All right, I'll jump on the bandwagon... Here's my entry:

(scene: A desolate field. A straggly, leafless bush is all that marks the 
setting. A girl with tomboyishly short, dark hair stands, examining the 
plant, while another girl with red hair tied into a ponytail lies on the 
ground, hands behind head. A brass kettle sits next to the red-head.)

Akane: Look at this place! There's nothing here but this dead bush!

onna-Ranma: Stupid tomboy. That's a shrub. Everyone knows the difference 
between a bush and a shrub.

Akane: (looks at the plant with greater intensity) No, I'm positive. 
That's a bush.

Ranma: Shrub.

Akane: (getting angry) Bush!

Ranma: (rising to the challenge) Shrub!

Akane: BUSH!

Ranma: SHRUB!

Akane: RANMA NO BAKA! (yanks the dead plant out of the ground and hurls 
it at Ranma)

Ranma: Whadja do _that_ for? (rubbing head) This must be the wrong place! 
Stupid tomboy!

Akane: (still angry) This is exactly where we're supposed to wait. You 
said so yourself.

Ranma: I'm tired of being a girl. I wanna change back.

Akane: (takes kettle and advances towards Ranma) We've always got this, 
you know.

Ranma: (backs away suddenly) Hey, no way! I can't touch hot water, not now!

Akane: (puts kettle back down) So, what should we do now?

Ranma: (lies back down) Dunno. We wait.

Akane: Who are we waiting for again?

Ranma: We're waiting for Cologne.

Akane: And what will happen when she comes?

Ranma: (eyeing the kettle) We'll be saved.


ABSURD PRODUCTIONS PRESENTS...
COMING SOON TO NO SELF-RESPECTING FANFICTION MAILING LIST:

WAITING FOR COLOGNE
AN EXISTENTIAL RANMA 1/2 FANFIC!


    Sorry 'bout that. Anyway...

---
Raphael See