Kasumi had just finished cleaning up after breakfast when
there was a huge explosion from the Dojo area. She rushed out
quickly to see a large area around the pond had been blackened
and destroyed.
Ranma and Ryouga were picking themselves up from the
ground as Happosai cackled and laughed from the garden wall.
"What the hell are you doing here old freak?", Ranma
asked angrily.
"Not bad my boy", Happosai said, "You avoided that well,
but I'm not here for *you* this time".
Ranma gave him a strange look, "You're not?", she asked.
Happosai narrowed his eyes, "I'm here for *him*", he
pronounced, point directly at Brett.
Soun began crying, "Oh no.. I finally find a fiancee for
Kasumi, now he's going to die horribly...", he wailed
miserably.
Akane looked at Brett, "What did you do to him to make
him this angry?", she asked.
Brett smiled nervously, "Well... I kinda stopped him from
stealing my shopping..", he said.
Ranma looked at Brett speculatively and Brett shrugged,
"He also happened to be stomped into the ground by a bunch of
angry women...", he confessed.
"That's right!!", Happosai said angrily, "And he caused
me to lose a whole night's work!".
Ranma grinned and turned to Happosai, "Looks like you got
just what you deserved then", she said.
Happosai turned red, "How *dare* you!", he screamed, "I
am your master!!!".
Ranma gave a disdainful sniff, "I've got more important
things to do then worry about old perverts like you", she
said, turning to Ryouga.
Ryouga grinned, "Come on then", he encouraged.
The two went back to fighting, ignoring Happosai.
Happosai looked around angrily for a while and then jumped
down to where Brett was standing, "Here!", he said shoving
something into Brett's hand, "I expect to see you there!".
Kasumi walked over to Brett to see him hold up a pair of
silken panties with the words, "The park tomorrow, noon",
written across it.
Brett gave her a curious look, "Does this kinda thing
happen very often around here?", he asked.
******
"'Yes' she says!", I muttered to myself. I was sitting
miserably on the edge of the pond in the Tendo's backyard. I
idly watched a fish leap out of the water to grab a small
insect that had foolishly gotten too close, "Hmm.. maybe
someone's trying to tell me something", I mused.
I heard a step behind me and glanced over my shoulder to
see Kasumi walk over to sit beside me. During lunch, I had
been treated to a description of Happosai's martial arts
techniques and it seemed to be everyone's considered opinion
that I was gonna get creamed.
"Are you alright?", Kasumi asked.
I nodded, "I'm just not used to so much 'organised
violence'", I replied, "I mean I sure I've ever accepted a
formal 'challenge' before".
Kasumi smiled, "You've been lucky... just about every
week someone challenges someone around here", she pointed out.
I laughed, "Well, perhaps I've lived a sheltered life
then.. I've only had to deal with the occasional Demon that
doesn't like me", I replied.
Kasumi nodded, "Oh we've had our fair share of those
too", she added.
"HEY!", cried Ranma-chan, running up to us, "Have you
seen Ryouga?".
I shook my head, "Nope, I'm afraid not", I replied, "Why
are you after him anyway?".
Ranma shrugged, "He's got some information I want", she
said.
"I've been wanting to ask you if you had any tips on
beating Happosai", I asked.
Ranma-chan thought for a moment, "Go and see Cologne", he
suggested, "I think she'd be better advising you than me".
I glanced at Kasumi and she nodded, "Cologne is probably
the best person to advise you", she agreed.
Ten minutes later I found myself walking into a
restaurant called the 'Cat Cafe' - I shuddered and hoped that
the name wasn't reflective of what was offered on the menu. A
young man with long hair and *thick* glasses was waiting
tables and he gave me a welcoming smile, "Please take a seat
and I will be with you in a moment", he greeted me.
I nodded and took a seat near one of the windows. A few
moments later the young man walked over to me with a note pad,
"What can I get you?", he asked.
"Actually I was looking for an elderly lady named
'Cologne"", I replied.
The young man gave me a frank look, "Are you sure you
want to see that withered up old monkey?", he asked.
An expertly thrown wooden bowl hit him in the side of the
head, "MOUSSE!!", bellowed (yes, *BELLOWED*) an hunched over
figure from the kitchen door.
Mousse searched around for his glasses (since they had
been knocked off by the impact), "I'm sure she could hear a
pin drop", he muttered. I found his glasses and passed them
to him as I stood, "I'll go and talk to her myself", I advised
him.
I walked across the room and made my way into the
kitchen, "What do you want?", asked an old lady, who was
sitting in front of some cooking noodles.
I looked around the room carefully, "Nice place you've
got here", I ventured.
"I would take that as the opening remarks of a person
wanting to buy my establishment, or someone attempting to
start a conversation about an uncomfortable subject", she said
dryly.
I sighed, "Well... I'm hear to ask you about Happosai", I
began.
"Ahhh", Cologne said, her eyes widening slightly, "You
are the one he has challenged".
I grinned wryly, "Yeah... right, can you give me any
suggestions as to how to handle him?", I asked.
Cologne pondered it for a moment, "Perhaps you should
consider his one weakness", she said.
"Which is?", I encouraged her.
"Panties!", she said firmly.
"Panties?", I echoed.
Cologne nodded, "It is both his strength and weakness, he
must have them.. or he loses strength", she confirmed.
I rubbed my temple (I was starting to get a slight
headache), "You're telling me.. this guy that everyone's
afraid of... his weakness is panties?", I asked.
"Yes", Cologne confirmed.
I leant back against a wall, "Alright... thankyou I
guess", I replied.
"Not at all... it is good to have a god in your debt",
Cologne responded nonchalantly.
I did a double take and gave her a level stare, "I'm
afraid that you're mistaken", I replied.
Cologne smiled, "That you're a god?", she asked.
"What I meant was", I replied, "you're making a mistake
if you think a mortal can make a binding contract with a god
in that way".
Cologne blinked in surprise, "Then you don't deny that
you're a god?", she asked.
I shrugged, "Wether I am or not, you've obviously already
made up your mind.. I was just informing you that mortals can
not instigate a contract in that way, it requires a formal
declaration of the debt.. which I am not prepared to make", I
explained (in legalese for those that can't recognise the
dialect).
Cologne nodded, "I shall remember that in the future",
she replied.
******
Slipping open the door, I stepped into the Doctor's
office, looking around I was surprised to see a large panda
sitting behind the reception desk. The room was almost full
of patients waiting to see the doctor.
<Hello There>, said a sign that the Panda held up.
I nodded, "You're Ranma's father aren't you?", I asked.
The panda nodded and grunted, <What can I do for you?>,
he asked.
"Oh.. Kasumi asked me to return this book for her", I
said, holding it up. At my words there was a muttered gasp
echoed around the room and in less than five seconds I found
myself alone with the Panda.
I gave the Panda an amazed look and it just shrugged,
<You're next!>, it invited me, leading me inside
I warily followed it into the room and was pleasantly
surprised to see that the doctor seemed to be what could be
termed a 'normal' person. "Hello there", he greeted me, "What
can I do for you?".
I shook hands with him, "The name's Brett", I said,
introducing myself, "I've heard some good things about you Dr
Tofu".
He nodded and smiled, "It's always nice to hear that
one's reputation is good", he said, "Where are you from?".
We talked for about five minutes before I got onto the
reason I'd come, "Kasumi asked me to return this for her", I
said, holding out the book.
Suddenly the Doctor's glasses fogged up and his face took
on a stupefied expression, "K..K... Kasumi?", he asked,
looking at the book.
"Uhh.. Yeah, since I had to visit Cologne, she suggested
that I drop this in for her", I explained.
<This is Kasumi's boyfriend>, The Panda said helpfully.
Dr Tofu lost his bemused expression at that, "Her what?",
he asked.
I shrugged, "I'm not really", I said to him, "I'm just
helping her out with a few things".
<He's *engaged* to her>, The Panda continued.
Dr Tofu's eyes bugged out and he spluttered, "But.. when
did this happen?!?!", he asked in a broken voice.
<Just the other night!>, explained the Panda.
Dr Tofu sighed, "Oh.. I see", he said, then he turned to
me, "Congratulations.. you're a very lucky man".
I sighed, "Look Doc.. I'm afraid there's been a mix up
here", I complained, "I don't want to marry Kasumi!".
"You don't?", he asked in confusion, "Then why are you
engaged to her?!?".
"It was her father's idea", I said, "I'm staying with the
Tendo's for a while, kinda helping Kasumi with some things and
next thing I know I'm engaged to her!".
"What's the matter??", Tofu asked, his eyes widening in
surprise, "You object to being engaged to her??!?!".
"No.. err... well yes... ", I explained, "I'm just not in
a position where I can marry as I please".
The doctor sighed, "Well I wish the both of you the best,
no matter what happens", he said with a strained smile, "Now
is there anything else I can do for you?".
I shook my head and bit him goodbye, walking outside just
as the sun was setting. Just walking for a bit I made my way
slowly back to the Tendo home, pondering what to do.
******
Urd and Skuld appeared in the bathroom of the Tendo home,
"Are you sure this is alright?", Skuld asked, looking around
nervously.
"Of course it is", Urd replied confidently, sliding the
door open a crack, "I'm sure no one's around at the moment".
"I still don't see how we're going to help", Skuld
complained, "Brett said was handling things by himself".
"Well.. I have the feeling that Brett wasn't telling us
the *complete* truth", Urd replied. The two of them carefully
walked through the house, looking for the object of their
trip, Kasumi.
They found her humming to herself in the kitchen, "What
exactly are we going to do?", Skuld whispered.
"I think we should just keep an eye on her for the
moment", Urd whispered back, "We don't want to make anyone
suspicious".
"AHEM!", came a voice from behind them, "Who exactly are
you and what are you doing in our house".
Urd and Skuld exchanged a glance and then stepped out of
their hiding place under the steps, "Err.. would you believe
we're here to check the gas meter?", Urd asked hopefully.
"I don't think so", replied Nabiki, "I think I'd better
phone the police".
"Hang on a minute.. we're just looking for a friend of
ours", she began.
A moment later one of the walls exploded and a voice
shouted, "Where Ranma?".
Nabiki sighed, "He's not here Shampoo", she called, "And
I'm invoicing you for that wall!".
Urd and Skuld looked on in amazement as a long *purple*
haired girl emerged from the ruins of the wall, "Where is
he?", Shampoo asked Nabiki.
Nabiki smiled, "That information is going to cost you",
she said.
Skuld and Urd began to back slowly out of the house,
"This place is *worse* than Brett described", Skuld muttered.
"Did you say 'Brett'?", Nabiki asked, her eye's
narrowing. Shampoo was still demanding that Nabiki turn over
Ranma when Nabiki had a brainwave, she pointed at Urd and
Skuld, "They'll know.. since they are friends of Brett and
he's a friend of Ranma".
Shampoo thought for a moment on this (cause some of the
words had more than one syllable) then she turned to Urd,
"YOU!", she demanded, "Where is groom?".
Urd shrugged, "No idea", she replied.
"YOU LIE!", Shampoo accused, "Maybe you want groom for
yourself?!? well Shampoo not let you have!". With that
Shampoo started forward, her bonburi at the ready.
Urd sighed, "Oh no.. Brett's not going to be happy with
this", she thought.
Shampoo had just about reached her when Urd figured 'What
the hell' and cast a quick sleep-spell on her. Shampoo fell
to the ground and began snoring blissfully. "I think we'd
better get out of here now", Skuld suggested.
Urd sighed, "So much for helping the situation", she
groaned. Brett would be quite upset when he heard what had
gone on, but then she had only been trying to help (and keep
and eye on Kasumi..). The two goddesses walked past an amazed
Nabiki (a rare sight indeed) and into the living room. A
moment later there was a flash and when Nabiki arrived a few
seconds later, both of them were gone.
******
I arrived back at the Tendo Dojo after a long walk to
clear my head, some things had become clearer and others more
clouded. It was early evening as I walked into the dining
room. I vaguely noticed that one of the walls had been
destroyed, then I did a double-take - I'd only been here a few
days and the destruction of the wall didn't even ring any
alarm bells. Stepping over a bicycle that was lying discarded
in the middle of the hall I peaked my head around into the
lounge room. Nabiki was sitting in one chair, comfortably
reading a book, while in the other Shampoo was sleeping
peacefully.
"Good Afternoon", I whispered to Nabiki.
Nabiki gave me a speculative look, "Why are you
whispering?", she asked, loudly.
I glanced at Shampoo, expecting her to wake at the sudden
noise. Shampoo mumbled something that sounded suspiciously
like "Ranma" and curled up into a more comfortable position in
the seat. "Oh don't worry about her", said Nabiki, "Your
friend zapped her into unconsciousness".
I nodded, "Fair enough... now I was wondering...", I
suddenly stopped. "My what??", I demanded.
"Oh this girl... blond hair, neat clothes and the little
girl with her was carrying a large mallet", Nabiki explained.
I held up my hands, "Hang on a minute... ", I begged,
"Urd and Skuld where here? ".
Nabiki shrugged, "I never got their names.. they just
appeared... zapped Shampoo and left", she replied.
I fell into a chair, "Just great", I sighed, "As if
things weren't complicated enough... Urd has to butt in".
"So I want you to tell me *exactly* who you are and why
you are here!", Nabiki said, "Or else!".
I sighed, "Look Nabiki.. I'm just here to help Kasumi
along a little bit.. I'm *not* her boyfriend/fiancee.. I'm
just someone that wants to help", I explained.
"And what do you get out of it?", Nabiki asked pointedly.
I shrugged, "Helping people is it's own reward", I
replied.
Nabiki shuddered, "What are you?? a priest?", she asked
sarcastically.
I smiled, "Close... but not quite accurate", I replied,
walking from the room, leaving Nabiki to think. I walked
outside and sat on the steps overlooking the pond, it was
quite peaceful and I found myself beginning to doze off.
"RYOUGA!!!", came a call from just over the wall. I
hurriedly backed away from the sudden grey mist that covered
the wall and nearby landing. A second later Ryouga came
bursting through the wall, followed by an enraged Ranma.
Ryouga was looking decidedly worse for wear, his backpack
was shredded and his umbrella was cracked almost in half. He
was also bleeding from several cuts along his arms. "What the
hell are you doing!?!?!", I demanded of Ranma, standing
between him and Ryouga, "Leave Ryouga alone!".
Ranma snorted and pushed me out of the way easily. I
stumbled a few steps backward and fell heavily down the steps.
Coming to rest against a large rock. I wiped some blood from
a cut on my cheek, "Well that's not a nice way to treat a
guest", I groaned.
Ryouga, who was about to jump the other wall turned at my
exclamation. He growled at Ranma, "You would attack a
defenseless person?", he asked dangerously, "Ranma you have no
honour!!!". Ryouga jumped down from the wall and faced off
against Ranma, the two of them stood opposite each other,
fighting auras visible in the air around them.
I stood and walked over to Ranma, "You're pretty tough..
fighting a guy that's never trained in Martial Arts before", I
said sarcastically, "No wonder you're cursed".
Ranma turned his angry gaze on me, "Then you shouldn't
have gotten in my way", he said flatly, "I'm going to be cured
and Ryouga knows how".
I shook my head, "Ryouga doesn't have a cure yet", I said
carefully, "That's just something temporary to keep him from
changing".
Ranma grabbed the front of my shirt (if I'd been shorter
than him I'm sure he'd have tried to pick me up.. but since I
towered over him... it really didn't impress me much), "WHAT
THE HELL DO YOU KNOW ABOUT IT!?!?!", he demanded.
"RANMA!!!", Akane called from where she'd just walked out
onto the veranda, "What are you doing to Brett?!?".
Ranma glanced in her direction, "Stay out of this Akane..
I think this guy knows how I can be cured..", he ordered.
Kasumi joined her sister on the porch, "Ranma, that's not
a very nice way of getting someone to tell you something", she
said reproachfully, "I'm sure if you asked nicely Brett would
tell you".
I shook my head, "Nope... I don't do favours for people
who threaten me", I said firmly.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN??", Ranma demanded, raising his fist.
I looked at him squarely, "Punching me won't get you a
cure.. in fact it'll have just the opposite effect", I
promised.
With an effort, Ranma lowered his fist and let go of my
shirt, "What do you want?", he demanded, "I'll give you
whatever it takes to get me cured!".
I shook my head, "If you'd just asked in the first
place.. I'd have helped you..", I replied, looking him
straight in the eye, "But now....".
Akane stepped forward, "You mean you really *can* cure
Ranma?", she asked in amazement, "Who are you?".
I shook my head, "Not yet.. I still need to research a
few things before I make up the potion...", I explained. I
glanced over at Ryouga, who was wobbling on his feet, "I think
Ryouga needs a bit of first-aid", I pointed out (and avoiding
Akane's second question), then I gingerly touched my own
injury and winced.
Kasumi immediately produced a first-aid kit and began
bandaging the nearly unconscious Ryouga. Akane passed me a
patch to cover my own cut, everyone seemed to be ignoring a
fuming Ranma.
"So how about we sit down and talk about this?", I asked
Ranma carefully.
Ranma gave me an almost hate-filled glare, "You're very
sure of yourself for someone who just came within an inch of
beaten up", he observed.
"I *knew* you wouldn't hit me Ranma", I replied
confidently, "Despite what Ryouga may think... you are
honourable enough in your own way". I didn't mention the fact
that my 'sixth sense' would have warned me if he was actually
going to hurt me.
Ranma sighed and shook his head, "It's just that I've
come so close to a cure so many times....", he explained,
"That I tend to go a little nuts when someone waves it in
front of my face".
I nodded, "Well.. I can't really *promise* a cure.. but I
can give you a temporary one like Ryouga if you like...", I
offered.
Akane (who was tending Ryouga's injuries) looked up at
the mention of Ryouga having a curse, "Ryouga's cursed?", she
asked curiously, "What's he turn into?".
I was about to reply when Ranma clapped a hand over my
mouth, "Err... he's a.. umm.... fish!", Ranma concluded.
Akane looked down at Ryouga dubiously, "And how do you
drown a fish?", she asked curiously.
Ranma began to sweat and I gave him a curious look, "How
*do* you drown a fish??", I asked curiously.
"Err... that is... umm....", Ranma replied
unintelligently.
"Perhaps the water had some salt leeched into it?", I
suggested.
Ranma nodded, "Yeah that's it! The fish drowned cause the
water went funny!", he concluded.
Akane gave him a sceptical look, then shrugged and turned
back to where she was bandaging Ryouga's arm. Ranma gestured
to me and we walked a little distance away from the others,
"Don't mention Ryouga's curse!", he warned me seriously.
I frowned, "Why's that?", I asked.
Ranma quickly explained how he'd been the one to cause
Ryouga's curse and how he'd promised Ryouga that he wouldn't
tell Akane. "But.. Akane calls him 'P-Chan' doesn't she?", I
said, confused.
"She doesn't know about the curse.. and thinks P-Chan
*really* is a pig!", Ranma insisted, "She'd kill him... if she
ever found out otherwise".
"And you?", I guessed, "For not telling her?".
Ranma nodded and shuddered slightly, "You don't ever want
to see Akane coming after you with that hammer of her's", he
warned.
I nodded in agreement and then turned back to where
Ryouga was regaining consciousness. Then Ryouga noticed that
Akane was tending his wounds and he went right back into
unconsciousness. I sighed shook my head, "That guy's really
got it bad for Akane", I observed.
Ranma bristled slightly and gave an affirmative nod. I
gestured to him to go into the Dojo, "Come on.. let's see
about that temporary cure", I said.
******
Kasumi and Akane finished packing away the first aid kit
and noticed that Brett and Ranma had disappeared. "Where did
those two go?", Kasumi wondered.
Akane shrugged and pulled Ryouga over so he was lying
against the steps. A sound like thunder suddenly drew the two
girls' attention towards the Dojo, "What was that?", Kasumi
wondered.
They hurried over to the Dojo and rushed up the steps,
"HOLD IT!", Brett bellowed as they went to go in through the
door. He pointed at their feet, "Don't break the circle", he
ordered firmly.
Akane looked in amazement as Ranma was sitting in the
middle of a huge pentagram, with his eye's closed, "What are
you doing?", Akane demanded.
Brett looked up from where he was finishing the design on
the other side of the room, "What Ranma asked me to", he
replied, "Now please be quite and let me think!".
"Yeah right!", Ranma called from the middle of the
Pentagram, "Like she could keep her mouth shut for five
minutes!".
Akane resisted the urge to cross the line and pummel him,
and instead walked over to Brett, "What exactly are you going
to do?", she asked (and the tone in her voice was pretty
insistent).
Brett sighed, "I'm going to lock him into his current
form.. that way no magic will be able to alter it in any
way..", he explained.
"And that will cure him?", Akane asked hopefully.
Brett shook his head, "I'm not sure how long it'll last..
it depends on how much power I put into it", he said.
Akane frowned, "Power? what kind of power?", she asked.
Brett grinned and wiggled his fingers at her, "Magic!",
he announced.
Akane was about to scoff that magic was something that
didn't exist, but before she could say anything Brett
completed the last line of the pentagram and it began glowing
with a blue radiance. "You can open your eyes now Ranma",
Brett announced, "Just try not to move around at all".
Ranma opened his eyes and looked at the huge pentagram
spread around him, "How long is this going to take?", he asked
nervously.
Brett stood and began gently gesturing and chanting in a
strange language. "Not long", Ryouga said from the doorway,
"He'll be chanting for about 5 minutes".
Ranma gave him a hostile glance, "You're not going to
interfere?", he asked.
Ryouga shook his head, "I won't", he said, sitting on the
floor.
Energy began to crackle between Brett's hands, running
across his arms and down his legs. Suddenly he raised his
hands to the ceiling and spoke a word of power, the lightning
impacted straight into the pentagram and flowed around it like
water.
A voice called from the darkness, "NO YOU CAN'T TAKE AWAY
MY RANMA-CHAN!", and a small figure darted into the Dojo,
carrying a bucket of water. Happosai flung the bucket
directly at a startled Ranma (who having been told not to move
and watching lightning dance around him.. didn't dodge).
Brett reeled back in pain as his spell finished, "No!",
he said weakly.
A wind blew up from nowhere and the last, blackened
fragments of the Pentagram blew away into the night. Ranma-
Chan stood in the middle of the Dojo, water dripping from her
nose. It pooled around her feet and she screamed in
frustration, "NO!!!!!".
"Oh My!", Kasumi exclaimed.
******
I awoke slowly, the pain in my head made a hangover look
good in comparison. Forcing one eye open, I quickly shut it
again against the blinding light. Just lying there I began to
notice noises around me, to my right was a light
snoring/mumbling sound. I decided to take a chance and opened
my eyes, the pain was considerably less this time and I began
to make out objects around me, it was obviously daytime and
probably somewhere near midday since there were few shadows to
be seen. Tilting my head to the right I made out the figure
of a sleeping Ranma-Chan, lying beside me on the floor.
She was mumbling lightly in her sleep. "Hmm.. pity she's
really a guy", I thought absently. Sitting up I found that my
sense of balance wasn't too far off and after a moment I stood
and walked over to the window. Opening the blinds I saw that
it was indeed late in the morning, "Nice day", I observed.
I was in the guest room that I had shared with Ranma and
her father. Yawning I walked out of the room and down the
hall to the bathroom. Taking a few minutes to splash some
water on my face I looked at myself in the mirror, what I saw
looking back at me made me shudder, I looked awful. My face
was a pale white colour and my eyes were bloodshot. Obviously
I'd been overdoing it in the spellcasting department.
Almost stumbling downstairs I walked into the dining room
and sat down at the table. "How are you feeling this
morning?", Kasumi asked me worriedly.
I managed a grin, "A *lot* better than I look", I
replied, "Not that it would be difficult".
Soun glanced at me from where he was reading his paper,
"Are you sure You're up to facing The Master?", he said
(practically begging me to say no).
I shrugged, "If he's as bad as you all seem to think..
then will it matter if I'm a bit tired?", I asked.
Genma walked into the room, "Perhaps if you asked him
nicely he'll let you have until tomorrow?", he suggested.
I shook my head, "Look.. I've got until noon..", I began.
The clock on the wall took that moment to chime. I examined
it more closely, a quarter to twelve.
Akane and Nabiki walked into the room, arguing angrily.
"I can't believe you!", Akane said angrily, "Anything to make
money!".
Nabiki nodded, "Of course", she replied, "What else?".
I stood, "Well.. I guess I'm off to the park...", I
announced.
Soun and Genma both began waving farewell, until Akane
came up behind them, "Of course we'll *ALL* be there to cheer
you on!", she said pointedly.
Genma and Soun looked decidedly depressed at her comment
and shuffled their feet nervously, "Must we?", Soun whined, "I
do so want to finish my crossword...".
"And I was looking forward to washing my hair", Genma
added, rubbing his bear head.
Kasumi stood up with me, picking up a basket, "I made a
picnic lunch for everyone", she announced. I gave her a
curious look, but all she returned was a slight smile.
Genma snapped his fingers, "Ahh.. that's right.. I
forgot.. I'm bald... ", he rubbed the back of his neck
nervously, "In that case I'm happy to go along..".
Soun, now without support and facing the prospect of
missing out on one of Kasumi's lunches, picked up his paper,
"I can always finish this at the park", he announced.
Akane looked at the ceiling, "What about Ranma?", she
wondered.
I shrugged, "Don't worry.. she should sleep another hour
or two", I explained. Since I'd cast a quick sleep spell on
her last night when she'd threatened to turn violent, I had a
pretty good idea of when she'd wake up.
I enjoyed the walk to the park, it was a pleasant day,
sunny and clear. As we walked I passed Kasumi one of my
cards, "Here.. this is a number where some friends of mine can
be reached at... just in case", I explained.
Kasumi nodded and slipped it into her basket. A few
minutes later we arrived at the place Happosai had chosen for
our fight. The park was mostly deserted (it seemed that news
about Happosai being in a certain place assured you it would
be vacant).
I helped Kasumi spread out her blanket and then sat down
and just relaxed for a while, "Are you sure you want to go
through with this?", Akane asked.
I sighed, "I wish everyone would stop asking that... I
can't believe *anyone* is that dangerous", I complained.
"Don't underestimate him", Genma insisted.
Soun nodded solemnly, "The master is like a Demon from
hell in a fight", he intoned, "No one can defeat him!".
"You might as well lie down and accept the inevitable",
Genma agreed.
Akane didn't say anything and looked slightly downcast.
I glanced over to Nabiki, "What are the odds?", I asked.
Nabiki looked depressed, "I'm giving 200 to 1 against
you.. but no one is betting", she sighed.
I reached into my back pocket and pulled out my wallet,
"Here.. put this down on me", I suggested, "There's nearly
10,000 Yen in there".
Nabiki brightened as she took the wallet, "At least I'll
make something out of this", she said in an almost cheerful
voice.
I shook my head and looked around, "So where's the old
pervert?", I asked.
"It's not quite midday yet", came a raspy voice from
behind me, "Happi's always been punctual when it came to a
fight". I nodded to Cologne (who had just walked up with
Shampoo and Mousse in tow) and then noticed the dark
expression that I was getting from Shampoo, "What's your
problem?", I asked.
"You girlfriend defeat Shampoo and then flee before I
give kiss", she declared, "Where she go?".
"Home", I replied shortly.
"Where that?", Shampoo demanded angrily.
I gave her a strange look, "Why?", I asked.
"Revenge.. is custom of village", she replied.
I looked at her serious expression and burst out
laughing. I took me several moments before I could control
myself enough to speak, "You're going to go up against Urd?
Believe me little girl.. You're biting off more than you can
chew!", I laughed.
Shampoo looked outraged and advanced towards me with fire
in her eyes. "Granddaughter", Cologne said calm voice, "You
don't want to do that".
Shampoo looked back at her grandmother, <Grandmother..
you can't be serious... he looks like he could barely stand
up.. let alone fight me>, she replied in Chinese.
I rubbed my eyes tiredly, "If You're going to attack me..
hurry up about it", I said.
Shampoo looked surprised and carefully stepped back to
her grandmother, "We talk later", she said finally.
I nodded wearily and looked around for Happosai, "Where
is that little bugger", I muttered.
"RIGHT HERE!", Happosai called from the far end of the
vacant lot, "Now it's time for you to be destroyed... you
first humiliate me in public... then you try to take away my
fair Ranma-Chan... you must pay horribly!".
I sighed and walked towards him, holding my hands out
wide, "Well.. hurry up then and beat me up", I insisted, "I'm
too tired to put up much of a fight at the moment".
Happosai charged forward, a small bomb in each hand. I
had planned on him attacking me violently, but not with his
little grenades. Flinging up a shield, the bombs exploded
harmlessly against the magical barrier. Happosai stopped and
frowned as his bombs did no damage. "You have some power
then", he admitted.
I forced my attention on the next spell I had prepared,
fishing into my memories I pulled up an image of Urd, clad
only in the lacy thing she called a 'nightgown' (you'd be
surprised at the clothing - or lack thereof - that Urd wears
around the temple).
Happosai began to drool, "SWEETY!", he bellowed and ran
gibbering towards her. I dropped my shield and waited. Three
seconds later Happosai executed the largest 'Glomp' in
history. About 0.1 seconds after that, he realised that it
was an illusion. Then 0.25 seconds later he impacted into a
good size boulder.
I coughed a bit at the dust that it threw up, "I hope Urd
never finds out about this", I muttered.
Soun and Genma were dancing a little jig, singing
something about 'die pervert die'. I was feeling a bit light-
headed so I began to carefully make my way back to the
blanket. A figure suddenly hopped over my head, blocking my
path.
A rumpled and dirty Happosai looked at me speculatively
and then shrugged, "So much the better", he said, pulling out
a scroll. He began chanting in some kind of magical tongue.
The wind began to blow, a chill breeze that seemed to cut
right through my clothing. I shivered, "Trying to freeze me
to death?", I asked curiously.
Happosai ignored me and continued chanting, his voice
rising deafeningly. I noticed that some low clouds were
beginning to form above us and the sun was swallowed by by
them. "Weather control doesn't really frighten me much", I
said calmly.
"But this will!", Happosai declared as he finished the
spell, "NOW TEACH HIM A LESSON!"
A brilliant billow of fire leapt up from in front of him,
blackening the earth and causing the grass around it to smoke.
>From that pillar of flame, a manlike shape began to emerge,
horrible in appearance, it had four huge arms, with razor-
sharp claws on the end of them. It's head was a cross between
a rhino and an elephant, but it's mouth was fully of wicked-
looking teeth. It stood nearly seven feet tall and sparks
crackled from the earth as it walked.
It was at this point that I began to panic. Quickly
throwing up a forcefield spell I tried to think of a way out.
The Demon walked up to my forcefield and brought one of it's
fists down on it. There was a deafening roar and the Demon
was flung backwards a few paces. I frowned in surprise, "Now
that's something I didn't expect", I observed.
"You're telling me!", the Demon growled, sitting up and
shaking it's head. It stood and walked over to the edge of my
shield, gingerly testing it with a finger, "That's a nice
forcefield", it complimented me.
I blinked in surprise, "Thank you", I replied.
The Demon began to pace around the shield, testing it
occasionally, "Neat... well constructed... little energy
expenditure... I've never seen a mage construct a shield
that's so impervious to my physical attacks".
I shrugged a little weakly, "I've had a bit of practice",
I admitted.
The Demon nodded, "Well.. it's been nice knowing you..
but I'm afraid that I've gotta fulfil my contract now and kill
you", it said, almost apologetically.
Happosai was jumping up and down, "Well hurry up and
finish him off!", he demanded.
The Demon sighed and ground it's teeth in frustration,
"Alright.. I'll get around to it... it's just nice to meet
someone who's serious about spellcasting.. and not a dabbler
like you", it replied.
"If you don't hurry up I won't let you out for another
hundred years!", Happosai threatened.
The Demon shrugged, "Promises, Promises", it mumbled.
Then it began casting a fireball spell. I winced as the spell
impacted into my shield. But was surprised when I felt the
shield take only a little. The Demon was obviously surprised
too, because it's jaw dropped and it stared in amazement.
"Alright!", the Demon said (getting angry), "Enough Mr Nice
Demon...". It drew up as much energy as it was capable of and
threw it at me in one huge burst.
The shield shuddered and almost buckled, but it held out.
The Demon dropped to the ground in exhaustion. I heard a
cheer from behind me and noticed that Soun and Genma were
dancing around in a circle. Kasumi was smiling broadly and
Akane was grinning openly. Only Nabiki looked downcast.
Happosai ran over and tried to force his Demon back to it's
feet, "Come on.. get up... You're suppose to be all
powerful!", he insisted.
The Demon slowly regained it's feet and looked at me,
"Who are you?", it asked slowly.
I dropped the shield and walked (trying not to stagger)
over to it. Pulling out a wallet I showed him my ID card.
The Demon nodded and gave it back to me, "That'd be my luck",
it groaned, "My master would have to try to pick on a God".
Happosai looked confused, "A what?", he asked in a small
voice.
Then it sat up, "Hey!", it exclaimed angrily, "That's not
in my contract!". It spoke a word and a large scroll appeared
in one of it's hands, reading quickly it got about half way
through before it came to a passage. Which it read carefully:
------------------------------------------------------------
DEMON SUMMONING - SUB PARAGRAPH A - SECTION 5
At no time shall the summoner force or trick the summoned to
engage in hostile actions with Gods above class level 4 -
breach of this contract entitles the summoned to the
summoner's immortal soul or eternal freedom on the mortal
world
------------------------------------------------------------
The Demon looked at me, "What class are you?", it asked.
I shrugged, "Class two... ", I admitted.
It smiled in triumph, "There.. now I've got your soul!",
it said to Happosai.
Happosai shrank back and I tapped the Demon on the
shoulder, "You *really* want *his* soul?", I asked seriously.
The Demon shook it's head, "Naw.. I guess not", it said,
"I'll settle for bringing ruin and destruction to the whole
planet". It began rubbing it's hands together in anticipation
of the damage it would cause, "Oh this is gonna be good!", it
enthused.
I sighed, "Well.. there's only one problem with your
plan", I said, whispering a quick spell.
It looked up curiously, "What's that?", it asked.
I pointed down at it's feet and it noticed the shackle-
spell I'd cast on it's feet. The Demon howled in pain as it
tried to move, "That's not fair!", it shouted, "I should be
free to roam the Worlf uhggg". I finished another spell and a
gag appeared around it's mouth. Then I turned to Happosai,
"Are you finished?", I asked him.
******
Kasumi and the others were smiling happily as Brett
walked past Happosai and sat down once again at the blanket.
"Well done!", Soun encouraged, "That's the way to do it!".
Brett nodded and wearily laid down on the blanket, his face
was rather pale and drawn.
Genma was busily stuffing his face so he only managed a
muffled, "Excellent!".
Only Nabiki didn't look happy, she picked up her camera
and stomped away. "Hey!", Brett called after her, "How about
returning my wallet?".
Nabiki turned around slowly and walked right up to him,
throwing the wallet at his feet, "Here", Nabiki said, "I'll
have the money I owe you by tomorrow!". Brett looked a little
startled by her anger, but before he could say anything, she
had stomped off towards the Tendo Dojo.
Akane gave Brett a serious look, "Now I think you should
explain eaxctly who you are and why you are here", she
insisted, "I've never seen anyone do those kind of things
before".
Cologne spoke up, "He's a god", she said simply, from
where she was sipping her tea.
Genma choked on his lunch, "A..A what?!?!?!", he managed.
Soun gave Brett a curious look, "Must be from one of
those 'new age' religions", he observed.
"Oh come on!", Akane scoffed, "He can't be a god.. gods
don't wear jeans and help cook!".
Brett shook his head, "You'd be surprised", he said,
standing carefully, "I think I'd better go and have a bit of a
rest, I'm not used to all that spellcasting". He took three
steps and collapsed in a heap on the ground. Soun and Genma
carefully examined him, "He's exhausted", Genma confirmed,
"We'd better get him back to the Dojo".
Cologne stood, "Ahh the young.. always overtaxing
themselves", she sighed. She handed Kasumi a small packet of
herbs, "Here, this will help restore his strength", she
explained.
"Great Grandmother... what about 'Kiss of Death'?",
Shampoo insisted, "Surely he not put up a fight now?".
"He might not.. but *we* will!", she announced.
Shampoo smiled evilly, "Violent girl not problem", she
said confidently.
Soun and Genma looked grim, "You'd best leave", Soun
suggested. Cologne smiled slightly and then led Shampoo and
Mousse back towards the Nekohanten.
Kasumi finished packing away the food and picked up the
blanet, "Hurry now.. the faster we get him home, the faster
he'll get better", she insisted.
Soun and Genma (with a little assistance from Akane),
picked up the young man and carried him carefully back to the
Dojo. They placed him in the guest room, beside a sleeping
Ranma. Kasumi examined the card Brett had given her before
the fight, "I wonder?", she mused.
******
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E-Mail: darkwnd@sv.net.au
Web Page: http://www.ozanime.com/darkwind
"Imagination is more important than knowledge"
-Albert Einstein
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