her own, getting a few good hard hits in. Not 
hard enough to damage his rocklike build, but hard enough for him to 
feel it. Minako was managing to avoid most of Ranma's strikes, 
occassionally trying to take his legs out from under him or 
attempting a flying kick. Rei and Akane seemed to be an even match, 
neither landing a blow on the other.
  Meanwhile, the others were watching, cheering on their friends. Ami 
was toying with her computer.
  "Say, whatcha doin' Ami-chan?" Usagi asked. 
  "Hmm? Oh, I'm reconfiguring my computer to scan chi."
  "Oh." Usagi still didn't get it. Idly, she commented, "You know, it 
doesn't look like those three have anything to learn here. Look how 
they're doing."
  Chibi Usa snorted. "Baka! The sensei aren't going all out."
  Ami nodded. "She's right, Usagi-chan. This is how all schools test 
their new students if they've been trained before." Taking a reading, 
she blinked. "This can't be right..."
  "Whatcha got Ami-chan?"
  Ami frowned, and scanned again. Her computer was registering the 
magical chi of three sailor senshi...and some very off-the-scale chi 
readings from the sensei. She pointed out the display to Usagi and 
Chibi Usa, who were clueless. She elaborated, "The sensei seem to 
have impossible levels of chi."
  "So...that means what?" Usagi asked.
  "Well, chi is the life energy that sustains us all--basically, when 
the Dark Kingdom was sending youma, they were in effect stealing chi 
from their victims. Without chi we can't function."
  "Okay so, you think they're monsters or something?"
  Ami shook her head. "Martial artists tend to have a lot more chi 
than untrained humans, because they learn to focus it. Although I 
can't prove the validity of the old legends, I've read many stories 
of martial arts masters who could use their chi to attack their 
opponents."
  Usagi blinked, then said, "Oh, you mean like that Ryu guy in Street 
Fighter? With the fireballs?"
  Ami nodded. "Yes, something like that."
  Their conversation was disrupted by the end of the sparring match. 
Rei, Minako, and Makoto returned to stand beside them, and the six 
returned a bow from the sensei. Akane spoke up, "Well, three of you 
seem to be fairly good already. We'll start you on some more advanced 
lessons than the others."
  Ranma and Ryouga had another conversation. 
  "That blond is fast," Ranma noted. "I bet with some training she 
could do the Amaguriken no problem."
  Ryouga nodded. "The one I was sparring with, Kino-san...she's 
pretty well seasoned. I bet she's done a bit of brawling." 
  They returned their attention to the group in front of them.

  Akane wasn't really sure what she should do next. She'd never been 
a sensei before, and the school she practiced didn't really have a 
set regimen like other schools. Ranma and Ryouga didn't really seem 
to know what to do either. So, she decided to play it by ear. "Um, 
any questions?" she asked the students.
  Ami stepped forward. "Hai, Mizuno-san?" Akane prompted.
  Ami pinked slightly. "Gomen, sensei, but I was wondering...I know 
this isn't appropriate, but would it be possible for you three to 
give us a demonstration?"
  "Demonstration?" Akane blinked.
  Everyone was looking at Ami, which made her uncomfortable, but she 
pressed on. "I'm just curious. You seem to be very skilled, and I'd 
just like to get an idea of what you're capable of."
  Makoto chimed in, "Hey, that's not a bad idea. I wouldn't mind 
seeing that myself." The others were quick to agree.
  Ranma, Akane, and Ryouga exchanged nervous glances, then shrugged 
and nodded. Akane said, "Alright, we'll move this session out into 
the yard then, so we don't damage the dojo."
  The six students blinked at that, and gulped nervously.

  "A most unusual training session, Tendou-kun," Genma observed. They 
were stationed at the doorway to the dojo, shogi board between them, 
eavesdropping on the class.  
  Tendou nodded. "Mm. But then again, perhaps it's an approach that 
will work. Making the students believe you are as nervous as they are 
tends to put them at ease, and they can perform more easily to your 
expectations."
  Genma thought about this for a minute as he moved a piece. Then he 
said, "Are you sure your daughter is just pretending to be nervous, 
Tendou-kun?"
  Soun thought about that for a minute. Then he shook his head. "Now 
that you mention it, perhaps not."
  They noted that the group was about to move out to the lawn, and 
took up their stations on the veranda accordingly.
 
  The six girls sat against the outside wall of the dojo, Akane 
standing in the entrance beside them. Ranma had abandoned his gi in 
favor of his favorite Chinese outfit, red satin tunic, black pants, 
and soft black shoes. Ryouga was clad as before, and now held his 
umbrella tightly in one hand. 
  This weapon had drawn an amused chuckle from the students until 
Ryouga had invited any of them to lift it. When Makoto almost toppled 
over from the effort, nobody said another word about it. "Besides," 
Akane told them, "That's hardly the strangest weapon used here in 
Nerima." Nobody was brave enough to ask.
  "Ready...FIGHT!"
  Ranma stood in a loose defensive stance as Ryouga charged in and 
swiped at his stomach with the umbrella. Ranma fluidly dropped to the 
ground, avoiding the strike, and swept Ryouga's legs. Anticipating 
this, the lost boy jumped, bringing his knees up under his body and 
extending his umbrella between them, intending to stab downward at 
Ranma. Ranma rolled out of the way just in time as the umbrella 
opened a small gash in the earth, then rolled up into a crouch, 
coiled his leg muscles, and sprung ten feet into the air. Ryouga 
braced for a jumpkick, but instead Ranma came in arms-first, grabbing 
Ryouga's blocking  arms at the wrists, and using his momentum to send 
the surprised Ryouga up and over as he landed.
  Ryouga rolled with the throw, coming to a halt halfway across the 
yard. With a snarl, he tore loose several bandanas from his head and 
whirled them in his fists. He released the high-speed buzzsaw cloth 
in Ranma's direction.
  Ranma decided to try something he'd been meaning to do for a while. 
He'd never actually done this in a fight before, but now was as good 
a time as any. He leapt into the path of the bandanas, eliciting a 
gasp from Akane and a blank stare from Ryouga. "He's crazy," both 
thought. The six girls looked on in confusion.
  Leaping into the midst of the cloth storm, Ranma shouted, "TENSHIN 
AMAGURIKEN!" and struck out dozens of times. By the time he landed, 
every bandana lay limp on the ground, and Ranma was completely 
uninjured. 
  "Incredible!" Ryouga shouted, amazed. Returning his attention to 
the matter at hand, he charged Ranma again. 
  Makoto blinked. "He's expecting to do any good charging in like 
that after what Ranma-sensei just did?"
  Akane chuckled, knowing what Ryouga was really up to. "Watch," she 
said.
  As Akane had expected, Ryouga angled down toward the ground as he 
approached Ranma. Ranma leapt straight up into the air as Ryouga 
shouted "BAKUSAI TENKETSU!" and jabbed the ground with a finger. 
Chunks of earth billowed into the air along with a cloud of dust and 
grass. Ranma landed on Ryouga's shoulders, and wrapped his legs 
around the lost boy's neck. Ryouga tried to dislodge him, but he was 
on the ground before he had a chance. Ranma backflipped away from 
Ryouga as the lost boy rose to try another bandana assault.
  Suddenly, Ranma charged. Ryouga abandoned the bandanas in favor of 
umbrella strikes, which never landed as Ranma dashed straight past 
him, wheeled around, and came back the other direction. "Stand still 
you coward!" Ryouga snarled.
  The students blinked. "What's he doing that for?" Usagi asked. 
"He's just running around him."
  Akane blinked as well, then realized what Ranma was about to do, 
and smirked. "That showoff," she muttered, drawing curious glances 
from the students.
  Ryouga continued to strike in vain as Ranma cycled around him in 
increasingly rapid circles. Suddenly and without warning, Ranma 
stopped, and threw a wild uppercut which came nowhere near striking.
  Suddenly Ryouga knew what Ranma was doing. He groaned, knowing this 
was going to *hurt*.
  "HIRYUU SHOTEN HA!!!!"

  The six students gasped as the glowing blue column of air cycloned 
into the sky, spraying chunks of earth and clumps of grass everywhere.
 The cyclone died down to reveal Ranma, clothes and hair rippling in 
a breeze that only he would feel. A few seconds later, Ryouga crashed 
badly into the yard, actually indenting the ground beneath him. He 
groaned as his body reminded him of Ranma's favorite chi trick. 
  "What the hell!?" Makoto gasped. 
  Akane sighed. "You girls did want to see what we can do around here.
 Don't say you weren't warned."
  Ami smirked. So that's what those readings meant, she thought to 
herself.
  Rei looked worried. "Umm...is he alright, sensei?"
  Akane looked over at Ryouga, and nodded. "Hai, he'll be fine. He's 
suffered worse."
  True to Akane's prediction, Ryouga rose to his feet, and snarled at 
Ranma.
  "Give up yet bacon-breath?" Ranma taunted.
  "Ranma! You'll pay for that!" And with that, he cupped his hands, 
which began to glow.
  Seeing this, Ranma cupped his own hands, a fierce yellow aura 
flaring around him.

  "Uh-oh," Akane said. "You girls might wanna get down." With that, 
she flattened herself against the ground. Trading worried glances, 
the six students did the same.

  "SHISHIHOUKOUDAN!"
  "MOUKOU TAKABISHA!"

  When the blinding flash of light died down, Ranma and Ryouga were 
revealed. Both were on their knees, gasping for breath, looking a 
little singed. They shakily rose to their feet. 
  Ranma walked over to Ryouga and held out a hand. "Draw?"
  Ryouga nodded, and clasped the offered hand. "Draw." 
  With that, they turned back to their shocked students, and motioned 
toward the dojo. Akane clouted each of them hard on the head as they 
walked past.
  "Ranma to Ryouga no bakara."

  A consciousness stirred. The entity found itself floating endlessly 
in a place with no substance. 
  The entity tried to remember how it got there, and who it was. 
Slowly, ever so slowly, as it recovered its wits, it knew.
  And it came to a conclusion.
  This absolutely sucked.


____
------------------------------------------------------------
The Eternal Lost Lurker
http://pages.prodigy.com/RMorrison
"mugen he to hirake fushigi yuugi"